SVU # 54: Rush Week
Okay, so this takes place during the twins' sophomore year at SVU. The following characters are missing and presumed offed by Crazy William (or sent to a farm to live with Tragically Dead Deaf Regina and Zombie Olivia): Isabella (Lila Lite), Bryan (who is no longer with Nina), Winston, Bruce, Danny, Alison Quinn (YAY!), Tom Watts (mentioned by name only), Mike McCallery, Steven, and Billie (perhaps they've been banished to the Land of Nod with Todd's sisterbrother?), and our poor Lila is reduced to tertiary status at best. For the next 5 books (boo!). If you see any of these characters, please return them to Sweet Valley IMMEDIATELY. Bruce and Winston in particular are sorely missed. Lila, there's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you. You can keep Alison, Tom, Steven, and Billie. Replacing them are Sam (kinda like Devon only slightly less emo), Neil (Jessica's gay BFF and the only new character I approve of), Chloe (too annoying for words), and Chloe's new friend Val. FAIL, FRANCINE.
We open with Miss Chloe Murphy observing that the meanest girls all live in Oakley Hall. Chloe can't wait to get out of the dorm and move into Theta (where she's a legacy), because her roommate, Moira Pierce, has made Chloe's life a living hell. Because Chloe totally lied about a bunch of stuff and got called out. Chloe lied about being totally rich, and she also said that Tom Watts was her boyfriend. fyi, Tom is the star quarterback of the football team now. Who knew? The girls are really mean to Chloe, but she's so obnoxious that I totally understand why. More back story on Chloe here.
Anyway, Chloe's combing her hair out after her shower when a girl wearing fuzzy animal slippers compliments her hair (which is red, no doubt providing a fabulous contrast to her ice-blue eyes). Chloe's shocked that someone will even talk to her, so she introduces herself to Val. Val's kind of mousy and dorky (what with the animal slippers), but she's the only girl on the floor who has been nice to Chloe, so Chloe decides to take Val under her wing. And OMG, Val wants to rush Theta, too! Of course, Val wants to join Theta because of their commitment to children's charities, while Chloe had no idea that Theta was even involved in philanthropy. Chloe brags to Val that she's got "two really good friends in Theta." Um, yeah. She's kinda sorta acquaintances with Jessica, and Lila is civil to her because their families are kinda sorta friends, and because she was raised to be polite like that. Chloe's basically a starfucker when it comes to sorority girls. Not in a lesbian way, though. Anyway, Chloe decides that since she only has one friend, she better try to hold onto her. She offers to give Val a makeover to increase her chances of getting into Theta.
Denise is at the podium at the Theta house, announcing the new officers. Denise is the new president (she ran unopposed and has been doing it since the beginning of the year), AlexEnid is VP (again, unopposed. Also, her and Jess are friends now), Lila is treasurer, and Jess is pledge chairwoman. You guys, that job SUCKS. One of my friends was in charge of rush our senior year, and she was a total bitch the whole time. Thank God I was a recruitment counselor (calling it rush was a big no-no). Anyway, Pledge Chairwoman is such a pain in the ass. As demonstrated by the five girls that approach Jessica immediately after the announcement of her new position. There are complaints about rush events being held, people "putting in a good word" for a friend (HATE), etc. Jess is starting to wonder if this is such a great position after all.
Todd wakes up in his crappy apartment and trips over a pile of floral-print pillows. They were left by his ex-girlfriend and roommate Dana. Dana's the one who banged Tom Watts and cheated on Todd and totally flaunted it (someone mentioned it in the comments somewhere and I would LOVE to see that book recapped). Anyway, I think the break-up has hit Todd kinda hard, because he's totes off the deep end (more than usual). He's living way off campus and working at a townie bar named Frankie's. He's on a kick that he's "not a kid who mooched off his rich parents." He starts thinking about how he could man the apartment up-he could get a brown leather couch and monster stereo speakers-maybe even a water bed! Um, this was published in 2000. I don't know many people in the new millenium still hot for water beds. Just sayin'. Class it up a little, Todd, okay? How about a nice Tempurpedic?
