SVU Thriller Edition #7: What Winston Saw
The blurb starts off with, "Winston Egbert wishes he'd never been tempted by sexy Amanda Franklin's long legs and sophisticated ways [...] but Amanda saw something horrible from the bedroom window that night,” though those with an attention span of more than a mere two seconds will recall the title of this book is What Winston Saw. Lies, all lies. Unless Amanda is Winston! What a twist that would be! And all that sophisticated talk and legs? Well, let's just say his time in the female dorms brought out another side to Winston. Ghostwriter, why have you forsaken us?
Small details, really. The actual book starts off with Winston missing his girlfriend, Denise, who’s housesitting for her aunt. He laments she may as well be as far away as Siberia, which makes me think Ghostwriter picked a random place on his Almanac of Human Destinations on the Planet of the Earth which is surprisingly more research than is expected of the average Ghostwriter. +5 points for inventiveness! Winston, sadly, doesn't realise the telephone network means it's possible for her to contact him in either location; and her aunt's house is actually at the beach, which means that she's, you know, in the same town; but again, small details! It's those little things.
He stares at a photo of Denise and attempts to communicate telepathically with her (I wish I was making this up, but alas, no) but before he can direct his attention towards her, Dean Franklin interrupts him and introduces him to his wife, Mrs Dean "just call me Amanda" Franklin. She's a blonde, and if the Sweet Valley series have taught my brunette self anything, it's that blondes are trustworthy and loyal companions, and unless a brunette is rich, she's a dirty, dirty whore. Winston stares at Amanda for a while, and Dean Franklin grins like an idiot from ear to ear at the sight of Winston drooling over wifey. I guess dorky men are doing it for themselves?
Dean Franklin goes back to his office to make a phone call - hang on, weren't you about to go to dinner with your wife? Whatever, details - and Winston, probably realising telepathy isn't easy to master (giving up after three minutes?), calls Denise and leaves a message on her machine. Amanda calls Winston out on making personal calls during working hours, and Winston lies saying he was just checking on his girlfriend, who's home sick with the flu. Amanda asks why he left a message on the machine, if she's supposedly sick in bed, and Winston is all, "um, whaaaa?" Ha! Thwarted by blondie!
Amanda, still blonde but possibly not as loyal as we've been lead to believe, picks up Denise's photo and comments on the pretty name. Notice she doesn't say anything about looks. She starts flirting with Winston, which makes him understandably uneasy, since his boss is right behind the door. Good God woman, show some tact. It takes him all of three seconds to conclude Amanda is "gorgeous and sophisticated" and such women "[don't] throw themselves at size-12 feet." I think the conclusion is bringing down the rest of your reasoning, Winston.
Meanwhile, somewhere that regrettably isn't Siberia, (or even outside of Sweet Valley) Denise is listening to Jessica’s shopping adventure (Jessica haggles with Knock-Off Channel Guy and buys a suit for $25) when Bruce Patman walks in. Denise leaves the group and has a nauseating conversation with Bruce, when Winston walks in. She gets rid of Winston, intending to spend more time with Bruce, and I really feel for the guy. Denise is pretty cool on her own but the Denise/Bruce pairing is just creepy, and Winston has always been rather sidelined despite being the comic relief. Denise spends a couple of pages wondering if she should leave Winston soon, but decides to wait until Wednesday because she has a bio exam and doesn’t want to have too much on her mind. Someone has her priorities in check.
Suddenly, it's Tuesday morning! Can you feel the tension?! Denise's plan is in motion! Winston's bummed at breakfast, when Jessica runs into him. There isn't anything notable about this conversation except when Jessica is asked what she thinks of Bruce, she says, "he's [...] a victim of a tragic love affair with himself." Couldn't agree more, Jess. I guess it takes one sociopath to understand another.
Cut to Winston at work. Dean Franklin invites him to a party for the university trustees, and Winston’s internal dialogue reasons this will be the party to save him and Denise, because she'll be Impressed that he’s a Big Man. There's a part of me that wishes young kids wouldn't take this too seriously, it's a sad thought that one party will save a relationship that clearly has underlying issues, and kids reading this are impressionable. Then again the current generation of kids probably can't read something that isn't a magazine; but I won't get into this here. Winston goes over to Denise's and invites her and she's all, "you idiot I have to study tomorrow for a big test and anyway you've only given me two hours notice for a huge party! What kind of person are you! Get out!" Winston, understandably, is bummed. Cue emo Winston.
Meanwhile, Jessica bursts in on Elizabeth getting ready for the party. No, she's not going with Winston as a friend, though that would've been a nice tie-in, wouldn't it? You fail Ghostwriter. She's actually taking Tom’s place. There isn't much that goes on in this conversation either but this gem of a passage takes place:
"There's no crime in talking to someone else," Elizabeth answered rationally, buttoning up her suit jacket.
"She was undoing his tie, Liz."
Elizabeth paused for a moment. It was pretty damaging evidence.
Smart cookie this one. Nothing gets past Liz! Somehow Elizabeth manages to function ('inhale, exhale') long enough to make her way to Winston, where they "accidentally" see Bruce and Denise laughing together. There's a lot of stalking in Sweet Valley, has anyone noticed? It's a bit disturbing, I suspect walking down any road in Sweet Valley, you'd come across pairs of eyes lurking in every shrub.
