SVT50 Jessica and the Secret Star
This is it, you guys! The last SVT to be recapped! Let’s all gather around in hushed awe. Maybe even around a campfire. With a bag of cool green stuff to throw on the fire. ...Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this story The Tale of Jessica and the Secret Star.
Cover, depicting Jessica Wakefield and Maria Slater (the titular Secret Star). Omg guys, Maria used to be a child star!! Who knew!! (I never knew this was once a secret. Every other book with Maria beats us over the head with it). But yes, moving past the obvious cover issues (i.e. that Jessica looks like she needs her arms that way for structural support), I’m more concerned about the background. Are they meant to be at SVMS? It looks more like a prison yard.
Open discussion: what do you think should be on the exterior walls at SVMS? Or SVH, for that matter? I’m thinking a giant poster of the basketball team, much like the comically large one that Vanessa Hudgens sings in front of in the first High School Musical movie.
Story! The new girl, Maria, is introduced in homeroom. She transferred from Los Angeles (your school has no gymnastics team!) and is wearing such cool clothes that even Lila grudgingly approves. Jessica immediately thinks that she looks familiar and can’t place why, so she introduces herself between classes to solve the mystery. They get along well enough, but there are a few shifty-eyed stammering moments when Jessica asks about her old school, and whether she’s met her somewhere before. Jessica vows and declares to figure out why Maria looks so frustratingly familiar.
Sadly, Jessica is struck down by a cold and can’t go to school the next day. Well, it’s sad for Steven, who’s also sick enough to stay home from school. Steven complains that she’ll make him watch ‘Days of Turnips’ (ha!) and Jess complains that she’ll make him watch Wrestlerama (okay, I can sympathise. My older brother also went through a pro-wrestling phase). They compromise by watching a movie called The Visitor. The stellar plot, according to the SV TVGuide, is that “an alien from outer space befriends a young girl”. Sounds like a perfect sick-day movie.
About ten seconds into the film, Jessica sees the main character and is all “OMG IT’S MARIA!” and realises that she’s seen Maria in stacks of movies and commercials. Mystery solved! Jessica is disproportionately excited and decides to stay friends with Maria purely to be introduced to famous people. And she decides to respect Maria’s decision to keep her identity secret (only because it’s the way to stay friends, and therefore meet Jake Sommers!) I love how Jessica’s mind works, and her assumption that a child actress from TV movies and commercials is in with the A-list crowd.
At school the next day, Jessica creepily stares at Maria. She tries to become friends with her by complaining about the poetry unit in English, and belittling the Sixers. However, Maria is all “I love writing!” and starts to become friends with Elizabeth. Maria agrees to write a profile on the drama club for the clubs issue of the Sixers. Also, Lila has spent chapter two complaining about the new square dance unit in gym class, only to open chapter three by yelling “swing your partners, do-si-do!” and pulling Jessica across the gym against her will. I kind of love the idea that Lila secretly adores square dancing, it’s like Bender wanting to be a folk singer. Anyway, the other kids are way nice to Maria. She’s particularly making friends with Mandy and Elizabeth. Jessica starts to freak out that this means she won’t be a special enough friend to be introduced to famous people. Oh Jessica.
Jessica invites Maria over after school, but she isn’t too interested in Jessica’s rambling about boys and clothes. Liz comes in and Maria happily discusses the Sixers with her, and Jess is all “FAME! UR DOIN IT RONG!” Maria goes home, but Jess discovers she left her backpack in the Wakefield living room. How on earth did Maria forget her entire backpack? I did that once in kindergarten, I made it to school and realised that I left my backpack at home. I was five, but still horrified and embarrassed that I did something so stupid. Jessica looks for a phone number so she can call and return the backpack, which is just a cover for snooping through Maria’s things. She finds a notebook full of Maria’s handwriting, saying things like “Every good actor knows you have to research a role thoroughly ... I’ll have to live the life of my character, an average twelve-year-old kid ... For a brief moment in my life, I will stop being a star. I will just be me.” Quiz! How does Jess respond?
a) “Hmm, acting must be difficult. I respect Maria’s hard work.”
b) “Hmm, this phrasing doesn’t particularly sound like a journal. In fact, it almost sounds like a story…”
c) “HELL YES I’M FRIENDS WITH A STAR! :D”
She chooses c. I know, I nearly fell off my chair from the shock.
