(no subject)
Ok first things first, thank you soooooo much for that comment Gina it really trully meant/means something, i dont think anyone i know, knows what i am going through right now and it sucks, it sucks even more because i have no one to talk to about it.. and i mean no one.. yes i have friends, but not like really close friends..at least not lately.. Leia and i have gotten surprsingly close and i couldnt be happier, cause she cant really talk to anyone about anything without gossip going around and neither can i...with the exception of what i have been posting there is soooo much more and luckily i can talk to her about at least half of it...hey its a start. I hope her and I get better friends but i dont know because i do not know how much we will hang out after summer school is over...but hopefully. Thank you also for all the things you said about me it feels better to hear stuff like that from someone who will tell the straight forward truth like you do. i think sometimes it is also better to hear that kind of stuff from someone you wouldnt normally hear it from, it makes it all the more meaningfull, you know. And i REALLY need to go to SYMS, i think i am just scared a little and i dont know, just have to figure a few things out first. Thank you for everything. reallly.thank you.
Ok i wanted to say that, and lets see what is going onnn... Well I would have blogged before but i usually blog when things have changed and contrary to what i thought.. they havent.. Parents are still fighting both are still drunk (mostly my stepdad). Actually they are currently fighting about me...not anything unusual because "their relationship is going down the tubes because of me" yeah ok! Not cause of aaaaannnnytthhing else??? i dont think so! The $200 that i was supposed to be getting as a belated birthday present (which was supposed to be for SYMS) .. yeah .. well i probably wont be getting that. at all! none of it! my step dad is being the fucking dick head that he always is and now i dont even know if i will be able to get the money to fucking go! ( i think i will prolly end up fucking begging my grandparents for sympathy on my case..) They know some of what has been going on but not to the full extent, and i want to tell them soo bad...my stepdad picks fights with my mom literally EVERY FUCKING NIGHT! and it fucking blows, to tell you the truth..i am kinda scared to leave because if i do...there will be NO ONE here to protect my mom...i know that she is a majjor bitch half the time, but i dont know what i would do if i came home and there were bruises on my mothers arms again... ..i hate this! My life is just one big shit hole and i can do absolutley nothing about it! I hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this! I dont think i can say this enough! i wish my mother met someone else!! i hate Dennis i hate him i hate him i hate him! I hope i can go to SYMS because when i do i wont call or make contact because i fucking hate them and this stupid drama! i shouldnt have to deal with this and yet i do...how am i still alive??
Ok i wanted to say that, and lets see what is going onnn... Well I would have blogged before but i usually blog when things have changed and contrary to what i thought.. they havent.. Parents are still fighting both are still drunk (mostly my stepdad). Actually they are currently fighting about me...not anything unusual because "their relationship is going down the tubes because of me" yeah ok! Not cause of aaaaannnnytthhing else??? i dont think so! The $200 that i was supposed to be getting as a belated birthday present (which was supposed to be for SYMS) .. yeah .. well i probably wont be getting that. at all! none of it! my step dad is being the fucking dick head that he always is and now i dont even know if i will be able to get the money to fucking go! ( i think i will prolly end up fucking begging my grandparents for sympathy on my case..) They know some of what has been going on but not to the full extent, and i want to tell them soo bad...my stepdad picks fights with my mom literally EVERY FUCKING NIGHT! and it fucking blows, to tell you the truth..i am kinda scared to leave because if i do...there will be NO ONE here to protect my mom...i know that she is a majjor bitch half the time, but i dont know what i would do if i came home and there were bruises on my mothers arms again... ..i hate this! My life is just one big shit hole and i can do absolutley nothing about it! I hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this! I dont think i can say this enough! i wish my mother met someone else!! i hate Dennis i hate him i hate him i hate him! I hope i can go to SYMS because when i do i wont call or make contact because i fucking hate them and this stupid drama! i shouldnt have to deal with this and yet i do...how am i still alive??