SVH #78 The Dating Game
Ok here it is, my recap of #78! I noticed no one had done this one yet and since I happen to own it, I thought I'd take the liberty and tackle it...hope no one minds!
It is lunchtime at Sweet Valley High. Jessica is talking animatedly as she eats her lunch with Sandra Bacon, Lila Fowler, Amy Sutton, and Jean West. Jessica can’t wait for what she proclaims (for the 137th time) will be “one of the biggest dances of the year”.
It is to be a spring dance. Yes, spring has actually arrived in Sweet Valley! I’ve lost count how many seasons have come and gone and yet the twins remain Juniors in high school. What did they ever do to deserve this “Groundhog Day” treatment?
The theme of this dance is aptly named “Love in Bloom” the gym will be absolutely covered in paper flowers and there will be dancing by candlelight. All the girls are very excited about it.
Sandra thinks it’s a great theme for (yet another) spring dance and that this will be the most romantic thing to hit Sweet Valley since Romeo and Juliet!
Um, a bunch of paper flowers illuminated by candlelight is supposed to be romantic? Ok, I’ll go, but only if Mr. Collins can be my date!
Lila, on the other hand, is more concerned about being seen at the dance wearing "the same old jewelry” while Amy is more concerned about being seen with “the same old boys” and the subject is suddenly shifted to dreams, their meanings and interpretations.
By the way we are informed that Amy has a serious, steady boyfriend now. Amy has reformed from ruining everyone’s life at Sweet Valley by stealing their boyfriends (thus causing them to commit suicide) and has finally settled down. She is “really and truly in love” with her boyfriend, Barry Dork Rork. (Opps, my finger slipped, but it made me laugh so I'm keeping it in!)
Jessica is our #1 expert on dreams today (she’s read just one article on them-she really KNOWS folks!). Jessica tries to convert her friends to this new-age realism on dreams. Lila scoffs at dreams, Amy giggles about hot dream guys who drive sports cars, but Jean West suddenly speaks up. Jean has recently broken up with her boyfriend, Tom McKay, and she too is now a believer in the power of dreams and is anxious to hear the details of Jessica’s latest amazing dream. Apparently Jessica has dreamed this dream three times which, as everyone knows, means it will surely come true! Lila only cares if SHE was in it. I love Lila.
So Jessica’s dream is: She’s walking on the beach, wearing a pink two-piece, you know, the one with the little bows (in all the right places, right?) and as she strolls along the beach she passes all the hottest guys in Sweet Valley who are begging her to come and sit with them: Nicolas Morrow, A.J. Morgan, Danny Porter, and Scott Trost…(these are hot guys???) then suddenly the dream shifts from babe heaven on the beach for Jessica to a rainy, lonely, hell on the beach for Jessica. Her audience has suddenly disappeared, gone, the beach is deserted, and it’s dark and raining. Jessica starts running through the rain, she runs and runs, trips, falls, and is lying in the sand, despairing, all alone and soaking wet…until suddenly someone rescues her by…putting a blanket around her and, get this, he’s THE MOST GORGEOUS boy Jessica has ever seen!
Her friends press her for more details on what this gorgeous dream boy looked like and just how gorgeous was he? But Jessica can’t remember, she wakes up just before she sees his face (yeah, I really hate when that happens).
But what does her dream mean?
Lila says, “It means you should never walk on an empty beach without an umbrella.” LOL!
(I’m beginning to see why everyone at 1Bruce1 digs Lila so much.)
Jessica is convinced, CONVINCED it means this dream boy is her one true love. Jean has been inspired to start dreaming harder. Jessica tells her to do that because “Dreams do come true you know.”
Meanwhile, in Elizabeth-land, Jessica’s twin is eating her lunch with Trusty Boyfriend Todd, whom I personally never liked, and was glad to be rid of in #23 but apparently, he’s back.
Oh, yes, I remember now: Todd’s back and Elizabeth’s got him! .
Curse you Sweet Valley! *shakes fist at sky*
Enid Rollins, and Claire Middleton, Sweet Valley High’s first female quarterback, (yes, THAT Claire Middleton) are also lunching at the table with Liz and Todd. Claire doesn’t have a date for the upcoming dance and doesn’t believe anyone will ask her. She looks shyly at the nearby table of football players grunting and squealing like pigs as they consume their lunches. Liz gently teases Claire when she admits she IS crushing on a certain football player over there but Claire excuses herself to go the library before Liz can press her further. Enid also excuses herself, something she should do more often.
Elizabeth says Claire is really nice, don’t you think? Before Todd can comment a sudden burst of laughter from the football player’s table drowns him out.
Scott Trost is a handsome quarterback who apparently has a bit of an attitude problem when it comes to girls. He’s not interested in asking anyone out or taking a date to the dance. He’s a real male chauvinist. The other guys give him a hard time about his luck with girls and say the REAL reason he’s been dumped so many times is because all the girls have wised up to him. He’s so arrogant no girl will go out with him anymore. He’s Toad Trost, superjock. Bruce Patman could take lessons from this guy but on the other hand this guy could certainly take some fashion and hair styling tips from Bruce-his cover picture really sucks! But that’s my opinion.
Angry at all this talk and teasing, especially from Danny Porter, a cute and well-liked wide receiver for the team, Scott declares he can take any girl he wants, with a snap of his fingers “just like THAT.” Oh, he’ll be at that dance alright AND he won’t be alone! He takes his books and storms angrily away from the table.
Liz and Todd have heard everything. Liz is indignant, she’s horrified! She stares after him before exploding to trusty boyfriend. She’s SO offended! She just can’t believe what she’s just overheard! “He acts as if he’s the best thing to happen to women since pantyhose.” And that’s an actual quote.
When you’ve finished picking yourself up off the floor from laughing so hard, we’re now at Casa Wakefield and Elizabeth-who is chomping at the bit to lead another Women’s Rights movement-is relaying the lunchroom scene to her mother, Alice. She describes the horrible, vulgar display of male egotism she witnessed to Mom and to Jessica when she enters the kitchen and joins the conversation. Jessica quickly changes the subject to the fascinating topic of dreams, namely HER dreams.
