Mystery Sox Theatre 3000

[1863_project]

I was once a fanfiction author. Back in my heyday, I used to write for anime and video game canons (and later the Sharpe series by Bernard Cornwell, a resident of Chatham, Massachusetts), but I realized that working on something original was far more fulfilling and fun, so I stopped writing it for the most part. I also was sick and tired of Mary

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[piney61]

Ahh yes, fanfiction. The Mary Sues that ensue. I used to do fanfiction wayyy back when. They all sucked. Horribly. So I'm putting that part of my life on the backburner. I do write here and there, but it's all like the type that it's like "Don't take this seriously" and it's so ridiculous that it can't be true. Good times, good times. AKA I specialize in intentional crackfics.
I await the day of the first Jacoby/Mary Sue fic I find. I will laugh at them as they have an extremely long name like that and have like purple/blue/pink hair and rainbow colored eyes or some shit.

Oh and when you MST it, you need ot have Clay and Jacoby there to be teased retlentlessly. A Jed n' Justin Production!

[1863_project]

That was exactly what I had in mind. I had actually written this conversation in my head earlier today (complete with Jacoby constantly interrupting and Clay freaking out) that started with Jed inquiring if Justin's dad could go to Massachusetts and marry Jacoby and Clay and ended with Chris Carter (a human biology major at Stanford) talking about getting their DNA and cloning them a kid (who would be really fast and would have a high arm slot). Justin then suggested that the kid's first word wouldn't be "mama" or "dada" but rather "taco." (I disturb myself.)

The more I look back on my old fanfiction, the more I realize it sucked. I'm pretty much sticking with the original fiction thing from now on - although if I feel like indulging in crackfic, I don't hesitate. It can be fun sometimes...

[piney61]

Basically have Justin and Jed talking about the wedding plans and all while Jacoby and Clay are just like *hides faces, plotting doom on Yahoo!Sports writer* and then fangirls sending Clay some hatemail.

Oh and Papelbon should interrupt and be like "I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT A WEDDING! CAN I BE THE FLOWER GIRL?!"

Dude, I think about these random thoughts all the time. It's how I come up with soem of the material I write

[1863_project]

The Jonathan bit killed me. I now have a mental image of him in this little pink dress with a basket of flowers, and he's tossing the flowers around and skipping down the aisle...He'll have to have a crown of flowers, too.

Jed would totally demand to be best man. Although that leaves the maid of honor slot open...

The Jacoby/Random Pink Hat shippers will be so annoyed. Awww, too bad.

[piney61]

Oh yeah. He'd be like "I WANT MORE FRILLS ON MY DRESS!" to his dressmaker. He'd also hit on whoever the ring bearer is most likely. Since he's all sexual. :P Ashley would just look at him and be all *facepalm* and wondering why she married him.

Well first off, whose the bride and whose the groom? I'd say Clay is the bride and Jacoby is the groom. Jed is already the best man. He claimed that. Justin is just the wedding planner/usher. Maid of honor would be like probably Bowden. You know to keep the whole "Class of 2005 Draftees" gang together. Maybe Pedroia can be the ring bearer. He's small enough. Beckett will walk Clay down the aisle! And the DJ of the reception will have to be someone like I'm thinking Coco or Papi.

.....I'm scaring myself right now

[1863_project]

Sometimes I wonder why Ashley married Jonathan, too - and then there are strange moments in which I think I understand. (I usually don't, though, and those moments pass quickly.)

I was thinking Clay would probably be the bride, too. As pretty as Jacoby is, I can't see him in the dress. Clay, on the other hand, could totally pull that off. (It's tempting to use his rookie hazing outfit, but...nah.)

I was going to go with Bowden, too! The two of them did spend the winter together, after all...I adore that Class of '05. They're all so wonderful.

I'm trying to come up with their wedding song, so I'm disturbing myself, too. They can have something all nice and slow and then as soon as it's over someone will blast Okajima Oki-Doki and ruin the moment.

[piney61]

She probably sees something we all don't. I mean I love Papelbon, but I dunno if he'd be marryable now. He's kinda in a whore stage of life. Maybe Ashley figured once he gets teh whore out of him, he'll be fine. Though I read that Ashley had to be CONVINCED by her friends to date him

[piney61]

Okay I have found the ULTIMATE song!

"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us"-Starship

Seriously. This would be teh best ever!

[1863_project]

Oh my God, that is PERFECT.

The '80s really do churn out the best wedding songs. My parents used "You're The Inspiration" by Chicago for theirs, but this is even better.

(And a random coincidence - at Katsucon, I watched a video that used "I Touch Myself" as the background music. Hmmm.)

[piney61]

My parents used "Wonderful Tonight"-Eric Clapton but they got married in the early 80's.

Glad you enjoy the song. It's got just enough cheese to make it happen! And also it'd be awesome to make a backstory like they watched Mannequin one night when hanging with Justin and Jed and Clay fell asleep on Jacoby's shoulder or something. *laughs* Yeah I'm getting wayy too into this.

"I Touch Myself" would be a song that Papelbon would sing. And REALLY get into.

[1863_project]

Don't worry about getting way too into it - that backstory is adorable.

As for Jonathan...I'm not sure if I should enjoy the mental images I'm getting right now or not. (is confused)

[piney61]

Okay good. This song may also have to be used somehow as well. "You Make My Dreams Come True"-Hall and Oates Just because of the happy trippiness.

You can enjoy it in a "BWAHAHAHA" kinda way. But I think that's it.

[1863_project]

Definitely - it's so catchy! (And that music video is epic in all the wrong ways.)

[piney61]

Could be the last song of the wedding or what not.

This would also make a great crackfic too. I just can't imagine anybody keeping a straight face though during "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us"

[1863_project]

Neither can I. I mean, I couldn't even picture Jed keeping a straight face during the actual wedding (although he doesn't have a good deadpanning record anyway...). It sort of went like this:

Priest: Do you, Jacoby Ellsbury, take this, er...woman, Clay Buchholz, to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Jacoby: Uh...I do.
Jed: (snorts with laughter and clamps his hand over his mouth)
Jacoby: (gives him a look)

[piney61]

I can imagine Jed and Justin passing around wedding invites to the entire team. Oh the reactions they'd likely get. And then when Clay and Jacoby get word....