the mind is back on...
This day has been good for me...one day to kind of reset and realize that life isn't vacation...but vacation is important in life. I kind of feel like, in the way that I had new eyes in Hawaii....having only been there before when i was 2 and 7...returning 18 years later it was like I was seeing it for the first time....and now I kind of have new eyes returning to LA after a week away...it's refreshing.
A good friend called today and forced himself upon me...yeah, that sounds good :) But he called and said, I'm coming over, you have no choice. I want to see you. It's been too long, and it had been. Probably at least 2 months if not a little more.
So we walked to get some brunch and catch up. Then we stopped at another place to just have a cup of coffee (the bottomless kind) and just talk....then we came back to my place and talked some more. It's nice to have a good friend in LA that has known me for about 4 years now. Our friendship became even stronger today. He's a great listener. And really good at questioning me and making me think. He's honest and truthful, and I respect that and look for that in a good friend. We spent the afternoon together and then after ignoring about 2 calls from his woman, he had to return home...but it was really good to spend time with him.
But back to the eyes...we walked around my neigborhood...and it was surprisingly warmer today than I expected...but jeans and flip-flops (as opposed to my bikini and flip-flops) is still not what I'm in the mood for just yet :) But walking around I looked around and really took things in. Noticing the details - the thick palm trees, in contrast to the thin spindly ones in hawaii, and I noticed the flowers still in bloom here and the few trees with changing leaves...I stopped to appreciate these things today. And I need to do that every day. I love the details and I need to remember that attention to detail can relate to all things in life - not just my work ethic.
I read this article just now and it kind of mae me think. Jugglezine always has good articles that make me think. This one kind of touches on the contrast of my life at this point...where I have been away from my computer and my cube now and enjoying nature more. I don't know - just thought I'd post it in my journal if anyone else wants to read...
One last thing before I get away from this computer...life is kind of funny these days...a week away from the computer and I didn't miss it - but since I've been back - I have spent a good deal of time in front of this screen, typing away...it connects me with friends, family and the world...but in my typical overthinking fashion...now that I have met more people who are online as well...who have journals and share their lives with the virtual world....I don't know...I just think I should get back to recording some of the thoughts that are in my head in my personal paper journal rather than online. It's vulnerable, posting my inner thoughts for all to read....but at the same time, this is me. This is me in my most vulnerable state - my thoughts...open, honest and uncensored. I've always struggled with this - what to share, what to keep personal...maybe I shouldn't think about it...I mean, I have read other people's journals just as they have read mine...and believe me, this journal has been so helpful for me during this time of change in my life. Moving somewhere completely new and starting over...I've made new friends and learned more about myself...it's nice to have my journal "talk back to me", if you will. I used to write in my paper journal to record my thoughts but also for self-therapy...to clear my head...
what am I getting at here...
...and why do I feel the need to explain myself in my own journal. this is my space, for me to do with what I please...I think it's the fact that I have met people now...they are no longer just virtual personalities that I have come to know online only...but I love to get to know people on the inside more...and that is what this journal experience offers me...I share who I am, and so do others...
who knows...this is open-ended...just emptying out the head...
back in my familiar comfort zone...my apartment...my physical world...but I'm happy to be back in my virtual world too...I think it's just the evolution of who I am as a person and what I'm interested in and where I want to go in life...all of these ideas, beliefs, etc. that are still forming as i grow older each year...who i am this year at this time is not who i was at this time last year...profound, I know :)
do I change the use of this journal...time will tell...for now - the brain babble continues...I could make these all personal entries for my eyes only...but i post online for some reason that i can't perfectly pinpoint right now...other than to connect with others and get some response to what I am feeling...
maybe I should fully unpack now...that will be the full admission that i am really home and ready to face the world...
A good friend called today and forced himself upon me...yeah, that sounds good :) But he called and said, I'm coming over, you have no choice. I want to see you. It's been too long, and it had been. Probably at least 2 months if not a little more.
So we walked to get some brunch and catch up. Then we stopped at another place to just have a cup of coffee (the bottomless kind) and just talk....then we came back to my place and talked some more. It's nice to have a good friend in LA that has known me for about 4 years now. Our friendship became even stronger today. He's a great listener. And really good at questioning me and making me think. He's honest and truthful, and I respect that and look for that in a good friend. We spent the afternoon together and then after ignoring about 2 calls from his woman, he had to return home...but it was really good to spend time with him.
But back to the eyes...we walked around my neigborhood...and it was surprisingly warmer today than I expected...but jeans and flip-flops (as opposed to my bikini and flip-flops) is still not what I'm in the mood for just yet :) But walking around I looked around and really took things in. Noticing the details - the thick palm trees, in contrast to the thin spindly ones in hawaii, and I noticed the flowers still in bloom here and the few trees with changing leaves...I stopped to appreciate these things today. And I need to do that every day. I love the details and I need to remember that attention to detail can relate to all things in life - not just my work ethic.
I read this article just now and it kind of mae me think. Jugglezine always has good articles that make me think. This one kind of touches on the contrast of my life at this point...where I have been away from my computer and my cube now and enjoying nature more. I don't know - just thought I'd post it in my journal if anyone else wants to read...
One last thing before I get away from this computer...life is kind of funny these days...a week away from the computer and I didn't miss it - but since I've been back - I have spent a good deal of time in front of this screen, typing away...it connects me with friends, family and the world...but in my typical overthinking fashion...now that I have met more people who are online as well...who have journals and share their lives with the virtual world....I don't know...I just think I should get back to recording some of the thoughts that are in my head in my personal paper journal rather than online. It's vulnerable, posting my inner thoughts for all to read....but at the same time, this is me. This is me in my most vulnerable state - my thoughts...open, honest and uncensored. I've always struggled with this - what to share, what to keep personal...maybe I shouldn't think about it...I mean, I have read other people's journals just as they have read mine...and believe me, this journal has been so helpful for me during this time of change in my life. Moving somewhere completely new and starting over...I've made new friends and learned more about myself...it's nice to have my journal "talk back to me", if you will. I used to write in my paper journal to record my thoughts but also for self-therapy...to clear my head...
what am I getting at here...
...and why do I feel the need to explain myself in my own journal. this is my space, for me to do with what I please...I think it's the fact that I have met people now...they are no longer just virtual personalities that I have come to know online only...but I love to get to know people on the inside more...and that is what this journal experience offers me...I share who I am, and so do others...
who knows...this is open-ended...just emptying out the head...
back in my familiar comfort zone...my apartment...my physical world...but I'm happy to be back in my virtual world too...I think it's just the evolution of who I am as a person and what I'm interested in and where I want to go in life...all of these ideas, beliefs, etc. that are still forming as i grow older each year...who i am this year at this time is not who i was at this time last year...profound, I know :)
do I change the use of this journal...time will tell...for now - the brain babble continues...I could make these all personal entries for my eyes only...but i post online for some reason that i can't perfectly pinpoint right now...other than to connect with others and get some response to what I am feeling...
maybe I should fully unpack now...that will be the full admission that i am really home and ready to face the world...