over (please comment on my entries. i need all the feedback i can get)

[ketch_me]

pounding
my brain
with a hammer punchingmy stomachwith a fist touchingmy wastewith a palm taping my eyes shutturning the music upscreamingwith no sound hopelessly hopingfor deathno noonly torture endures footstepsapproaching a blank stare then it's over my wish came true