Elizabeth and Winston make their way to the party, and Elizabeth starts talking to "Arthur Rubble IV, heir to the Rubble bubble gum fortune." Did his family pick the bubble gum industry because of their name? Arthur is described as being, "round, soft, and pink, much like the gooey substance."
Therefore, I conclude Arthur =
I really want to go to this party.
Elizabeth, stalking of course, sees Winston sitting down on the other side of the room. She's about to make her way up to him when Amanda the possible whore slides next to him. She's wearing a "low-cut, aqua-colored evening gown with silver sequin trim and a high slit that showed off her long legs." Sadly, the dress doesn't show off her sophistication. Or maybe that's what the low-cut part is for. This is Sweet Valley after all, and if we've learned anything it's that appearances really are skin deep. Elizabeth hides behind the leaves and peers through them (pairs of eyes behind the shrubs I tell you!) and glares at Amanda, who we know by her choice of wardrobe, is a dirty, dirty whore. Initiate countdown to Teh Sex.
Amanda offers Winston a glass of champagne, and while it's not Magical Vodka it does what it's supposed to do and our Poor Valiant Hero comes under the spell of the Dirty, Dirty Whore. Winston follows her out to the garden where she starts to seduce him, but Winston comes to his senses. Before he runs away, she looks at him with her brown eyes and claims she'll see him again. You just know Ghostwriter is being forced by Francine Pascal to imply that since Amanda has brown eyes, and not blue-green, the exact shade of the Pacific Ocean, that she's evil. Because, you know, only blue-eyed blondes are inherently good. Not that that should remind you of anything.
Winston meets up with Elizabeth (who surprisingly couldn't find a tree to lurk behind and watch Winston from afar). They leave the party only to go their separate ways, and Winston returns all alone to his dorm. Until there's a knock on the door, that is. He opens it, and who should be there but that evil brown-eyed slut! Hey there Amanda. Seriously, warning bells should be going off in Winston's head right now but instead, "white-hot fire surged inside Winston" and they have Teh Sex. Take that Denise!
Meanwhile, turning to the scum of society...
It's always amusing how extreme the bad guys are painted. We meet Jackson, who we just know is an oh-so-terrible person because he uses bad grammar, has never been to college, and likes bars. He also calls his car Baby and uses his thumb to light matches. This man is pure evil! He's lurking behind the bushes (the shrubs have eyes!) and sees Elizabeth and Tom walking across campus. He realises that Elizabeth looks a lot like Gina, the girl he was supposed to marry. Does anyone not look like Elizabeth in this series? Ever? Jackson isn't like Crazy Margo, Crazy Nora or Racist Serial Killer William White. Not even a little bit. Jackson is rational psycho because it takes him a split second to rationalise that although Elizabeth looks like Gina, she actually isn't. Give this psycho a gold star.
Rational Psycho Jackson remembers the night he hid behind the shrubs at Gina's house - it was one of many such shrub-hiding nights, you see - and watched as good ole Gina did the deed and cashed in her v-card to that loser Benny Stevenson on her front porch. Classy. Feeling betrayed by this tramp, he raced out to her after Benny left and was all, "you bitch! You're tainted! Tainted I tells you! You should've slept with me!" and Gina is all, "what? We're just friends dude." While Jackson is Rational, he's still a Psycho, and he ends up slitting her throat. After some emo thoughts, he decides he'll go killing girls that have he sees as "tainted". Jackson, you Rational Psycho, you're going to find lots of potential victims in college, but ironically, Elizabeth is not one of them.
On the other side of the bushes, Elizabeth and Tom share A Moment. Elizabeth insists on walking alone back to her dorm, because street lights = maximum safety, and it's not like SVU has ever been unsafe before. Tom seems to agree with Elizabeth - seriously, how did these people get into college? - and heads off to his place as Elizabeth walks back to hers. But what is that rustling?! Rational Psycho Jackson appears out of the shadows and attacks our dear Elizabeth! She bites down on his hand and wonders if she'll get away...
... At this point, several floors up
It turns out that Winston didn't have Teh Sex with Amanda. Instead, he ran away from her and hid in his bathroom. As you do. He's being all emo at this point, wondering if she's still there, when finally he decides to get out of the bathroom. He sees her standing there at the window and at first he's all, "why are you still here!" but then he notices her leaning out of the window, and he's all "dammit I should've slept with you! Don't die because of me!" and he grabs her. We get a quick jump cut to Jackson, who sees Amanda looking at him from the window, and he's all, "shit!" and runs away.
Back in Winston's room, Winston grabs Amanda and pulls her back from the window, and Amanda's like, "wtf are you doing let go!" She tells him she saw a girl being attacked, but as soon as the attacker saw Amanda the girl ran away. And so did the psycho attacker, but hopefully in different directions. Winston tells Amanda they should call the police but she tells him they can't, because they won't be able to explain why she's in his room. There's a mention of Amanda's brown eyes (the evil!) looking at Winston. She's not like those pacific-blue eyed girls. She and Winston agree not to tell anyone, and she leaves. Winston is troubled.