Todd decides to go for a walk and runs into a few old classmates. They insult Todd by saying they were looking for cheap apartments and "slumming it," and Todd gets a superiority complex about how stupid and immature college kids are. Not like the awesome people he works with at the bar. This is already getting really old, and we have about 200 pages of rants like this to go.
Elizabeth is stalking casually strolling by the medical library when she hears someone calling her name. Why, it's Finn Robinson, med student, Abercrombie model, and potential Liz Wakefield suitor. Apparently they went on a date and Finn hasn't called her. Liz launches into this whole diatribe about how much she's been partying and all the hot guys she's met, and she throws in something about skinny dipping with frat guys. Yeah, she's totally lying. Elizabeth Wakefield drops trou for no man! Until she moves to England. Because Finn is a stupid boy, he gets all jealous and invites Liz over for dinner Friday night. He's making eggplant parmesan. Liz is thrilled. Me, not so much.
Jess is checking out her grade on her psych test, and is happy with a B- because the test was really hard. One of her sorority sisters comes up to her and says that she's heard Jessica won't discuss potential pledges with them (um, Panhellenic would prefer if you called them "potential members," okay, Min?). Jess basically tells her to STFU because she's determined to take her job seriously. Responsible Jess who cares about her grades and has morals scares me.
Chloe is waiting outside Jessica's communications class with a bouquet of calla lilies to congratulate Jess on being pledge chairwoman. Again, I hate to even attempt to expect SVU to follow the strict (and ridiculous) Panhellenic protocol, but potential members and actives aren't allowed to have contact during rush recruitment. Aside from at actual recruitment events, of course. Anyway, while Chloe's waiting she starts reminiscing about how she showed up at Sam's bedroom door in a raincoat and leopard print bra and panties. Except Elizabeth answered the door. How embarrassing! And also why you should call first. Chloe doesn't think Liz told Sam, though, as she's not the gossipy type. I'm surprised Liz didn't show up at Chloe's dorm room for a condescending shoulder pat and lecture on the virtues of chastity.
Chloe is snapped out of her reverie when Jessica's class lets out. She sees a group of three freshman girls descend upon Jessica like sorority girls on jungle juice. Chloe's all annoyed because these girls are so fake and obviously sucking up to Jessica. Jess says hi to Chloe, and Chloe starts to gush on and on about Theta. Jess is super polite, but then she's all, "oooh, late for a meeting that started five minutes ago." And Chloe yells, "Call you later!" She's so desperate, it actually embarrasses ME.
Jess bumps into Elizabeth while she's running away from the crazy freshmen, and the two of them decide to go to Yum-Yum's for a cappuccino. Worst. Name. Ever. It's pretty much the two of them recapping the last chapter, but Liz does let it slip that Neil organized a surprise party to celebrate Jess becoming pledge chairwoman (hereafter known as PC). Jess doesn't know if she'll be able to act surprised because she's been jaded by all the rush madness. But she's such a phenomenal actress!!! Don't let me down, Jess.
Chloe is continuing her tour of terror by heading over to Theta to write a congratulatory message on Lila's dry-erase board. Chloe bumps into Lila, and is confused since she's supposed to be in the meeting with Jessica. Chloe thinks that Jess bailed out because Chloe was bugging her, but quickly dismisses that thought. Jess was just trying to ditch the other three girls! Lila also brushes Chloe off, but Chloe knows it's because she has a meeting to go to. With Chloe's BFFs running Theta, she's a shoo-in! Chloe's so annoying. And dense. And oblivious.
