(no subject)
life is an ever changing organism....i am not sure that is the word I am looking for...but I can't help but be looking. I always want more then I have - always curious on the grass quailty on the other side
and that is both good and bad I guess. good cause it makes me want more and push myself to go a little further. I expect things to meet certian guidelines and if they are not up to snuff I will tell you.
but at the same time it makes it hard for me to enjoy those few little things I have going for me. all I do is complain and then I feel like shit.
i guess its just that the things in my life I want to change - I can't. I don't have to power or resources to change things and this lack of power/control really scares me. it makes me feel so small and insignificant that I cannot even make my own life better - how am I supposed to help anyone else?
and that is both good and bad I guess. good cause it makes me want more and push myself to go a little further. I expect things to meet certian guidelines and if they are not up to snuff I will tell you.
but at the same time it makes it hard for me to enjoy those few little things I have going for me. all I do is complain and then I feel like shit.
i guess its just that the things in my life I want to change - I can't. I don't have to power or resources to change things and this lack of power/control really scares me. it makes me feel so small and insignificant that I cannot even make my own life better - how am I supposed to help anyone else?