Across campus, Elizabeth is at her place with Jessica, upset over the attack. You'd think she'd be use to it by now. Jessica tries to get Liz to describe him but because he attacked her from behind, all Liz can say is he's Southern. Those wicked, immoral confederates! Jessica asks, politely, why Liz isn't dead yet and Liz replies someone must've seen them, because he suddenly took off. Liz gets all righteous at this point, exclaiming, "no one came to see if I was all right [...] no one called the cops. Don't you think that if someone had seen what happened, they would've done something?" Morals and ethics? In my Sweet Valley? Jess tells her not to worry, whoever stopped the attack was a moron because they didn't check up on Liz after. You're right, Jess, but not because they stopped the attack. Jess calls the cops, who must be on their speed dial by now.
SV COPS =
Winston is back at work, but still troubled. He hid out most of the morning (Wednesday morning! tension!) in the hallway by the filing cabinets. He's been doing a lot of hiding lately. Poor Winston, he's called into Dean Franklin's office. The Dean takes his time asking Winston if he enjoyed himself at the party, and all Winston can do is gulp, swallow, and agonize. He tells the Dean he enjoyed himself, and the Dean seizes the opportunity to remind Winston he saw him spend considerable time with Amanda, who told her husband she had a great time with Winston. At this point Winston is about to implode from being so emo, when the Dean reminds Winston that it was a party for the trustees (who may or may not all be shaped like bubblegum), not his wife, and Winston, dammit, should've spent more time with them. How could he make a fool of the Dean like that?! Winston is completely relieved Amanda didn't talk about teh-almost-sex, and practically breaks down apologising, but the Dean's all, "dude, don't take it so hard, just say hi to the bubblegum people next time." Winston leaves the office on an errand, and who should he run into but Denise.
Denise races after Winston, who won't stop for her. She practically tackles Winston in a hug and tries to kiss him, but he's stiff. Ghostwriter wants us to feel tension: it's Wednesday morning, after all, when the secret deal between Bruce and Denise is going down. Why can't Lila be here? Bruce is unbearable without her. Denise keeps trying to kiss Winston, who doesn't want to kiss or talk, and I get the feeling Denise has turned into a five-year-old clutching at her mother's legs, trailing every step. He asks about her exam, but doesn't tell her he saw her and Bruce on his way to the party. She tells him she did well and that she'd like to go somewhere to talk, but Winston's got other things on his mind. He steps away from her, and Denise looks pissed. Bitch, please. Winston walks away.
Which brings us to Amanda In Real Clothes. She stops by Winston's dorm, yet again, and surprise, surprise, Winston is there. Hey, didn't you have an errand to run for Dean Franklin, Winnie? So many details to keep track of. Winston gets a bit upset before he shows Amanda a newspaper. A blonde waitress was murdered at a bar, and Winston naturally concludes Evil Attacker On Campus is the same guy who killed Woman Off Campus. Winston reasons the attacker must've fled as soon as Amanda saw him to the nearest place that was still open, for more attacking. Winston's clearly been watching the discovery channel or has a secret profiling hobby we've only just found out about. He tries to get Amanda to call the cops, but she reminds him no one should know they were "together." They could just make up some story about Winston leaving his wallet at the party, Amanda stopping by to give it to him, and Winston - being a gracious and polite host - letting her into his dorm at which point she sees the attacker, but no, we're in Sweet Valley and the rules of Earth logic do not apply.
Amanda spiels about her life together with Dean Franklin, how much she loves him, blah blah blah - all I read is, "I'm a cheating dirty, dirty whore wearing a low-cut silk blouse and mini-skirt, ready for some sexing." Winston sees it too, because he won't give up. He's got morals. He picks up the phone and starts dialing the police, and Amanda screams at Winston. He tells her his plan: she'll tell him every detail she saw last night, and he'll relay it to the police as if he was the witness. No one has to know Amanda was in his dorm last night. Amanda and Winston are very happy with this plan. Because false witnesses always work out so well in the movies.
While plans of fake accounts are being plotted, Elizabeth is hanging out with Detectives Wiggum and Lou at the police station. I mean, Reese and Martin. Elizabeth tells them she was almost attacked, didn't see the guy, doesn't know what he was after, where he went, or anything, really. But he's Southern, you know, with that little drawl, and possibly likes lemonade because all Southern people are into that sorta thing. He might even - gasp - have a black person stashed somewhere in his car, awaiting plantation duties. Those darn Southerners! Reese and Martin sit on their parallel metal desks and glare at Liz. "That's great blondie, so uh, what did he look like, did you see anyone else in that area, do you have anything helpful to tell us?" Such great detective work there. Elizabeth mentions seeing Winston, but he can't be a suspect, and detective Martin's like, "I'll be the judge of that!" He does take that comment a little too personally. Maybe there's something dark lurking in Martin's past, like a recent suspension or drug bust gone wrong. Such hardened, seasoned detectives. Jessica yells at them but they don't listen because someone races into the office. We've got a witness you guys!
So naturally Reese and Martin desert Elizabeth at the police station. Why bother talking to the victim? They visit Winston at his dorm, who's playing a very gracious host indeed. They ask for coffee but Winston tells them he's given up coffee, it makes him "jumpy". Reese doesn't appreciate caffeine can affect some people badly, and immediately takes a disliking to Winston. Our possibly hardened Detective Martin starts taking measurements of the window (why? is there a 'witness one attack, get free vertical blinds sale' over at home depot?) Apparently it's not enough to see the scene from the window. Winston should be fully prepared for their questions but he freaks out as soon as Reese asks if Winston was alone last night. "Yes! Completely alone! By myself! No one of any kind was here except me!" Then he spots two coffee cups Amanda brought over that morning for their scheming get-together. The cups are on his bureau, and Reese is very close to them. One false move, coffee and lukewarm moral justice will come tumbling down. Winston is too smart for Reese, though, and distracts him all the while quickly hiding the coffee in a drawer. Martin, still taking measurements of the window, doesn't see a thing.
