Tecolote
I took a train down to Tecolote. Tecolote Park is where my friend Rachel Z. lives, a condo overlooking a golf course with hiking trails nearby. It's so amazing that we've collectively as a group have been able to stay friends this long, across zip codes and county lines.
I really, really wanted to take this train ride. Typically, trips down to San Diego are through carpooling with Krystle from Long Beach, adding at least an hour to the drive but with company down, or via my own car, and I'll have you know that I don't particularly like putting miles on my car. My family normally rents cars for trips longer than 3 hours. But I was so excited to take this lone train ride because of the fact that I would be alone, and get the chance to check out with a book I checked out, but also to sight-see, and then to experience something new! I've never taken any train here in the US. I've only taken trains during my Eurotrip, and that was because it was quicker and commonplace rather than taking a plane between countries. I was apprehensive at the idea of traveling alone, and once I was on the bench waiting for the train, I was hyperaware of my surroundings as I've come to do lately. But, I noticed really friendly passengers helping other passengers with directions, sharing snacks with strangers, and it was such a nice, bit hot but still nice, sunny late morning. The trip started off super nice due to these indicators.
The trip was still pleasant once I boarded the Amtrak. I chose the first open seat on one of the cars, next to an older White lady. I usually seek out older ladies on when I ride public transportation because I feel like they would protect me, and I feel like they won't harm me, and I realized that this is a conscious decision I made when I used to take the Metro to and fro work. The lady proceeded to share with me that there were snacks at the back available to all, which I was delighted to learn, and which was unexpected to me especially because of the ongoing pandemic. I trusted her to leave my belongings, a small rolly bag, and my big carryall bag, and ventured to where the snackies where. There was coffee, OJ, pastries, protein bars, and more! They were all individually wrapped and I felt safe to consume, despite only mixing a hot coffee to bring back to my seat. I thought I would settle in, but saw a train car door, and remembered that people run through different train cars in the movies when they're bein chased. I asked the lady, "are we allowed to go to different train cars?" "Oh, sure!" I later decided I would see if there were more seats available after one of the doors opened and I noticed many open seats. I left my rolly bag atop, thinking I'd only be going in the next car, secured my coffee in my hand with my big purse bag, bid 'see you later' to the lady, and balanced my way to the other cars. Oops, it was business class, that's why it was empty. I must've gone through at least three other train cars when I just decided to sit next to another older lady, an Asian lady, but then her husband came back from the restroom and we were facing each other, and it just felt awkward and cramped, so I proceeded to another train car. This is all the while the train has been moving by the way. After one of the stops, I moved again and saw a group of four chairs facing each other, with a table, open! Yassss was the sentiment in my head. Before the train started moving again, a man asked if one of the seats across from me was taken and I motioned that it wasn't, so he took it. It wouldn't be a lone trip, after all.
I was waiting to get settled in more before whipping out my book. The man started to talk to me, and I probably in my end thought to myself whatever the equivalent of an eye roll is. But, of course, I'm always cordial and respectful. I probably thought it was customary to ask him back all the questions. I discovered that he was headed towards Oceanside, used to live in parts of LA too, and actually had lived all over. I was so interested in his life! He had several siblings, many, many grandchildren, and really lived. He'd lived near Davis after I told him about Viendi. He'd lived in Seattle, the South, even other countries. I learned that he served in teh army, and I'm sure he really had unique experiences there. He was visiting some of his siblings in Oceanside, the ones who were left, and their phone conversation seemed so fun hearing his side of responses. He was such a cheerful, joyful spirit and I truly had the pleasure to meet his acquaintance. Is that what the saying is?
More people joined to fill in the other two seats eventually, and we stopped talking. I took out my book, in between ooh'ing at the stops. I want to go down again and hop off at the cute beach towns. When I was reading my book of choice, the one that I held that happened to be available for pickup at LAPL, Between the World and Me, I would think of my fellow traveler. I will never understand, and I can take my own steps in my own way of becoming anti-racist. He must've gone through some true trials and tribulations in his life. He was so exuberant and it was really positive to see. He has had to live in this world with constraints and found joy where he could; how he could. He made a comment when he was on the phone with his sibling that implied that if he was speaking too loudly that he would get in trouble. What a shame. I'm reminded of all the privileges I've had and continue to reap in my life. The past year+ has been a real awakening, and an emotional one, that I am not where I want to be, and where I think I should be in terms of how I perceive others. I'm biased and racism is in me and to be aware of that is...something.
I wonder if I try because I *want* to or because I know I should be doing that. I understand that it's going to be a constant listening and learning, and maybe forever. I think I'm exception at the listening part but the next step when it comes to transcribing what comes in to compute something that goes out is the extremely difficult part. I don't know, but I know I don't know, and I'm willing.
I think this trip was supposed to happen, this book was supposed to be available, and I was meant to interact with this stranger. It was a really nice reflective ride down there and I appreciate the experience. Now, I just need to finish the book! It's so good, and too intelligent for me, so I have to keep re-reading until I at least think I can understand.
That was what I can remember from my train to Tecolote.