(no subject)
So stuffs been good lately. Beth and Rob came over the other day after my meeting with CEI. I've been considering Massage Therapy or something of the sort that only takes a year and I get a certificate for. I dont want to spend another 4 years in school learning a bunch of bull shit. I want to go, get educated in what I want to do, and then GO DO IT. Not beat around it and learn al this other stuff with it for 4 years. I think its pointless. But yeah, I have another meeting with John tomorow at 330, dads comming b/c I think we're discussing financial aid and all that stuff. So Rob and beth came over and we hung out in my room cuz Jen was home. Robby feel asleep on me, he falls asleep everytime he's here. Hes so cute. I cant wait for friday. Everytime im around him there's a smile on my face. I cant help it. He just makes me all giddy and what not. Him and beth came to visit me at work today, he was stoned. He was all like I want to go visit steph at work. and beth was like .. ok... so they came in, he was wearing his old man hat. It's cute. it makes him look Scottish or something.
Bethany told me that Rob said to her that he thinks he loves me. That he feels different with me than with anyone else hes been with. I'm happy to hear that, but at the same tiime I dont know what to do. I feel the same, but I dont know if its just the fact that Hes someone new, and the relationship is still new and all that. I'm going to grow some balls and ask him out tomorow or friday. I keep saying Ill do it next time I see him, and I keep seeing him, and I have yet to do it. I dont want to hurt rob. Hes a great kid. I know if i get involved with him its going to last for a long time. Hs trying to change how he is so that I'll like him better. he says he doesnt do the whole MILF thing anymore, thats only because he started seeing me. Hes trying to cut back on beer, and weed. I dont know how well thats comming along. I really cant wait for friday though. Just to be able to lay next to him and hold him and not have to worry about dad walking in and saying wtf are you doing.
I bought a lot of cleaning supplies today for Cocoa. I bought him $1 laundry detergent as well. I spent 10 dollars on cleaning stuff for the boys, its funny. And i bought some cadbury creme eggs for myself :-D YUMM!!!! I also bought rob the electronic Sudoku that we have at work. He likes that game, so I bought him the electronic one, I hope he likes it. hes going to be like Oh man you bought me a present you shouldnt have blah blah blah! hes gunna be semi angry and tell me I didnt have to do that. and Im gunna give him a kiss and tlel him to shut up. Uepp yepp just like that.
I saw ben the other dya. It made me really happy. I wanted to cry in his room as i looked around saw how much of my life had passed by without him in it. How changed he was, and how changed hte room was. How I missed all of the changes. I missed everything. i know nothing about benjamin anymore, I know nothing of his frineds or life. And I really wanted to cry. I would have too.. I started to... A few tears went down and he said smethng from the toher room, i turned and had to suck everything up and blockit out and talk to him. I didnt want to bother him with my crying upon his return. Pat came downstairs right after that anyway.
I have to go to bed. Im so tired.
Night
I miss Kathleen!!!!!!
Bethany told me that Rob said to her that he thinks he loves me. That he feels different with me than with anyone else hes been with. I'm happy to hear that, but at the same tiime I dont know what to do. I feel the same, but I dont know if its just the fact that Hes someone new, and the relationship is still new and all that. I'm going to grow some balls and ask him out tomorow or friday. I keep saying Ill do it next time I see him, and I keep seeing him, and I have yet to do it. I dont want to hurt rob. Hes a great kid. I know if i get involved with him its going to last for a long time. Hs trying to change how he is so that I'll like him better. he says he doesnt do the whole MILF thing anymore, thats only because he started seeing me. Hes trying to cut back on beer, and weed. I dont know how well thats comming along. I really cant wait for friday though. Just to be able to lay next to him and hold him and not have to worry about dad walking in and saying wtf are you doing.
I bought a lot of cleaning supplies today for Cocoa. I bought him $1 laundry detergent as well. I spent 10 dollars on cleaning stuff for the boys, its funny. And i bought some cadbury creme eggs for myself :-D YUMM!!!! I also bought rob the electronic Sudoku that we have at work. He likes that game, so I bought him the electronic one, I hope he likes it. hes going to be like Oh man you bought me a present you shouldnt have blah blah blah! hes gunna be semi angry and tell me I didnt have to do that. and Im gunna give him a kiss and tlel him to shut up. Uepp yepp just like that.
I saw ben the other dya. It made me really happy. I wanted to cry in his room as i looked around saw how much of my life had passed by without him in it. How changed he was, and how changed hte room was. How I missed all of the changes. I missed everything. i know nothing about benjamin anymore, I know nothing of his frineds or life. And I really wanted to cry. I would have too.. I started to... A few tears went down and he said smethng from the toher room, i turned and had to suck everything up and blockit out and talk to him. I didnt want to bother him with my crying upon his return. Pat came downstairs right after that anyway.
I have to go to bed. Im so tired.
Night
I miss Kathleen!!!!!!