(no subject)
I haven't gone outside in 10 days except to go to the supermarket or to go to two interviews. I've showered twice purely because of the interviews. I haven't put on deodorant in two weeks. I haven't been drinking but I still wake up shaking and feeling hungover. I've just been sitting up reading stories from the Old Testament-Samson and Delilah, Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham and Issac, Moses coming down from Mount Sianna to his people worshiping a golden calf, etc... I find these stories quite entertaining. Kay comes back tomorrow. I feel like it's over and that I should accept this. I also feel like I should take a shower, make my bed, and throw away all the empty Hot Pockets wrappers before Brad comes. There is also a birthday party going on behind my building. People are screaming 80's songs at the top of their lungs. I wish I was drunk enough to go over there. I hate that this is my way of dealing with my problems, becoming incredibly miserly, reclusive, and throwing myself into books instead of doing something that may make me feel better.