For the Love of Snack, Part II
For the love of Snack, part II
A really big post of art and drabbles, so take your time ;)
Artists: canonfodder123, xterm, tripperfunster, matyas_adina, electromoon, hill_, and ebonyserpent
Authors: themostepotente, mulberryfields, jeannie81, _lore, eeyore9990, and lucilla_darkate
Rating: G to NC17
Warnings: Oral, anal, foodsmut, cross-dressing, slight bestiality, urination, hatesex, hairy men, bondage, "crating", dirty grey underwear, and big-haired!Sirius (I can't help it)
canonfodder123: It must be love ♥
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themostepotente: iron chef hogwarts
For hill_
It was just another pissing contest designed as a culinary competition.
Snape suspected the competition was fixed, having been pitted against his greatest enemy, Sirius Black.
The man was notorious for botching the simplest of dishes.
Snape hated Lupin just as much, but at least he would have provided a challenge. Black was just as hopeless in the kitchen as he was in the classroom, even if he was inexhaustible in the bedroom, the mangy cur.
The game's celebrity host, Wolfbane Puck, had given them the secret ingredient: chocolate panache. Snape's specialty was a seven-layered torte, but he thought a well-made tiramisu would put Black to shame.
Each contestant was given thirty minutes to impress. Snape made good use of his time by multitasking, soaking ladyfingers in espresso, grinding fresh nutmeg, and shaving chocolate. He was utterly dumbfounded when after fifteen minutes Black waved at him from behind a Daily Prophet.
Black hadn't lifted a finger.
Five minutes before the one-minute warning bell, Black casually laid down his paper and stripped off his clothes. He made good use of his ingredients too, decorating his naked torso with confectionary goodness. Black had even gone so far as to make an arrow pointing downward with a handful of ladyfingers.
Black's display was stupid and immature, and damned if Snape wasn't sorry he hadn't thought of it himself.
Defeated, Snape declared Black the winner and escorted him off the stage.
At least the loser got to sample the other's dessert.
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xterm: Black gives Snape a Practical Application of the Petrificus Totalus Curse
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tripperfunster: Snape as Cupid and Black as Psyche
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themostepotente: disco fucks
For sinick
Black's room was a pilgrimage to the seventies; splashes of glam, goth, and disco left behind from his teenage years - memories of what Snape might've called a misspent youth.
It was ironic how Severus Snape had spent his entire life trying to forget the past while Sirius Black had done everything to relive his.
It was perhaps stranger still how a bout of insomnia found Snape in Black's room one night at Grimmauld Place, the night before Christmas.
Azkaban, it seemed, had robbed Black of everything but his mind. And even that was suspect. It was every excuse for Snape's wanting to leave the room in disgust, had he not felt a sense of morbid curiosity.
It was this curiosity that displaced his introversion, allowing Black to paint him up like a tart and dress him in sequined frocks and colourful boas.
Where Snape usually shied away from mirrors, he couldn't stop staring at his reflections, using the mirrored disco ball to catch all two hundred fifty of them.
'All dressed up and no one to blow.' That had been Black's excuse to coax Snape out of his clothes, insistent upon Snape's leaving his platforms on while they fucked.
For six hours. In a haze of patchouli incense and velvet fluorescence.
The morning after proved somewhat more of an embarrassment than the actual tryst, however, when Arthur came calling unexpectedly.
Never mind that their cocks were dangling freely, Arthur was much too artless to read anything into that. He had only to look at Black's 'I'm With Stupid' and Snape's 'Stupid's With Me' t-shirts to question their wearing them.
"You two shagged each other rotten, didn't you?"
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matyas_adina: Suits you more than black, Snape
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hill_: Captive
For lysa1
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matyas_adina: "I hope you don't bite, Black"
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hill_: Good Mor...oh fuck you.
"You're not a morning person, are you Black?"
"Oh, like you are, Snape?"
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mulberryfields: Not About Sirius
Kitchen table of Grimmald Place; they were fighting as usual. Black had ended by saying that it was all about Snape and his bitterness and rage; not a bit about Sirius himself. And Snape felt more bitterness and more rage, and ended by pouring himself a drink and denying it all.
And then he saw Black’s ridiculous blue eyes drop to watch his lips move, and he moved those lips closer and covered Black’s mouth with his, just to see what would happen; and then he wanted to sink teeth into Black, to mark him, and he could hear harsh breath and see the accelerate throb of pulse in the soft hollow of that neck as he started the work of biting and nipping and sucking.
He felt hands slide down his ribs, his hips, his legs, as Black knelt in front of him, and it seemed he’d never known what desire was before. He spread his legs slightly and felt fingers on him, and a warm mouth, and he was quickly panting. And his hips and arse were held by strong arms and kneaded by strong hands. Sirius. He wouldn’t say the name yet, too soon and too eager, he would let this pleasure be the only thing he needed, let his moans be about these physical sensations alone, not about the man himself. Not about Sirius. He opened his legs further and grasped the curls tightly to keep from thrusting into his mouth, and couldn’t stop a cry from escaping when he came.
And they didn’t speak of it the next day or the day after that, and he left Grimmald Place when told to and didn’t come back until he was called by the order again. And when he was called, it didn’t matter that Black’s ridiculous blue eyes caught his own in the common room or that Black brushed against him when they walked. Because it was war, and it was about the enemy, and it was about the Order. And he would be there when called, and it wasn’t about Sirius, it was about duty; it wasn’t about Sirius at all.
"he could hear harsh breath and see the accelerate throb of pulse in the soft
hollow of that neck as he started the work of biting and nipping and sucking."
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electromoon:
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jeannie81: Some like it hot
It was scorching. Even after casting several cooling charms over the house, Sirius couldn’t help but melt, sprawling bonelessly on his sofa, wishing he could emigrate to somewhere cold, like Iceland maybe. Or maybe he could run up a bath filled with ice. He was seriously considering locking himself in the freezer when Severus walked in and chilled him to his bones. No, that wasn’t right; there was one part of him that was heating up rather quickly.
Severus was eating an ice-lolly. It might’ve been Sirius’ slightly overheated imagination, but he was eating it somewhat obscenely.