A while later, Winston is at work when Reese and Martin ask him to come down to the station. It can't wait, so Winston lies and tells Dean Franklin he's feeling sick, needs to rest, and will probably come back to work in an hour or two. Dean Franklin is really nice about it, which makes Winston even more uneasy. Down at the station, Winston is told the police have a line-up ready for Winston to identify the witness. He freaks out because he only has a general idea of the attacker: "Caucasian, tall, over six-feet [...] lean but muscular build [...] brown hair." There's some talk about a possible tattoo on the right forearm, but it could've been a smudge of dirt or shadows. It's really not much to go on, so he tells Martin he needs to make a quick phone call to his girlfriend as she's expecting him for lunch. He calls Amanda and is like, "bitch, our devious plotting in my dorm failed, get here NOW," which doesn't work on her because she's all, "don't call me at home, are you crazy? This was your brilliant plan, deal with it!" and hangs up on him. All the while, Martin's watching Winston closely and you know the detective is thinking, "and I thought I had problems." Winston cracks a weak joke about the importance of lunch, and they head into the witness area of the lineup room.
Winston squints, gulps, swallows, sweats and practically faints as the lights turn on in the lineup area. The suspects are told to face the front and Winston examines each one carefully using the description Amanda gave him. They're all over six feet, and "lean but muscular build" seems to apply to all of them, as does brown hair. He forgets about the tattoo and has trouble distinguishing their facial features, thinking they all look similar. He scrutinizes each person, waiting for something to give them away. He could've just said he's sorry, it could be any one of them, it was too dark, he doesn't remember, but Winston wants to be A Man. One of the suspects must've been chewing gum or something, because Winston notices a twitch in their cheek, and decides that's a nervous tick. Guilty! Winston tells Martin that's the guy.
Martin and Reese look at each other and ask the man Winston picked out to step forward. They ask Winston to take a good look at the guy, to make sure he's the person Winston saw. Winston says there's no doubt, that's their man. The cheek's still twitching, so Winston's feeling really good about this. Martin tells the lineup they can go, and Winston freaks out. Winston picked out a police officer. Drat!
Elizabeth is waiting outside the identification room. She had looked at the lineup earlier that morning, and wasn't able to pick anyone out. The detectives had told her the witness was going to try and pick a suspect out, so Elizabeth came by to thank them. She's wondering what's taking so long when Winston and the two detectives walk out. She's stunned! Winston's the witness! Winston's equally stunned! Detectives Reese and Martin don't catch on that Winston said he saw everything, yet didn't recognise the victim of the attack, who just happens to be a friend. Elizabeth sheepishly hands him some flowers as a thank you, which he throws away because he thinks he's undeserving. He apologises for not correctly picking out a suspect, and runs away. Elizabeth, always getting into other people's business, decides she'll get to the bottom of Winston's erratic behaviour. It couldn't just be that he's upset about not picking the right suspect or anything.
Winston runs into the bathroom and splashes water on himself. He's emotionally kicking himself for his decision to come forward as a witness when he notices one of the guys from the lineup going into a cubicle. Winston notices a tattoo on their right forearm, and instantly remembers the tattoo Amanda described. He realises this is the real suspect. Hands up who didn't see that one coming? Great police work though, picking up Jackson the Southerner. Winston walks up the stall Jackson is in and watches him do his business in order to get 'a better look' at him. There's a joke to be made but I'm not going there. Finally, Jackson gets out of the bathroom and Winston follows. Vigilante Winston is here, y'all!
A while later, Winston is in his VW Bug, which we'll call 1VIGILANTE1. He's following our Rational Psycho Jackson in his 4x4, BABY. Winston's kicking himself again, thinking he might be going too far, when BABY takes an unexpected turn into a back alley and enters a parking lot. They're on the edge of town, probably the farthest 1VIGILANTE1 has ever been, so you know it's dark territory. Winston follows and parks, and watches as Jackson gets out of BABY and walks into the Gangbusters Saloon. Winston is horrified, not only is this guy a Southerner, with a tattoo, but he's walking into a bar! On the edge of town! This pretty much confirms guilt in Winston's mind. He wonders what he's gotten into, but he's a vigilante now, so he quickly follows Jackson into the Western-themed bar, trying to hide his SVU sweatshirt and blend in.
He takes a seat and instantly Rachel, the waitress, asks him what he wants. Say what you want about Gangbusters but they do have speedy service. Trying to blend in, Winston munches on a pretzel from the basket in front of him and orders a scotch on the rocks, but Rachel isn't buying this. She asks for ID, and Winston sheepishly reaches out for another pretzel and orders a Shirley Temple instead. Hee.