Jessica’s dream obsession is the B plot of our story. The next day, Tuesday, Jessica bursts into the breakfast table scene in a Hawiian nightmare of an outfit, “a wildly patterned skirt in greens and blues and purples, a pink top, and several bright scarves” because “Guess what?” She had her dream again, saw her dream guy and it was even more sensuous and amazing the fourth time! Except, a few changes have occurred: it is now a black sandy beach where large white flowers bloom. Also instead of cute guys and that simple rainstorm that scared her into running is now a raging storm, a hurricane! Her dream outfit is different too, Jessica dreamt she was wearing a sarong, and her gorgeous savior-dreamguy is a surfer who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt therefore:
Black sand + white flowers + Hawaiian Shirt means she must’ve been dreaming she was in Hawaii!
Later after school, Jessica recounts her dream to Jean and adds even MORE details like the sarong was purple and she was also wearing a necklace of flowers. Jean sighs in envy at this “most amazing dream” Jessica got to have and impulsively decides to tell Jessica about what happened to her that day while disguising it as a “dream”. Jessica enthusiastically agrees to help her figure out what it means. She’s an “expert” on dreams, you know.
Jean found a letter in her locker that day, a LURVE letter! It gushed about how her skin was like pearls and her eyes are like stars and other such mushy nonsense, and the boy who wrote it said he’d like to get to know her and go out on a date. It’s signed by none other than Scott Trost! Jean isn’t sure whether to feel embarrassed, suspicious or flattered. She doesn’t give details to Jessica but hints she’s finding herself sort of crushing on this particular guy. She sees him in the hallway and her knees go weak, he laughs at something his friend says and suddenly it’s hard to breathe, (girl, you’re on the rebound, take my advice and run away, FAST!)
Jessica is intrigued and she has her interpretation all ready: this dream letter is very important, it signifies this guy, whoever he is, really cares about Jean but he’s just too shy to admit it. She tells Jean to go for it. “When love knocks, you’ve got to open the door.”
Jessica gets more and more obsessed with her own dream that keeps returning night after night. She checks out a stack of library books on dream interpretation and Hawaii. She continues wearing the Hawaiian themed outfits such as a hot pink sundress. If Jessica owned a grass skirt, she’d be parading around in it and doing the hula.
She hits her Mom up for money to take a trip to Maui. Declined, Jessica starts her own dream analysis and interpretation service for her classmates to earn money for her trip. She’s been an “expert” in dreams for almost a week now so starting her own business seems like a perfectly logical thing to do. She promises to send a postcard from Maui. She practically has her bags packed and she gushes constantly over how incredibly GORGEOUS this dream guy is! She must get to Hawaii right away where he’s waiting for her to save him from a life of loneliness! It’s fate. It’s what Latoya Jackson would do. It’s Jessica’s destiny. She must go to Hawaii.
Jessica dreams her dream a FITH time and learns her gorgeous dream guy’s name is Michael Jackson! “Isn’t that the most romantic name you’ve ever heard? He’s so unbelievably gorgeous you just wouldn’t believe it!” Jackson is sounding more and more like a real person.
Next SVH book title. Has a figment of Jessica’s imagination come to life? Find out in The Dream Man.
Dream #6-It’s Saturday night, exhausted with her work on her classmates dream interpretation, Jessica collapses on her bed and dreams she’s back on her beach and thinks she sees Jackson, her dream guy, coming towards her, she reaches eagerly for him, but wait! It’s not Jackson it’s…hundreds of swimsuit-clad girls all running toward her clutching dream books and demanding to know the meaning of their dreams!
Jessica does what I’d like to do with this book,
Turn and run!
Back to Wednesday. After witnessing that scene at the football players table in the lunchroom, Elizabeth has caught the dream fever too, she dreams about none other than “Toad Trost” (how boring).
In her dream, Scott picks out potential dates for himself like apples off a tree, like Simon Cowell judging candidates for the big prize. He arrogantly surveys all the Sweet Valley girls and snaps his fingers at them, “You! I don’t like the color of your bathing suit. While you, my dear, are just all wrong, the worst I’ve ever seen, Wait! You! I’ll take that one.”
Needless to say, the offensiveness of this dream has inspired Elizabeth to take action! She will write an Oracle article on relationships and pass out a questionnaire to all the students about the differences between boys and girls and how they view the dating pool, their own relationships with their boyfriends, ect (because anyone who’s ANYONE in Sweet Valley has a boy/girl friend and they’re the only ones worth polling in Liz’s opinion).
Elizabeth then makes up a chart containing all the survey data, analyzes and then shares her findings with Trusty Boyfriend (who somehow manages to keep a straight face) as they discuss, in all seriousness, the results of the questionnaire and the comments from their fellow classmates on dating and being attracted to the opposite sex.
But, Oh Nos! Liz and Todd get in a tiff, they both have differing ideas on how girls and guys view each other and the roles they play in a dating relationship! It’s so serious that Liz doesn’t want to go to the dance with Trusty Boyfriend after all-not with his male chauvinist ideas on dating and his male dominated views! *shudder*
Todd makes up with Liz by sending an anonymous letter to the paper, which Liz reads and responds to after she figures out it was Todd who wrote it. Somehow Todd has become an aardvark, which tipped Liz off to who the anonymous writer really was. Liz decides to compromise and responds to Trusty Boyfriend aka “anonymous” by writing a “Perhaps the differing views boys and girls have about each other can be a GOOD thing” article. The article and survey on dating and boy/girl relationships is a success after all. Liz hopes maybe her and Todd will start speaking again and make up.
Later Todd tracks Liz down in the drugstore downtown as she’s picking out shampoo (in the downtown DRUGSTORE? In 1991 I went to Wal-Mart for that stuff) he says, “I’d rather be an aardvark than a teenage boy, if I were an aardvark I wouldn’t have been able to read your great reply to my letter.”