“Rather hot weather we’re having isn’t it Black?” he heard, but he couldn’t stop focusing on the wet, pink tongue that was swirling around the thick, yellow, green and red lolly in a way that should’ve been illegal for all intents and purposes. Sirius mumbled something unintelligible, while Severus sat on the couch next to him, licking and slurping away, oblivious to the effect he was having on Sirius.
“This may be the best ice cream I’ve ever eaten,” Severus said, in-between slurps. “You should taste some.” He said, but made no move whatsoever as to offering his lolly.
“Where’d you get it?” Sirius managed to ask.
“From Fortescue’s. I recently developed a cooling potion that keeps your whole body chilled for six hours. They bought the formula and managed to create this ice cream with it. These are doing so well, they sent me a summer’s worth in gratitude. It’s just my luck too, because the potion tasted hideous, even though it worked perfectly.”
Severus suddenly stood up, took the whole lolly in his mouth and sucked hard, hollowing out his cheeks and keeping it there without his hands. An unbearable flare of heat shot through Sirius at the sight, pooling at his groin, where he was sure his brain had fled, making him fidget uncomfortably in his seat.
And as if things couldn’t get worse, Severus took off his robes, revealing nothing but the hardly concealing black silk boxer-briefs he was wearing. Sirius was so shocked he choked.
“Wha-, What are you doing!?” he yelled, almost shooting out his seat.
“You should feel my skin. The potion adapts to every temperature change, regulating the skin accordingly. It doesn’t actually change the blood temperature though, so it’s like having your own personal weather suit.”
Severus plonked back on the sofa, now nibbling the top of his ice cream.
“C’mon Black, touch me.” He said and Sirius knew he was doomed. He was harder than a totem pole at that moment and he was certain that if he touched even the most neutral part of Severus’ skin, he would either immediately come so hard he’d wandlessly make stars, or he’d fuck Severus through the sofa until they both saw stars.
Even though both options were as appealing as they were terrifying, Sirius couldn’t in good conscience copulate with the same wizard he’d been at odds with for over twenty years. So he would just sit there and pretend nothing excruciatingly hot was happening right next to him. Because if he didn’t look, Severus might go away right? Too bad he couldn’t help but stare.
“Oh for Merlin’s sake, Black!” Severus huffed. He shifted towards Sirius, took both his hands and placed them on his sides.
Sirius groaned in pure delight. Severus’ skin was chilly to the touch, but it was also smooth and firm. In the haze his mind was in, he couldn’t avoid roaming the almost cold planes of Severus’ skin, lingering slightly at those tasty looking nipples. Luckily, Severus didn’t seem to mind, if the humming sounds he was making was any indication.
The longer he touched, the bolder he became. He was currently stroking Severus’ abs with his stubbly cheeks and it felt wonderful. His left hand was rubbing just under Severus’ navel, hesitating to go lower, lest he get hexed within an inch of his life. But he needn’t have worried, because a moment later a hand joined his and another tangled gently in his hair. Sirius just had to look up, wondering where the ice cream was, but apparently Severus had finished it, because he was looking down lustfully at Sirius, without even the lolly stick in sight.
“I’m really cool down there as well, Black.” Severus smirked, but Sirius lifted up to kiss him slowly, trying to get all the lingering traces of the ice lolly, leaving only his own taste in Severus’ mouth. He caught the grunts and moans their wandering hands produced, having reached their destination and steadily stroking Severus’ cock to completion. Severus’ skin and the noises he was making were driving Sirius crazy. He kept licking that delicious skin, giving special attention to those nipples he’d been coveting ever since they made their entrance, until the hand on his head tightened and Severus came with a sigh that seemed to echo through the room.
When Severus came down from his high, while Sirius was still trying to get as close to him as possible, he said: “If you want, I’ve got some more ice cream in the freezer.”
Sirius’ hands roamed lower until it reached the cleft of Severus’ arse.
“I think there’s one more place I should check, if we really want to prove the potion’s validity.”
Severus laughed. And Sirius? He didn’t really mind things heating up anymore.
Art by tripperfunster, photo ref used
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hill_: Illustration for Hurts So Good by eeyore9990
"Severus closed his eyes, breathing deep, trying to bring his passions under control. Unfortunately, Sirius had no such desire and reached up, dragging his ragged fingernails down Severus’ chest, drawing long, bloody streaks in his flesh."
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themostepotente: part and parcel
Snape's always touted the importance of being well travelled.
When he's heard that Black's not been to many places, he devises a scheme to remedy this. After all, even a senseless shallow prick should see the treasures of the world outside his bedroom door.
The box Black's been packaged in is just big enough to accommodate his six foot frame. The package is too heavy to send via owl, so it's carried to each of its destinations by hippogriff. In a month's time, the parcel's surface is shiny with stickers; Black's been everywhere from Albania to Zimbabwe.
Snape also knows that with travel comes homesickness, and most of his colleagues and acquaintances are good enough to send Black home to him once he's been devirginised destination-wise.
On the 24th of December, Snape receives his Christmas present from Igor Karkaroff. It's Black, trussed and dressed in holiday velvet (or so Igor's letter says), the stamp of Bulgaria the final notch on Black's travel belt.
But Igor is a clever and horrible man, adorning the parcel with a sticker of a different sort: Do not open until Christmas morning.
It's maddening, Severus thinks, but he's never one to break with tradition.
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canonfodder123: Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
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hill_: Illustration - For Want of a Cigarette by lucilla_darkate
"Snape hissed and tightened his fingers in Sirius’ hair. Encouraged, Sirius took
more of it into his mouth, sliding his tongue along the underside.."
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themostepotente: running hot and cold
For snegurochka_lee
Snape always hates when Black invades his morning shower. Snape sees no reason to share.
Black is not a morning person, you see, and so he likes his water ice cold, even after three cups of strong coffee. He'll do whatever it takes to rouse himself from the depths of somnolence.
Snape likes his shower water hot. He needs the scalding temperature to rid himself of Black's filthy stench, always from a nightly tumble between sweat soaked sheets.
But he's tired of fighting with Black. He's tired of following up with spells to regulate the water's temperature, oftentimes alternating between hot and cold until the pipes threaten to burst.
Today, he resigns himself to sit at the drain, arms and legs crossed in defeat, shivering uncontrollably.
And just when Snape thinks he's about as miserable as he can be, warm streams waken his numb limbs. He tilts his head back to lavish in the feel only to find Black standing over him.
