i've been there before
After meeting someone and getting to know them, we tend to gain trust in them and start believing in every word that significant person has to say. Well it doesn't usually go both ways, in my case anyway. He trusts me more than i trust him. He may let me do anything i wish to do, but eveything he does i start "jelling" if you will. Trust shouldn't be so easily "produced" ..i would think it takes a long period of time to form but for some couples it may take just a few months...which i find awkward. But what i've learned is that i may suddenly trust somone in a few weeks, 5 months... or even 2 years.....but even then, can i never let my guard down. Never ever ignore your gut feeling, those instincts that evey woman has when it comes to a man fucking around, 95% of the time its true.In the relationship that i'm significantly pointing out i was on his case 24/7 because from what i heard... i needed to be stererotypical when i came to "his type"...but NOOO its me and him against the world... the whole "i dont give a fuck about what people say...even tho hes black doesn't mean hes gunna fuck around" yeah well EVERYONE can fuck around but it just happen to be that black people stand out? i guess... yes well thats what everyone told me but i didn't listen because i seem to have this very confident feeling that he wasn't like that... considering people KNEW what they were talkinga bout from past experiences.... AND...considering i met him one day and became a couple the next.... AND ...considering i didn't know anything about him let alone his NAME for a week.but i was pretty DAMN sure he wasn't like the rest. After, the rest was history....2 and a half years of infamous history that everyone seemed to know everything about... which may i add ..didn't...but throughout those 2 and a half years, i've obviously developed some sort of lifestyle that was addicting, the whole trust thing... " oh you promise" or " swear to God your telling the truth" ... clearly wasn't kicking in and this continued for quite a while and it only got worse. Soon after, i just wanted him to leave, he was pissing me off BEYOND BELIEF and oh maan let me tell you i was all " FUCK LOVE" and " FUCK MANS YO" i was hatingggg but honestly.. what could i've expected.. i knew it was coming.. i knew he was gunna fuck up SOMEHOW... if not him me. but the whole him making promises and breaking them, yeah if anything.. tell me straight up instead of me finding out on my ownt ....but we're damn human maan what more could i have expected...dude you never know...sometimes promises can be broken even right after they're made... like cmon.. hes in bloody england now. serious. let me tell you how i hated him SO much for leaving me here in crappy canada by myself... straight up and honestly my life was quite crappy after he left. but true say I wouldn've..no wait.. WE would've fucked ourselves over completely..maan we still argue even tho hes in england. whack much?! but yeah after he left...actually like last week, i realized im sooo chilling without him here like seriously... he just turned 20..if he was here.. holy crap hed be out every night. but yeah ... . as much as you may miss a person ..you gotta pick up that reality check, snap back to reality and move on. because as much as i hate to believe it... sometimes goodbyes really do mean forever. and i honestly wouldn't have it anyother way.....
=D