Sam walks into the duplex and his breath is taken away by the sight of Elizabeth. She's wearing a slinky black dress and talking to Nina and Neil about her date with Finn. Sam walks in and is a total douche. He says, "So Huckleberry Finn finally called, huh?" Then he thinks, "Nice and obnoxious, just the way Sam liked to be." Ugh. He's such a tool. I think we're supposed to be all, "oooh, Dylan McCay, you're so anguished and tortured." But really it's more like, "Spencer Pratt?! WTF are you doing here?" Liz tells him to eff off, and as he's walking away Nina tells Sam that she's moving into the dorms (she was living in the basement or something. I don't know). Neil grouses about how he doesn't have any money and it was so nice to split the rent five ways, and Sam says he'll give him a loan. Oops! Sam's lying about how broke he is, because he's really a squillionaire. The doorbell saves him, and it's Finn! Wearing a black Armani jacket, Levi's, and loafers without socks. Is Finn a 55 year old balding man with a gut? He probably drives a red Vette, too. Liz and Finn leave, and Sam emos about it for a few minutes.
Jess is happy to be talking to people who aren't trying to use her for her mad rush skillz. She's pulled away when Chloe comes in, and Chloe's all wounded puppy because Jess didn't invite her to the party. Jess says she would have invited her, but it was a surprise party. Jess totally wouldn't have invited her. Chloe says, "I know you would have. After all, we're friends, aren't we?" Jess is like, "Mmmhmm, oooh, Nachos! BRB!" and runs off.
Elizabeth is thinking about how mature Finn is...he actually has silverware and cloth napkins! Bish, plz. In college I was happy if a guy could afford to take me to actual dinner instead of just using his meal card at the dorm. But then, Finn is a med student, not just a normal old undergrad. Finn made fab eggplant parmesan (this seems to be Finn's meal of choice when it comes to seducing young Elizabeth), and he even volunteers to do the dishes! OMG swoon! She closes her eyes, listening to a Beethoven symphony, and imagines her and Finn as a "major couple" living together. She even pictures her chocolate cookbook in the kitchen! Slow down, girl! Don't give it all up at once. Liz is so bizarre. And major couple just makes me think of Zack and Kelly.
Liz and Finn start making out (Finn smells like citrus aftershave, minty mouthwash, and Italian cuisine. Hawt), but Liz stops when Finn tries to unzip her dress. Nawty boy. He says he'll go slow, but then he starts acting really cold and being a total dick and trying to feed Liz cannolis (I don't know), and Liz feels guilty. Then Finn's like, "Oh, it's ten o'clock. Soooo tired...better get you home!" But he promises to call her early next week.
Sam's eating Liz's chocolate-swirl yogurt (euphemism?), pretending he's not waiting for Elizabeth to come home. Liz bitches Sam out for eating her yogurt, he mocks her for being home so early, she harasses him for not cleaning up after the party, and then Liz storms off to bed. Sam sits at the counter in the dark, eating frozen yogurt like he's PMSing.
Chloe's going through Val's closet, throwing most of her clothes into a big black garbage bag. She informs Val that none of her clothes are suitable for rush, and volunteers to let Val borrow some of her things.
Todd pulls his BMW into the parking lot of Frankie's, hoping that no one from the bar is around to see his car. Lest they think he's "some wimpy rich kid, driving his parents' cast-off luxury automobile." Todd, you're a prince among men, truly. Unfortunately for Todd, Ryan, the DJ, is parking his Harley at the same time. But Ryan already knows about Todd's beemer, because he saw it once and begged Todd to let him drive it. I mean, BMWs are nice and everything, but what's the BFD? It's not like Todd's driving a Maserati or something.
Todd and Ryan walk into the bar together while Todd gets a hard-on about wanting a motorcycle. It worked out so well last time. Todd tells Ryan that he wants to ask Rita if he can increase his hours. He's going to drop a few classes. My husband's best friend is a bartender, so I certainly don't look down on the profession. But who drops out of college to be a bar back?! Ryan asks Todd if he wants to take the Harley for a test drive, and Todd jumps at the chance. He feels the wind in his hair and thinks about how excited he is to rid himself of the burden of those extra classes. Todd's totally singing "Free Bird" right now.