Pissing.
It's vile and degrading, and it shouldn't stir what he feels when they fuck. But it does. That mangy cur is marking him. Making Snape his property. Making Snape's cock hard.
When the warmth subsides and the cold returns, Snape finds himself wishing that Black had taken that fourth cup of coffee.
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ebonyserpent: A Better Use for Levicorpus
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hill_: Spooky
"What the hell do you keep staring at, Black? You're starting to creep me out..."
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mulberryfields: Beastly Dilemma
Ever since he had returned from the veil as Padfoot, Sirius’ transformations had been unpredictable. He sometimes slipped into dog form without meaning to, and once it had happened, he was stuck there for a while. On the positive side, Snape had adapted a Dogsbane Potion that enabled Sirius to maintain his human mind with a little effort. If Snape practiced a gentle Legilimency, they were able to manage a decent level of telepathic communication during these difficult times.
There were moments, though, when Padfoot would still take over entirely.
Mmm …Snape! Rub leg …
“Sirius! Concentrate. You’re slipping into Padfoot again.”
Oh, god, sorry. That’s so embarrassing. I’m all right now. What were we talking about?
“Remus.”
Oh, right. The thing is, I think Remus has always been attracted to me. Now that I’m spending so much time as a dog, I’m afraid that when he’s a wolf, things could get weird.
“Weird?”
You know. His instincts could take over.
“Well, he has been watching us more closely than usual - especially as the full moon approaches.”
Rub Snape leg … Mmm …
“Black! You’re doing it again. You’re slipping into Padfoot.”
No, no, sorry - that was me, I just got distracted.
“Sirius, stop it. I told you - we’re not doing that while you’re a dog.”
A low growl in the doorway startled them; Remus, in wolf form. They both tensed. Snape carefully reached his mind towards the wolf to read its thoughts, and received a clear message.
Mate. MINE.
“Black, you had better get off me. He thinks you’re his mate.”
Oh, hell. I had no idea it had gone that far.
They separated slowly. The wolf padded up to Snape, who was still seated. Snape spread his hands, palms upward, in a placating gesture, and inclined his head towards Sirius. “I’m not a threat,” he said aloud, trying to telepathically convey the same message. The wolf tilted its head and gave a small whine. It nudged Severus’s leg with its muzzle and began licking his inner thigh.
“OH!” Snape’s head fell back. “Ah …” He closed his eyes.
Hey!
“I think … uuuuh … aaaaaahhh….” The wolf had nudged his robes aside and was nuzzling and licking farther up, the long tongue leaving wet trails.
Hey! SNAPE!
“Oooooh - I think we may have had it the wrong way around, Black. Uh, stop, Remus,” he slurred halfheartedly, his hands dropping limply to the sides of the chair.
Padfoot growled and tensed, crawling closer to the chair. Snape gave a start and sat up. “Sirius! Don’t! He’s dangerous!”
Yeah. You looked really - SCARED, there. You bastard.
“He just took me by surprise!” Snape’s eyes were still slightly unfocused.
The wolf wasn’t happy at being interrupted. A low sound rumbled in his throat.
Sirius growled back. He’s mine.
“Pardon me? Yours? I am by no m-”
He was interrupted by the disturbingly quiet growls of two canines with bared teeth. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Black. You’re supposed to be retaining your human mind!”
Sure. Take HIS side. He has Wolfsbane, doesn’t he? What about HIS human mind? Why are you defending HIM?
“This is ridiculous. I am not defending him. You just -” he was momentarily distracted by the enormous tongue that was now lolling out of the werewolf’s mouth. “You just, uh …”
You piece of shite! With ME it’s all, ‘not while you’re in dog form.’ But the first proper WOLF who comes along and shows a little interest …
Snape snickered. “You’re jealous.”
Of course I’m jealous! You let him lick your thighs right in front of me! You let him lick your -
“Be reasonable, Black. I hardly let him. He’s a fully transformed werewolf. What did you expect me to do?”
Um … maybe not enjoy it so much?
Snape had the grace to look ashamed. “Well … he took me by surprise, and it was a purely physical reaction.” He turned to the wolf. “He’s right, you know, you DO have Wolfsbane. Are you in there, Remus?”
The wolf growled threateningly again, and Snape and Black exchanged a nervous glance. Mine … Mate. Snape heard the primal thoughts again, and the animal put its head on his knees.
“No, no, wait a minute now - I’m sure I actually saw Remus take the potion yesterday. There can’t have been anything wrong with it. I made it, as always, myself.” There was silence for a moment. “You are in there. Aren’t you, Remus.”
Another couple of seconds of silence. Well … yes.
Black was outraged. What? You’re faking being out of your human mind to threaten me and try to steal my lover? You’re supposed to be my best friend!
“Er - he can’t really understand you, Black. I can only sense your thoughts because I’m a Legilimens.”
So Black simply glared at Remus, who looked defiant.
You were always so shitty to him when we were young. It was worth a try.
“He can’t understand you, Remus.”
Oh, right. Well - Snape - sorry about that. It was just simpler than approaching you as a human being.
“You didn’t have to do it when Sirius was here.”
I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU, SNAPE!
“I know, I know, Black, don’t get excited - I just meant that he need not have upset you.”
”Upset me? You think there’s some way that maybe this would not upset me? What about friendship? What about honesty? And what about his relationship with -”
The armchair on which Snape had been sitting suddenly began to squiggle and change shape, and its arms slid downwards in a way that was almost -
“NYMPHADORA!”
“Wotcher, Snape! Nice arse,” said the upholstery-clad woman who was now grinning into his face as he sat in her lap on the floor, one of her hands patting him approvingly.
“I hope you have come to retrieve your animal,” Snape said frostily.
“There’s no need to act so high and mighty, Severus. When I was a chair, shifting around ever so subtly, I could feel perfectly well just how much you enjoyed it. Don’t even bother pretending you thought that armchair was insentient.”
Sirius’s dodgy transformative trigger, perhaps inspired by the armchair’s metamorphosis, shifted him back to human form. He looked at Snape, hurt. “You were having a thing with the armchair?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“The truth hurts, doesn’t it, Snape?” Tonks asked breezily. “Well, luv,” she said to Remus, “I think I’d better drag you back home after all.” She stood, straightening her clothing, and gave Sirius a conspiratorial grimace. “Wolfsbane or not, he still gets a little indiscriminate during that time of the month.”