Liz whirls around, in a rush of joy, to find Todd is standing behind her, ready to make up. He takes her hands in his. Todd and Liz are so overcome with passion for each other; they have a hair washing orgasm right in the middle of the drugstore! Shocked and horrified customers all stop and stare at the scene they’re making in the isle.
Fooled you! Instead, Liz pecks Todd on the cheek, they agree their date for the dance is still on, and that’s how they kiss and make up. Yawn.
This is SO lame. Why doesn’t Liz suck Todd’s face off anymore?
Make-out session count in this book so far? Zero.
BOR-ING.
And that could almost be a C plot. This entire book is beginning to give me a headache.
Did you hear that ghostwriter? You’re giving me a headache!
Ok, meanwhile, Jean discovers that Claire Middleton has also received a love letter, in fact it’s exactly like hers, pearly skin and starry eyes and everything, AND it’s signed by Scott “Superjock” Trost. Both girls are offended that Scott would try dating two girls at the same time, (the NERVE of him!) so they decide to ban together, they’ll make Scott believe he’s succeeded in his dating game, then make a fool out of him in front of the whole school!
But the plan backfires. Jean goes on her date with Scott and finds herself actually enjoying it. When Scott leans over and blows in her ear she practically melts. He recites “The Afternoon Walk of Paul Revere” to her, making her laugh. During the ride home they play name that tune where one hums a song and other tries to guess its title. (Honestly, that’s really in there!) Jean has never had so much fun in her life on a date! Laughing and talking is so easy with him it’s hard to believe he’s the same superjock player of the dating field he’s rumored to be. He’s actually sweet and nice when it’s just the two of them.
Claire is disgusted by having to go out with Scott but she goes out with him anyway since it’s all part of “the revenge scheme” and shares details with Jean.
The two girls start two conflicting rumors over the weekend as part of the revenge scheme.
“Did you hear? Scott Trost and Jean West are the newest hot and heavy couple of the year!”
“Have you heard about Scott Trost and Claire Middleton? They’re practically engaged!”
By Monday, the two rumor parties have found out about each other and meet and have their showdown in the cafeteria as choreographed by Jean and Claire. Playacting, they both confront Scott:
“How could you do this to me, Scott? I thought I was the one you liked!”
“Wait a minute, I thought you were dating ME!”
“I’m his girlfriend!”
“No, I am!”
Scott “God’s gift to women” Trost coolly tells them to shush and then declares a competition. He will continue to go out with BOTH girls and after he decides which one he likes best, she will be the lucky one he’ll take to the upcoming dance. He’ll announce his decision Friday, the day before the dance.
Jean is a little troubled at this sudden personality switch. Gee, she wonders, what happened to “kind, sweet Scott”? Scott is waiting for their answer and since Claire only stands there looking helplessly at her and says nothing, Jean speaks up and agrees to his competition. May the best girl win.
Liz is naturally SHOCKED at this. Jessica and Lila and the rest think it’s hilarious. Todd's opinion is the only male viewpoint on this “dating game” we get and he missed the entire scene and has to hear about it from Liz and her group. Todd points out the girls AGREED to go along with it, right? So it’s all fine and dandy with him. Liz is even more ticked off.
Meanwhile Jean and Claire are in the girls restroom doubled over with laughter (laughter? *checks book* yep) “…neither of them was crying her eyes out or touching up on their lipstick. Instead, they were clutching each other and laughing uproariously.”
They agree to lay down a few ground rules if they’re going to continue to play Scott’s game: no hand holding, no kissing, no sex (Ok, I’ll admit the word “sex” has never been written in any SVH novel so, naturally, it’s not here either!). Then, THEN they will get their sweet revenge on Scott and make him sorry he ever learned to write! Just you wait, Scott!
So Jean goes out on her second date with Scott, he takes her miniature golfing and out for pizza. Again, she has a great time, but there’s no make out session at Miller’s Point for them. The ghostwriter never even acknowledges its existence in this book.
*sigh of disappointment*
Scott tries to bring up the subject of this competition with her and Claire, he wants to explain…but Jean won’t hear it and quickly changes the subject.
“Check please,” sighs Scott to the pizza waiter.
After her own date with Scott the next day, Claire tells Jean that she’s never been so bored in her life. Jean is relieved; it appears there’s no attraction here for Claire towards Scott.
Meddling Liz has discovered that the mysterious football player Claire likes is Danny Porter and, yes, Claire is secretly hoping HE will ask her to the dance. Claire doesn’t give two figs about Scott Trost.
Jean has Date #3 with Scott at the Cote d’Or, a romantic French restaurant, with candles and fine food. Scott tries to hold Jean’s hand at the table but Jean wisely remembers “the rules”. When he tries to bring up the subject of her and Claire and this competition again, Jean gets weepy and tries to hide behind her menu. Scott declares he wishes he’d only written ONE letter…to HER. He pulls her menu down to make Jean look at him and Jean hears choirs of angles singing and violins playing as he looks into her eyes.
What the hell’s wrong with her? she thinks, after all this is “Toad Trost the two-timer” talking to her! She regains her composure and coolly dismisses any kind of apology Scott might’ve been trying to make. She doesn’t want to hear it.
After she goes on her second date with Scott, (or is it Claire’s third now, ah, who cares?) Claire tells Jean she can’t wait for this charade to end and Jean lies, she can’t wait either and yes, it’s very boring for her too having to date Scott and pretend to enjoy it . While the mental battle ensues inside her head: “I love him, I love him not,” no one must know of these growing feelings she having for the enemy, NO ONE!
Date #4 Scott makes Jean cover her eyes as he drives her somewhere promising. It’s a surprise he says, and she’ll love it!
Oh, please, let it be a deserted shack up in the mountains where he’ll hold her hostage and make her feed him wild grapes and strawberries in the buff while she’s tied to a chair and force-fed frozen pancakes!
WRONG! They arrive at the surprise place and almost tenderly, Scott helps Jean out of his red corvette and leads her across the sand while Jean keeps her eyes closed. She can tell from the pounding noise of the surf they are at the beach. She opens her eyes and gasps at the incredibly beautiful moon and starlight glow cast over the deserted beach. Scott rests his chin on her head and puts his arm around her, “I arranged this just for you,” he murmurs romantically.
