Eh, I'm just irritable because I hurt and I work tomorrow.
I can tell grappling is going to be a long haul again. It was the same with taekwondo: I started strong and was really psyched at how fast I picked things up, then suddenly I got thrown into the heavier stuff and felt completely out of my depth. I eventually found my feet in taekwondo and I'm sure the same will happen with grappling, but for now I come home from class feeling like a big pile of incompetence. It's really really hard to keep going when I can't see myself getting better. I know that it only comes with time, I know, but it's so hard. I've almost forgotten how it feels to really really work for something...taekwondo is always a challenge for me, but it's things I know. This is crazy-new. Augh.
Also. I'm sick and tired of people playing holier-than-thou and telling me taekwondo is no good. Okay so point-sparring isn't real fighting, okay so taekwondo doesn't lend itself to MMA as well as some other arts, okay so a lot of American organizations have corrupted it to the point of uselessness...but that doesn't completely illegitimize it as a martial art. I'm sick of people laughing at me when I tell them I got my black belt last March. Just because I'm no Gracie or Hughes or Penn doesn't mean I didn't work DAMN hard for that piece of fabric around my waist. Don't even fucking come close to telling me that it's worth nothing. I don't care if I would never ever ever throw a backspin in a street fight; 3 years of blood, sweat, and, yes, tears, is not to be sneezed at because that art's not good enough for you. Thank you SO much.