Sunday Reveries: Stronger
Photo prompt
As strongly as Charlie can hate, he can also love. He doesn’t know which is stronger in him because he hates a great deal but he is more willing to love.
He loves Ted. Ted understands the Hell he went through because Ted went through it too. Ted went through it twice. No one else understands that sort of Hell except for Ted. Charlie loves Ted for that.
He loves Connie. Connie didn’t understand Hell, but she did understand freedom. Connie understood what freedom means to people and what it means to him. She fought like an avenging angel to free him from Hell, raise him out of the Pit. Even though she has turned her back on him now, no longer his lawyer, no longer his angel, she still understands freedom. Charlie loves Connie for that.
He loves Jen. She reminds him of all the good in his life before prison. Jen understands who he used to be and just what prison did to him. Those few kisses, few touches and one night, she had touched him like he was the man he used to be. He had not felt like that man, nor could he even be that man again, but Jen had treated him like he was. Charlie loves Jen for that.
He loves all the girls he has brought home after getting out. All of them. They had just been fun and Charlie had needed fun at the times they came into his life. They were uninhibited, wild, and up for anything. That is why they came home with him, Charlie Crews, who was innocent but no one really believed it. They had let him have fun with them. Charlie loves them for that.
All these loves are equal to his hate though. Sometimes Ted reminds him of prison and he hates that. Sometimes Connie reminds him of betrayal and he hates that. Sometimes Jen reminds him of the past and he hates that. Sometimes the girls remind him of how broken he is and he hates that. For all the love these people bring, they also bring hate.
The only love that overcame his hate, drowned it out and washed him clean, was his love for Reese. His love for Reese is so strong because she encompasses all of what makes him love other people. She understands Hell because she had been through her own with the drugs. She understands freedom because of getting clean.
She does not know the man he was and only treats him like the man he is, like he’s always been this man and that is a freedom in itself. He has fun with her, using Zen to make her glare at him or sharing facts on fruit. Those moments are fun, simple and pure and he loves them. He loves her for giving him these things, understanding these things and accepting them.
He will always love Reese for encompassing all the things he loves, all the things he is. When her hate, for herself, for the world, is strong his love for her will be stronger. He does not know if his love or hate is stronger in himself, but he knows he is stronger with her.
As strongly as Charlie can hate, he can also love. He doesn’t know which is stronger in him because he hates a great deal but he is more willing to love.
He loves Ted. Ted understands the Hell he went through because Ted went through it too. Ted went through it twice. No one else understands that sort of Hell except for Ted. Charlie loves Ted for that.
He loves Connie. Connie didn’t understand Hell, but she did understand freedom. Connie understood what freedom means to people and what it means to him. She fought like an avenging angel to free him from Hell, raise him out of the Pit. Even though she has turned her back on him now, no longer his lawyer, no longer his angel, she still understands freedom. Charlie loves Connie for that.
He loves Jen. She reminds him of all the good in his life before prison. Jen understands who he used to be and just what prison did to him. Those few kisses, few touches and one night, she had touched him like he was the man he used to be. He had not felt like that man, nor could he even be that man again, but Jen had treated him like he was. Charlie loves Jen for that.
He loves all the girls he has brought home after getting out. All of them. They had just been fun and Charlie had needed fun at the times they came into his life. They were uninhibited, wild, and up for anything. That is why they came home with him, Charlie Crews, who was innocent but no one really believed it. They had let him have fun with them. Charlie loves them for that.
All these loves are equal to his hate though. Sometimes Ted reminds him of prison and he hates that. Sometimes Connie reminds him of betrayal and he hates that. Sometimes Jen reminds him of the past and he hates that. Sometimes the girls remind him of how broken he is and he hates that. For all the love these people bring, they also bring hate.
The only love that overcame his hate, drowned it out and washed him clean, was his love for Reese. His love for Reese is so strong because she encompasses all of what makes him love other people. She understands Hell because she had been through her own with the drugs. She understands freedom because of getting clean.
She does not know the man he was and only treats him like the man he is, like he’s always been this man and that is a freedom in itself. He has fun with her, using Zen to make her glare at him or sharing facts on fruit. Those moments are fun, simple and pure and he loves them. He loves her for giving him these things, understanding these things and accepting them.
He will always love Reese for encompassing all the things he loves, all the things he is. When her hate, for herself, for the world, is strong his love for her will be stronger. He does not know if his love or hate is stronger in himself, but he knows he is stronger with her.