sin título part 2/?
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Title: sin título part 2/?
Pairing: Pepa/Silvia
Rating: almost R/18 or one level above the previous chapter in explicitness.
Disclaimer: Please, if I owned these characters I'd never have had to write this. No infringement meant, I make no profit, etc. Written with great respect to the actors who did an brilliant job portraying that other ending. No offence is meant to them in changing things around a little.
Spoilers: OMG yes. Where have you been?
Part 1 is here
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Part two
When I woke up the morning after the funerals, it was still dark. I felt sore and drained, my head ached from crying, and the points of incision just below my ribs throbbed painfully. Trying not to change position too much, I carefully reached out and fumbled on the bedside table for the pain medication, brought two tablets back, and swallowed them dry. Pepa's long, strong arms were still looped loosely around me from when she’d fallen asleep holding me close to her. I could feel the soft press of her breasts against my back and the heat of her body radiate through me. The parts of me touching her felt like the only parts of me that didn't hurt.
I didn't want to move and I lay in the circle of her arms, pressed tightly to her, for a long time. I could feel the slow rhythmic thudding of her heart against my shoulder blade and the whisper of her breath ruffling my hair. I closed my eyes, tried to concentrate on the joy of being close to my wife and not think about everything that had transpired in the past 7 days, but it was difficult to force the images out of my head. They returned like ghosts, unwelcome, swirling around haunting me and not allowing me to rest. It was probably fortunate that I didn't hold a clear recollection of many of the details of what had happened in the cellar or the moments before, but I did remember being afraid, realising with terror that there was nothing else that could be done. I remembered Papa and Pepa singing to me and I remembered watching the tears slide down her cheeks as I stared at her beautiful face. I remembered looking into her eyes and thinking with every tiny bit of energy that remained in me of how much I loved her, and then the world went black.
Pepa shifted in her sleep behind me. Her arms tightened and the movement brought me temporarily back to the present. I tried to focus my wandering mind and thought back to the first time I'd ever woken up her arms. I'd been afraid then too but it was a different kind of fear, fuelled not by pain but by an anxious anticipation of the unknown, and tempered by the sweetness of the realisation that I'd never before felt such a perfect moment or felt so complete, as if I'd spent my entire life trying to find a place where I fit and had stumbled upon it in the most unexpected way.
There was nothing about the night before that morning that hadn't amazed me. I couldn't help but smile when I recalled how my heart had raced as I'd tilted my head up and placed that first light tentative kiss against her lips. It was beating so loud and strong that I'd thought even Papa in the next room must have heard it trying to force its way from my chest. I remembered my legs growing weak as our kisses grew deeper, and the look of sheer delight she gave me as she led me down the dark hall to the tiny guest room at the back of my sister's house, where she slowly undressed me and pressed me back onto the bed. I remembered I'd never felt so wanted in a way that had felt so right and I never could have imagined that one day I'd find myself like that, lying in her bed making love with her, lost in the feel of her smooth skin sliding against me and of her soft mouth tenderly kissing every sensitive spot on my body.
Eventually the sky began to lighten and streams of light broke through the curtains and brightened the room. Pepa stirred behind me and I heard the shift in her breathing as she woke. She bent her head and her lips brushed the side of my neck.
"Are you awake, pelirroja?" She whispered, her breath warm on my ear.
"Sí"
"How do you feel?"
"I'm...." I wasn't sure how to answer.
She lifted her arm and began to stroke my hair. “Do you need anything, cariño? Are you cold? Thirsty? Do you need help to get up?”
“No, I just want you to hold me.”
She didn’t answer with words, but she curled tighter around me. She reacted instantly, but her movements were slow and calculated and I could tell she was trying to avoid brushing against bruises or spots that might be causing me pain. She tucked her knees up behind mine and slid her arm down so that she could take my hand. I laced our fingers together and brought our entwined hands up to my lips to kiss before bringing them close to hold against my chest.
I tried to take myself back into the happy memories I’d been reliving but it was difficult. Reality had set in again. I wondered if there would ever be carefree days for us again. I hoped someday we could take the honeymoon we’d not taken. Tears began to swell behind my closed eyelids. We were supposed to be there right now, on the island off the coast of Chile, watching the sun rise on the beach, swimming together in the ocean, or making love in the cottage or under the stars, not here mourning our friends.
Their faces began to flash through my mind. I thought of Gonzalo, such a kind person, whose child had for three and a half months grown inside me. I thought of Kike, who’d always joked with me about being the other redhead. He’d been so happy to watch us get married and to be asked to participate. I thought of Nelson, who in a year had become a part of all of us too. And I also thought of poor Rita, who a day before that awful day had pulled me aside and giggled as she excitedly whispered in my ear, “I’m in love with Gonzalo, and he kissed me!”
I felt guilty that I was safe and they were not, that they’d come to that place for me and it had cost them their lives. In my head I knew that the location was mere convenience and that they’d have found us anywhere, but it was difficult to think rationally when the emotions were so raw. I knew in time the sharpness of the pain would fade, but I knew it would never truly go away. I didn’t want it to, because I didn’t want them to be forgotten.
The medication had begun to work and I grew relieved as I began to feel groggy and pleasantly numb. I drew a deep breath, rested my cheek on the back of Pepa’s hand, and let it take over and pull me back to sleep.
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