[Fic] Just Breathe

[yumi_maki]

Title: Just Breathe
Author: yumi-maki
Rating: T
Characters: Ino, little bit of Sakura (not-yuri)
Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Ino is a good girl. That is why those missions hurt her the most.
Comments: A lot of people seem to think poorly of Ino - I don't know why. This fic is kind of a response to that. Please comment

Comments

[scarlet_pencil]

T.T Wow. This is extremely well done. It really gets across the feeling that Ino is really trying hard to not think about it, not think about it, except she can't. And the way you depict Sakura and Ino's friendship is just beautiful. Awesome fic. ^_^

[wenchy_chan]

This is amazing.
Ino's not so bad.
Not one of my favorite characters, but you really seem to know the character well.
Friendship > everything.
:'DDD

[yumi_maki]

Thank you very much.

[sasunaru22]

Oh my god...this story was so moving...Honestly, it felt a little painful to read...In a way, it's something that a lot of people feel on a personal level..where rather than the fear of the actual incident itself, there is the absolute sense of fear that pervades you just with the thought of facing those people that you love. It's almost instinctual to be afraid of whether you will be accepted after something so tragic occurs. The expression of a mission like this, an experience like this, it fits something that often occurs in our society as well, and you've done a wonderful job to portray this

[yumi_maki]

Would you be able to add me as a friend? Of course! Your comments were...wow. I don't usually get reviews like that, then again, this is kind of my first story of this kind.

Thank you for commenting and feel free to friend me. Although you should know, most of my fics are still only on ff.net. If you'd like to read those, I use the same penname yumi_maki over there. Thank you again for your comments!

[helike]

Good job. It's a well written story which hits right points in a reader's heart.

[yumi_maki]

Thank you - I'm glad you liked it.

[dustbunny105]

Oh, cool, I partly inspired fic-- a good fic, at that!

I like the style you use here, cool and distant, with a sanitized feeling. Not exactly smooth but not at all jerky, which fits well with what Ino is feeling. It puts the reader in the same fuzzy there-not-there space that's getting Ino through the aftermath.

Your characterization is consistent and relative; Ino at the age of twelve recognized her body as a tool at her disposal, but knowing something and making use of that knowledge are two very different things, just like thinking something and meaning it (I'm not ashamed), which you portray well. And yet you still manage to relay the sense that while Ino here is still compartmentalizing this first mission, she will reach a point when she really can just Do It and Come Home. Oh, and I love that you've made Tsunade sympathetic, even apologetic, without having her coddle Ino or make a big deal out of what had to happen; Konoha may be a shinobi village that cuts its people a lot of slack if they're doing their jobs, but it is still

[yumi_maki]

I kept rereading that line - I was sure that there was a mistake there but I didn't know where it was. Thank you for pointing it out.

As for the: the kind of missions that only kunoichi can perform : well, I dunno, I find it hard to imagine any of the Konoha shinobi (using shinobi here to mean only male ninjas) that we know of using sex as a weapon...but perhaps others would.

Thank you for all your comments - they were quite insightful and you really seem to understand the piece. I'm really pleased about that.

[dustbunny105]

As for the: the kind of missions that only kunoichi can perform : well, I dunno, I find it hard to imagine any of the Konoha shinobi (using shinobi here to mean only male ninjas) that we know of using sex as a weapon...but perhaps others would.

See, that's something that kind of nibbles around the corners of my mind, the idea that the "dirty work" would only go to kunoichi; I don't mean to blanket you in a generalization, but that idea in general seems linked to the notion that a vamp=a woman. Is it really entirely plausible that every opportunity to use sex or sexuality to an advantage would deal with a heterosexual man?

[yumi_maki]

This might sound stupid but no, that's really never occurred to me. It just seems so unlikely to me. Like I said, it's not the idea that that would happen at all, just the thought of the shinobi that we actually know doing that (except maybe Sai - I don't thonk he'd really care).
I think you've got a point though. And I am certainly not trying to perpetuate any stereotypes about women though, honestly! I'm not trying to offend anybody.