Maria arrives home and hangs out with her sister Nina. She tells Nina how much she likes Sweet Valley, and might just show Elizabeth the story she’s been working on. Hmmm, a story you say? Jess rings and is overly eager to bring Maria’s notes over, or even read them aloud over the phone. Jessica is creepy and weird in this book. When Maria says she’ll probably study in the evening, Jess says, “I understand. Just your basic, average evening. Me too. I’ll just eat dinner and do my homework, like your typical sixth grader.” Wow Jess, that’s so smooth.
At school the next day, Jessica acts normal for about two seconds before she cracks and gushes about how cool Maria’s movie past is. Maria learns that Jess recognised her from watching The Alien, and deduces that Jessica read her story and thought it was her diary. Jess is all “Do you know Johnny Buck?? Can you introduce me??” and Maria is all “Uh, sure. Whatever.” And she makes Jess promise not to tell anybody about her movie past. Since she’s new, I suppose we can forgive her for expecting Jessica to actually keep this promise.
Maria and Mandy head to the drama club introductory meeting (Mandy to learn about auditions, Maria as a reporter). After the meeting, Mandy convinces Maria to audition with her and Maria’s all, “Crap, but this might push Jessica over the edge!” Meanwhile, Jessica is already off the edge and is making the Unicorns guess her secret. The guessing game quickly descends into “OMG JOHNNY BUCK IS COMING?!” so Jessica cuts to the chase and tells them that Maria is an undercover movie star who’s researching average students. The Unicorns are all, “Omg that’s us! We’re average! And popular!”
Then we get a whole lot of exposition that’s just making sure we understand that Maria’s not really an undercover actress, Jessica just read a half-finished story and thought it was her diary. We get it, okay!
At school the next day, the Unicorns are all “sit with us, Maria! Come eat a typical middle school lunch, wink wink!”. Understandably, she sits with Liz and Amy. The Unicorns are annoying, I would seriously rather sit with Liz. Liz and Amy gush over Maria’s Sixers article (they don’t know about the movie-star past, so their praise is all ~genuine~) and ask to see any more of her writing. She shows them the undercover-movie-star short story, and Liz is all “Omg so creative! Where’d you get the idea?” and Maria’s like “oh, well, you know.”
Meanwhile, the Unicorns have a meeting to figure out what to do about the Maria thing. The decide that they can’t truly exploit her if she doesn’t know they all know, but if they tell her they know then it looks like Jessica spread the secret. So they start thinking of a subtle plan to get Maria to tell them herself. The “subtle” course of action goes out the window the second they decide on a game of truth or dare. Because asking “are you actually an undercover actress?” is so subtle.
At the sleepover, they begin the game and Maria is relieved that she doesn’t need to ask the rules - she played a scripted version in a horror movie once. I was going to mock her for this, but then I realised that I learnt the rules to most stereotypical teen games by watching TV shows with them, not by playing them (e.g. Spin the Bottle from Full House, and Seven Minutes in Heaven from Boy Meets World) so maybe it actually makes sense. When Janet orders the game to begin, Ellen adorably says “But I’m not finished braiding Lila’s hair!” Awww.
So once it’s Jess’s turn she asks Maria if she’s an undercover actress. How is this meant to let Jessica save face with Maria? How? Maria thinks “Meh, may as well have fun with this,” and is all “Why yes I am!” and makes up all this crap about how this supposed movie is also starring Melody Power and Johnny Buck, and says she’ll bring the Unicorns to set to meet them. Wow, that was a stupid move. Also, Melody Power and Johnny Buck are singers. If this move existed, it would probably be unbelievably bad. And there’s this creepy line when Maria tells Mandy “maybe you can pick up some acting pointers [at the set]” and Janet responds “maybe I can pick up some actors!”