Snape glowered. “I beg your pardon.”
“Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist, Severus. I just meant he’s a bit wild for new people during the full moon. And what with the tail and all, the logistics can get a bit tricky.” She made her teeth briefly long and shiny, and smiled a huge, wicked smiled at them both. “We’ll be back when he’s human.” She slipped out the door before they could answer, Remus trotting beside her. “Both of us.”
Snape looked at the closed door uncertainly, and then at Sirius. “What was that supposed to mean?”
“I think it means we’re going to have our hands full tomorrow.”
Snape placed his hands on Sirius’s hips. “Meanwhile, I see that you’re human again.”
Sirius drew Snape closer and pressed against him. “Finally noticed, did you? Would you like to play a game? Do you want me to pretend to be a wolf?”
“Shut up.”
“Or an armchair?”
“Just shut it.”
Sirius slid against him and drew his hands through Snape’s hair and down his neck. “Come on, Snape, let’s play a game. Let’s pretend that we have twelve hours to figure out the mechanics of an orgy with a werewolf and a metamorphmagus; and that in order to prepare, we need lots and lots of practice.”
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_lore: Summer of Possibility
It was summer. It was summer and Sirius Black had somehow found him, mercifully alone at Spinner's End. Himself, mother, father, all worked different shifts, and today Severus had the house to himself - a few hours peace before rows over dinner and rude Muggles at the apothecary for which Severus stocked. The sun was uncharacteristically shining, which only made Sirius Damn Black look even more like the bronzed Greek god the preening sod already knew he was.
"Shove off, Black. I have no idea how you found your way here, but I do not have to endure your attempts on my life while classes are not in session." Severus tried to close the door in Sirius' face, but the other boy was quicker, knocking him aside as he darted into the cool darkness of the Snapes' home.
Severus pulled his wand, prepared to cast an Unforgivable if Sirius so much as blinked wrong. The near-murder was only a few months old and Severus was still having nightmares.
"I knew you were a half-blood. My family never spoke of yours, not even when they were gossiping about the poorer clans." Sirius leaned against the wall in the entryway, not venturing farther into the house, but with his arms crossed over his chest and a smug look on his face that Severus imagined erasing by pouring acid over it. Oh, yes, the perfect flesh was bubbling and melting away quite satisfactorily in his mind's eye.
"I could Obliviate you where you st-"
"Snape!" Sirius stepped forward and Severus took a step back to compensate, wand up, but carefully out of the other boy's reach. "Look, I need your help." Insolence had been replaced by a wary countenance, and there was a flicker of something in Sirius' eyes that gave Severus pause despite the anger churning in his gut.
"I cannot imagine a reality in which I would consent to help the likes of you." Severus straightened his spine and prepared to petrify Black so he could throw him out of the house properly. He had grown since they had last faced off and Severus was nearly as tall as Sirius now.
Sirius began speaking quickly, as if he knew his mouth was thisclose to being filled with plaster. "The Potters are trying for another baby this summer. I need to find a place of my own. Money won't be a problem, but I've never done- er- much of anything in the Muggle world."
A flurry of questions hit Severus all at once, curiosity outweighing his need to banish Sirius' clothes and chuck him into the street. Questions barked out of Severus at a rapid pace: "Why would the Potters wish to inflict more of their offspring on the world now? Why would that preclude you moving? What does your boyfriend think of you leaving? Did you have a falling out? Why on earth would you want to live among Muggles?"
Severus had stepped closer again, studying Sirius as if he were a bug to be dissected. Sirius was hit with the full force of the menacing presence Severus was unknowingly developing, and answers began to stutter out of him without much thought.
"The exchange rate is in my favour right now - I can stretch my inheritance farther if I buy a Muggle flat. James and I are fine, but his mother's obsessed and everyone is tense and- Hey, James is not my boyfriend, Snivellus!"
Sirius surged away from the wall and managed to pin Severus by the throat against the opposite one, sick to death of the humiliation of having to come to Slimy Snape for help just because no one wanted to upset Remus with the truth. The Potters had found out they were a target and they knew it wouldn't hurt to have another heir in times like these. They were pushing Sirius out, just as fast as they could in hopes of keeping him safe, and had offered to set him up, but Sirius had more pride than that.
"I don't care if he's your fucking French maid and follows you around in nothing but a frilly apron!" Severus was struggling now, squirming and gasping, white-hot outrage blinding him to the fact that he still had his wand. "M'not going to help, s- s- get ouhh-"
Realizing he was choking the silly arse, Sirius released the pressure he was applying to Severus' neck, but he didn't step back. Helping the Potters by showing them he could manage on his own was too important to him, even if he really didn't know which end was up when it came to setting up a flat.
"I'll. Do. Anything." Sirius spoke through his gritted teeth, through a throat trying to bite off every word. He had been over his options a hundred times and Snape was his best choice. Besides, the other boy really hadn't been so hard to take after Sirius' colossal moment of insanity, telling him how to get into the shack.
Anything? Severus was gaping as if Sirius was still cutting off his air. It was another trick; it had to be. "Anything" was a very tempting proposition, but there was no way he could trust-
Severus grew still and stared into Sirius' pale eyes, trying to clear his mind. Over the past year, Severus had discovered that if he looked into someone's eyes too long, he would almost fall into that person's mind, seeing images of the person's day, memories, fears...whatever was on the surface of his or her thoughts. He knew instinctually that what he saw was real, not illusions or projections but actual images that the person had experienced. The library had not yet yielded what could be happening to him, and he was determined not to reveal his advantage.
He held Sirius' gaze and ...."Snape, I will call him Snape"...Potter watches his parents. He is scared...A woman, older with black hair, who could have been attractive if her face wasn't screaming obscenities...Severus in the hall at school, not hexing him, not saying a word..."Anything"...Sirius on his knees, parting dark robes, placing his face.... he felt the truth of it all.
Severus blinked. His hand was gripping Sirius' chin. "Very well. I will help you. But you will give me anything, Black. And I have a very vivid imagination."
Sirius felt like he had just lost a piece of himself without a fight, but the look in Severus' eyes told him that maybe he wouldn't have minded losing so much after all.
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ebonyserpent: "Did You Say, 'Fetch My Knickers?'"