Jessica's in the bookstore being accosted by Theta-wannabes. A cute guy from her communications class asks her to study, and Jess tells him she'll meet him at the library before the next quiz. She's on a self-imposed exile from dating so she can focus on studying and being PC. Jess takes her notebook to the register, and the girl asks which twin she is, because her roommate's rushing Theta. Jess quickly says that she's Liz, and the girl tries to give Jess the notebook for free, as long as "Liz" tells Jess to remember a freshman named Carmen. Jess refuses, and the girl's really put out and basically calls "Liz" a bitch. She's not wrong.
Val's going through Chloe's closet, and she says that she doesn't think Chloe has anything for her to borrow during rush. Chloe tells her to keep looking, and then she casually says that maybe Val shouldn't hang out with her fat schlumpy roommate Deena during rush week. There are no fat girls in sororities, you know. Val tells Chloe that she's mean and shallow, and she doesn't want to be a part of any group that will exclude based on her friends. Val's way too smart to be hanging out with Chloe. Chloe apologizes, then she suggests going shopping for rush clothes. Val says she doesn't have money, but Chloe's family is loaded, and her mom has been bitching that Chloe's not spending enough on clothes. I hated when my mom did that to me. She'd call me all the time like, "Why are you only spending my money on books and food and toiletries?! Buy yourself some Prada. And don't you need a little Gucci?" It was so hard on me. Anyway, Chloe tells Val that she'll pay for everything. Val's reluctant, but she finally gives in.
When Chloe and Val are shopping, Val starts to feel a little weird about Chloe paying for everything. Val's birthday was last month, so Chloe says that it'll be a belated birthday present. Chloe ends up buying Val a bunch of clothes, paying for a new haircut, makeup, shampoo and conditioner, and a hairbrush. Chloe is totally Val's Richard Gere.
Jessica's rush party is a big success. Some girl named Angela flags her down and asks if coconut is a real nut, because she's allergic to nuts, and a cookie has coconut in it, so she's not sure if it's safe. Jess is like, "Um, I'm not a doctor, but if you're not sure, maybe you shouldn't eat it?" The girl's all, "You're a GENIUS! Hey, meet this girl who wants to pledge." Poor Jess is in hell. On her way to the punch bowl, Moira Pierce (Chloe's "evil" roommate) stops her. Moira's really cool and impresses Jess.
She takes a few more steps, and two girls stop her. One girl says that it's the best rum punch she's ever had, and Jess is like, "Wow. Glad you liked it, but this is a campus function. And the drinking age is twenty-one in California. And you're a fucking idiot. TTYL!" The other girl compliments the music (Bob Marley), which segues into the spring break trip to the Caribbean the new student council president organized. The rum punch girl says, "Can you imagine if that gay guy had won? Where would we go?" And Bob Marley girl says, "Probably to some big gay resort."
She goes on to say, "Like I wanted to know about Neil Martin's sex life. So, Jess, did you vote for Chip or Jenny?" Jess is like, "Um, that 'gay guy' is my BFF and I was his campaign manager." Pwn3d!1!!1 The girls get really bitchy with Jess and ask if she's going to black ball them for "dissing" her best friend. Jess is all, "Yeah, you bitches are prejudiced. GTFO." Poor Jess. Don't let the haters get you down!
Todd's meeting with Rita (the manager of Frankie's) at a diner to talk about increasing his hours. Rita orders a coffee for herself and Todd. Todd hilariously thinks that he'd rather have a ginger ale, but he wants Rita to know how mature he is. Snorffle! Todd totally wants a shirley temple. Rita says that she can increase Todd's hours, and asks if he can fill in that night. Todd was planning on studying for his marketing test, but he wants Rita to know how dedicated he is, so he orders cheesecake to celebrate. I don't know. I think I missed a step in there somewhere.
