Sigh
I'm having a sad day. I've been on the job hunt for a few days now, only to be laid off from a job that made up a big chunk of our income. I dedicated everything I had to that job, and worked nearly 24/7 to stay on top of my work. I was on point. I helped out so much, and when everyone else in the company was either "let go" or just quit, I remained and shouldered the work.
I've gone through so many emotions today. Shock, upset, then coping and relief. And now, just annoyance and more upset.
Is this a good thing? Was it time for me to move on to something better? Is this a kick in the pants for me to get a new job quick? Am I better off?
I have been having withdrawals. I keep reaching for my chalked up calendar, so full of work cause I wrote it out in advance til the end of the week. I keep trying to log into my accounts, and writing out my To Dos. I can actually feel it in my chest. I've had the same routine for over a year now: Wake up and run to my computer (there could be an unplanned meeting, a late blog post, a company announcement or press release. Run to the toilet and do my morning routine with my phone glued to my hand and my news feed open. Go back to work and get everything checked on all of the accounts, write publish any blog related content, send out promotions or direct-post content. Starve until afternoon when I can finally take a 10 minute break. Go back to work and do everything I couldn't do in the morning because of the instant unplanned To Dos. Try to finish everything by COB CST, only to end up going over 5pm. Break for dinner and exercise. Do end of day work, and prep for next day--sometimes til after midnight.
There wasn't a single day that I wasn't afraid that I would miss something. If I went off without service on a Sunday and there was an emergency with a client, I could be chewed out (and it only happened once). I only got paid for a set amount of hours, even if I was thinking about it and prepping constantly.
I was most upset at first by how Seth would react--he's obsessed with money. Did he fail me? Nope. I told him, after I was laid off via Google Talk while in an employment agency. He got angry, then upset. So upset that his boss sent him home and he couldn't even carry an encouraging or supporting conversation with me, and had to just go to bed (at 3pm).
It's hard, but I think I'm supposed to be relaxing now. I really could use some encouragement though!
I've gone through so many emotions today. Shock, upset, then coping and relief. And now, just annoyance and more upset.
Is this a good thing? Was it time for me to move on to something better? Is this a kick in the pants for me to get a new job quick? Am I better off?
I have been having withdrawals. I keep reaching for my chalked up calendar, so full of work cause I wrote it out in advance til the end of the week. I keep trying to log into my accounts, and writing out my To Dos. I can actually feel it in my chest. I've had the same routine for over a year now: Wake up and run to my computer (there could be an unplanned meeting, a late blog post, a company announcement or press release. Run to the toilet and do my morning routine with my phone glued to my hand and my news feed open. Go back to work and get everything checked on all of the accounts, write publish any blog related content, send out promotions or direct-post content. Starve until afternoon when I can finally take a 10 minute break. Go back to work and do everything I couldn't do in the morning because of the instant unplanned To Dos. Try to finish everything by COB CST, only to end up going over 5pm. Break for dinner and exercise. Do end of day work, and prep for next day--sometimes til after midnight.
There wasn't a single day that I wasn't afraid that I would miss something. If I went off without service on a Sunday and there was an emergency with a client, I could be chewed out (and it only happened once). I only got paid for a set amount of hours, even if I was thinking about it and prepping constantly.
I was most upset at first by how Seth would react--he's obsessed with money. Did he fail me? Nope. I told him, after I was laid off via Google Talk while in an employment agency. He got angry, then upset. So upset that his boss sent him home and he couldn't even carry an encouraging or supporting conversation with me, and had to just go to bed (at 3pm).
It's hard, but I think I'm supposed to be relaxing now. I really could use some encouragement though!