Rachel laughs at Winston, though I suspect it sounds more like a cackle - you can never tell at these places - causing Winston to down another pretzel. He watches Jackson nod as a brunette flirts with him at the bar. Rachel comes back with the Shirley Temple and waits for Winston to pay, but he can't find his wallet. Crap. So he was driving without a license, too. Rachel starts yelling he can't order without paying. Nostrils flare and Winston quickly gets out of his seat as the bartender comes up to him. He apologises to Rachel the waitress again, but she ain't taking that shit lying down. It's coming out of her paycheck, you know. Winston pretends to leave the bar but slinks into a corner booth, watching Jackson continue to ignore the brunette flirting with him. He realises Jackson is looking at something else and, following the gaze, watches as a blonde makes out with her boyfriend. Some people come up to Winston asking if they can use the booth instead, and Winston gives them some attitude. I'm really liking vigilante Winston. Those four guys don't, though, and call for Rachel, which causes Winston to practically fly out the booth. He races to a phone, quickly dials Amanda's number, yelling for her to meet him.
We cut to Denise and Bruce having lunch. Denise wonders what's gotten into Winston lately, and apologises to Bruce for screwing up their plans. Bruce tells her, "when Lila's out of town, I'm a free man." I really want Lila to come back so she can smack a bitch, and by bitch, I mean Bruce. She's far too good for him. Jessica runs into them and tells them about Elizabeth and Winston's meeting at the police station. Denise is even more confused.
Back at the dark territory on the edge of town, Amanda hops into 1VIGILANTE1 and kicks off her sandals. She thinks he's making up what happened at the police station as an excuse to see her. She wants Teh Sex, Winston is suffering under the strain of the moral dilemma, and Jackson still hasn't left from the bar. Finally, Jackson emerges, heading towards BABY, and Winston tries to get Amanda to ID the psycho, but she's having too much fun kissing Winston's neck. He tries to push her off him, fails, and ends up opening the car door causing them both to tumble to the ground. Amanda finally gets a good look at Jackson, and tells Winston she doesn't know if that's the guy, it was too dark. She's upset there's dirt on her clothes and informs him there will be no Teh Sex for Winston, but he isn't listening. Instead, he's trying to figure out where BABY went.
Somewhere in the woods, Jackson is stalking the blonde he saw at the bar. He picks out a knife from his collection and emos a bit about Gina, how innocent she was, how tainted she became. He gets out BABY and kills the girl.
Winston wakes up. It's Friday morning, and he's dreading leaving his bed. He turns on the tv and watches the news. They're running a story about a blonde girl that was killed in the woods! Winston, instantly recognising her, races to the police station. He fills Reese and Martin in on what happened after the lineup, and at first they don't believe him. They decide to apply for a search warrant, and Winston is worried about being asked to testify. Reese and Martin head for Elizabeth's. She answers the door, and despite meeting Reese and Martin several times in the past few days, still demands they show her some ID. She glares at the ID for a while before letting them in. The search didn't recover anything but Reese and Martin tell her not to worry, Winston's the star witness!
Understandably, this is news to Winston. Reese and Martin approach him with details of the hearing. Winston doesn't want to be the star witness, but he doesn't have a choice. He heads for Amanda's. She's really pissed off with Winston, and tells him her sob story. She was Dean Franklin's student, they had an affair, she made him leave his family and take up the position of dean at SVU. Winston isn't the first guy she's cheated on the dean with, but he is the first guy that's rejected her. She only just realise how much the dean means to her. Blah blah blah. Sometime during this conversation Elizabeth is walking and sees Winston and Amanda talking through the bushes. Of course, is there any other kind of stalking?
Later in his dorm, Winston gets a call from Bruce asking him to meet. Winston heads out but discovers Denise instead of Bruce. It was a ruse to get him out! Whoa! Bruce lent them his Porsche! Whoa! Apparently Denise had been doing chores for Sigma house in order to take Winston on a joy ride. It's a present for his new job, you see. Winston is really happy Denise still loves him. He's even happier to drive the car. Hee.
Sometime later Winston is being questioned by prosecutor Anita Vasquez. He's still nervous because he hasn't gone over his testimony (why Winnie!) but later thinks he's told the made-up story so many times he now believes it (ret conning a paragraph later Ghostwriter?). It goes smoothly though, until Jackson's lawyer Reilly has his turn with Winston. Amanda walks into the courtroom "wearing a pink business suit" looking like a model from the 40s, and although Ghostwriter wants us to imagine a neo-noir femme fatale all I can see in my head is a pink cotton ball smack bang in the centre of the courtroom. Yeah.
Reilly starts his questioning, and Winston looks at Amanda for verbal cues on what to say, because he still can't keep the story straight. Reilly looks too clever for his leather shoes and leads Winston down a specific line of questions. Winston tells the court that he had just fallen asleep on his third-storey dorm when he heard a noise, woke up, and ran to the window, but didn't see everything because of the darkness. Reilly asks Winston what his normal pattern is before falling asleep, and Winston replies he reads, watches tv, puts on his pj's, takes his contacts out, and brushes his teeth. Reilly seizes this opportunity to ask Winston if he was wearing his contacts the night he saw Elizabeth attacked, and Winston finds himself in a hole. Desperately digging, he tells Reilly he can still see without his contacts. Winston says he can, (lies, all lies!) and he'd take his contacts out to prove it, but since he doesn't have a lens case with him, he can't. Sorry Reilly, close but no cigar. Reilly has to go down fighting however, and tells Winston he can use his lens case. That doesn't seem to be very hygienic but Winston seems to like this big shiny shovel he's using to dig himself a hole, and agrees to take his contacts out. Oh no you did not want to do that Winnie.