The next day, Jess tells Liz about Maria being an undercover actress. Liz thinks “Hmm, sounds a lot like that story she’s writing. And didn’t Maria say she never writes about real life?” (she did, I just didn’t bother including it in that part of the recap). Liz thinks something is amiss, but she’s too busy feeling pleased with herself for vowing to be Maria’s friend, not her fan, to bother thinking too hard about it.
The next day, Maria is being fawned over by random students. Liz helps her to escape to the library, only to have some girl called Pamela fawn over Liz. As in, the narration says she “gazes admiringly” at her, and gushes about how nice she is and the way she dots her I’s. Because even when there’s a former child star who’s rumoured to be bff with Hollywood’s a-list, it’s still all about the Wakefields.
Later, Lila and Jessica are all “we’ve got Lila’s dad’s yacht for a party on Saturday! Bring the movie cast!”. Ruh roh! We’re also treated to this awesome scene where Jessica, Lila and Ellen are arguing about how to decorate the yacht. Lila is annoyed about purple crepe paper clashing with the apricot and puce interior decoration, and Ellen needs “apricot” explained to her.
Liz asks Jessica how she found out about Maria’s movie-star status and she admits to snooping and reading it in the notebook. In Liz’s mind, everything falls into place and she starts to tell Jess, but Jess is all “NO LECTURES NO LECTURES, LALALALALA!” and runs out of the room. Liz talks to Maria, who cries and admits she isn’t getting work anymore, and she’s scared she’s all washed up as an actress. There’s no mention of a shoulder pat, but I think we can be pretty sure it happens.
So the party rolls around. Jess has hung up a banner saying Welcome to Sweet Valley, America’s Most Typical Town! Ha, this banner is one of my new favourite things. And I’ve never been to America, so I’ve seen no proof that that’s not true. So everyone is wondering where all the famous stars are, and Maria shows up and does one of those big semi-impromptu speeches like in a movie, where the hero admits what they did wrong and tells the truth. After she’s finished, someone starts a slow clap. Seriously. And then everyone’s all “eh, whatever, Yacht Party!” All’s well that ends well, I suppose.
Thus ends the SVT recaps. And the final recapped image is a party on George Fowler’s yacht, decorated with purple crepe paper and a Welcome to Sweet Valley, America’s Most Typical Town! banner. Party on, SVT. Party on.
Cover, depicting Jessica Wakefield and Maria Slater (the titular Secret Star). Omg guys, Maria used to be a child star!! Who knew!! (I never knew this was once a secret. Every other book with Maria beats us over the head with it). But yes, moving past the obvious cover issues (i.e. that Jessica looks like she needs her arms that way for structural support), I’m more concerned about the background. Are they meant to be at SVMS? It looks more like a prison yard.
Open discussion: what do you think should be on the exterior walls at SVMS? Or SVH, for that matter? I’m thinking a giant poster of the basketball team, much like the comically large one that Vanessa Hudgens sings in front of in the first High School Musical movie.
Story! The new girl, Maria, is introduced in homeroom. She transferred from Los Angeles (your school has no gymnastics team!) and is wearing such cool clothes that even Lila grudgingly approves. Jessica immediately thinks that she looks familiar and can’t place why, so she introduces herself between classes to solve the mystery. They get along well enough, but there are a few shifty-eyed stammering moments when Jessica asks about her old school, and whether she’s met her somewhere before. Jessica vows and declares to figure out why Maria looks so frustratingly familiar.
Sadly, Jessica is struck down by a cold and can’t go to school the next day. Well, it’s sad for Steven, who’s also sick enough to stay home from school. Steven complains that she’ll make him watch ‘Days of Turnips’ (ha!) and Jess complains that she’ll make him watch Wrestlerama (okay, I can sympathise. My older brother also went through a pro-wrestling phase). They compromise by watching a movie called The Visitor. The stellar plot, according to the SV TVGuide, is that “an alien from outer space befriends a young girl”. Sounds like a perfect sick-day movie.
About ten seconds into the film, Jessica sees the main character and is all “OMG IT’S MARIA!” and realises that she’s seen Maria in stacks of movies and commercials. Mystery solved! Jessica is disproportionately excited and decides to stay friends with Maria purely to be introduced to famous people. And she decides to respect Maria’s decision to keep her identity secret (only because it’s the way to stay friends, and therefore meet Jake Sommers!) I love how Jessica’s mind works, and her assumption that a child actress from TV movies and commercials is in with the A-list crowd.