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Comments are love
A really big post of art and drabbles, so take your time ;)
Artists: canonfodder123, xterm, tripperfunster, matyas_adina, electromoon, hill_, and ebonyserpent
Authors: themostepotente, mulberryfields, jeannie81, _lore, eeyore9990, and lucilla_darkate
Rating: G to NC17
Warnings: Oral, anal, foodsmut, cross-dressing, slight bestiality, urination, hatesex, hairy men, bondage, "crating", dirty grey underwear, and big-haired!Sirius (I can't help it)
canonfodder123: It must be love ♥
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themostepotente: iron chef hogwarts
For hill_
It was just another pissing contest designed as a culinary competition.
Snape suspected the competition was fixed, having been pitted against his greatest enemy, Sirius Black.
The man was notorious for botching the simplest of dishes.
Snape hated Lupin just as much, but at least he would have provided a challenge. Black was just as hopeless in the kitchen as he was in the classroom, even if he was inexhaustible in the bedroom, the mangy cur.
The game's celebrity host, Wolfbane Puck, had given them the secret ingredient: chocolate panache. Snape's specialty was a seven-layered torte, but he thought a well-made tiramisu would put Black to shame.
Each contestant was given thirty minutes to impress. Snape made good use of his time by multitasking, soaking ladyfingers in espresso, grinding fresh nutmeg, and shaving chocolate. He was utterly dumbfounded when after fifteen minutes Black waved at him from behind a Daily Prophet.
Black hadn't lifted a finger.
Five minutes before the one-minute warning bell, Black casually laid down his paper and stripped off his clothes. He made good use of his ingredients too, decorating his naked torso with confectionary goodness. Black had even gone so far as to make an arrow pointing downward with a handful of ladyfingers.
Black's display was stupid and immature, and damned if Snape wasn't sorry he hadn't thought of it himself.
Defeated, Snape declared Black the winner and escorted him off the stage.
At least the loser got to sample the other's dessert.
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xterm: Black gives Snape a Practical Application of the Petrificus Totalus Curse
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tripperfunster: Snape as Cupid and Black as Psyche
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themostepotente: disco fucks
For sinick
Black's room was a pilgrimage to the seventies; splashes of glam, goth, and disco left behind from his teenage years - memories of what Snape might've called a misspent youth.
It was ironic how Severus Snape had spent his entire life trying to forget the past while Sirius Black had done everything to relive his.
It was perhaps stranger still how a bout of insomnia found Snape in Black's room one night at Grimmauld Place, the night before Christmas.
Azkaban, it seemed, had robbed Black of everything but his mind. And even that was suspect. It was every excuse for Snape's wanting to leave the room in disgust, had he not felt a sense of morbid curiosity.
It was this curiosity that displaced his introversion, allowing Black to paint him up like a tart and dress him in sequined frocks and colourful boas.
Where Snape usually shied away from mirrors, he couldn't stop staring at his reflections, using the mirrored disco ball to catch all two hundred fifty of them.
'All dressed up and no one to blow.' That had been Black's excuse to coax Snape out of his clothes, insistent upon Snape's leaving his platforms on while they fucked.
For six hours. In a haze of patchouli incense and velvet fluorescence.
The morning after proved somewhat more of an embarrassment than the actual tryst, however, when Arthur came calling unexpectedly.
Never mind that their cocks were dangling freely, Arthur was much too artless to read anything into that. He had only to look at Black's 'I'm With Stupid' and Snape's 'Stupid's With Me' t-shirts to question their wearing them.
"You two shagged each other rotten, didn't you?"
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matyas_adina: Suits you more than black, Snape
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hill_: Captive
For lysa1
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matyas_adina: "I hope you don't bite, Black"
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hill_: Good Mor...oh fuck you.
"You're not a morning person, are you Black?"
"Oh, like you are, Snape?"
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mulberryfields: Not About Sirius
Kitchen table of Grimmald Place; they were fighting as usual. Black had ended by saying that it was all about Snape and his bitterness and rage; not a bit about Sirius himself. And Snape felt more bitterness and more rage, and ended by pouring himself a drink and denying it all.
And then he saw Black’s ridiculous blue eyes drop to watch his lips move, and he moved those lips closer and covered Black’s mouth with his, just to see what would happen; and then he wanted to sink teeth into Black, to mark him, and he could hear harsh breath and see the accelerate throb of pulse in the soft hollow of that neck as he started the work of biting and nipping and sucking.
He felt hands slide down his ribs, his hips, his legs, as Black knelt in front of him, and it seemed he’d never known what desire was before. He spread his legs slightly and felt fingers on him, and a warm mouth, and he was quickly panting. And his hips and arse were held by strong arms and kneaded by strong hands. Sirius. He wouldn’t say the name yet, too soon and too eager, he would let this pleasure be the only thing he needed, let his moans be about these physical sensations alone, not about the man himself. Not about Sirius. He opened his legs further and grasped the curls tightly to keep from thrusting into his mouth, and couldn’t stop a cry from escaping when he came.
And they didn’t speak of it the next day or the day after that, and he left Grimmald Place when told to and didn’t come back until he was called by the order again. And when he was called, it didn’t matter that Black’s ridiculous blue eyes caught his own in the common room or that Black brushed against him when they walked. Because it was war, and it was about the enemy, and it was about the Order. And he would be there when called, and it wasn’t about Sirius, it was about duty; it wasn’t about Sirius at all.
"he could hear harsh breath and see the accelerate throb of pulse in the soft
hollow of that neck as he started the work of biting and nipping and sucking."
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electromoon:
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jeannie81: Some like it hot
It was scorching. Even after casting several cooling charms over the house, Sirius couldn’t help but melt, sprawling bonelessly on his sofa, wishing he could emigrate to somewhere cold, like Iceland maybe. Or maybe he could run up a bath filled with ice. He was seriously considering locking himself in the freezer when Severus walked in and chilled him to his bones. No, that wasn’t right; there was one part of him that was heating up rather quickly.
Severus was eating an ice-lolly. It might’ve been Sirius’ slightly overheated imagination, but he was eating it somewhat obscenely.
“Rather hot weather we’re having isn’t it Black?” he heard, but he couldn’t stop focusing on the wet, pink tongue that was swirling around the thick, yellow, green and red lolly in a way that should’ve been illegal for all intents and purposes. Sirius mumbled something unintelligible, while Severus sat on the couch next to him, licking and slurping away, oblivious to the effect he was having on Sirius.
