The Eigth Essay
Pictures are the door way to memories for me; I have many pictures of my friends, thousands. There seems to be a trend lately of my losing the pictures I want most, almost as if those memories of those friends are meant to grow dull, for with out pictures, my poor brain does go dull on the memories until it is as though I am looking in upon them from some foggy shore a mile off. I’ve lost so many pictures of people I love, my friends over the past two years it isn’t even funny. There were well over five thousand pictures lost from my two years in Okinawa, as well as all the pictures that were stolen from me here on board the ship with one sticky fingered hand finding my camera and taking the memory card out. I have and have lost thousands of pictures of only a hand full of people.
I love my friends; I have come too far not to admit that I love my friends wholly and with every fiber of my being. Even if I am not a very good friend, and to many I suspect I am not, I love my friends, and would do all that I could for them. I am not in love with my friends; I don’t desire relationships with them, though some of my best friends have started as crushes. I’ve been blessed with the people who have all had acts in my life as friends. If my life were a play, it would be a failure and a bore if not for the friends who have all played parts in it. All have taught me valuable lessons, truths that lead me today to look back and lament that I was not a better friend to them then, and to determine that I will be a better friend to those I have now.
Looking back I can see where I was unkind, jealous, self-centered with my friends from before, and it evokes in me a desire to be kinder, more understanding, and selfless with the people who grace my life now. I would not have done the things in my past that I have done if I knew then what I know now, but then, I would not know what I know now, if I had not done then what I did. But that is the very nature of life, we cannot go back and use our knowledge we have now to change things we did then, because then, we would not have gone through the experiences to gain our knowledge now.
Friends are the nutrients and food that helps us to grow, the old saying “Choose your friends wisely” is a saying fraught with wisdom. We, as we converse with and play with, and grow with our friends they slowly become like us and we become like them. If you choose friends who are not striving for their best in life, not striving for their full potential, but are satisfied with where they are, or are lost in a downward spiral of self destruction, then chances are you will follow along with them.
We shape each other through our interactions and beliefs, weather for good or bad, we are shaped by the people who we deem most important in our lives.
There is a belief in society today that we can only have one or two “True” friends in life, and that all others will eventually go away, lose contact, break off the friendship, or in someway end the relationship. Society seems to feel that this is ok, that this is the way things are and the way they should be. I wholeheartedly disagree.
I believe if not for the attitude of society that this would not be accepted, it would be seen as the tragedy that it is. We were made for communion with others, we were made to be social creatures, to be together, and beyond that, we were made to love. We accept and expect that our friends at some point will leave us; it becomes a point to see how long a friendship can last before it finally ends. It is our selfish nature that causes this I believe, we look to friends to fulfill some perceived need inside of us, and once that need is filled, we move on. Things will not change until we change the basest part of the problem, ourselves. Only by changing our perception of what is important, only by giving up the “it’s all about me” attitude can we hope to begin to fix the very brokenness of the belief that friends must inevitably hurt us and leave us. This is not the way we were made to be.
I love my friends; I have come too far not to admit that I love my friends wholly and with every fiber of my being. Even if I am not a very good friend, and to many I suspect I am not, I love my friends, and would do all that I could for them. I am not in love with my friends; I don’t desire relationships with them, though some of my best friends have started as crushes. I’ve been blessed with the people who have all had acts in my life as friends. If my life were a play, it would be a failure and a bore if not for the friends who have all played parts in it. All have taught me valuable lessons, truths that lead me today to look back and lament that I was not a better friend to them then, and to determine that I will be a better friend to those I have now.
Looking back I can see where I was unkind, jealous, self-centered with my friends from before, and it evokes in me a desire to be kinder, more understanding, and selfless with the people who grace my life now. I would not have done the things in my past that I have done if I knew then what I know now, but then, I would not know what I know now, if I had not done then what I did. But that is the very nature of life, we cannot go back and use our knowledge we have now to change things we did then, because then, we would not have gone through the experiences to gain our knowledge now.
Friends are the nutrients and food that helps us to grow, the old saying “Choose your friends wisely” is a saying fraught with wisdom. We, as we converse with and play with, and grow with our friends they slowly become like us and we become like them. If you choose friends who are not striving for their best in life, not striving for their full potential, but are satisfied with where they are, or are lost in a downward spiral of self destruction, then chances are you will follow along with them.
We shape each other through our interactions and beliefs, weather for good or bad, we are shaped by the people who we deem most important in our lives.
There is a belief in society today that we can only have one or two “True” friends in life, and that all others will eventually go away, lose contact, break off the friendship, or in someway end the relationship. Society seems to feel that this is ok, that this is the way things are and the way they should be. I wholeheartedly disagree.
I believe if not for the attitude of society that this would not be accepted, it would be seen as the tragedy that it is. We were made for communion with others, we were made to be social creatures, to be together, and beyond that, we were made to love. We accept and expect that our friends at some point will leave us; it becomes a point to see how long a friendship can last before it finally ends. It is our selfish nature that causes this I believe, we look to friends to fulfill some perceived need inside of us, and once that need is filled, we move on. Things will not change until we change the basest part of the problem, ourselves. Only by changing our perception of what is important, only by giving up the “it’s all about me” attitude can we hope to begin to fix the very brokenness of the belief that friends must inevitably hurt us and leave us. This is not the way we were made to be.