Angles sing and music plays.
Together they walk along the moonlit beach and, for Jean, the rest of world seems to fall away.
Jean has never felt so relaxed and happy. Scott should just take her in the sand, right now!
Instead, he takes her in his arms and kisses her. Jean has never been kissed like this before and GASP she finds herself kissing him back!
The big day has finally arrived, the day Jean and Claire are going to humiliate “that two timer, Scott,” in front of the entire school. But Jean is hesitant to go through with it.
Meddling Liz bumps into Jean in the hall before lunch and winks at her. Remeber, Liz was able to wring the truth about the girl’s plans and whole complicated mess from Claire. She knows all about it and is totally supportive of their revenge plans. “Bet you’re looking forward to telling Scott the truth of how you both feel about him, eh?”
Jean promptly begins to cry. Meddling Liz leads her into an empty classroom, hands her a tissue and demands to know what’s really going on here, after all she’s made it her business to stand up for women’s dating rights! Jean spills her true feelings for Scott. She’s in LURVE with him, really and truly! Liz, the guidance counselor, tells her she needs to let Claire in on this little bit of news and call the whole competition off before it’s too late. The noon bell rings and everyone rushes off to lunch.
Jean finds Claire and is trying to explain to how she really feels, as Liz advised her to do, as they walk toward the lunchroom. As they enter the school cafeteria they find everyone, EVERYONE is already there, waiting for them! On cue, Scott enters on the other side of the room and, as if watching a tennis match, every head turns in his direction. Silently the girls begin walking towards the waiting jock. Everyone’s eyes are on them, the room is eerily silent. Jean is clearing her throat, ready to get this all out into the open, but Scott suddenly begins his speech:
“You’re probably wondering why I gathered you all here…”
He’s enjoyed the contest, especially being fought over and is now ready to declare the winner. The smug, conceited chauvinist mask is back on.
Jean is confused. This is NOT the same Scott she went out with on all those dates.
And to think she actually had FEELINGS for this guy!
Scott declares Jean the winner. Jean shouts “I wouldn’t go out with you if you were the last boy on earth!” and in a flood of tears she flees the scene.
Scott tries to maintain his composure and bravado but Claire and Danny both tell Scott off for his lies and attitude, declare THEY will be going to the dance with each other, link arms and walk away. Scott is left standing all alone in the middle of the lunchroom. No audience reaction is mentioned, it’s like they all just disappeared.
Claire got her revenge AND she got the guy she wanted to take her to the dance. Meddling Liz quickly catches up to them, demanding to know what’s going on. She fills Claire in on Jean’s confession and spills the beans about Jean’s TRUE feelings for Scott. They must go and find Jean right away and talk to her.
But Jean has secluded herself in her house. She won’t answer the phone but she does answer the door when Liz and Claire come knocking. They don’t have to pry the razors or pills out of her hands, she’s not suicidal. Jean is actually looking quite healthy and cheerful. She puts on a happy face, declares she’s fine, she’ll be OK, she’s just relieved they’re not going to try and convince her to change her mind about Scott, in fact she’s very relieved they aren’t going to discuss “You-Know-Who” (Jean just broke up with Lord Voldermort?) but Liz gently suggests she should at least TALK to Scott but Jean refuses and is quick to show them the door.
As soon as they’re gone Jean collapses on the couch, grabs her stash of tissues and continues to wallow in her self-pity. Despite her Oscar winning performance to her friends, she can’t eat, she can hardly sleep. She makes herself remember all the good times she and Scott had together. She still can’t deny her true feelings for Scott. She loves him and it’s making her miserable!
Suddenly the doorbell rings again, it’s Scott! Jean tries to slam the door in his face. He knows he’s been “the biggest creep the world has ever seen” but he begs for just five minutes of her time. Jean has a brief mental argument with herself before letting him in.
“You treated Claire and me as though we were dolls.”
She is slowly backing up as she speaks and Scott has crossed the threshold and is slowly advancing on her. Step by step, he talks, she pleads, he is physically maneuvering himself closer and closer to her all the while, backing her against the wall, she knocks a hallway lamp over in her agitation, she should call the police right now:
“I know I did, I apologize.”
“No, you’re a liar, I don’t believe you.”
“I’m not lying, see, there’s an outside me and an inside me.”
“Then why don’t you act the nice guy role ALL the time?”
That’s right, he’s like Jekyll and Hyde, he acts one way in front of his jock friends and another way when he’s alone with her and can’t really explain WHY.
Can’t she see he LOVES her?
This is really creepy because Jean melts away at this speech as he takes hold of her wrists and pulls her close to him, bringing his lips to hers.
Looks like Jean found herself a date to the Spring Dance.
Ghostwriter, you are a terrible writer! That was the worst Sweet Valley A plot I’ve ever had to plod through.
I'm sure several people agree that ever since the ghostwriters started giving our favorite twins supporting character roles and giving the minor characters the spotlight is when this series really started to fall flat.
And by the way, remember that dream hunk of Jessica’s, Jackson? Jess finds an old magazine in her room; it had that one article she read on dream interpretation, she idly flips through it, remembering. Suddenly she sees an ad for Jackson’s Funtime Fashions with a gorgeous dark haired male model posing in a Hawiian shirt …Oh No! Could it be? Yes it could.
Looks like no Hawaii trip for Jessica after all and she STILL hasn’t got a date for the dance!
Not to worry, resourceful Jessica manages to scrape up a last minute date for herself.
The night of the dance. The gym has been decorated in “a riot of paper flowers, paper hearts, and silver balloons.” outside, candles flicker and moonlight streams down. It’s all perfect. Liz has Todd, Jessica is dancing with her date, who is looking more and more like her dark haired dream guy but even better because he’s a REAL GUY. Claire dances with Danny, and Jean and Scott win the “happiest looking couple prize” in Jessica’s mind. (Nope, sorry Jessica, it's Mr. Collins and ME who win happiest couple prize!) She laughs because, turns out, it’s all just like she said, “Dreams really CAN come true!”
