So much to talk about
So much has happended... it always seems that way... but its all good - for the most part anyway.
Work: Is crazy. My boss and some teammates were in town last week. And yet, you would think new boss, so much going on - some team building event would take place - yes? Oh most definately not. Lot's of meetings... lots of explaing and re-explaining how and why we do things a certain way... and lots of new procedures and many, many new reporting procedures. So much more administrative work, I wonder when do we really get to do our work? Oh my... but the good thing? I realized everyone is feeling as I do - well, that is not a good thing, but its a good thing to know I am not alone. It's a goot thing to realize I am not the only one who is feeling like they are always failing... ya, not a good thing, and something that could easily be cured by some team building thing... lunch, dinner - something - but nope - nothing... oh well... I have come to the conclusion that this job is a tool... its a tool for me to get my experience and move on. Once I have the experience, I can get my certs, and be on my merry way. And in the mean time, I at least understand the situation better. And I really think my office mate is one of the coolest people I have worked directly with in a very long time.
Personal... where to start? tonight... normal Tuesday night with the girls was cancelled... we went to celebrate with Heather at her book release party for her new book, S.E.X. She is a very cool person. And she is doing work that I respect, and admire... which made celebrating with her that much more fun. It was a pretty electic crowd. And I ended up talking to this couple that I thought was pretty cool. At first, they seemed kind of exclusive... just sticking to each other. And then I reaized, they are really just into each other. Another word other than "cool" escapes me. But the way they just looked at each other gave me hope. They were really sweet together. And they are going to have another baby... 3 teenage daughters, and a new born to come. Sweet. We started talking about Pilates... and they live in Bellingham, but come to UVillage for their classes because of the particular instructor. I was actually intrigued. Maybe I will check it out. Well, it is on the list now.
I also got a chance to speak to pescana's friend Nan. It seems odd, even though we have hung out before, I don't think we actually ever really talked about anything. And then she asked me about my half marathon and training... and she had a lot of great pointers. I knew she had done Iron Man's but, I didn't know she had ever done marathons - turns out she had done full's. She also told me some lore about some women runners... it wasnt until 1984 that females could do full marathons competively! Oh my!!! It definately made me happy that I broke down and got some Claritan. Thanks for the advice lovelylissa_red. I was struggling all weekend, with the worst allergies, and was trying to treat it holistically, but that was just not working for me. And I missed out on my weekend training... so, I broke down and took some meds, and what do you know, it worked!
My ex is still my ex-ass... my 90 days are almost up - at the end of this month, and it is not looking good for making it officially legal so quickly. Even his attorney is being difficult. Ugh - oh well, I just get to read the letters that being sent... I don't really have any contact, so yea.
I tried match.com for a month... I don't think I am ready. I did meet one person - but mostly we just email. We met once for coffee.. but I don't think he is actually ready either... and there seems to be a lot of drama around it. And the fact that I don't care, well, that is telling. I am pretty content to focus on work and training and some fun with friends.
Oh, and the biggest news... drum roll please... ty, I talked to my parents. Yup, I called them. And I had this very nice little conversation with them. I told them that I realized I could not hold them responsible and I could not get upset if they chose not to get involved. But I could make my choices. And my choices were not to put myself in the position to be verbally assaulted by anyone. Including my dear brother. I asked that they respect my boundaries. I asked that they support him not flipping out. I asked that they interfere when he misbehaves. I asked that they not listen to him bashing me in front of my neices, all the while stating that it was my choice to ask, and their choice to support me or not to. Either way, I would do what it took to support my mental well being. And they were suprisingly receptive. I told them that if my boundaries were crossed, either they would say something, or I would leave. They understood. My mom alluded to me "punishing" them. I explained that taking care of myself is not a punishment to them. It's respecting my own boundaries. My dad said that he flips out on them all the time. In fact, he said, that he turn 180 degrees in an instant. And I just explained that is not acceptable. I cannot handle that kind of volatility. And they UNDERSTODD! Oh my! So, yea, it worked out after all. I knew it would, I just needed time and space... and I think they did too. And giving myself that time and space allowed me to approach it rationally. YEA! I did sent my mother a very nice crystal rose bowl for Mothers Day... I always give her crystal for mothers day. So, I know she will like it. She lost all of hers in the 94 quake... that is how that got started. And a rose bowl seemed like a good idea, for her new brown kitchen... nah, really, my dad still brings roses from the garden in for her, and she usually uses a dish... now, she can have something special. I was suprised the conversation went as well as it did. Maybe I am growing... maybe I have really learned my boundaries. Maybe I have just figured out how to stand up for myself. Either way, it was nice. Stressful, but nice.... that was Sunday... and it's Tuesday and the night out really but a "bow" on the gift that was that conversation.
Maybe it will get better with my brother too... then again, that is what Mark My Words says is the best and worst thing about me... my hope that my brother will stop being a jerk, and will actually be nice. Well, he is my brother. And I do have hope... but not for anytime soon. Time will tell. And in the mean time, even my dad says, that although he cant stop my bro from speaking ill of me, the girls already know. And that is cool. Truth always comes out.