Nina's walking to her dorm, thinking about how she's kind of lonely, when she runs into a girl named Francesca from her economics class. She asks if she can borrow Nina's notes because she missed class for a party. Nina hesitates because she needs her notes for the test (which Francesca knew nothing about), but then she gives in. Francesca asks Nina to go to Starlights to listen to a band named Wired that night. Nina says no, but then changes her mind. She'll just stay out for an hour or two and be home in time for a good night's sleep before her 8 am class. Oh, I've been there. Sigma Chi. Derby Days. 1999. Didn't make it to L204. I still got an A, though. Because that's just how I roll.
Chloe and Val are at the Theta rush party, talking to two senior Thetas named Jody and Danielle. Then there's either a typo or a miraculously appearing senior, because a girl named Lisa comes up and they start talking about books. Val mentions Jane Austen and Chloe gets all embarassed because Val doesn't like popular literature. Then Lisa disappears and "the three of them [Jody, Danielle, and Val]" talk about Pride and Prejudice. Chloe just stands there until she sees Jess. Val and Jess start talking about Red Hot (Jessica's favorite band), and Jess says that she was looking forward to their concert, but it's sold out. Chloe's like, "Hey, guess what I'm looking forward to? Yeah, being a Theta. It's going to be super awesome!" Jess thinks that Chloe's really brazen to assume she's getting a bid. Chloe thinks that Jess thinks Chloe's being insincere, so she goes on to say that she and Val aren't rushing any other sororities. Jess says that might not be a good idea, and Chloe says, "Yeah, maybe not for Val." Jess finally tells Chloe that everyone votes on who gets in, not just Jess, then she bolts for the restroom.
Liz is trying to make the phone ring, but doesn't think Finn will call because Liz won't put out. The phone rings and it's Neil's friend Dave. Liz is bummed. I don't know what the point of this whole passage was.
Nina's rocking out with Francesca, getting hit on by guys right and left. Francesca tells her that it's one in the morning, and Nina figures she might as well stay out since she's already going to be tired tomorrow. Oh, Nina. It's a slippery slope, my friend.
Chloe meets some guy named Ralph and tells him her name is Desiree. She buys some tickets to the Red Hot concert from him. Chloe, bribery would totally have worked to get you into PBA, but Jessica's got morals now. You'll have to get into Theta based on your sparkling personality instead. Good luck with that.
Jess and Liz are walking into the duplex, and Jess is telling Liz that a friend of hers might be able to give her two tickets to the concert (she's thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend). Liz is ignoring her and thinking about Finn. She hits the answering machine, and Finn called! He wants to go to dinner with her that night. Jess tells her she shouldn't go (doesn't she read Cosmo?), because you should never accept a date with a guy for the night he calls. Liz thinks that she and Finn are in a mature relationship and she doesn't need to resort to games to keep him interested. Liz needs someone to just smack the shit out of her.
Todd's walking across campus wondering how he could have gotten a D on his marketing test! Even though he studied! For thirty minutes the morning of the test while he watched ESPN! I hear that's the method they encourage at MIT. In his reverie he runs into a cute girl who's lost. Todd decides to walk her to class, thinking that he'll finally be able to forget about Dana.
The girl's name is Lucy, and she's in the same marketing class as Todd (but not the same section). She didn't do well on the test either! Maybe they can exchange study methods! They get to Davis Hall (where the girl's class is) and Todd asks for Lucy's number, then asks her to go out Thursday. It's his one night off and he was planning on studying for marketing, but why study when you can get some?
Chloe shows up at the duplex, and Liz tells her that she didn't tell Sam or Jess about Chloe showing up at the door like a character in a teen comedy. Jess is less than thrilled to see Chloe, and doesn't do much to mask it. Chloe is oblivious (that should really have been the title of this book) and gives Jess the front-row tickets to the concert. She says that her mom got them for her (as a good luck present for rushing Theta. Since it's important to her mom. Because Chloe's a legacy. Has she mentioned that yet? No? Well, she is. A legacy.), but she can't go that night. Jess tells Chloe that she made plans the night of the concert and can't take the tickets. Chloe leaves, and Liz tells Jess she thought Jess would sell her soul for tickets to the Red Hot concert. Jess tells Liz that's exactly what Chloe wanted her to do, and Liz is impressed with Jess's new moral compass. Again, it scares me. Liz reluctantly goes upstairs to get ready for her date, thinking that since Finn knows she's not ready to get bizz-ay he'll respect her wishes. Yeah, most college guys are soooo willing to do that. Not to generalize...