And they all lived happily ever after.
It is lunchtime at Sweet Valley High. Jessica is talking animatedly as she eats her lunch with Sandra Bacon, Lila Fowler, Amy Sutton, and Jean West. Jessica can’t wait for what she proclaims (for the 137th time) will be “one of the biggest dances of the year”.
It is to be a spring dance. Yes, spring has actually arrived in Sweet Valley! I’ve lost count how many seasons have come and gone and yet the twins remain Juniors in high school. What did they ever do to deserve this “Groundhog Day” treatment?
The theme of this dance is aptly named “Love in Bloom” the gym will be absolutely covered in paper flowers and there will be dancing by candlelight. All the girls are very excited about it.
Sandra thinks it’s a great theme for (yet another) spring dance and that this will be the most romantic thing to hit Sweet Valley since Romeo and Juliet!
Um, a bunch of paper flowers illuminated by candlelight is supposed to be romantic? Ok, I’ll go, but only if Mr. Collins can be my date!
Lila, on the other hand, is more concerned about being seen at the dance wearing "the same old jewelry” while Amy is more concerned about being seen with “the same old boys” and the subject is suddenly shifted to dreams, their meanings and interpretations.
By the way we are informed that Amy has a serious, steady boyfriend now. Amy has reformed from ruining everyone’s life at Sweet Valley by stealing their boyfriends (thus causing them to commit suicide) and has finally settled down. She is “really and truly in love” with her boyfriend, Barry Dork Rork. (Opps, my finger slipped, but it made me laugh so I'm keeping it in!)
Jessica is our #1 expert on dreams today (she’s read just one article on them-she really KNOWS folks!). Jessica tries to convert her friends to this new-age realism on dreams. Lila scoffs at dreams, Amy giggles about hot dream guys who drive sports cars, but Jean West suddenly speaks up. Jean has recently broken up with her boyfriend, Tom McKay, and she too is now a believer in the power of dreams and is anxious to hear the details of Jessica’s latest amazing dream. Apparently Jessica has dreamed this dream three times which, as everyone knows, means it will surely come true! Lila only cares if SHE was in it. I love Lila.
So Jessica’s dream is: She’s walking on the beach, wearing a pink two-piece, you know, the one with the little bows (in all the right places, right?) and as she strolls along the beach she passes all the hottest guys in Sweet Valley who are begging her to come and sit with them: Nicolas Morrow, A.J. Morgan, Danny Porter, and Scott Trost…(these are hot guys???) then suddenly the dream shifts from babe heaven on the beach for Jessica to a rainy, lonely, hell on the beach for Jessica. Her audience has suddenly disappeared, gone, the beach is deserted, and it’s dark and raining. Jessica starts running through the rain, she runs and runs, trips, falls, and is lying in the sand, despairing, all alone and soaking wet…until suddenly someone rescues her by…putting a blanket around her and, get this, he’s THE MOST GORGEOUS boy Jessica has ever seen!
Her friends press her for more details on what this gorgeous dream boy looked like and just how gorgeous was he? But Jessica can’t remember, she wakes up just before she sees his face (yeah, I really hate when that happens).
But what does her dream mean?
Lila says, “It means you should never walk on an empty beach without an umbrella.” LOL!
(I’m beginning to see why everyone at 1Bruce1 digs Lila so much.)
Jessica is convinced, CONVINCED it means this dream boy is her one true love. Jean has been inspired to start dreaming harder. Jessica tells her to do that because “Dreams do come true you know.”
Meanwhile, in Elizabeth-land, Jessica’s twin is eating her lunch with Trusty Boyfriend Todd, whom I personally never liked, and was glad to be rid of in #23 but apparently, he’s back.
Oh, yes, I remember now: Todd’s back and Elizabeth’s got him! .
Curse you Sweet Valley! *shakes fist at sky*
Enid Rollins, and Claire Middleton, Sweet Valley High’s first female quarterback, (yes, THAT Claire Middleton) are also lunching at the table with Liz and Todd. Claire doesn’t have a date for the upcoming dance and doesn’t believe anyone will ask her. She looks shyly at the nearby table of football players grunting and squealing like pigs as they consume their lunches. Liz gently teases Claire when she admits she IS crushing on a certain football player over there but Claire excuses herself to go the library before Liz can press her further. Enid also excuses herself, something she should do more often.
Elizabeth says Claire is really nice, don’t you think? Before Todd can comment a sudden burst of laughter from the football player’s table drowns him out.
Scott Trost is a handsome quarterback who apparently has a bit of an attitude problem when it comes to girls. He’s not interested in asking anyone out or taking a date to the dance. He’s a real male chauvinist. The other guys give him a hard time about his luck with girls and say the REAL reason he’s been dumped so many times is because all the girls have wised up to him. He’s so arrogant no girl will go out with him anymore. He’s Toad Trost, superjock. Bruce Patman could take lessons from this guy but on the other hand this guy could certainly take some fashion and hair styling tips from Bruce-his cover picture really sucks! But that’s my opinion.
Angry at all this talk and teasing, especially from Danny Porter, a cute and well-liked wide receiver for the team, Scott declares he can take any girl he wants, with a snap of his fingers “just like THAT.” Oh, he’ll be at that dance alright AND he won’t be alone! He takes his books and storms angrily away from the table.
Liz and Todd have heard everything. Liz is indignant, she’s horrified! She stares after him before exploding to trusty boyfriend. She’s SO offended! She just can’t believe what she’s just overheard! “He acts as if he’s the best thing to happen to women since pantyhose.” And that’s an actual quote.
When you’ve finished picking yourself up off the floor from laughing so hard, we’re now at Casa Wakefield and Elizabeth-who is chomping at the bit to lead another Women’s Rights movement-is relaying the lunchroom scene to her mother, Alice. She describes the horrible, vulgar display of male egotism she witnessed to Mom and to Jessica when she enters the kitchen and joins the conversation. Jessica quickly changes the subject to the fascinating topic of dreams, namely HER dreams.