“This may be the best ice cream I’ve ever eaten,” Severus said, in-between slurps. “You should taste some.” He said, but made no move whatsoever as to offering his lolly.
“Where’d you get it?” Sirius managed to ask.
“From Fortescue’s. I recently developed a cooling potion that keeps your whole body chilled for six hours. They bought the formula and managed to create this ice cream with it. These are doing so well, they sent me a summer’s worth in gratitude. It’s just my luck too, because the potion tasted hideous, even though it worked perfectly.”
Severus suddenly stood up, took the whole lolly in his mouth and sucked hard, hollowing out his cheeks and keeping it there without his hands. An unbearable flare of heat shot through Sirius at the sight, pooling at his groin, where he was sure his brain had fled, making him fidget uncomfortably in his seat.
And as if things couldn’t get worse, Severus took off his robes, revealing nothing but the hardly concealing black silk boxer-briefs he was wearing. Sirius was so shocked he choked.
“Wha-, What are you doing!?” he yelled, almost shooting out his seat.
“You should feel my skin. The potion adapts to every temperature change, regulating the skin accordingly. It doesn’t actually change the blood temperature though, so it’s like having your own personal weather suit.”
Severus plonked back on the sofa, now nibbling the top of his ice cream.
“C’mon Black, touch me.” He said and Sirius knew he was doomed. He was harder than a totem pole at that moment and he was certain that if he touched even the most neutral part of Severus’ skin, he would either immediately come so hard he’d wandlessly make stars, or he’d fuck Severus through the sofa until they both saw stars.
Even though both options were as appealing as they were terrifying, Sirius couldn’t in good conscience copulate with the same wizard he’d been at odds with for over twenty years. So he would just sit there and pretend nothing excruciatingly hot was happening right next to him. Because if he didn’t look, Severus might go away right? Too bad he couldn’t help but stare.
“Oh for Merlin’s sake, Black!” Severus huffed. He shifted towards Sirius, took both his hands and placed them on his sides.
Sirius groaned in pure delight. Severus’ skin was chilly to the touch, but it was also smooth and firm. In the haze his mind was in, he couldn’t avoid roaming the almost cold planes of Severus’ skin, lingering slightly at those tasty looking nipples. Luckily, Severus didn’t seem to mind, if the humming sounds he was making was any indication.
The longer he touched, the bolder he became. He was currently stroking Severus’ abs with his stubbly cheeks and it felt wonderful. His left hand was rubbing just under Severus’ navel, hesitating to go lower, lest he get hexed within an inch of his life. But he needn’t have worried, because a moment later a hand joined his and another tangled gently in his hair. Sirius just had to look up, wondering where the ice cream was, but apparently Severus had finished it, because he was looking down lustfully at Sirius, without even the lolly stick in sight.
“I’m really cool down there as well, Black.” Severus smirked, but Sirius lifted up to kiss him slowly, trying to get all the lingering traces of the ice lolly, leaving only his own taste in Severus’ mouth. He caught the grunts and moans their wandering hands produced, having reached their destination and steadily stroking Severus’ cock to completion. Severus’ skin and the noises he was making were driving Sirius crazy. He kept licking that delicious skin, giving special attention to those nipples he’d been coveting ever since they made their entrance, until the hand on his head tightened and Severus came with a sigh that seemed to echo through the room.
When Severus came down from his high, while Sirius was still trying to get as close to him as possible, he said: “If you want, I’ve got some more ice cream in the freezer.”
Sirius’ hands roamed lower until it reached the cleft of Severus’ arse.
“I think there’s one more place I should check, if we really want to prove the potion’s validity.”
Severus laughed. And Sirius? He didn’t really mind things heating up anymore.
Art by tripperfunster, photo ref used
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hill_: Illustration for Hurts So Good by eeyore9990
"Severus closed his eyes, breathing deep, trying to bring his passions under control. Unfortunately, Sirius had no such desire and reached up, dragging his ragged fingernails down Severus’ chest, drawing long, bloody streaks in his flesh."
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themostepotente: part and parcel
Snape's always touted the importance of being well travelled.
When he's heard that Black's not been to many places, he devises a scheme to remedy this. After all, even a senseless shallow prick should see the treasures of the world outside his bedroom door.
The box Black's been packaged in is just big enough to accommodate his six foot frame. The package is too heavy to send via owl, so it's carried to each of its destinations by hippogriff. In a month's time, the parcel's surface is shiny with stickers; Black's been everywhere from Albania to Zimbabwe.
Snape also knows that with travel comes homesickness, and most of his colleagues and acquaintances are good enough to send Black home to him once he's been devirginised destination-wise.
On the 24th of December, Snape receives his Christmas present from Igor Karkaroff. It's Black, trussed and dressed in holiday velvet (or so Igor's letter says), the stamp of Bulgaria the final notch on Black's travel belt.
But Igor is a clever and horrible man, adorning the parcel with a sticker of a different sort: Do not open until Christmas morning.
It's maddening, Severus thinks, but he's never one to break with tradition.
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canonfodder123: Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
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hill_: Illustration - For Want of a Cigarette by lucilla_darkate
"Snape hissed and tightened his fingers in Sirius’ hair. Encouraged, Sirius took
more of it into his mouth, sliding his tongue along the underside.."
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themostepotente: running hot and cold
For snegurochka_lee
Snape always hates when Black invades his morning shower. Snape sees no reason to share.
Black is not a morning person, you see, and so he likes his water ice cold, even after three cups of strong coffee. He'll do whatever it takes to rouse himself from the depths of somnolence.
Snape likes his shower water hot. He needs the scalding temperature to rid himself of Black's filthy stench, always from a nightly tumble between sweat soaked sheets.
But he's tired of fighting with Black. He's tired of following up with spells to regulate the water's temperature, oftentimes alternating between hot and cold until the pipes threaten to burst.
Today, he resigns himself to sit at the drain, arms and legs crossed in defeat, shivering uncontrollably.
And just when Snape thinks he's about as miserable as he can be, warm streams waken his numb limbs. He tilts his head back to lavish in the feel only to find Black standing over him.
Pissing.
