abandonment issues
Bad habits never fucking die completely and everyone leaves.
I've been writing more poetry lately. I'm still picking like a mad woman. I'm considering hypnosis. I don't want to go on medication that stops compulsions because then what fun is life...I mean honestly. I'm trying to come to terms with my abandonment issues. Brothers = meet wives then write me out of their lives in almost every way imaginable. Oldies but goodies...all ended necessarily and learned from but missed at times and they all left. Iffy ran to his boo while I gather dust on my stagnant bewilderment. It's so funny how fast people can change. Cece's got about thirty different ideas and no real enthusiasm to see them through. Most of those plans lead her away from me as well. And in the transitional search for everything that's better and holds more promise I'm staying the same while all of my other peers flock to distant towns and/or states, living arrangements, lovely engagements etc. I've created a pace and a space that only I am comfortable with. I love it but I get quite lonely. Hell can, in fact, be other people...but I miss human interaction. Oh fuck I just don't know what I want. There. I typed it. Now what?
:*: Sweetness :*:
I've been writing more poetry lately. I'm still picking like a mad woman. I'm considering hypnosis. I don't want to go on medication that stops compulsions because then what fun is life...I mean honestly. I'm trying to come to terms with my abandonment issues. Brothers = meet wives then write me out of their lives in almost every way imaginable. Oldies but goodies...all ended necessarily and learned from but missed at times and they all left. Iffy ran to his boo while I gather dust on my stagnant bewilderment. It's so funny how fast people can change. Cece's got about thirty different ideas and no real enthusiasm to see them through. Most of those plans lead her away from me as well. And in the transitional search for everything that's better and holds more promise I'm staying the same while all of my other peers flock to distant towns and/or states, living arrangements, lovely engagements etc. I've created a pace and a space that only I am comfortable with. I love it but I get quite lonely. Hell can, in fact, be other people...but I miss human interaction. Oh fuck I just don't know what I want. There. I typed it. Now what?
:*: Sweetness :*: