FIC: Smart (CSI:NY; AU; girl!Danny/boy!Lindsay)
Title: Smart
Author: Zelda Ophelia (zeldaophelia)
Fandom/Character: CSI:NY; girl!Danny/boy!Lindasy
Warnings: Genderbender
General info: Not mine; T
Summary: Smart girls did their job, stayed out of trouble, didn't get caught up in gangs - even if it practically was the family business - and most certainly did not find themselves pregnant. For debc's fandom_stocking.
Danny stared at the plastic wand on the counter, watching in disbelief as two pink lines appeared. It was not possible. She was a smart girl. Smart girls did their job, stayed out of trouble, didn't get caught up in gangs - even if it practically was the family business - and most certainly did not find themselves pregnant. Not by a co-worker. Whom they might have, in a fit of grief, cheated on. Sort of. If they were even still together at the time. She wasn't sure.
Smart girls also did not carry on internal monologues with themselves. Because they knew that was the first step towards talking to themselves and once that started they were beyond help.
Throwing the pregnancy test wand in the trash with what was probably more force than necessary, she walked back into her bedroom and fell backwards onto the bed. The bed they had shared more times than she could count, not to mention a few other surfaces around her apartment (and his) they'd christened. What could she say, the sex had been good. The sex had been beyond good, it was the rest of it that they'd had problems with.
Lindsay Monroe had tied her up in knots since the day he first joined to the team and held a tiger's mouth open, all Montana hard work ethic, open smiles and quiet strength. Montana was dependable. Montana had your back. Montana was a good boy. And Danielle Messer did not go for good boys. Because good boys wanted commitment. Good boys wanted to take you home to Ma. Good boys weren't wild or crazy and got a little boring once you got past the sex.
No, good boys were not for her.
At least not until Monroe appeared. Because Lindsay might be a lot of things, but he wasn't boring. Sex on the pool table had proven that fact. And he had cared for her after that Irish gang had done a number on her. Even after their fight over it - she knew he had blamed himself and it had taken a lot of yelling to remind him that she'd made the decision to take his shift, not the other way around.
That had been the first crack. Danny hadn't expected him to stick around after that and she hadn't hidden it either. Everyone left eventually, even Louie. And especially when things got tough. But Lindsay stuck through it, even when things got strained between them, and she began to think that maybe things were going to work out. They understood each other enough to get through it and all of those other platitudes.
But then Reuben had died.
Danny didn't grieve the way Lindsay had anticipated she would. She had actually expected more from Montana, knowing about what had happened to his friends, she thought he would understand. Then quickly learned she had expected too much. She needed someone to find her to grieve together, not someone who gave her space and waited for her to come to him. She needed someone else who was grieving too, not someone who was just sympathetic over her loss and guilt. That she had found that in Reuben's father Ricki wasn't something either of them had planned on, but for Danny comfort was a tactile thing. It wasn't just saying you're sorry about what happened, it was hugging and holding and if that led to something that helped them both forget for a while she welcomed it.
She and Lindsay drifted apart as a result. And when Lindsay had been hurt she forgot his birthday she realized it really wasn't about his birthday. Instead it had everything to do with how they were growing apart. Danny had no idea if he knew about Ricki. Or that he knew Ricki was the reason she had called. Ricki may have understood how to grieve with her, but he also understood that was they had was only going to hurt them even more in the long run. It wasn't a sustainable relationship, it wasn't a healthy relationship, there wasn't going to be a happily ever after for them. So Ricki had left - both the building and her life - and she called Lindsay. They cleared the air, including hearing some words she never thought she'd hear but in such a manner that hurt her to the core. Lindsay loved her, but didn't want to. Danny hadn't been that shaken, that scared in a long time and for a while after he hung up she was certain that they had ruined everything. Until Lindsay Monroe showed up at her door.
The make-up sex had been incredible. And maybe they had been a little too into each other, into the fact they were finally figuring it out, into getting over their problems that perhaps they'd forgotten an important little thing like a condom.
"Boom. Baby." Danny said to herself, swinging her legs back over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. So she was pregnant. She was a Messer, she could handle it. She'd need a doctor and appointments and vitamins and to talk to Mac about her work schedule.
