Gym memberships and pushy salespeople: A Rant
Holy crap, being sold to is awkward. Either I feel super awkward and dickish because I go into it knowing I won’t be purchasing at that exact moment, or if I DO decide to buy, I get all twitchy wondering if I am falling for something instead of just making the same choice that I would have anyway.
Jon joined the Faceless Corporate Gym up the road, and he signed me up for a guest pass for a week (to try it out in anticipation of me joining too, of course). So the sales guy called me last week to set up ‘an appointment’ to get the guest pass, which was basically them doing the entire membership intake procedure, walking me around, and selling the whole package. Which is fine. It was awkward but of course they want to make money and that’s okay. The guy was nice about it. So then they get me signed up for the guest pass and he’s all like “So here’s how much it will be if you tack onto your husband’s membership” (since it waives the sign-up fee and stuff), and heads straight into “Do you want to get that signed up today?” I politely said “No thank you”, he continued the spiel about how when I’m ready I should call him (so he gets the commission, of course, which is fair enough IMO), here’s what a great deal it is, etc. Reiterate the sales pitch, basically. Fine, fine, good. All standard spiel. So that’s fine. I knew I wasn’t going to buy so it was awkward but nothing out of the ordinary. So I get the papers and his card and everything and shake his hand and walk out to the car, and I’m halfway to my car when he yells my name from the doorway. So I turn around and he says that his manager wants to meet me. (I don’t remember exactly how he phrased it.) So since I didn’t have anywhere to be and possibly because I am a pushover (and also because he was nice and I hoped he wasn’t getting reamed for not closing a deal or something), I go back in and am guiding to this other guy’s desk. They basically reiterate the whole pricing spiel, but this new guy tries to tell me that there’s a deal that was just over the weekend but they ~*~just extended it~*~ for Monday so I should totally sign up RIGHT NAO! Except that that was the same price that the original sales guy quoted to me, which would be the price to tack on to an existing membership. So it is a ‘better deal’ than the ‘regular membership’ or whatever, but it’s not actually ~*~just for the weekend~*~. That pissed me off. Then basically the manager dude just kept pushing and I was like “Yo dude, I’m just not the kind of person who buys on impulse, leave it alone, I respect that you’re giving your speech and you gotta say all this but it’s not going to happen”. It was just ridiculously awkward and makes me not want to sign up just to spite them. I was going to probably sign up eventually but not RIGHT NAO and now it’s just irritating and I kind of want to spite them and not go. Urgh. Annoying.
PLUS it was awkward because in the initial ~*~intake~*~ (or whatever) the dude was all like “So what are you looking for?! Any particular goals?! Anything you’re trying to get ready for, or just for summer?!” And I KNOW that it’s just a standard line like when people (including me!) make awkward remarks about “Well, it’s Monday, you know” or “I’m just glad it’s Friday” and all that other Standard Issue Small Talk type stuff, but it just made me fucking squirmy. Partly because I find the idea of “getting ready for summer” just general repugnant but, like, at one point the questionnaire asks what my worst habit is (health-wise) and I just Could Not Answer. I don’t fucking know. I am occasionally lazy and I eat donuts/bacon/ice cream and I don’t run as much as I should but it was super fucking weird to be asked what my Worst Habit is because…I don’t know why, it just was. Like, I sure as hell wasn’t going to say “I eat too many donuts!” or something and I don’t want to lose weight and…I don’t know. I am awkward as fuck, that is the moral of this story. I stuttered and then said something about self-motivation. I mean of course, they’re just trying to get to the crux of why I want a gym membership so that they can sell me the appropriate perks of membership, but I just didn’t know what to say. Blugh.
So yeah, I’m dumb and weird and I dislike being sold to.
I’ve been SUPER irritated with Health & Wellness Horseshit lately (work stuff, mostly), so that just didn’t help. I know I’m being ridiculous but nevertheless. ~*~Wellness~*~ can die in a fire. Eat the goddamn donut.
Jon joined the Faceless Corporate Gym up the road, and he signed me up for a guest pass for a week (to try it out in anticipation of me joining too, of course). So the sales guy called me last week to set up ‘an appointment’ to get the guest pass, which was basically them doing the entire membership intake procedure, walking me around, and selling the whole package. Which is fine. It was awkward but of course they want to make money and that’s okay. The guy was nice about it. So then they get me signed up for the guest pass and he’s all like “So here’s how much it will be if you tack onto your husband’s membership” (since it waives the sign-up fee and stuff), and heads straight into “Do you want to get that signed up today?” I politely said “No thank you”, he continued the spiel about how when I’m ready I should call him (so he gets the commission, of course, which is fair enough IMO), here’s what a great deal it is, etc. Reiterate the sales pitch, basically. Fine, fine, good. All standard spiel. So that’s fine. I knew I wasn’t going to buy so it was awkward but nothing out of the ordinary. So I get the papers and his card and everything and shake his hand and walk out to the car, and I’m halfway to my car when he yells my name from the doorway. So I turn around and he says that his manager wants to meet me. (I don’t remember exactly how he phrased it.) So since I didn’t have anywhere to be and possibly because I am a pushover (and also because he was nice and I hoped he wasn’t getting reamed for not closing a deal or something), I go back in and am guiding to this other guy’s desk. They basically reiterate the whole pricing spiel, but this new guy tries to tell me that there’s a deal that was just over the weekend but they ~*~just extended it~*~ for Monday so I should totally sign up RIGHT NAO! Except that that was the same price that the original sales guy quoted to me, which would be the price to tack on to an existing membership. So it is a ‘better deal’ than the ‘regular membership’ or whatever, but it’s not actually ~*~just for the weekend~*~. That pissed me off. Then basically the manager dude just kept pushing and I was like “Yo dude, I’m just not the kind of person who buys on impulse, leave it alone, I respect that you’re giving your speech and you gotta say all this but it’s not going to happen”. It was just ridiculously awkward and makes me not want to sign up just to spite them. I was going to probably sign up eventually but not RIGHT NAO and now it’s just irritating and I kind of want to spite them and not go. Urgh. Annoying.
PLUS it was awkward because in the initial ~*~intake~*~ (or whatever) the dude was all like “So what are you looking for?! Any particular goals?! Anything you’re trying to get ready for, or just for summer?!” And I KNOW that it’s just a standard line like when people (including me!) make awkward remarks about “Well, it’s Monday, you know” or “I’m just glad it’s Friday” and all that other Standard Issue Small Talk type stuff, but it just made me fucking squirmy. Partly because I find the idea of “getting ready for summer” just general repugnant but, like, at one point the questionnaire asks what my worst habit is (health-wise) and I just Could Not Answer. I don’t fucking know. I am occasionally lazy and I eat donuts/bacon/ice cream and I don’t run as much as I should but it was super fucking weird to be asked what my Worst Habit is because…I don’t know why, it just was. Like, I sure as hell wasn’t going to say “I eat too many donuts!” or something and I don’t want to lose weight and…I don’t know. I am awkward as fuck, that is the moral of this story. I stuttered and then said something about self-motivation. I mean of course, they’re just trying to get to the crux of why I want a gym membership so that they can sell me the appropriate perks of membership, but I just didn’t know what to say. Blugh.
So yeah, I’m dumb and weird and I dislike being sold to.
I’ve been SUPER irritated with Health & Wellness Horseshit lately (work stuff, mostly), so that just didn’t help. I know I’m being ridiculous but nevertheless. ~*~Wellness~*~ can die in a fire. Eat the goddamn donut.