Sweet Valley High TV Series Original Soundtrack
ETA: Music video for "Rose Colored Glasses" UTC!!!
This "fantastic" Compact Disc is a work of karaoke-like brilliance. It consists of 14 songs (13 if you don't count the two different versions of the Sweet Valley Theme as different songs, which I most assuredly do, as both are stunning statments independent of one another) all of which were featured in the TV series, though it does not completely wrangle all the songs from the series (Vol. 2, people!).
The largest majority of the songs come from two sets of artists. The first is the (now) husband and wife team of Ron Wasserman (the man behind this work of television scoring genius) and Kathy Fisher (who is now the lead singer of the band Fisher which also features her husband). The second set is Rick Hromadka and whatever bozos he could round up. Sorry, Rick, your contributions pale drastically in comparison to the mighty morphin duo of Fisher and Wasserman.
The soundtrack opens with the full, un-edited version of the SV theme, and it is pure glory. Fisher belts out those memorable lyrics ("One thing you can be sure of is, you can be sure of nothing. . .") without even a hint of irony. The Cranberries-esque bridge rounds out this song in a way I never thought possible. We're off to a good start here.
Next, we get our first taste of Hromadka and Co. with "Lotion (Jessica's Theme)". It's a "funky" "rock" number that comes across a bit suggestive, if you ask me. But, then again, my mind is always in the gutter, and this is Jessica's Theme, afterall. . .Hromadka's vocals are kinda annoying, but I'll let it slide for now.
Time to cleanse the pallate, and what better way to do that than with what is possibly the best song in the whole collection, "Rose Colored Glasses". "Everything's amusing when you cover it in pink," sings Fisher. If that doesn't sum up SVH in one succinct line, I don't know what does.
"She's Got The Answers" is another "rocker" that falls flat on its face. B- for effort, Hromadka, and C for delivery. I've heard more convincing rock numbers from Creed.
Fisher and Wasserman stretch their stylistic boundaries a bit with the country-tinged "Not Myself Today". Not so bad. I mean, it's no "Rose Colored Glasses", but it gets the job done.
PJ Olsson makes his first appearance with "Alive" which sounds like something that might be on a solo album by a member of Duran Duran. With an Asian flair. But not as good.
Fisher and Wasserman step in to save the day again with the thoughtful ballad, "Rest of My Life". It's a really good song, though I'm sure it was used in some gushy scene with Liz and TBT, which kinda makes me hate it.
Hromadka offers up another winner with "My Jessica" which is a groover in 3/4 that. . .Ok, no. I'm done mentioning this guy. His songs suck. The only other one worth mentioning is "She Walks In Roses", and that's only because of the line, "after walking up and down those thighs", which is inspired genius.
The rest of the soundtrack continues with "All To Myself" (a ballad undoubtedly created for a scene with Jessica and some random boyfriend), the Gin Blossoms rip-off, "On Our Own" and one more song from PJ Olsson, "My World" which is like an outtake from a Fresh Prince album, but without DJ Jazzy Jeff's transformer beats to salvage it.
The final stop on this rollercoaster ride is the TV Version of the SVH theme. Starting and ending an album with the same song worked for Neil Young, right? I like the way you think Fisher/Wasserman.
And, for your viewing pleasure, the music video for "Rose Colored Glasses":
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