Moira walks into the dorm room and calls Chloe "Cody" (from the message Tom Watts left her). The girls make fun of Chloe for a while until Val comes into the room. Moira's really nice to Val, and Chloe's shocked. When Moira and her friends leave, Chloe starts to get a little worried because Val has "in-crowd" potential, and Chloe doesn't want Val to ditch her. Chloe asks Val to the Red Hot concert, and Val's super excited. Val asks what she should wear, and Chloe likes the outfit Val has on, except for the shoes. She offers to buy Val new shoes, and Val firmly says no.
Nina falls asleep in biology class and decides to go home and take a nap before her job as a research assistant at the lab. She wakes up when someone knocks on the door and sees that it's 9:30 at night. She missed all her classes and her job! That's what happens when the inexperienced partiers try to hang with the vets.
Liz and Finn walk into Finn's apartment after dinner, and Liz is immediately nervous. Apparently Finn has a new CD he wants to play her. I don't know why he couldn't bring it in his super awesome doctor-mobile. Maybe because he wants to feel Liz up on his mature doctor couch? He turns the CD on, and the song "Someone to Watch Over Me" starts to play. This is the CD he wanted to play for her? How transparent. To anyone but Liz. Finn pulls Liz up and they slow dance in his living room. Liz opens her mouth to protest when he pulls her close, but he captures her mouth with his own. Gross. That always makes me think of fishing for some reason.
Elizabeth is floating on a billowy cloud in paradise. I just picture Olivia Newton John in Xanadu for some reason. She's so busy floating around that she doesn't notice Finn has danced her to his bedroom door and is unzipping her dress. She tells him that she still wants to take things slow, and he apologizes and says that he can's resist her, and he's lost in her eyes. Nice Hammer pants, Debbie! Anyway, Liz wonders how long Finn will stay with her if she won't ride the baloney pony. Then she starts to think that she desperately wants him. What's a girl to do?
Chloe's making Val get a manicure, and Val's telling Chloe that she can't keep buying stuff for her. Chloe gets annoyed and starts reading a magazine, then she sees two Thetas named Candace and Angela. They're talking about the Red Hot concert, and Chloe tells them that her and Val have front-row seats, but they can't make it to the concert. She gives them the tickets after she tells some lame story about it being Val's grandma's 80th birthday. After the girls leave, Val bitches Chloe out, but Chloe convinces Val that she did it for their own good. Val doormats and forgives Chloe. This is a recurring theme.
Nine and Francesca are studying in the library for their econ test. Nina's thinking about how she kind of lied to her boss (she said that she wasn't feeling well and took a nap after class). Her boss let her off the hook on the condition that it never happens again. Nina's getting kind of annoyed with Francesca, who keeps talking loudly and is taking forever to copy Nina's notes. Francesca finally gets Nina to take a quick iced tea break. Nina's so going to fail econ.
Jessica sees Chloe and Val at the next rush party. Chloe's talking animatedly and is oblivious (shocking!) to the fact that the Thetas she's speaking to (including Lila and Denise) are thoroughly annoyed with her. Chloe reminds the girls AGAIN that she's a legacy. Jess walks up and tries to change the subject by asking where Chloe's dress is from. It's from Anna Paglino's new collection. Anna's the hottest new designer on the West Coast. Chloe launches into some story about what good friends "Annie" and her mom are, and how they're going to Paris together on her daddy's jet. Chloe says that Anna's launching a new line of linens and she could get linens for the Theta house. Jess is getting really frustrated, and at that moment someone says, "Hey, aren't you that girl who lied and said Tom Watts was your boyfriend?" Jess feels bad for Chloe and jumps in, saying that Tom led Chloe on and Chloe didn't lie about anything. Then she directs everyone to the dessert table. Chloe grabs Jessica's arm and says, "Thanks, sis!" Jess decides she'll have to kill Chloe. I kinda hope it's slow and painful. Homegirl's got issues.