Whew, that is all... well, Mark My Words is not his real name... but that is another story ;-)
Work: Is crazy. My boss and some teammates were in town last week. And yet, you would think new boss, so much going on - some team building event would take place - yes? Oh most definately not. Lot's of meetings... lots of explaing and re-explaining how and why we do things a certain way... and lots of new procedures and many, many new reporting procedures. So much more administrative work, I wonder when do we really get to do our work? Oh my... but the good thing? I realized everyone is feeling as I do - well, that is not a good thing, but its a good thing to know I am not alone. It's a goot thing to realize I am not the only one who is feeling like they are always failing... ya, not a good thing, and something that could easily be cured by some team building thing... lunch, dinner - something - but nope - nothing... oh well... I have come to the conclusion that this job is a tool... its a tool for me to get my experience and move on. Once I have the experience, I can get my certs, and be on my merry way. And in the mean time, I at least understand the situation better. And I really think my office mate is one of the coolest people I have worked directly with in a very long time.
Personal... where to start? tonight... normal Tuesday night with the girls was cancelled... we went to celebrate with Heather at her book release party for her new book, S.E.X. She is a very cool person. And she is doing work that I respect, and admire... which made celebrating with her that much more fun. It was a pretty electic crowd. And I ended up talking to this couple that I thought was pretty cool. At first, they seemed kind of exclusive... just sticking to each other. And then I reaized, they are really just into each other. Another word other than "cool" escapes me. But the way they just looked at each other gave me hope. They were really sweet together. And they are going to have another baby... 3 teenage daughters, and a new born to come. Sweet. We started talking about Pilates... and they live in Bellingham, but come to UVillage for their classes because of the particular instructor. I was actually intrigued. Maybe I will check it out. Well, it is on the list now.
I also got a chance to speak to pescana's friend Nan. It seems odd, even though we have hung out before, I don't think we actually ever really talked about anything. And then she asked me about my half marathon and training... and she had a lot of great pointers. I knew she had done Iron Man's but, I didn't know she had ever done marathons - turns out she had done full's. She also told me some lore about some women runners... it wasnt until 1984 that females could do full marathons competively! Oh my!!! It definately made me happy that I broke down and got some Claritan. Thanks for the advice lovelylissa_red. I was struggling all weekend, with the worst allergies, and was trying to treat it holistically, but that was just not working for me. And I missed out on my weekend training... so, I broke down and took some meds, and what do you know, it worked!
My ex is still my ex-ass... my 90 days are almost up - at the end of this month, and it is not looking good for making it officially legal so quickly. Even his attorney is being difficult. Ugh - oh well, I just get to read the letters that being sent... I don't really have any contact, so yea.
I tried match.com for a month... I don't think I am ready. I did meet one person - but mostly we just email. We met once for coffee.. but I don't think he is actually ready either... and there seems to be a lot of drama around it. And the fact that I don't care, well, that is telling. I am pretty content to focus on work and training and some fun with friends.
Oh, and the biggest news... drum roll please... ty, I talked to my parents. Yup, I called them. And I had this very nice little conversation with them. I told them that I realized I could not hold them responsible and I could not get upset if they chose not to get involved. But I could make my choices. And my choices were not to put myself in the position to be verbally assaulted by anyone. Including my dear brother. I asked that they respect my boundaries. I asked that they support him not flipping out. I asked that they interfere when he misbehaves. I asked that they not listen to him bashing me in front of my neices, all the while stating that it was my choice to ask, and their choice to support me or not to. Either way, I would do what it took to support my mental well being. And they were suprisingly receptive. I told them that if my boundaries were crossed, either they would say something, or I would leave. They understood. My mom alluded to me "punishing" them. I explained that taking care of myself is not a punishment to them. It's respecting my own boundaries. My dad said that he flips out on them all the time. In fact, he said, that he turn 180 degrees in an instant. And I just explained that is not acceptable. I cannot handle that kind of volatility. And they UNDERSTODD! Oh my! So, yea, it worked out after all. I knew it would, I just needed time and space... and I think they did too. And giving myself that time and space allowed me to approach it rationally. YEA! I did sent my mother a very nice crystal rose bowl for Mothers Day... I always give her crystal for mothers day. So, I know she will like it. She lost all of hers in the 94 quake... that is how that got started. And a rose bowl seemed like a good idea, for her new brown kitchen... nah, really, my dad still brings roses from the garden in for her, and she usually uses a dish... now, she can have something special. I was suprised the conversation went as well as it did. Maybe I am growing... maybe I have really learned my boundaries. Maybe I have just figured out how to stand up for myself. Either way, it was nice. Stressful, but nice.... that was Sunday... and it's Tuesday and the night out really but a "bow" on the gift that was that conversation.
Maybe it will get better with my brother too... then again, that is what Mark My Words says is the best and worst thing about me... my hope that my brother will stop being a jerk, and will actually be nice. Well, he is my brother. And I do have hope... but not for anytime soon. Time will tell. And in the mean time, even my dad says, that although he cant stop my bro from speaking ill of me, the girls already know. And that is cool. Truth always comes out.
Whew, that is all... well, Mark My Words is not his real name... but that is another story ;-)