sweeter than wine, softer than a summer night
ap·pre·ci·a·tion
(e'-pre she-ash e'n) n. Awareness or delicate perception, especially of aesthetic qualities or values.
---
That first night I met you, a summer night after a summer day. I wore jeans and a tank top over my swimsuit with my chlorine hair back in a mess. The old poker table was set up in the garage with a shallow light shadowing the crowd of boys sitting all around the cards and chips. The girls were off building towers with the chips while I sat amidst the guys and gambled away money I didn’t have. I kept looking up at you when you weren’t watching, gazing at your smile and listening to your laugh echo into the warm summer air. I knew you were different that night; you already knew my name.
I didn’t know that night how much I would come to care for you,
how happy you would make me,
how much a part of my life you would become.
Patrick Yoneo Kawahara, always there to make me smile.
---
You give me confidence.
When I leave, I walk with my head a little higher, my face a little
more colored, and my heart a little warmer.
Brings back shadowed memories of those few years,
living in such confusion, acting out of sickness.
But now we’re living in the land of maturity,
and your conversation, your smiles, empower me.
And Doll, you don’t even know it.
---
I fell asleep on Caleb today in English.
“I’m flying, but a lot of people end up dead inside. You can’t tell to look at them but as soon as they open their mouths you now they’ve lost it.
They got murdered by life.” - Smack
And by asleep,
I mean,
thinking of him while closing my eyes.