Jess and Liz are wrapping an anniversary gift for their parents. Ned and Alice aren't even mentioned by name! They deserve better...they've been such awesome, involved parents! Jess bought them an ice cream maker, and Liz says that Ned's supposed to watch his diet. Bullshit! Ned's got the body of a twenty year old boy! This book is blasphemous! Liz somehow segues her father's fictitious health issues into her issues with Finn. Jess tells Liz that not sleeping with a guy is the best way to keep him interested, and Liz says that Finn is a MAN and men don't like games. She's so right. What would Jessica know about sleeping with a real man? Sam walks into the kitchen while Liz is saying something about being a virgin, and Liz is worried he overheard.
Lucy and Todd are eating Japanese, and Lucy is telling Todd about the rush party she was at. They served tea on a set of bone china that once belonged to the royal family! Bull.Shit. They served tea on a set of bone china that alumnae donated. Todd tells Lucy that Greek life isn't all it's cracked up to be. Real people...like the people he works with...worry about more than homecoming and rush parties. He tells her that he works at Frankie's, and she's like, "Gross, you work at a townie bar? Why don't you work at a cool bar like Starlights?" He tells her that he might take a semester off and work full-time, and Lucy's all grossed out and is like, "Ewwww, then YOU'LL be a townie!!!" Todd thinks that she's a snob and he can't wait for the date to be over. Todd's so sanctimonious. YOU WORK IN A BAR. THIS ISN'T THE REAL WORLD. IN THE REAL WORLD PEOPLE WORK IN OFFICES OR SCHOOLS OR FACTORIES OR STORES. Again, I have many friends that work in bars, but they all say that it's a weird life and very dissimilar to any other profession due to the hours, clientele, etc.
Chloe knocks on Val's door and her roommate, Deena, answers. Val wakes up and asks Chloe what's wrong. Chloe looks at Val's quilted pink robe and thinks that once they're Thetas they'll need to work on Val's pajama wardrobe as well. Bish plz. Sorority girls are no different than other college students. They wear sweatpants and stained tee shirts. Their tee shirts just happen to have sorority letters on them. Chloe angsts to Val about whether or not they'll get into Theta. Val tries to reassure her, and Chloe feels guilty because she was trying to distance herself from Val at the last two rush parties. What a bitch. Chloe doesn't deserve your friendship, Val! Chloe tells Val that she hopes Val didn't think she was trying to ditch her at the last two parties. Val's like, "Hmm, that pretty much means you were, doesn't it?" Chloe says that she just doesn't want Theta to think that they're a package deal, and Val gets kind of pissed and says, "Yeah, so if they don't want me, they can still take you." Chloe says that they'll both get in, and the girls go to bed.
The Thetas are voting on pledges after the party, and Chloe's name is up. There's a big debate about her, and Candace and Angela say that she tried to bribe them with Red Hot tickets. It's looking like Chloe's going to be a no, so Jessica speaks up and tries to say that Chloe's not that different than the Thetas were when they were freshman. Lila says that she's like the Little Engine that Could, and Chloe's spunk can be developed maturely. Denise decides that Chloe's a special case who will get a special vote. They're going to test her to see if she's really Theta material.
Chloe wakes up on Bid Day and immediately starts thinking about whether or not she'll be a Theta. She thinks about how she lied about how close her mom and "Annie" are. Mrs. Murphy and Anna were seated in the same row in first class on a flight to Paris, and they talked the whole time. Chloe starts worrying about how she'll get the girls Anna Paglino linens, but she pushes the thoughts out of her head and convinces herself she'll get a bid.
