To much to die for.
Wow I am really going against all the things I usually tell people. But see I usually say positive things to people because I feel that positive things will really happen to them. But for me I hardly ever see anything positive. I mean I don't know what to do anymore to be happy.
I just got a new job which is going to be awsome because I get to do business, and I'll be making alot more money than I ever thought I would at this age. And I hopefully will be getting my own place soon so that I will finally get to see what life is like on my own, with no family. But thats just not making me happy.
I mean I don't have any friends at all around me to help me out. All my friends are in different states and busy with their own lives. And the people that I do know here don't want to hang out with me. I mean I feel like some nerd or something that only plays on his computer, but I'm not. I just don't know how to meet people and make friends. I have no where to go in my city, and I don't know anyone that could give me advice on to where to go and shit like that.
I try so hard to, to make people happy, to be there for people when they need me. But when I need it.. its never there. I'm getting real sick of this shit. I have always been the kinda guy to go out of my way for someone. To help people and not expect them to pay me back somehow. I mean the only real payment I want is friendship or companionship. Ya so what I sound pathetic I dont give a fuck.
I'm sick of being the guy who writes all the time and begs to just try to get a girl to like him. I'm through with that shit. For now on I'm going to sit and work on my work and fix myself up and if ever someone see's me and thinks wow he might be a interesting guy than I'll talk to them. But I'm sick of going out of my way trying to be a nice guy and meet someone and then get pushed away or get the cold shoulder. If people don't fucking want me then just say so. I'm gonna keep my word tho that I gave to a person. After that I'm done with everything. I'm not saying anything I ever said in the past was a lie I'm just saying that I'm sick of being this needy geek like guy who does all these things to try to get someone to like him only to be shoved off.
So if anyone wants to talk to me for now on will just have to make there own move. I've got a life to live here and I'm tired of wasting my time trying to make people happy and they dont want my help at all.
Well thats that.
Maybe I was wrong all this time. Maybe hope is just some bullshit legend. Maybe love did die back with the greeks and the people of the old. Maybe there is nothing to really go for in life other than your own ambitions and dreams. Fuck love then. It is just a myth, its not real. I don't need it. I am fine being bymyself.
Fuck love.
~HAC
I just got a new job which is going to be awsome because I get to do business, and I'll be making alot more money than I ever thought I would at this age. And I hopefully will be getting my own place soon so that I will finally get to see what life is like on my own, with no family. But thats just not making me happy.
I mean I don't have any friends at all around me to help me out. All my friends are in different states and busy with their own lives. And the people that I do know here don't want to hang out with me. I mean I feel like some nerd or something that only plays on his computer, but I'm not. I just don't know how to meet people and make friends. I have no where to go in my city, and I don't know anyone that could give me advice on to where to go and shit like that.
I try so hard to, to make people happy, to be there for people when they need me. But when I need it.. its never there. I'm getting real sick of this shit. I have always been the kinda guy to go out of my way for someone. To help people and not expect them to pay me back somehow. I mean the only real payment I want is friendship or companionship. Ya so what I sound pathetic I dont give a fuck.
I'm sick of being the guy who writes all the time and begs to just try to get a girl to like him. I'm through with that shit. For now on I'm going to sit and work on my work and fix myself up and if ever someone see's me and thinks wow he might be a interesting guy than I'll talk to them. But I'm sick of going out of my way trying to be a nice guy and meet someone and then get pushed away or get the cold shoulder. If people don't fucking want me then just say so. I'm gonna keep my word tho that I gave to a person. After that I'm done with everything. I'm not saying anything I ever said in the past was a lie I'm just saying that I'm sick of being this needy geek like guy who does all these things to try to get someone to like him only to be shoved off.
So if anyone wants to talk to me for now on will just have to make there own move. I've got a life to live here and I'm tired of wasting my time trying to make people happy and they dont want my help at all.
Well thats that.
Maybe I was wrong all this time. Maybe hope is just some bullshit legend. Maybe love did die back with the greeks and the people of the old. Maybe there is nothing to really go for in life other than your own ambitions and dreams. Fuck love then. It is just a myth, its not real. I don't need it. I am fine being bymyself.
Fuck love.
~HAC