Jessica’s dream obsession is the B plot of our story. The next day, Tuesday, Jessica bursts into the breakfast table scene in a Hawiian nightmare of an outfit, “a wildly patterned skirt in greens and blues and purples, a pink top, and several bright scarves” because “Guess what?” She had her dream again, saw her dream guy and it was even more sensuous and amazing the fourth time! Except, a few changes have occurred: it is now a black sandy beach where large white flowers bloom. Also instead of cute guys and that simple rainstorm that scared her into running is now a raging storm, a hurricane! Her dream outfit is different too, Jessica dreamt she was wearing a sarong, and her gorgeous savior-dreamguy is a surfer who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt therefore:
Black sand + white flowers + Hawaiian Shirt means she must’ve been dreaming she was in Hawaii!
Later after school, Jessica recounts her dream to Jean and adds even MORE details like the sarong was purple and she was also wearing a necklace of flowers. Jean sighs in envy at this “most amazing dream” Jessica got to have and impulsively decides to tell Jessica about what happened to her that day while disguising it as a “dream”. Jessica enthusiastically agrees to help her figure out what it means. She’s an “expert” on dreams, you know.
Jean found a letter in her locker that day, a LURVE letter! It gushed about how her skin was like pearls and her eyes are like stars and other such mushy nonsense, and the boy who wrote it said he’d like to get to know her and go out on a date. It’s signed by none other than Scott Trost! Jean isn’t sure whether to feel embarrassed, suspicious or flattered. She doesn’t give details to Jessica but hints she’s finding herself sort of crushing on this particular guy. She sees him in the hallway and her knees go weak, he laughs at something his friend says and suddenly it’s hard to breathe, (girl, you’re on the rebound, take my advice and run away, FAST!)
Jessica is intrigued and she has her interpretation all ready: this dream letter is very important, it signifies this guy, whoever he is, really cares about Jean but he’s just too shy to admit it. She tells Jean to go for it. “When love knocks, you’ve got to open the door.”
Jessica gets more and more obsessed with her own dream that keeps returning night after night. She checks out a stack of library books on dream interpretation and Hawaii. She continues wearing the Hawaiian themed outfits such as a hot pink sundress. If Jessica owned a grass skirt, she’d be parading around in it and doing the hula.
She hits her Mom up for money to take a trip to Maui. Declined, Jessica starts her own dream analysis and interpretation service for her classmates to earn money for her trip. She’s been an “expert” in dreams for almost a week now so starting her own business seems like a perfectly logical thing to do. She promises to send a postcard from Maui. She practically has her bags packed and she gushes constantly over how incredibly GORGEOUS this dream guy is! She must get to Hawaii right away where he’s waiting for her to save him from a life of loneliness! It’s fate. It’s what Latoya Jackson would do. It’s Jessica’s destiny. She must go to Hawaii.
Jessica dreams her dream a FITH time and learns her gorgeous dream guy’s name is Michael Jackson! “Isn’t that the most romantic name you’ve ever heard? He’s so unbelievably gorgeous you just wouldn’t believe it!” Jackson is sounding more and more like a real person.
Next SVH book title. Has a figment of Jessica’s imagination come to life? Find out in The Dream Man.
Dream #6-It’s Saturday night, exhausted with her work on her classmates dream interpretation, Jessica collapses on her bed and dreams she’s back on her beach and thinks she sees Jackson, her dream guy, coming towards her, she reaches eagerly for him, but wait! It’s not Jackson it’s…hundreds of swimsuit-clad girls all running toward her clutching dream books and demanding to know the meaning of their dreams!
Jessica does what I’d like to do with this book,
Turn and run!
Back to Wednesday. After witnessing that scene at the football players table in the lunchroom, Elizabeth has caught the dream fever too, she dreams about none other than “Toad Trost” (how boring).
In her dream, Scott picks out potential dates for himself like apples off a tree, like Simon Cowell judging candidates for the big prize. He arrogantly surveys all the Sweet Valley girls and snaps his fingers at them, “You! I don’t like the color of your bathing suit. While you, my dear, are just all wrong, the worst I’ve ever seen, Wait! You! I’ll take that one.”
Needless to say, the offensiveness of this dream has inspired Elizabeth to take action! She will write an Oracle article on relationships and pass out a questionnaire to all the students about the differences between boys and girls and how they view the dating pool, their own relationships with their boyfriends, ect (because anyone who’s ANYONE in Sweet Valley has a boy/girl friend and they’re the only ones worth polling in Liz’s opinion).
Elizabeth then makes up a chart containing all the survey data, analyzes and then shares her findings with Trusty Boyfriend (who somehow manages to keep a straight face) as they discuss, in all seriousness, the results of the questionnaire and the comments from their fellow classmates on dating and being attracted to the opposite sex.
But, Oh Nos! Liz and Todd get in a tiff, they both have differing ideas on how girls and guys view each other and the roles they play in a dating relationship! It’s so serious that Liz doesn’t want to go to the dance with Trusty Boyfriend after all-not with his male chauvinist ideas on dating and his male dominated views! *shudder*
Todd makes up with Liz by sending an anonymous letter to the paper, which Liz reads and responds to after she figures out it was Todd who wrote it. Somehow Todd has become an aardvark, which tipped Liz off to who the anonymous writer really was. Liz decides to compromise and responds to Trusty Boyfriend aka “anonymous” by writing a “Perhaps the differing views boys and girls have about each other can be a GOOD thing” article. The article and survey on dating and boy/girl relationships is a success after all. Liz hopes maybe her and Todd will start speaking again and make up.
Later Todd tracks Liz down in the drugstore downtown as she’s picking out shampoo (in the downtown DRUGSTORE? In 1991 I went to Wal-Mart for that stuff) he says, “I’d rather be an aardvark than a teenage boy, if I were an aardvark I wouldn’t have been able to read your great reply to my letter.”
Liz whirls around, in a rush of joy, to find Todd is standing behind her, ready to make up. He takes her hands in his. Todd and Liz are so overcome with passion for each other; they have a hair washing orgasm right in the middle of the drugstore! Shocked and horrified customers all stop and stare at the scene they’re making in the isle.
