(no subject)
138 pounds today. The weight is coming off but if I want this to happen sooner, I'm really going to have to kick it up a notch. Everytime I let myself have even 100 calories more than I meant to, I get so angry at myself because I hate my body so much at the moment and the numbers on the scale. I hate the way I look in everything and trying to shop for clothes because nothing looks good on me. I should learn to take my medicationwhen I first wake up because I forgot to take it because I had a lot of things to do and the.guy I liked called and I went in panic attack and couldn't talk on the phone because I basically had a panic attack about the idea off talking to him. I was walking my dig when it happened and my heart start racing and I almost felt like I couldn't breath and I couldn't physically make myself talk. It just paralysed me. When I came back, I took my medication and tried to call him but he didn't call me back. Probably got mad that it took me a while to return his call. My anxiety is so bad sometimes, I can't even talk to prole. It really upsets me. I'm taking laxatives tonight. I just want to.