But first she had to figure out how to tell Lindsay.
Author: Zelda Ophelia (zeldaophelia)
Fandom/Character: CSI:NY; girl!Danny/boy!Lindasy
Warnings: Genderbender
General info: Not mine; T
Summary: Smart girls did their job, stayed out of trouble, didn't get caught up in gangs - even if it practically was the family business - and most certainly did not find themselves pregnant. For debc's fandom_stocking.
Danny stared at the plastic wand on the counter, watching in disbelief as two pink lines appeared. It was not possible. She was a smart girl. Smart girls did their job, stayed out of trouble, didn't get caught up in gangs - even if it practically was the family business - and most certainly did not find themselves pregnant. Not by a co-worker. Whom they might have, in a fit of grief, cheated on. Sort of. If they were even still together at the time. She wasn't sure.
Smart girls also did not carry on internal monologues with themselves. Because they knew that was the first step towards talking to themselves and once that started they were beyond help.
Throwing the pregnancy test wand in the trash with what was probably more force than necessary, she walked back into her bedroom and fell backwards onto the bed. The bed they had shared more times than she could count, not to mention a few other surfaces around her apartment (and his) they'd christened. What could she say, the sex had been good. The sex had been beyond good, it was the rest of it that they'd had problems with.
Lindsay Monroe had tied her up in knots since the day he first joined to the team and held a tiger's mouth open, all Montana hard work ethic, open smiles and quiet strength. Montana was dependable. Montana had your back. Montana was a good boy. And Danielle Messer did not go for good boys. Because good boys wanted commitment. Good boys wanted to take you home to Ma. Good boys weren't wild or crazy and got a little boring once you got past the sex.
No, good boys were not for her.
At least not until Monroe appeared. Because Lindsay might be a lot of things, but he wasn't boring. Sex on the pool table had proven that fact. And he had cared for her after that Irish gang had done a number on her. Even after their fight over it - she knew he had blamed himself and it had taken a lot of yelling to remind him that she'd made the decision to take his shift, not the other way around.
That had been the first crack. Danny hadn't expected him to stick around after that and she hadn't hidden it either. Everyone left eventually, even Louie. And especially when things got tough. But Lindsay stuck through it, even when things got strained between them, and she began to think that maybe things were going to work out. They understood each other enough to get through it and all of those other platitudes.
But then Reuben had died.
Danny didn't grieve the way Lindsay had anticipated she would. She had actually expected more from Montana, knowing about what had happened to his friends, she thought he would understand. Then quickly learned she had expected too much. She needed someone to find her to grieve together, not someone who gave her space and waited for her to come to him. She needed someone else who was grieving too, not someone who was just sympathetic over her loss and guilt. That she had found that in Reuben's father Ricki wasn't something either of them had planned on, but for Danny comfort was a tactile thing. It wasn't just saying you're sorry about what happened, it was hugging and holding and if that led to something that helped them both forget for a while she welcomed it.
She and Lindsay drifted apart as a result. And when Lindsay had been hurt she forgot his birthday she realized it really wasn't about his birthday. Instead it had everything to do with how they were growing apart. Danny had no idea if he knew about Ricki. Or that he knew Ricki was the reason she had called. Ricki may have understood how to grieve with her, but he also understood that was they had was only going to hurt them even more in the long run. It wasn't a sustainable relationship, it wasn't a healthy relationship, there wasn't going to be a happily ever after for them. So Ricki had left - both the building and her life - and she called Lindsay. They cleared the air, including hearing some words she never thought she'd hear but in such a manner that hurt her to the core. Lindsay loved her, but didn't want to. Danny hadn't been that shaken, that scared in a long time and for a while after he hung up she was certain that they had ruined everything. Until Lindsay Monroe showed up at her door.
The make-up sex had been incredible. And maybe they had been a little too into each other, into the fact they were finally figuring it out, into getting over their problems that perhaps they'd forgotten an important little thing like a condom.
"Boom. Baby." Danny said to herself, swinging her legs back over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. So she was pregnant. She was a Messer, she could handle it. She'd need a doctor and appointments and vitamins and to talk to Mac about her work schedule.
But first she had to figure out how to tell Lindsay.