Fooled you! Instead, Liz pecks Todd on the cheek, they agree their date for the dance is still on, and that’s how they kiss and make up. Yawn.
This is SO lame. Why doesn’t Liz suck Todd’s face off anymore?
Make-out session count in this book so far? Zero.
BOR-ING.
And that could almost be a C plot. This entire book is beginning to give me a headache.
Did you hear that ghostwriter? You’re giving me a headache!
Ok, meanwhile, Jean discovers that Claire Middleton has also received a love letter, in fact it’s exactly like hers, pearly skin and starry eyes and everything, AND it’s signed by Scott “Superjock” Trost. Both girls are offended that Scott would try dating two girls at the same time, (the NERVE of him!) so they decide to ban together, they’ll make Scott believe he’s succeeded in his dating game, then make a fool out of him in front of the whole school!
But the plan backfires. Jean goes on her date with Scott and finds herself actually enjoying it. When Scott leans over and blows in her ear she practically melts. He recites “The Afternoon Walk of Paul Revere” to her, making her laugh. During the ride home they play name that tune where one hums a song and other tries to guess its title. (Honestly, that’s really in there!) Jean has never had so much fun in her life on a date! Laughing and talking is so easy with him it’s hard to believe he’s the same superjock player of the dating field he’s rumored to be. He’s actually sweet and nice when it’s just the two of them.
Claire is disgusted by having to go out with Scott but she goes out with him anyway since it’s all part of “the revenge scheme” and shares details with Jean.
The two girls start two conflicting rumors over the weekend as part of the revenge scheme.
“Did you hear? Scott Trost and Jean West are the newest hot and heavy couple of the year!”
“Have you heard about Scott Trost and Claire Middleton? They’re practically engaged!”
By Monday, the two rumor parties have found out about each other and meet and have their showdown in the cafeteria as choreographed by Jean and Claire. Playacting, they both confront Scott:
“How could you do this to me, Scott? I thought I was the one you liked!”
“Wait a minute, I thought you were dating ME!”
“I’m his girlfriend!”
“No, I am!”
Scott “God’s gift to women” Trost coolly tells them to shush and then declares a competition. He will continue to go out with BOTH girls and after he decides which one he likes best, she will be the lucky one he’ll take to the upcoming dance. He’ll announce his decision Friday, the day before the dance.
Jean is a little troubled at this sudden personality switch. Gee, she wonders, what happened to “kind, sweet Scott”? Scott is waiting for their answer and since Claire only stands there looking helplessly at her and says nothing, Jean speaks up and agrees to his competition. May the best girl win.
Liz is naturally SHOCKED at this. Jessica and Lila and the rest think it’s hilarious. Todd's opinion is the only male viewpoint on this “dating game” we get and he missed the entire scene and has to hear about it from Liz and her group. Todd points out the girls AGREED to go along with it, right? So it’s all fine and dandy with him. Liz is even more ticked off.
Meanwhile Jean and Claire are in the girls restroom doubled over with laughter (laughter? *checks book* yep) “…neither of them was crying her eyes out or touching up on their lipstick. Instead, they were clutching each other and laughing uproariously.”
They agree to lay down a few ground rules if they’re going to continue to play Scott’s game: no hand holding, no kissing, no sex (Ok, I’ll admit the word “sex” has never been written in any SVH novel so, naturally, it’s not here either!). Then, THEN they will get their sweet revenge on Scott and make him sorry he ever learned to write! Just you wait, Scott!
So Jean goes out on her second date with Scott, he takes her miniature golfing and out for pizza. Again, she has a great time, but there’s no make out session at Miller’s Point for them. The ghostwriter never even acknowledges its existence in this book.
*sigh of disappointment*
Scott tries to bring up the subject of this competition with her and Claire, he wants to explain…but Jean won’t hear it and quickly changes the subject.
“Check please,” sighs Scott to the pizza waiter.
After her own date with Scott the next day, Claire tells Jean that she’s never been so bored in her life. Jean is relieved; it appears there’s no attraction here for Claire towards Scott.
Meddling Liz has discovered that the mysterious football player Claire likes is Danny Porter and, yes, Claire is secretly hoping HE will ask her to the dance. Claire doesn’t give two figs about Scott Trost.
Jean has Date #3 with Scott at the Cote d’Or, a romantic French restaurant, with candles and fine food. Scott tries to hold Jean’s hand at the table but Jean wisely remembers “the rules”. When he tries to bring up the subject of her and Claire and this competition again, Jean gets weepy and tries to hide behind her menu. Scott declares he wishes he’d only written ONE letter…to HER. He pulls her menu down to make Jean look at him and Jean hears choirs of angles singing and violins playing as he looks into her eyes.
What the hell’s wrong with her? she thinks, after all this is “Toad Trost the two-timer” talking to her! She regains her composure and coolly dismisses any kind of apology Scott might’ve been trying to make. She doesn’t want to hear it.
After she goes on her second date with Scott, (or is it Claire’s third now, ah, who cares?) Claire tells Jean she can’t wait for this charade to end and Jean lies, she can’t wait either and yes, it’s very boring for her too having to date Scott and pretend to enjoy it . While the mental battle ensues inside her head: “I love him, I love him not,” no one must know of these growing feelings she having for the enemy, NO ONE!
Date #4 Scott makes Jean cover her eyes as he drives her somewhere promising. It’s a surprise he says, and she’ll love it!
Oh, please, let it be a deserted shack up in the mountains where he’ll hold her hostage and make her feed him wild grapes and strawberries in the buff while she’s tied to a chair and force-fed frozen pancakes!
WRONG! They arrive at the surprise place and almost tenderly, Scott helps Jean out of his red corvette and leads her across the sand while Jean keeps her eyes closed. She can tell from the pounding noise of the surf they are at the beach. She opens her eyes and gasps at the incredibly beautiful moon and starlight glow cast over the deserted beach. Scott rests his chin on her head and puts his arm around her, “I arranged this just for you,” he murmurs romantically.