At school the next day, Jessica creepily stares at Maria. She tries to become friends with her by complaining about the poetry unit in English, and belittling the Sixers. However, Maria is all “I love writing!” and starts to become friends with Elizabeth. Maria agrees to write a profile on the drama club for the clubs issue of the Sixers. Also, Lila has spent chapter two complaining about the new square dance unit in gym class, only to open chapter three by yelling “swing your partners, do-si-do!” and pulling Jessica across the gym against her will. I kind of love the idea that Lila secretly adores square dancing, it’s like Bender wanting to be a folk singer. Anyway, the other kids are way nice to Maria. She’s particularly making friends with Mandy and Elizabeth. Jessica starts to freak out that this means she won’t be a special enough friend to be introduced to famous people. Oh Jessica.
Jessica invites Maria over after school, but she isn’t too interested in Jessica’s rambling about boys and clothes. Liz comes in and Maria happily discusses the Sixers with her, and Jess is all “FAME! UR DOIN IT RONG!” Maria goes home, but Jess discovers she left her backpack in the Wakefield living room. How on earth did Maria forget her entire backpack? I did that once in kindergarten, I made it to school and realised that I left my backpack at home. I was five, but still horrified and embarrassed that I did something so stupid. Jessica looks for a phone number so she can call and return the backpack, which is just a cover for snooping through Maria’s things. She finds a notebook full of Maria’s handwriting, saying things like “Every good actor knows you have to research a role thoroughly ... I’ll have to live the life of my character, an average twelve-year-old kid ... For a brief moment in my life, I will stop being a star. I will just be me.” Quiz! How does Jess respond?
a) “Hmm, acting must be difficult. I respect Maria’s hard work.”
b) “Hmm, this phrasing doesn’t particularly sound like a journal. In fact, it almost sounds like a story…”
c) “HELL YES I’M FRIENDS WITH A STAR! :D”
She chooses c. I know, I nearly fell off my chair from the shock.
Maria arrives home and hangs out with her sister Nina. She tells Nina how much she likes Sweet Valley, and might just show Elizabeth the story she’s been working on. Hmmm, a story you say? Jess rings and is overly eager to bring Maria’s notes over, or even read them aloud over the phone. Jessica is creepy and weird in this book. When Maria says she’ll probably study in the evening, Jess says, “I understand. Just your basic, average evening. Me too. I’ll just eat dinner and do my homework, like your typical sixth grader.” Wow Jess, that’s so smooth.
At school the next day, Jessica acts normal for about two seconds before she cracks and gushes about how cool Maria’s movie past is. Maria learns that Jess recognised her from watching The Alien, and deduces that Jessica read her story and thought it was her diary. Jess is all “Do you know Johnny Buck?? Can you introduce me??” and Maria is all “Uh, sure. Whatever.” And she makes Jess promise not to tell anybody about her movie past. Since she’s new, I suppose we can forgive her for expecting Jessica to actually keep this promise.
Maria and Mandy head to the drama club introductory meeting (Mandy to learn about auditions, Maria as a reporter). After the meeting, Mandy convinces Maria to audition with her and Maria’s all, “Crap, but this might push Jessica over the edge!” Meanwhile, Jessica is already off the edge and is making the Unicorns guess her secret. The guessing game quickly descends into “OMG JOHNNY BUCK IS COMING?!” so Jessica cuts to the chase and tells them that Maria is an undercover movie star who’s researching average students. The Unicorns are all, “Omg that’s us! We’re average! And popular!”
Then we get a whole lot of exposition that’s just making sure we understand that Maria’s not really an undercover actress, Jessica just read a half-finished story and thought it was her diary. We get it, okay!