It's vile and degrading, and it shouldn't stir what he feels when they fuck. But it does. That mangy cur is marking him. Making Snape his property. Making Snape's cock hard.
When the warmth subsides and the cold returns, Snape finds himself wishing that Black had taken that fourth cup of coffee.
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ebonyserpent: A Better Use for Levicorpus
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hill_: Spooky
"What the hell do you keep staring at, Black? You're starting to creep me out..."
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mulberryfields: Beastly Dilemma
Ever since he had returned from the veil as Padfoot, Sirius’ transformations had been unpredictable. He sometimes slipped into dog form without meaning to, and once it had happened, he was stuck there for a while. On the positive side, Snape had adapted a Dogsbane Potion that enabled Sirius to maintain his human mind with a little effort. If Snape practiced a gentle Legilimency, they were able to manage a decent level of telepathic communication during these difficult times.
There were moments, though, when Padfoot would still take over entirely.
Mmm …Snape! Rub leg …
“Sirius! Concentrate. You’re slipping into Padfoot again.”
Oh, god, sorry. That’s so embarrassing. I’m all right now. What were we talking about?
“Remus.”
Oh, right. The thing is, I think Remus has always been attracted to me. Now that I’m spending so much time as a dog, I’m afraid that when he’s a wolf, things could get weird.
“Weird?”
You know. His instincts could take over.
“Well, he has been watching us more closely than usual - especially as the full moon approaches.”
Rub Snape leg … Mmm …
“Black! You’re doing it again. You’re slipping into Padfoot.”
No, no, sorry - that was me, I just got distracted.
“Sirius, stop it. I told you - we’re not doing that while you’re a dog.”
A low growl in the doorway startled them; Remus, in wolf form. They both tensed. Snape carefully reached his mind towards the wolf to read its thoughts, and received a clear message.
Mate. MINE.
“Black, you had better get off me. He thinks you’re his mate.”
Oh, hell. I had no idea it had gone that far.
They separated slowly. The wolf padded up to Snape, who was still seated. Snape spread his hands, palms upward, in a placating gesture, and inclined his head towards Sirius. “I’m not a threat,” he said aloud, trying to telepathically convey the same message. The wolf tilted its head and gave a small whine. It nudged Severus’s leg with its muzzle and began licking his inner thigh.
“OH!” Snape’s head fell back. “Ah …” He closed his eyes.
Hey!
“I think … uuuuh … aaaaaahhh….” The wolf had nudged his robes aside and was nuzzling and licking farther up, the long tongue leaving wet trails.
Hey! SNAPE!
“Oooooh - I think we may have had it the wrong way around, Black. Uh, stop, Remus,” he slurred halfheartedly, his hands dropping limply to the sides of the chair.
Padfoot growled and tensed, crawling closer to the chair. Snape gave a start and sat up. “Sirius! Don’t! He’s dangerous!”
Yeah. You looked really - SCARED, there. You bastard.
“He just took me by surprise!” Snape’s eyes were still slightly unfocused.
The wolf wasn’t happy at being interrupted. A low sound rumbled in his throat.
Sirius growled back. He’s mine.
“Pardon me? Yours? I am by no m-”
He was interrupted by the disturbingly quiet growls of two canines with bared teeth. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Black. You’re supposed to be retaining your human mind!”
Sure. Take HIS side. He has Wolfsbane, doesn’t he? What about HIS human mind? Why are you defending HIM?
“This is ridiculous. I am not defending him. You just -” he was momentarily distracted by the enormous tongue that was now lolling out of the werewolf’s mouth. “You just, uh …”
You piece of shite! With ME it’s all, ‘not while you’re in dog form.’ But the first proper WOLF who comes along and shows a little interest …
Snape snickered. “You’re jealous.”
Of course I’m jealous! You let him lick your thighs right in front of me! You let him lick your -
“Be reasonable, Black. I hardly let him. He’s a fully transformed werewolf. What did you expect me to do?”
Um … maybe not enjoy it so much?
Snape had the grace to look ashamed. “Well … he took me by surprise, and it was a purely physical reaction.” He turned to the wolf. “He’s right, you know, you DO have Wolfsbane. Are you in there, Remus?”
The wolf growled threateningly again, and Snape and Black exchanged a nervous glance. Mine … Mate. Snape heard the primal thoughts again, and the animal put its head on his knees.
“No, no, wait a minute now - I’m sure I actually saw Remus take the potion yesterday. There can’t have been anything wrong with it. I made it, as always, myself.” There was silence for a moment. “You are in there. Aren’t you, Remus.”
Another couple of seconds of silence. Well … yes.
Black was outraged. What? You’re faking being out of your human mind to threaten me and try to steal my lover? You’re supposed to be my best friend!
“Er - he can’t really understand you, Black. I can only sense your thoughts because I’m a Legilimens.”
So Black simply glared at Remus, who looked defiant.
You were always so shitty to him when we were young. It was worth a try.
“He can’t understand you, Remus.”
Oh, right. Well - Snape - sorry about that. It was just simpler than approaching you as a human being.
“You didn’t have to do it when Sirius was here.”
I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU, SNAPE!
“I know, I know, Black, don’t get excited - I just meant that he need not have upset you.”
”Upset me? You think there’s some way that maybe this would not upset me? What about friendship? What about honesty? And what about his relationship with -”
The armchair on which Snape had been sitting suddenly began to squiggle and change shape, and its arms slid downwards in a way that was almost -
“NYMPHADORA!”
“Wotcher, Snape! Nice arse,” said the upholstery-clad woman who was now grinning into his face as he sat in her lap on the floor, one of her hands patting him approvingly.
“I hope you have come to retrieve your animal,” Snape said frostily.
“There’s no need to act so high and mighty, Severus. When I was a chair, shifting around ever so subtly, I could feel perfectly well just how much you enjoyed it. Don’t even bother pretending you thought that armchair was insentient.”
Sirius’s dodgy transformative trigger, perhaps inspired by the armchair’s metamorphosis, shifted him back to human form. He looked at Snape, hurt. “You were having a thing with the armchair?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“The truth hurts, doesn’t it, Snape?” Tonks asked breezily. “Well, luv,” she said to Remus, “I think I’d better drag you back home after all.” She stood, straightening her clothing, and gave Sirius a conspiratorial grimace. “Wolfsbane or not, he still gets a little indiscriminate during that time of the month.”