Angles sing and music plays.
Together they walk along the moonlit beach and, for Jean, the rest of world seems to fall away.
Jean has never felt so relaxed and happy. Scott should just take her in the sand, right now!
Instead, he takes her in his arms and kisses her. Jean has never been kissed like this before and GASP she finds herself kissing him back!
The big day has finally arrived, the day Jean and Claire are going to humiliate “that two timer, Scott,” in front of the entire school. But Jean is hesitant to go through with it.
Meddling Liz bumps into Jean in the hall before lunch and winks at her. Remeber, Liz was able to wring the truth about the girl’s plans and whole complicated mess from Claire. She knows all about it and is totally supportive of their revenge plans. “Bet you’re looking forward to telling Scott the truth of how you both feel about him, eh?”
Jean promptly begins to cry. Meddling Liz leads her into an empty classroom, hands her a tissue and demands to know what’s really going on here, after all she’s made it her business to stand up for women’s dating rights! Jean spills her true feelings for Scott. She’s in LURVE with him, really and truly! Liz, the guidance counselor, tells her she needs to let Claire in on this little bit of news and call the whole competition off before it’s too late. The noon bell rings and everyone rushes off to lunch.
Jean finds Claire and is trying to explain to how she really feels, as Liz advised her to do, as they walk toward the lunchroom. As they enter the school cafeteria they find everyone, EVERYONE is already there, waiting for them! On cue, Scott enters on the other side of the room and, as if watching a tennis match, every head turns in his direction. Silently the girls begin walking towards the waiting jock. Everyone’s eyes are on them, the room is eerily silent. Jean is clearing her throat, ready to get this all out into the open, but Scott suddenly begins his speech:
“You’re probably wondering why I gathered you all here…”
He’s enjoyed the contest, especially being fought over and is now ready to declare the winner. The smug, conceited chauvinist mask is back on.
Jean is confused. This is NOT the same Scott she went out with on all those dates.
And to think she actually had FEELINGS for this guy!
Scott declares Jean the winner. Jean shouts “I wouldn’t go out with you if you were the last boy on earth!” and in a flood of tears she flees the scene.
Scott tries to maintain his composure and bravado but Claire and Danny both tell Scott off for his lies and attitude, declare THEY will be going to the dance with each other, link arms and walk away. Scott is left standing all alone in the middle of the lunchroom. No audience reaction is mentioned, it’s like they all just disappeared.
Claire got her revenge AND she got the guy she wanted to take her to the dance. Meddling Liz quickly catches up to them, demanding to know what’s going on. She fills Claire in on Jean’s confession and spills the beans about Jean’s TRUE feelings for Scott. They must go and find Jean right away and talk to her.
But Jean has secluded herself in her house. She won’t answer the phone but she does answer the door when Liz and Claire come knocking. They don’t have to pry the razors or pills out of her hands, she’s not suicidal. Jean is actually looking quite healthy and cheerful. She puts on a happy face, declares she’s fine, she’ll be OK, she’s just relieved they’re not going to try and convince her to change her mind about Scott, in fact she’s very relieved they aren’t going to discuss “You-Know-Who” (Jean just broke up with Lord Voldermort?) but Liz gently suggests she should at least TALK to Scott but Jean refuses and is quick to show them the door.
As soon as they’re gone Jean collapses on the couch, grabs her stash of tissues and continues to wallow in her self-pity. Despite her Oscar winning performance to her friends, she can’t eat, she can hardly sleep. She makes herself remember all the good times she and Scott had together. She still can’t deny her true feelings for Scott. She loves him and it’s making her miserable!
Suddenly the doorbell rings again, it’s Scott! Jean tries to slam the door in his face. He knows he’s been “the biggest creep the world has ever seen” but he begs for just five minutes of her time. Jean has a brief mental argument with herself before letting him in.
“You treated Claire and me as though we were dolls.”
She is slowly backing up as she speaks and Scott has crossed the threshold and is slowly advancing on her. Step by step, he talks, she pleads, he is physically maneuvering himself closer and closer to her all the while, backing her against the wall, she knocks a hallway lamp over in her agitation, she should call the police right now:
“I know I did, I apologize.”
“No, you’re a liar, I don’t believe you.”
“I’m not lying, see, there’s an outside me and an inside me.”
“Then why don’t you act the nice guy role ALL the time?”
That’s right, he’s like Jekyll and Hyde, he acts one way in front of his jock friends and another way when he’s alone with her and can’t really explain WHY.
Can’t she see he LOVES her?
This is really creepy because Jean melts away at this speech as he takes hold of her wrists and pulls her close to him, bringing his lips to hers.
Looks like Jean found herself a date to the Spring Dance.
Ghostwriter, you are a terrible writer! That was the worst Sweet Valley A plot I’ve ever had to plod through.
I'm sure several people agree that ever since the ghostwriters started giving our favorite twins supporting character roles and giving the minor characters the spotlight is when this series really started to fall flat.
And by the way, remember that dream hunk of Jessica’s, Jackson? Jess finds an old magazine in her room; it had that one article she read on dream interpretation, she idly flips through it, remembering. Suddenly she sees an ad for Jackson’s Funtime Fashions with a gorgeous dark haired male model posing in a Hawiian shirt …Oh No! Could it be? Yes it could.
Looks like no Hawaii trip for Jessica after all and she STILL hasn’t got a date for the dance!
Not to worry, resourceful Jessica manages to scrape up a last minute date for herself.
The night of the dance. The gym has been decorated in “a riot of paper flowers, paper hearts, and silver balloons.” outside, candles flicker and moonlight streams down. It’s all perfect. Liz has Todd, Jessica is dancing with her date, who is looking more and more like her dark haired dream guy but even better because he’s a REAL GUY. Claire dances with Danny, and Jean and Scott win the “happiest looking couple prize” in Jessica’s mind. (Nope, sorry Jessica, it's Mr. Collins and ME who win happiest couple prize!) She laughs because, turns out, it’s all just like she said, “Dreams really CAN come true!”
And they all lived happily ever after.