At school the next day, the Unicorns are all “sit with us, Maria! Come eat a typical middle school lunch, wink wink!”. Understandably, she sits with Liz and Amy. The Unicorns are annoying, I would seriously rather sit with Liz. Liz and Amy gush over Maria’s Sixers article (they don’t know about the movie-star past, so their praise is all ~genuine~) and ask to see any more of her writing. She shows them the undercover-movie-star short story, and Liz is all “Omg so creative! Where’d you get the idea?” and Maria’s like “oh, well, you know.”
Meanwhile, the Unicorns have a meeting to figure out what to do about the Maria thing. The decide that they can’t truly exploit her if she doesn’t know they all know, but if they tell her they know then it looks like Jessica spread the secret. So they start thinking of a subtle plan to get Maria to tell them herself. The “subtle” course of action goes out the window the second they decide on a game of truth or dare. Because asking “are you actually an undercover actress?” is so subtle.
At the sleepover, they begin the game and Maria is relieved that she doesn’t need to ask the rules - she played a scripted version in a horror movie once. I was going to mock her for this, but then I realised that I learnt the rules to most stereotypical teen games by watching TV shows with them, not by playing them (e.g. Spin the Bottle from Full House, and Seven Minutes in Heaven from Boy Meets World) so maybe it actually makes sense. When Janet orders the game to begin, Ellen adorably says “But I’m not finished braiding Lila’s hair!” Awww.
So once it’s Jess’s turn she asks Maria if she’s an undercover actress. How is this meant to let Jessica save face with Maria? How? Maria thinks “Meh, may as well have fun with this,” and is all “Why yes I am!” and makes up all this crap about how this supposed movie is also starring Melody Power and Johnny Buck, and says she’ll bring the Unicorns to set to meet them. Wow, that was a stupid move. Also, Melody Power and Johnny Buck are singers. If this move existed, it would probably be unbelievably bad. And there’s this creepy line when Maria tells Mandy “maybe you can pick up some acting pointers [at the set]” and Janet responds “maybe I can pick up some actors!”
The next day, Jess tells Liz about Maria being an undercover actress. Liz thinks “Hmm, sounds a lot like that story she’s writing. And didn’t Maria say she never writes about real life?” (she did, I just didn’t bother including it in that part of the recap). Liz thinks something is amiss, but she’s too busy feeling pleased with herself for vowing to be Maria’s friend, not her fan, to bother thinking too hard about it.
The next day, Maria is being fawned over by random students. Liz helps her to escape to the library, only to have some girl called Pamela fawn over Liz. As in, the narration says she “gazes admiringly” at her, and gushes about how nice she is and the way she dots her I’s. Because even when there’s a former child star who’s rumoured to be bff with Hollywood’s a-list, it’s still all about the Wakefields.
Later, Lila and Jessica are all “we’ve got Lila’s dad’s yacht for a party on Saturday! Bring the movie cast!”. Ruh roh! We’re also treated to this awesome scene where Jessica, Lila and Ellen are arguing about how to decorate the yacht. Lila is annoyed about purple crepe paper clashing with the apricot and puce interior decoration, and Ellen needs “apricot” explained to her.
Liz asks Jessica how she found out about Maria’s movie-star status and she admits to snooping and reading it in the notebook. In Liz’s mind, everything falls into place and she starts to tell Jess, but Jess is all “NO LECTURES NO LECTURES, LALALALALA!” and runs out of the room. Liz talks to Maria, who cries and admits she isn’t getting work anymore, and she’s scared she’s all washed up as an actress. There’s no mention of a shoulder pat, but I think we can be pretty sure it happens.
So the party rolls around. Jess has hung up a banner saying Welcome to Sweet Valley, America’s Most Typical Town! Ha, this banner is one of my new favourite things. And I’ve never been to America, so I’ve seen no proof that that’s not true. So everyone is wondering where all the famous stars are, and Maria shows up and does one of those big semi-impromptu speeches like in a movie, where the hero admits what they did wrong and tells the truth. After she’s finished, someone starts a slow clap. Seriously. And then everyone’s all “eh, whatever, Yacht Party!” All’s well that ends well, I suppose.
Thus ends the SVT recaps. And the final recapped image is a party on George Fowler’s yacht, decorated with purple crepe paper and a Welcome to Sweet Valley, America’s Most Typical Town! banner. Party on, SVT. Party on.