Snape glowered. “I beg your pardon.”
“Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist, Severus. I just meant he’s a bit wild for new people during the full moon. And what with the tail and all, the logistics can get a bit tricky.” She made her teeth briefly long and shiny, and smiled a huge, wicked smiled at them both. “We’ll be back when he’s human.” She slipped out the door before they could answer, Remus trotting beside her. “Both of us.”
Snape looked at the closed door uncertainly, and then at Sirius. “What was that supposed to mean?”
“I think it means we’re going to have our hands full tomorrow.”
Snape placed his hands on Sirius’s hips. “Meanwhile, I see that you’re human again.”
Sirius drew Snape closer and pressed against him. “Finally noticed, did you? Would you like to play a game? Do you want me to pretend to be a wolf?”
“Shut up.”
“Or an armchair?”
“Just shut it.”
Sirius slid against him and drew his hands through Snape’s hair and down his neck. “Come on, Snape, let’s play a game. Let’s pretend that we have twelve hours to figure out the mechanics of an orgy with a werewolf and a metamorphmagus; and that in order to prepare, we need lots and lots of practice.”
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_lore: Summer of Possibility
It was summer. It was summer and Sirius Black had somehow found him, mercifully alone at Spinner's End. Himself, mother, father, all worked different shifts, and today Severus had the house to himself - a few hours peace before rows over dinner and rude Muggles at the apothecary for which Severus stocked. The sun was uncharacteristically shining, which only made Sirius Damn Black look even more like the bronzed Greek god the preening sod already knew he was.
"Shove off, Black. I have no idea how you found your way here, but I do not have to endure your attempts on my life while classes are not in session." Severus tried to close the door in Sirius' face, but the other boy was quicker, knocking him aside as he darted into the cool darkness of the Snapes' home.
Severus pulled his wand, prepared to cast an Unforgivable if Sirius so much as blinked wrong. The near-murder was only a few months old and Severus was still having nightmares.
"I knew you were a half-blood. My family never spoke of yours, not even when they were gossiping about the poorer clans." Sirius leaned against the wall in the entryway, not venturing farther into the house, but with his arms crossed over his chest and a smug look on his face that Severus imagined erasing by pouring acid over it. Oh, yes, the perfect flesh was bubbling and melting away quite satisfactorily in his mind's eye.
"I could Obliviate you where you st-"
"Snape!" Sirius stepped forward and Severus took a step back to compensate, wand up, but carefully out of the other boy's reach. "Look, I need your help." Insolence had been replaced by a wary countenance, and there was a flicker of something in Sirius' eyes that gave Severus pause despite the anger churning in his gut.
"I cannot imagine a reality in which I would consent to help the likes of you." Severus straightened his spine and prepared to petrify Black so he could throw him out of the house properly. He had grown since they had last faced off and Severus was nearly as tall as Sirius now.
Sirius began speaking quickly, as if he knew his mouth was thisclose to being filled with plaster. "The Potters are trying for another baby this summer. I need to find a place of my own. Money won't be a problem, but I've never done- er- much of anything in the Muggle world."
A flurry of questions hit Severus all at once, curiosity outweighing his need to banish Sirius' clothes and chuck him into the street. Questions barked out of Severus at a rapid pace: "Why would the Potters wish to inflict more of their offspring on the world now? Why would that preclude you moving? What does your boyfriend think of you leaving? Did you have a falling out? Why on earth would you want to live among Muggles?"
Severus had stepped closer again, studying Sirius as if he were a bug to be dissected. Sirius was hit with the full force of the menacing presence Severus was unknowingly developing, and answers began to stutter out of him without much thought.
"The exchange rate is in my favour right now - I can stretch my inheritance farther if I buy a Muggle flat. James and I are fine, but his mother's obsessed and everyone is tense and- Hey, James is not my boyfriend, Snivellus!"
Sirius surged away from the wall and managed to pin Severus by the throat against the opposite one, sick to death of the humiliation of having to come to Slimy Snape for help just because no one wanted to upset Remus with the truth. The Potters had found out they were a target and they knew it wouldn't hurt to have another heir in times like these. They were pushing Sirius out, just as fast as they could in hopes of keeping him safe, and had offered to set him up, but Sirius had more pride than that.
"I don't care if he's your fucking French maid and follows you around in nothing but a frilly apron!" Severus was struggling now, squirming and gasping, white-hot outrage blinding him to the fact that he still had his wand. "M'not going to help, s- s- get ouhh-"
Realizing he was choking the silly arse, Sirius released the pressure he was applying to Severus' neck, but he didn't step back. Helping the Potters by showing them he could manage on his own was too important to him, even if he really didn't know which end was up when it came to setting up a flat.
"I'll. Do. Anything." Sirius spoke through his gritted teeth, through a throat trying to bite off every word. He had been over his options a hundred times and Snape was his best choice. Besides, the other boy really hadn't been so hard to take after Sirius' colossal moment of insanity, telling him how to get into the shack.
Anything? Severus was gaping as if Sirius was still cutting off his air. It was another trick; it had to be. "Anything" was a very tempting proposition, but there was no way he could trust-
Severus grew still and stared into Sirius' pale eyes, trying to clear his mind. Over the past year, Severus had discovered that if he looked into someone's eyes too long, he would almost fall into that person's mind, seeing images of the person's day, memories, fears...whatever was on the surface of his or her thoughts. He knew instinctually that what he saw was real, not illusions or projections but actual images that the person had experienced. The library had not yet yielded what could be happening to him, and he was determined not to reveal his advantage.
He held Sirius' gaze and ...."Snape, I will call him Snape"...Potter watches his parents. He is scared...A woman, older with black hair, who could have been attractive if her face wasn't screaming obscenities...Severus in the hall at school, not hexing him, not saying a word..."Anything"...Sirius on his knees, parting dark robes, placing his face.... he felt the truth of it all.
Severus blinked. His hand was gripping Sirius' chin. "Very well. I will help you. But you will give me anything, Black. And I have a very vivid imagination."
Sirius felt like he had just lost a piece of himself without a fight, but the look in Severus' eyes told him that maybe he wouldn't have minded losing so much after all.
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ebonyserpent: "Did You Say, 'Fetch My Knickers?'"
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Comments are love