This recap was so amazingly made of win! I was LMAO so many times. When the Grunge Monkey was dragging Chloe, I kept thinking they were going to yell, "Outlander!!!"
I think I read this book, and I was so appalled by Bruce, I just wanted Lila to kick him in the nuts. What a jackass.
Also, why do the psychos (or "psycho" in Bruce's case) come to Lila's on New Year's? I think they're just attracted to the Wakefield's pheromones and follow them wherever they go.
Shift to Neil, who is being dragged through the woods by two guys. They're shoving and pulling him, and his little party hat comes off. Oh no!!! Won't someone think of the party hats?
Bruce moves in for a kiss and Lila punches him in the eye. That's the best part of this book.
Teh Gays and their accessories. I love how Francine was all "Lets add a gay guy! We'll get some sort of buzz for that, right?" and they handled it as badly as they handle everything else, having learned nothing from Tom McKay.
I KNOW! I was so, so mad at the sloppy, stupid, creepy resolution to this book. I want to set it on fire. Especially since Bruce was so fucking misogynistic toward Lila for 9/10 of the book.
Indeed. Clearly spending all that time away from Lila warped his mind and undid the cool-making effect she had had on him in the SVU books. I never read this ... In part one of your excellent recap I did consider "could it be Bruce?" but as soon as the actual abductions began I thought "no wai" and was even convinced at one point they might have resurrected John (hisssssss) Pfeiffer, when it got to that "obedience! at last!" bit. I mean, stranger things have happened at sea in Sweet Valley. But no. *shakes head* Ghostwriter, you've let the characters down, you've let the loyal readers down, but most of all you've let yourself down.
On the other hand though I snorted with laughter approximately every 3 seconds throughout this, so thank you!
I LIKED the Bruce/Lila pairing up until now. It worked. But how anyone could have thought that Bruce's actions should be FORGIVEN.... dfjkjdsfjshjfshjhjfshjhjhjhj. Arrrgh. *sigh*
I literally screamed "NO!" when I got to the end of this book. Bruce is fucked up, and, seriously, making many, many people think they're going to DIE, including YOUR GIRLFRIEND, and rationalizing that she DESERVES IT because she was a bit bitchy with you, is a good joke?!?!?!?! WTF!?!?!
I choose to believe that Lila did not take Bruce back, she instead kicked him repeatedly in the groin as hard as she could, until he collapsed on the floor, crying, then just being like, "assholes," to everyone else who got the joke, then storming out and refusing to talk to them. How awesome would that be?
That would be hella awesome. I just want to rewrite the end of this book so Bruce ends up in a shallow grave in the woods with one of Lila's shoes crammed up his butt.
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And on the sliding scale of Tricia Martin to Sally Larson, Chloe is one of the most annoying and unlikable SV characters ever.
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I think I read this book, and I was so appalled by Bruce, I just wanted Lila to kick him in the nuts. What a jackass.
Also, why do the psychos (or "psycho" in Bruce's case) come to Lila's on New Year's? I think they're just attracted to the Wakefield's pheromones and follow them wherever they go.
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Even if the psychos aren't specifically out to get the Wakefields, they're always near by.
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Won't someone think of the party hats?
Bruce moves in for a kiss and Lila punches him in the eye.
That's the best part of this book.
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*had already read it, but is realising afresh how stupid it is*
*tells herself it's ridiculous to get this mad over a Sweet Valley book*
*attempts to breathe*
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On the other hand though I snorted with laughter approximately every 3 seconds throughout this, so thank you!
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I choose to believe that Lila did not take Bruce back, she instead kicked him repeatedly in the groin as hard as she could, until he collapsed on the floor, crying, then just being like, "assholes," to everyone else who got the joke, then storming out and refusing to talk to them. How awesome would that be?
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Awesome recap, by the way. Damn I hate this book.
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