Riley walks to the far end of the courtroom, raises his fingers, and asks Winston how many fingers he's holding up. Winston, blind as a bat, decides to look at the pink cotton ball instead. Um, no. Amanda raises her own fingers and mouths the words for Winston to see, but it's useless. No one wonders why Winston isn't looking at Reilly.
Reilly asks Winston again if there was enough light for him to see, Winston says there was. Stop digging Winnie! You'll find yourself in China! Winston tries to focus again on Amanda, but he can't, because all he sees is pink fluff. Winston guesses incorrectly. Welcome to the Communist regime. We hope you like your stay.
Justice is swift in Sweet Valley. All this happens at once: Jackson is acquitted; Jackson notices Amanda helping Winston; Winston feels like a lesser person; nosy Elizabeth eyes Amanda and realises she has a thing going with Winston; Jackson decides Amanda is his next victim; Reilly looks on smugly; Winston apologises; Detectives Reese and Martin lecture Winston ("we totally believed you in, man! How could you let us down like that!"); Judge Friedman gets to bang his gavel and realises he needs to go back to law school. Well, it all happened except for that last part because everyone in law enforcement here seems to have been taught from Ned's School of Legals and Welcoming Carnivals.
Winston slinks back to his dorm and Elizabeth hunts him down. She can be so nosy. She tries to be a journalist, which really is a fancy Liz way of asking a lot of questions and feeling credible about it. Winston confesses everything, telling Liz several times that he and Amanda did not, I repeat, did not, have Teh Sex. Liz seems to be more worried about Dean Franklin's reaction than Denise's. Some friend you are Liz. She gets really pissed off that Jackson was acquitted - well really Liz, Winston did what he could've given his circumstances, get over yourself already - and reacts the way any scorned character in Sweet Valley does: she runs away.
Winston, above all this drama, goes to work. It's Tuesday and he decides to dive right into some paperwork, but not before drinking some black coffee. Winston has survived the week of thriller SVU hell and emerged a Hardened Man. Dean Franklin steps out of his office, and what do you know? His two buddies, Detectives Reese and Martin, are right there. Let's have a black coffee party! They want to take him down to the station and ask him some questions. Different questions, they let Winston know, and Ghostwriter wants us to feel the chill right down to our bones.
Denise, walking across campus, sees Winston, Martin and Reese. They have a teary conversation, with Denise saying she'll go with Winston to the station, and Winston putting on a brave face. I feel really bad for Winston, things just haven't been going his way. He and Denise share A Moment before the detectives pull him away.
Winston is taken to the interrogation room, where Reese offers him some coffee. Get over it Reese, people change their taste in food all the time. They tell him they talked to the people at Gangbusters - Winston cringes, the memory of Rachel the evil waitress! - and Reese glares at Winston while Martin reads off a sheet, "created a disturbance [...] picked a fight [eventually] thrown out." He notes the bartender who threw Winston out is named Walter, like this is supposed to mean something to us. (Note: it doesn't, I've read ahead, so I know. Ghostwriter just threw it in there as a red herring or something. Sneaky, Ghostwriter, but I'm onto you.)
Winston tells them he went to the bar to "wait" (that doesn't sound suspicious at all) but he doesn't say anything more while Reese and Martin toss theories back and forth of Winston being the real attacker. Winston asks for his lawyer. Wtf did I just read? Someone actually did the right thing. I'm going to put it down to him maturing. They grow up so fast. Give that man a cookie. I'm so proud.
Denise, meanwhile, is on a mission. She charges right into WSVU and demands to see Elizabeth, who's right there, so it's kind of stupid to race into an office and yell out, "I wanna see Liz!" when Liz is, you know, two feet away from you. Denise tells Elizabeth Winston was taken away (they pulled him away, y'all, can you say 'police brutality'?) Elizabeth just listens to Denise babble all the while thinking, "neener-neener, he's cheating on you!" Liz can be such a bitch sometimes. She starts to do the friendly thing and reassure Denise, but ends up telling her about Winston's night with Amanda, and Denise, understandably, storms out.
Later that day, Winston knocks on Denise's door, and the girl is prepared. She opens it up, cuddles, plays the creepily endearing host to a T, all the while making Winston even more uncomfortable. She realises halfway through her act she loves him and as much as it pains her, she just can't hurt him the way he hurt her. Aww. So Winston starts to apologise, and she becomes aggressive. While Winston tries to find the right words, Denise fills in the blanks. Winston is crushed, but tells her he thought she was seeing Bruce. She gets upset, tells him that's no excuse, and throws him out.
Cut to Winston hiding in the bushes. I wonder if some other person is stalking someone else a few feet away? Do they have a little roster or "my shrub" hours? Winston watches the empty driveway of Dean Franklin's house, when finally Amanda pulls up. He races to her and tells her the police now consider him a suspect, and Amanda, not batting an eyelash, is all, "yeah, and this concerns me how?" She accuses Winston of stalking her, saying it loudly enough so the other people hiding in the bushes can hear. Whatever you might think of her, the girl's got style. She threatens to tell her husband Winston has been stalking her.
Another jump cut! This time Winston's honking at the cars in front, yelling at them to hurry up. He's trying to get to the theatre. No, really. It turns out he convinced Amanda not to lie to Dean Franklin, and now Winston wants to get to him first. 1VIGILANTE1, the orange VW Beetle, skids around some tight turns (where did they come from?) and screeches into a parking spot. Hey that was fast, I normally can't find prime parking spots like that.
