Hooters
Went to hooters today, it was fun. Ryan and AJ and Caitie came from bellingham and it was me, beth, rob, and techno masta P. haha It was fun time. I woke up at 730 and took a shower and what not and then made smoothie and then beth came over and we went to robs and walked to the station. I sat with Rob on the train. We cuddled and it was cute. I love the way he smells. Its like ciggaretts and leather... its a manly smell i guess haha. He has a cute face, i love when he smiles. I missed Ryan. Hes a dick and ignores me when I talk and all that but he is a nice boy and I did miss hanging out with him. didnt hang with him much though because those other kids were there and he was too busy doing stupid shit to bother talking to me. On top of that I dont think he was too happy that I was with Rob. Paul was rather cold so i let him wear my coat under his, it was a funny site. Rob told me I could have his if I got cold. I like how old fashioned and gentlemnly he is with things like that. Its cute.
after hooters we sat in the common for a few minutes then headed back to the train. Before that we went to Strawberrys and waklked around and looked at the big techno section. On the way home Rob fell asleep a few times. Then he came back to my house and hung out.We cuddled and watch the end of spider man and then we watched that 70's show. He giggles like a little girl. He makes me smile with everything he does. He has beautiful eyes that i could stare into for ever. We kissed for a while and he rubbed his hands around my body. Hes funny. He wont really feel me up or anything. When he starts to he stops and asks if its ok or if hes going too far. Its cute. He fell asleep on his side with his legs tangled in mine with his head on my shoulder. He woke up and I said he should go home and take a nap. He looked rahter confused and was like huh yeah... home dinner.. nap. i'll see you later and like got up in a sleepy haze.
Bethany and I went underwear shopping after that. I need some new undeis but like everyplace isnt selling undies like they used to. Wal MArt is a must. I bought a few bras and like 2 pairs of undies.
Going to the NOFX show Next friday, Rob asked today if I wanted to sleep at his place after since it will be kinda late. I told him sure. It's been so long since ive fallen asleep in anyones arms. I'm going to stay there once and then Im going to keep wishing that I can go back. I dont know. Its weird.
Ben comes home tomorow. I'm excited, I cant wait. He wants to hang out sunday when i get out of work, I dont know if i will or not. Hes probably going to forget anywya and run off to do something else. He does that to me like everytime. Its hard to beleive the changes that hes gone threw and what hes become. Hes not little ben anymore, hes a man. He left an immature scum bag, and well he's returning the same way, but he'll be more mature in most aspects. Wow. its been a good 6 years that ive known him. It makes me cry when I think about it. I'm not sure why. Maybe because he was my first real heartbreak. He was such a dick to me, yet so nice. He changed my life. I am what I am today because of Ben. He taught me many strengths and pointed out many weaknesses. I owe a lot to him, then again i owe him nothing. I was always there for him, he was never there for me. He apologized the other day for that. He wants me to live with him when they get their appartment. they being twinkie, ben and who knows who else. He syas he feels bad about all the years he was a dick and didnt apreciat me and that he didnt spend time with me,he says that If i live with them he feels like he would be making up for all that time. He thinks he can erase years of neglect by living with me. Well thats not how you change shit with me. theres no reason for it. I'm not going to be around anyway.
I'm going on a semi diet, I'm not going to eat after 8, I'm not going to eat accessive unneccessary amounts, and Im going to do some type of physical activity.
I must get in shape for the job i wish to take to bring in the cash for traveling.
SOOOO tired now though, so im off to bed.... <333
after hooters we sat in the common for a few minutes then headed back to the train. Before that we went to Strawberrys and waklked around and looked at the big techno section. On the way home Rob fell asleep a few times. Then he came back to my house and hung out.We cuddled and watch the end of spider man and then we watched that 70's show. He giggles like a little girl. He makes me smile with everything he does. He has beautiful eyes that i could stare into for ever. We kissed for a while and he rubbed his hands around my body. Hes funny. He wont really feel me up or anything. When he starts to he stops and asks if its ok or if hes going too far. Its cute. He fell asleep on his side with his legs tangled in mine with his head on my shoulder. He woke up and I said he should go home and take a nap. He looked rahter confused and was like huh yeah... home dinner.. nap. i'll see you later and like got up in a sleepy haze.
Bethany and I went underwear shopping after that. I need some new undeis but like everyplace isnt selling undies like they used to. Wal MArt is a must. I bought a few bras and like 2 pairs of undies.
Going to the NOFX show Next friday, Rob asked today if I wanted to sleep at his place after since it will be kinda late. I told him sure. It's been so long since ive fallen asleep in anyones arms. I'm going to stay there once and then Im going to keep wishing that I can go back. I dont know. Its weird.
Ben comes home tomorow. I'm excited, I cant wait. He wants to hang out sunday when i get out of work, I dont know if i will or not. Hes probably going to forget anywya and run off to do something else. He does that to me like everytime. Its hard to beleive the changes that hes gone threw and what hes become. Hes not little ben anymore, hes a man. He left an immature scum bag, and well he's returning the same way, but he'll be more mature in most aspects. Wow. its been a good 6 years that ive known him. It makes me cry when I think about it. I'm not sure why. Maybe because he was my first real heartbreak. He was such a dick to me, yet so nice. He changed my life. I am what I am today because of Ben. He taught me many strengths and pointed out many weaknesses. I owe a lot to him, then again i owe him nothing. I was always there for him, he was never there for me. He apologized the other day for that. He wants me to live with him when they get their appartment. they being twinkie, ben and who knows who else. He syas he feels bad about all the years he was a dick and didnt apreciat me and that he didnt spend time with me,he says that If i live with them he feels like he would be making up for all that time. He thinks he can erase years of neglect by living with me. Well thats not how you change shit with me. theres no reason for it. I'm not going to be around anyway.
I'm going on a semi diet, I'm not going to eat after 8, I'm not going to eat accessive unneccessary amounts, and Im going to do some type of physical activity.
I must get in shape for the job i wish to take to bring in the cash for traveling.
SOOOO tired now though, so im off to bed.... <333