(no subject)
i went to sleep at 4.... i woke up at 6.... im not tired and i dont feel like forcing myself to sleep....
i've been trying to figure out lately if the way i am leading my life is a waste... everything seems to be a routine.... there isn't much divergance... i seem to get sick of everything very quickly; i just dont know how to hold onto my joy..... i was reading an essay by thich nhat hanh about buddha and his teachings a little earlier and it actually made me a little happier.... in it he says " the teachings of the buddha were not to escape from life, but to help us relate to ourselves and the world as thoroughly as possible"... upon reading this i came to the realization that i am disconnected from myself.... i dont know who i am and what i want or expect from myself.... i dont know what will actually put me into a state of happiness or if there is some kind of craving, that i cant comprehend, that will finally make me satisfied..... i said that reading the essay made me happier and it may seem from what i just said that i should be more sad, but it is the fact that i am actually aware of this disconnection now that makes me happy.... now i know that i dont know.... with this new knowledge maybe i can work to make myself more aware of myself and those things that surround me everyday..... i have become out of touch, but atleast now i am aware...
he also says in the essay "to suceed in the practice, we must stop trying to prove that everything is suffering. in fact, we must stop trying to prove anything. if we touch the truth of suffering with our mindfulness, we will be able to identify and recognize our specific suffering, its specific causes, and the way to remove these causes and our suffering..."
i need to become more mindful of my suffering.... that is how i will alleviate it.
i've been trying to figure out lately if the way i am leading my life is a waste... everything seems to be a routine.... there isn't much divergance... i seem to get sick of everything very quickly; i just dont know how to hold onto my joy..... i was reading an essay by thich nhat hanh about buddha and his teachings a little earlier and it actually made me a little happier.... in it he says " the teachings of the buddha were not to escape from life, but to help us relate to ourselves and the world as thoroughly as possible"... upon reading this i came to the realization that i am disconnected from myself.... i dont know who i am and what i want or expect from myself.... i dont know what will actually put me into a state of happiness or if there is some kind of craving, that i cant comprehend, that will finally make me satisfied..... i said that reading the essay made me happier and it may seem from what i just said that i should be more sad, but it is the fact that i am actually aware of this disconnection now that makes me happy.... now i know that i dont know.... with this new knowledge maybe i can work to make myself more aware of myself and those things that surround me everyday..... i have become out of touch, but atleast now i am aware...
he also says in the essay "to suceed in the practice, we must stop trying to prove that everything is suffering. in fact, we must stop trying to prove anything. if we touch the truth of suffering with our mindfulness, we will be able to identify and recognize our specific suffering, its specific causes, and the way to remove these causes and our suffering..."
i need to become more mindful of my suffering.... that is how i will alleviate it.