He races into the theatre and tells the usher he has a pet monkey named Macbeth (!) because it's unlucky to say that name in the theatre (must suck when the play is on) and the usher gasps (!), scolds Winston and yells at him to get the monkey. Our man is in!
Winston yells out the name again for good measure, because he understands the only joy he can have now that his life is crashing down before his eyes is the delight of the usher cringing and flinching. Racing through the theatre, he finds Amanda and the Dean sitting in their seats. He walks along the rows, trying to get to them. He watches as Amanda whispers something in her husband's ear. Amanda walks up to Winston and grabs his arm. She's all, "stay away fool!" and he's like, "bitch, get out of the way." She tells him the Dean doesn't want to talk, and sneaks in an evil giggle for good measure. This woman is sooo diabolical. Hands up who else rolled their eyes?
She yells out, "help! Help!" and Winston threatens, "even if I get sent to prison, I'm going to make sure that your husband finds out everything." What? Someone grew a backbone? In my Sweet Valley? The usher finally comes up to them but Amanda tells them she's okay, and is about to take her seat when she turns around to Winston and welcomes him into adulthood. No, I'm not kidding, but I wish I were. Ghostwriter just threw that in there, to teach our formerly impressionable minds that adulthood is all about backstabbing, lies, and monkeys. Or something like that.
It seems another person has been caught in this web Ghostwriter likes to call Adulthood. Jackson gets himself an usher's uniform and makes his way into the theatre. He notes the stage is made to look like an outdoor cafe in Paris. Oooh, classy. Just as it looks like Jackson is going to settle in and enjoy the performance, he notices Amanda. The psycho in him clicks his cowboy boots, and he tells Amanda she has to wait until the scene is over before she can take her seat, because our rational psycho knows that while he can kill women any time, it's not often you get to appreciate quality theatre. Hee.
Winston is making his way to the back exit, thinking about his conversation with Amanda. His spidey senses are telling him he's seen that usher somewhere before, but the senses aren't strong enough and instead of going through mental images of where he might have seen the usher, he starts worrying about Denise. As he makes his way through the parking lot looking at the imported European cars, (I, too, wondered where his perfect parking spot went, then realised he went through the back exit. That sneaky Ghostwriter), he notices a truck. Hrm. Where have we seen that truck before? It can't be BABY can it? Winston peers at the license plate and it dawns on him. Light bulbs flicker everywhere, pennies are dropped, and Winston cries out, "he's here!"
Putting two and two together, he realises Jackson must've recognised Amanda from the courtroom appearance as the real witness, and has to finish her off somehow. Of course, wearing a bright pink business suit is a surefire way to get recognised, but Amanda was thinking style above safety. Winston races through the parking lot, past a distinguished man that tries to stop him, and bursts into the theatre, searching for Amanda.
He finds her standing where she last was, the usher standing next to her. Shit. Winston sees a silver glint of something - it couldn't possibly be a knife now, could it? - and instead of yelling, "AMANDA GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE NOW!" he and watches, horrified, as Jackson's arms move rapidly around Amanda. Winston races up to Amanda, and Jackson winks at him and says, "she's all yours, buddy." Damn you Rational Psycho! Winston falls to the floor, holding Amanda's bloody body in his arms. Someone yells out there's been a murder, the houselights turn on, and Winston looks down. It starts to come together in his head: 1 dead body, held in his arms. 1 silver knife, bloody, on the floor. 1 bloody shirt, his. Crap. Hands up who didn't see this one coming? As he races down the aisle, he comes face-to-face with Dean Franklin. Like a deer in headlights, he blinks and darts off. Nope, that's not suspicious at all.
Denise opens her front door to find a pale, trembling and bloody Winston on the other side. Deciding she still loves him, she helps him inside, but he tells her he isn't staying. He recalls the events of that afternoon, and tells her he can't go to the police. They think he's the prime suspect and they're incompetent, you know. Somehow during this conversation Winston decides that yes, he will be staying, and makes his way inside Denise's place where they share a tearful reunion. They call Elizabeth, and the three of them hatch a plan.
Elizabeth waits with Winston as Denise changes into a different set of clothes. The plan goes like this: Denise dresses as a slut, stalks Jackson to a bar, gets him interested, leaves bar. Jackson follows. Winston and Elizabeth catch him red-handed, call police. Police arrive, save the day. Winston is cleared.
Just before anyone actually inserts some logic into this plan, Denise comes out wearing a blonde wig, short black spandex skirt and red tank top. They all get into Elizabeth's jeep and head to the Lizard Lounge. They don't actually cruise the streets looking for Jackson, they seem to already know where he is. Denise walks into the bar while Elizabeth and Winston wait outside in the jeep. Before she goes in, Winston tells her to order a real drink, or else they'll get suspicious. Hee.
Denise walks into the Lizard Lounge and understandably freaks out. She's the only female in the room, and the rest of the men are huge bikers. She takes a seat at the bar, throws her hair back, and gets a whiskey. She walks over to the jukebox and starts lap dancing without a lap. No one questions how easily and quickly Denise slips into playing a slut.