Jessica wakes up early to get ready for Operation Chloe and runs into Elizabeth in the hall. Liz says that she talked on the phone to Finn for an hour the night before-not about sex, though. Liz observes that she told Finn about her relationship with Tom and Todd, and Finn totally understood why the relationships didn't work. Jess says it's obvious. They're both boring! Liz tells Jess they're going out that night, and Jess asks if they're going to do "it." Liz blushes and says she doesn't know, and Jess tells her to be careful and not get her heart broken. Elizabeth asks Jessica if Chloe got in, and Jess says that it's up to Chloe now.
Chloe's headed down to breakfast when she runs into Jessica. She thinks it's a little weird and notices that Jess is acting kind of shifty. Jess asks her to go to Patrio's, and Chloe thinks that she wants to take her to a more private, expensive place than the cafeteria so no one will see her cry when Jess tells her she didn't get in. Sorry, that was a hella run-on sentence.
Todd wakes up in Ryan's apartment, tired and hungover. After his crappy date he went to Frankie's and spent the evening drinking beers, playing darts, and listening to Dave Matthews. Ugh. I know I'm in the minority, but Dave Matthews makes me want to kick puppies. Todd realizes that if he doesn't get home soon he'll miss his morning class. But he doesn't think it's a big deal, because he has a job and he's an adult now.
Jess and Chloe walk into Patrio's and magically run into Denise, Lila, and Alexandra. Lila suggests Chloe and Jess join them, and Chloe looks hesitant for a second, but then she takes the bait. The four Thetas order tons and tons of food, and Jess wonders if Chloe finds it all suspicious. Chloe zones out for most of the meal and doesn't really participate in the conversation. When the bill comes, Jessica realizes she "forgot" her money. Chloe tells her that she'll cover for them. One by one, the other three girls say that they've also forgotten/lost their wallets. Chloe says that she'll pay for them all...she'll do anything for the Thetas. Denise is like, "Anything?"
Nina's taking her econ test, and she thinks that she'll probably be able to squeak by with a B-. She wants to be more like Francesca and stop sweating the small stuff. Don't settle for mediocrity, Nina!
At breakfast, Chloe's confirming that she will, indeed, do anything for the Thetas. ESPECIALLY if she becomes a sister. Denise is like, "Even with the shitty condition our house is in?" And Lila says, "Yeah, Chloe, you must've noticed...it's a shit hole and it's falling apart!" The girls start talking about how it's really just the furniture, but it's just too expensive for the Theta budget. Alex tells Chloe that the couch they've been looking at would be great with Chloe's coloring, and Lila says, "IF you were a Theta." Chloe realizes that if she wants to be a Theta, she'll have to buy her way in. She knows that Lila's got money coming out her ears, but she'd never waste her money on furniture for the house. The girls must think she's pathetic and desperate (think, know, let's not split hairs). Chloe says that she wanted to be a Theta more than anything in the world, because she is a Theta inside and out. She tells the girls that she looks up to them, and then she runs out of the restaurant crying.
Jessica's standing outside Chloe's dorm, watching all the girls go to their mailboxes and look for bids. She sees Val, holding a Theta bid, looking at Chloe's empty mailbox. Jessica knows that Val's waiting for a bid to appear, but thinks that there won't be a bid appearing in Chloe's mailbox.
Elizabeth is studying, but really she's thinking about teh sex. She's snapped out of her angsting when Sam comes home. He turns the TV on loudly, and they get in a little spat about how he needs to turn it down, and Liz needs to study upstairs, blah blah blah. The whole exchange ends with Liz storming upstairs and thinking about Finn.
Chloe's laying on her bed, listening to the girls in the hallway yelling about their bids. She starts crying, and then she hears a knock on the door. Jessica comes into her room, and Chloe asks her to leave. Jessica hands her an envelope, and when she opens it she finds a bid. Jess tells Chloe that she passed the test, and that her sucking up wasn't necessary. She tells Chloe to just be herself, and Chloe jumps up, hugs Jess, and runs off to find Val. The moral of this story, boys and girls, is not to be full of shit.