......
okay so not alot has happened within the past couple of weeks
mostly school, and work.... blah blah blah blah blah and so on
not really a teenager's normal life but i guess it will do
tomorrow makes 1 week since i lost my cat... it dont seem like a week has came and went by though he's gone
it makes it hard for me to walk out the door each day seeing my other 2 cats but not seeing him there..it hurts
god only knows how much i truely miss him..he was my only baby boy that i had. ='(
anyways moving on ---
so it's been a while since me and dustin broke up... at times it seems like i cant go on yet some how i am always pushing myself to keep going, to keep trying... that gets hard at times too. sometimes i find myself thinking does he really care about me? does he still love me? is the love he has for me more than just a friend or is that all we are is just really friends??
guess i will never know for sure... i want to ask him yet i know if i do then he'd get mad so i just more less keep those questions to myself.
One of these days your gonna love me
You'll sit down by yourself and think
About the times you pushed and shoved me
And what good friends we might've been
And then you're gonna sigh a little
Maybe even cry a little but
One of these days you're gonna love me.......... hopefully one of these days you'll realize just how much you mean to me and how hard it is for me to go through life without you, but until then i wish you all the happiness in the world!
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you.. but the truth is i DO love you.... you just dont love me the way i want you too, god only knows how my heart really feels all the emotions i've kept locked away deep inside of me.
i've wanted to ask you so many things, just to see what you'd say.. yet i know i'm only gonna keep them locked deep within my heart for the rest of my life..even until the day i'm gone.
hopefully once i'm gone you'll see and realize just what you meant to me.. i tried to be what you wanted me to be maybe it just wasnt good enough. My heart breaks because i cant tell you i love you and mean it like i should, even when you say it you dont say it like you should... so you may not care about any of this that i'm writing or saying.. yet i do
so you probably dont care that everytime i update this journal it's always going to be about you.. everything that i'm doing is all for you.. should i move on and stop thinking about you... no i wont and i cant
how can you possibly forget someone who has touched your life in more than just one way, it's impossible to do.. yeah so you may forget about me and you may not even care if i died tomorrow; but just so you know no matter what you decide to do for the rest of your life.. my heart belongs to you no one else can ever have my heart
you were the one i trusted and confided in, i gave you all of my love, i'd even give up my life for you.. if someone were to hold a gun up to you at this very second ( which we know is completely impossible but still say for instance) then i'd be the one to jump in front of you to take the bullet.. i'd give my life up just to see you happy.
your the one that needs to be happy.. so i may not be happy the rest of my life the only thing that matters in this life to me is YOU! Believe all of this or not..your decision but everything i'm saying is true and is coming from my heart I Love You
Tomorrow is the game against ervinton... heck yes cant wait it'll be a good game... then we play norton 2nd round... wow can already see it now Norton Killing Us Again!! Oh Well Dawgs it was good while it lasted
mostly school, and work.... blah blah blah blah blah and so on
not really a teenager's normal life but i guess it will do
tomorrow makes 1 week since i lost my cat... it dont seem like a week has came and went by though he's gone
it makes it hard for me to walk out the door each day seeing my other 2 cats but not seeing him there..it hurts
god only knows how much i truely miss him..he was my only baby boy that i had. ='(
anyways moving on ---
so it's been a while since me and dustin broke up... at times it seems like i cant go on yet some how i am always pushing myself to keep going, to keep trying... that gets hard at times too. sometimes i find myself thinking does he really care about me? does he still love me? is the love he has for me more than just a friend or is that all we are is just really friends??
guess i will never know for sure... i want to ask him yet i know if i do then he'd get mad so i just more less keep those questions to myself.
One of these days your gonna love me
You'll sit down by yourself and think
About the times you pushed and shoved me
And what good friends we might've been
And then you're gonna sigh a little
Maybe even cry a little but
One of these days you're gonna love me.......... hopefully one of these days you'll realize just how much you mean to me and how hard it is for me to go through life without you, but until then i wish you all the happiness in the world!
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you.. but the truth is i DO love you.... you just dont love me the way i want you too, god only knows how my heart really feels all the emotions i've kept locked away deep inside of me.
i've wanted to ask you so many things, just to see what you'd say.. yet i know i'm only gonna keep them locked deep within my heart for the rest of my life..even until the day i'm gone.
hopefully once i'm gone you'll see and realize just what you meant to me.. i tried to be what you wanted me to be maybe it just wasnt good enough. My heart breaks because i cant tell you i love you and mean it like i should, even when you say it you dont say it like you should... so you may not care about any of this that i'm writing or saying.. yet i do
so you probably dont care that everytime i update this journal it's always going to be about you.. everything that i'm doing is all for you.. should i move on and stop thinking about you... no i wont and i cant
how can you possibly forget someone who has touched your life in more than just one way, it's impossible to do.. yeah so you may forget about me and you may not even care if i died tomorrow; but just so you know no matter what you decide to do for the rest of your life.. my heart belongs to you no one else can ever have my heart
you were the one i trusted and confided in, i gave you all of my love, i'd even give up my life for you.. if someone were to hold a gun up to you at this very second ( which we know is completely impossible but still say for instance) then i'd be the one to jump in front of you to take the bullet.. i'd give my life up just to see you happy.
your the one that needs to be happy.. so i may not be happy the rest of my life the only thing that matters in this life to me is YOU! Believe all of this or not..your decision but everything i'm saying is true and is coming from my heart I Love You
Tomorrow is the game against ervinton... heck yes cant wait it'll be a good game... then we play norton 2nd round... wow can already see it now Norton Killing Us Again!! Oh Well Dawgs it was good while it lasted