Squid the Biker comes up to Denise and starts flirting, and she tells him her name is Harley. She giggles and they dance together, all the while Jackson watches and thinks of what a dirty, dirty tainted whore she is. I'm inclined to agree here Jackson. Harley decides all that dancing has made her hot, and she heads to the bar with Squid, who gets her another whiskey. She makes fun of Jackson briefly, calling him out on being the only male in the bar to ignore her (he's busy plotting!) but Squid slams down another shot glass in front of her and is all, "pay attention to me woman!"
Denise drinks the whiskey and in a continuation of Stuff You Shouldn't Do When You Grow Up Or You'll Die, Kids!, can't understand how people drink it for fun. It burns, like liquid fire! Now I'm not a fan of the taste of alcohol either, but this is seriously the cleanest university in the US. Even I knew when I was a kid these people were tame.
Squid is really excited to have a female notice him, and keeps piling the drinks on Denise, who understandably doesn't want to drink doubles with a psychotic serial killer two seats away in a biker bar in the middle of fucking nowhere. She thanks Squid for the drink but says she can't, she has to get going, but Squid isn't going down without a fight. He grabs Denise and forces her to dance, but Jackson grabs Squid and tells him to let her go, showing Squid his knife. It's no gun but it seems to work and Denise high tails it out of there.
Winston patrols outside the bar, trying to sneak a peek through the window. Elizabeth tells him they should try and call the police, and he grabs a phone only to realise there's no dial tone. Well that thwarts their plan, doesn't it? Instead of running out into the woods after Denise, they go into the bar. Winston hangs back while Elizabeth walks up to the bartender and asks to use the phone. He tells her she can use it if she kisses him, and she's having none of that action. Some other biker guy tries to flirt with her, she calls him a bozo and starts punching him. I'd feel bad if it were any other character but it's Elizabeth, so we know she's going to be just fine. She decides she'll take the Jeep to the police station when Winston comes to her rescue right on time, and Elizabeth races out of the bar, leaving Winston all alone with some very, very angry bikers.
Back in the woods, Jackson is in his truck waiting for Harley/Denise to show up. He rationalises that she passed a test - she ran out when he helped her get away from Squid, instead of staying with Squid, so this means she's still got a shred of decency but he's going to have to kill her anyway. The logic doesn't make any sense to me either, but he is the only psycho in Sweet Valley that tries to rationalise before he kills, so props to him for that. Denise backtracks through the woods, realising she went too far too fast, and makes her way to the parking lot where Jackson is waiting.
Back in the bar, it's Winston vs The Angry Bikers. He's on the floor, having been hit by a biker. They're all drinking beer now and acting merry. Winston gets up slowly without anyone noticing, grabs an empty beer mug and smacks an angry biker with it. With everyone looking stunned, he takes the biker's motorcycle keys, thanks him, and runs out. Now that's style.
Meanwhile out in the parking lot, Denise doesn't notice Winston racing triumphantly out of the bar. Instead, she stands by the parking lot long enough for Jackson to see her and heads back to the cover of darkness, hoping he'd follow. She hears a motorcycle thunder past and is all 'wtf Winston?' but Winston doesn't see her, and races past. Jackson grabs Denise from behind and tells her not to worry, they're alone now.
Winston's still thundering along in the woods, trying to find Denise. He hears her yelling help, does a quick u-turn, and races towards the scream. Jackson is yelling at Denise to shut up, and adrenaline shoots through their bodies, making this the Standoff of the Super Upset People. Winston leaps onto Jackson and Denise. She tries to fight off Jackson, then realises he's kinda slow, so she rolls away from him. Jackson slams Winston into a tree while Denise rolls to safety. Jackson kicks Winston with his cowboy boots.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth is in the police car with Detectives Reese and Martin. Those SV cops sure did get there fast. Reese is more upset they created their own private sting operation than the fact that two people may possibly die, while Martin just glares. He tells Reese they may as well check the woods, and Reese looks a little annoyed but agrees. They lock Elizabeth in the car and halfheartedly head towards the Lizard Lounge (Ghostwriter forgot they were meant to head to the woods). May as well save some people, you know? Life of an SV cop is so hard. They don't find anyone there, and instead of taking the initiative to look through the woods themselves, they go back to the car and lecture Elizabeth on how much of their time she's wasted. Then Martin notices the bike Winston is riding, and some police work actually starts happening.
Back in the woods, Denise is staring into Jackson's crazy eyes and crying for him to let Winston go. Jackson's got Winston held by a knife, and Winston's starting to bleed. Denise tells Jackson what he wants to hear, but Jackson isn't buying it. Since begging and reasoning didn't work, she tries her hand at negotiating, and tries to get Jackson to kill her first. Jackson is finally convinced, and letting Winston go, he inches towards Denise with his bloody knife, but not before Detective Reese aims his gun at Jackson.
As backup arrives, Denise and Winston hold each other. They kiss as Jackson is being taken away by Detective Reese. Detective Martin congratulates Winston, and Elizabeth suggests they celebrate at the Lizard Lounge.
Some weeks later, Winston and Denise are having breakfast in the cafeteria. It turns out Dean Franklin, having been told the full story by Winston, took a year off. Winston is happy he's alive, and that he and Denise are okay. Elizabeth walks up to them and slams a newspaper down. Jackson's been sentenced to life in prison. Elizabeth's happy she'll finally be able to sleep. Don't be so sure Liz, there are so many psychos out there. Denise and Winston aren't listening to her, though, as they cuddle and kiss. All together now: "Aww."