over a year later...

[08_04_05]

i feel her love. but it scares me. i kno love is there 4 sure but...how real is it? how deep is it? is it just the love that i good friend puts out or is it more? is it the real deal? i love her. with all my heart. but im jus not sure if im loving to much. its crazy, the things i dream about.butterflies go crazy when i see her picture or...her voice! its breath-taking. im scared tho. i will be o.k. i kno that i have "loved" others and i have thought that i have been in love before but, have i really? or am i finally feeling it now? crying just because she says she loves me, when she tells me everything will be alrite, when she laughs, when i can tell she smiles when i call her, when she gets irritated at me but yet still calms down, takes a breath and says she loves me, when she giggles about little things we talk about, when i close my eyes...she's the one i still see, when i dream at nite my dreams are of her, and when i have a bad dream...i kno i can call her and she'll re-assure me that everything is cool. i want more. in a sense i couldnt ask for more, but i want more. i want more with her. i want to go to bed with her, wake up with her, go to a movie with her, i wanna live with her. day in and day out. i love her...im in love with her...oh my god. i think i wanna marry her!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its crazy how some things never change. i tried to run and hide, duck and cover, cause i got scared. i was loving to much. long after she was gone. i have changed as a person. but when it comes to her, most of all that i was before, is still the same. except im not as stupid! my mind is clear now so im all good. and i am waiting for her, still....even if i have to wait the rest of my life, my love, my tiger....THE GAS IN MY CAR!!!! (hehe...remember that one love?)