(no subject)
Title: 20 Truths of the Spazz Twins
Author: afromatic
Character/Pairing/Group: Madarame Ikkaku and Asano Keigo
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: I do not own Bleach. For it belongs to Kubo. And that's all. Enjoy.
1. A week after the Shinigami arrived; during gym class Ikkaku began his infamous Luck-Luck dance which was mimicked perfectly by Keigo who called it his dance to make women loose their tops. They merged the names and gave birth to the Lucky-Pervert Dance.
2. When Keigo brought home Ikkaku, the Shinigami meandered around until he came to Keigo’s parents room. Keigo would never be the same when he saw the bald-headed Shinigami wave around his mother’s dildo like it was escrima stick.
3. Ikkaku kept his promise of watching out for Keigo but after trying to get his mother to calm down about an F on the guys previous test made him reconsider his promise after he was whapped with a sandal.
4. His first lone battle with a hollow was when Keigo’s power came full circle. It was a glove which let loose strands of silver thread capable of slicing into the enemy and controlling their movements. Keigo loved to abuse that power and make Ikkaku randomly grope Chizuru.
5. They got into fights like any other brotherly duo had in their time. Every fight always ended with Ikkaku choking Keigo with his bokuto and Keigo flailing and screaming about not being able to die without making Chizuru a woman. And Chizuru promptly stomping on Keigo’s head.
6. They both found that even though they had differing personalities, they both found a challenge in trying to woo Chizuru. That and helping one another get over bruised egos from being shot down by the feisty lesbian.
7. Ikkaku was forever amazed the first night he stayed over at Keigo’s place. For he found another person whom thought that little zombie sharks were cute.
8. Keigo would usually look over at Ikkaku and think that he was fearsome thug. It wasn’t until Ikkaku opened his mouth did he find that Ikkaku was a stupid and loud thug. And the boy wouldn’t have his friend any other way.
9.Ikkaku though Keigo was a weakling spazz. But the kid also reminded him about his real younger brother he had before he died and ended up in Soul Society. Looking back and drawing on similarities he wasn’t surprised that his real brother was like Keigo…only Keigo had a chance with a girl.
10. Yumichika sighed and shook his head as he saw Keigo walking past with bright green mascara/war paint over his eyes. Ikkaku thought Keigo was bad ass manly and celebrated by taking him on his first bar brawl spree.
11. Keigo sighed and nursed a swollen cheek as he watched Ikkaku spend his time icing a large bruise which formed on the top of his head. Then and there they swore never to insult Rukia’s drawings.
12. Keigo hated fighting. Ikkaku liked fighting. Keigo liked corner store rice balls. Ikkaku liked corner store rice balls. Keigo hated it when Ikkaku took his riceballs. Ikkaku liked it when Keigo shared his rice balls.
13. Nobody was able to tell which one was the bigger spazz.
14. Keigo hated it when Ikkaku got the remote first, the bald-headed thug would watch sappy romance stories all day long.
15. The source of power behind Ikkaku and Keigo is spazztanium.
16. When they met Ikkaku, Keigo’s father was glad he found a friend that would watch his back. Keigo’s mother just drunkenly kissed Ikkaku.
17. It soon became common knowledge to never give Jagërmeister and Red Bull to Keigo and Ikkaku. The ensuing damage even gave Zaraki and Mayuri nightmares for weeks.
18. Ikkaku’s and Keigo’s chief export is stupidity.
19. Keigo was interested in the Shinigami Divisions and soaked up everything that Ikkaku told him. Kiego decided that he’d wanted to be in the 4th Division which caused his friend to flinch in terror. When Ikkaku asked why Keigo responded.
“Well they do have the majority of the hottest women in the Gotei 13 so I think that evens it all out for not fighting.”
Ikkaku couldn’t find fault in that logic.
20. Ichigo and Yumichika watched as Keigo explained to Ikkaku in all his dramatic glory about the joys of school girl uniforms on Shinigami women and Ikkaku equally spazzing out, closed many of the doubts they had of the two morons being related. And it made them hang their heads in shame as both hopped up and proclaims how all female Shinigami would have to wear school girl outfits for the greater justice of the Gotei 13.
Author: afromatic
Character/Pairing/Group: Madarame Ikkaku and Asano Keigo
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: I do not own Bleach. For it belongs to Kubo. And that's all. Enjoy.
1. A week after the Shinigami arrived; during gym class Ikkaku began his infamous Luck-Luck dance which was mimicked perfectly by Keigo who called it his dance to make women loose their tops. They merged the names and gave birth to the Lucky-Pervert Dance.
2. When Keigo brought home Ikkaku, the Shinigami meandered around until he came to Keigo’s parents room. Keigo would never be the same when he saw the bald-headed Shinigami wave around his mother’s dildo like it was escrima stick.
3. Ikkaku kept his promise of watching out for Keigo but after trying to get his mother to calm down about an F on the guys previous test made him reconsider his promise after he was whapped with a sandal.
4. His first lone battle with a hollow was when Keigo’s power came full circle. It was a glove which let loose strands of silver thread capable of slicing into the enemy and controlling their movements. Keigo loved to abuse that power and make Ikkaku randomly grope Chizuru.
5. They got into fights like any other brotherly duo had in their time. Every fight always ended with Ikkaku choking Keigo with his bokuto and Keigo flailing and screaming about not being able to die without making Chizuru a woman. And Chizuru promptly stomping on Keigo’s head.
6. They both found that even though they had differing personalities, they both found a challenge in trying to woo Chizuru. That and helping one another get over bruised egos from being shot down by the feisty lesbian.
7. Ikkaku was forever amazed the first night he stayed over at Keigo’s place. For he found another person whom thought that little zombie sharks were cute.
8. Keigo would usually look over at Ikkaku and think that he was fearsome thug. It wasn’t until Ikkaku opened his mouth did he find that Ikkaku was a stupid and loud thug. And the boy wouldn’t have his friend any other way.
9.Ikkaku though Keigo was a weakling spazz. But the kid also reminded him about his real younger brother he had before he died and ended up in Soul Society. Looking back and drawing on similarities he wasn’t surprised that his real brother was like Keigo…only Keigo had a chance with a girl.
10. Yumichika sighed and shook his head as he saw Keigo walking past with bright green mascara/war paint over his eyes. Ikkaku thought Keigo was bad ass manly and celebrated by taking him on his first bar brawl spree.
11. Keigo sighed and nursed a swollen cheek as he watched Ikkaku spend his time icing a large bruise which formed on the top of his head. Then and there they swore never to insult Rukia’s drawings.
12. Keigo hated fighting. Ikkaku liked fighting. Keigo liked corner store rice balls. Ikkaku liked corner store rice balls. Keigo hated it when Ikkaku took his riceballs. Ikkaku liked it when Keigo shared his rice balls.
13. Nobody was able to tell which one was the bigger spazz.
14. Keigo hated it when Ikkaku got the remote first, the bald-headed thug would watch sappy romance stories all day long.
15. The source of power behind Ikkaku and Keigo is spazztanium.
16. When they met Ikkaku, Keigo’s father was glad he found a friend that would watch his back. Keigo’s mother just drunkenly kissed Ikkaku.
17. It soon became common knowledge to never give Jagërmeister and Red Bull to Keigo and Ikkaku. The ensuing damage even gave Zaraki and Mayuri nightmares for weeks.
18. Ikkaku’s and Keigo’s chief export is stupidity.
19. Keigo was interested in the Shinigami Divisions and soaked up everything that Ikkaku told him. Kiego decided that he’d wanted to be in the 4th Division which caused his friend to flinch in terror. When Ikkaku asked why Keigo responded.
“Well they do have the majority of the hottest women in the Gotei 13 so I think that evens it all out for not fighting.”
Ikkaku couldn’t find fault in that logic.
20. Ichigo and Yumichika watched as Keigo explained to Ikkaku in all his dramatic glory about the joys of school girl uniforms on Shinigami women and Ikkaku equally spazzing out, closed many of the doubts they had of the two morons being related. And it made them hang their heads in shame as both hopped up and proclaims how all female Shinigami would have to wear school girl outfits for the greater justice of the Gotei 13.