Automated Lover
Title: Automated Lover
Author: xme_chanx
Pairings: Saga/Shou, Saga/Tora
Warnings: Manxman, manxrobot, your mom, slightly emo Saga
Disclaimer: Leave me alone! I own nothing and everyone is made up anyway… Similarities are totally accidental. *nod*
Summary: Loosely based on “Absolute Boyfriend” by Yuu Watase. Saga is alone and miserable until a love robot introduces complete chaos into his life. And why the hell is Tora so jealous of the Auto-Boy?
Author’s Notes: Pre-finals fluff. I felt like writing, so hey, I wrote. P.S. Business writing is killing me. With moushiagemasu’s. If I never see that phrase again, I shall die content.
1: That’s a HUGE…. box
“Loneliness… It kills more people every year than car crashes, boating accidents, fencing, and Frisbee golf combined.” A lanky brunette complained loudly. His current companion, a black-haired, slightly taller male just snorted.
“Fencing doesn’t kill. Besides, Saga, you could get a date if you wanted to, you just need to tell him how you feel.” The taller male nudged him, causing him to release a long sigh.
“Tora, I envy you your cavalier attitude about life. I’m going home, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Saga picked himself up off Tora’s couch and left. Since Tora lived next door, the walk home was neither long nor eventful.
Upon entering his apartment, Saga went straight to bed, moping until he fell asleep.
***
“Are you going to talk to him?” Tora whispered, poking Saga harshly with a pencil. The brunette frowned, eyes trained on his crush, merely meters away in the student union’s lobby. “Maybe…” he said doubtfully. The taller male rolled his eyes. “Saga, cut the crap and just ask him out already.” Saga sighed and stood up, looked meaningfully at Tora, then walked slowly to where his crush was seated, a few tables away.
“Hi, Yumehito, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some coffee with me, um, after Medieval history? Sometime,” Saga chewed his lip nervously as he waited for a response.
“Hi, Saga. I would, but I’m seeing someone. Sorry!” Yumehito smiled cheerfully and waved at the brunette, clearly dismissing him.
Saga turned sharply and strode back to Tora, who looked surprised and horrified. In any normal situation, the rejection would have been less brutal, or so he thought. But no, Yumehito had to shoot Saga down cold. “Saga, it’s ok,” Tora said softly. Saga looked up at him, obviously distraught.
“I’m going home. I’ll see you later,” he mumbled, packing his stuff into his bag and leaving.
***
Somehow, he ended up at a café, being harassed by a salesman named Nao. Nao sold “revolutionary tech products that revolutionize things” or so he said. Saga wasn’t really paying attention until Nao mentioned lover trouble.
“I have your attention now!” Nao cried, shoving a booklet at Saga. “Now, this is really important, this line is top-secret. It’s brand new, barely on the test market, but you seem like a good kid, so I’ll let you look at it.” Saga raised his eyebrow at the salesman’s use of ‘kid’ when Nao couldn’t have been any more than a few years his senior.
“Top secret, you say? What are they, blow up dolls?” the brunette asked dryly. Nao shook his head and grinned.
“It’s much better than that. They’re automated lovers.” Saga choked on his coffee and gave the salesman a disbelieving look.
“Here, see! You can even choose the size of their breasts, small, huge, however you want.” Nao smiled and handed the catalogue to Saga, who blushed slightly.
“Um, I don’t want a girlfriend… But thanks anyway,” he smiled and started to stand, but the salesman grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.
“All you had to do was say so, here’s a catalogue of our boy-toys.” Nao laughed raucously at his own joke, which only made the poor brunette turn a deeper shade of crimson.
Upon opening the first page, one face stood out among the rest. A kind-looking face, with large eyes, plush lips, dark blonde hair, and cute nose. Saga pointed at it, “That’s him. That’s the one I want.”
The salesman nodded. “He’s a cutie. Sign here, and we’ll go over the list of options.” Nao handed Saga a paper to sign and then pulled out a list of options for the Auto-Boy.
***
2 hours later, a very tired Saga fell into bed. He only dragged himself out of bed because Tora came by with some takeout.
“You look like shit.” The dark-haired male pointed out.
“Thanks. I needed that. What did you bring me?” Saga pointed at the bag in Tora’s left hand.
“Kimchi and fish bento.” The taller male grinned. Saga wrinkled his nose.
“You’re kidding right? That’s fucking disgusting. Get out, before you make my house smell!” the brunette tried shoving the taller male away but he merely laughed.
“Saga, it’s curry. Let me in and we can eat.” Tora ruffled the brunette’s hair and smirked. “Besides, you need to quit moping.” He said. Saga glared. “I wasn’t moping. I was getting ready for bed.” The brunette stuck out his tongue childishly.
***
After sleeping through his first class, Saga wanted nothing more than to simply stop existing. He knew he was overreacting, but he didn’t care. Tora had promised he’d bring dinner by again, so Saga decided he would simply rot in bed until then.
The doorbell rang, and he ignored it at first. He couldn’t ignore the insistent knocking however, and he got up, reluctantly put clothes on, and answered the door.
“Sakamoto Takashi?” Saga nodded at the delivery man. “Sign this.” The brunette complied once again, and thanked the man as he left. Saga frowned at the giant crate that was now occupying approximately half of his living room. SHOURAI TECH KABUSHIKIGAISHA* was emblazoned across the side of the crate, which the brunette thought was ominously looming at him.
He let out a soft sigh and began opening the cardboard monolith, wondering what an Auto-Boy love assistant really did. Saga gasped in surprise as he uncovered a human-looking boy-thing in the box.
His cell phone chose that minute to ring, and he answered crossly.
“SAGA! It’s Nao, how do you like him? He’s great huh? Have you already given him a test drive? I bet you have!” Nao snickered. Saga let out a sigh. “I just got him, he isn’t even out of the box. You didn’t tell me he was so…big.” The brunette said.
“You choose for him to have a large penis. That was one of the options you selected.” The salesman stated bluntly. Saga blushed, despite being alone.
“I didn’t mean his PENIS! I meant the whole unit… the body! He looks taller than me.” He finished.
“They’re life size! Anyway, get him started up and I’ll be by your place later to check on you kids. Ciao!” Nao hung up.
Saga sighed again and stared at the model he ordered. “Wow,” he breathed. Saga reached in to touch it, marveling at the realistic flesh. He blushed again when he noticed the automated boy was only wearing a tiny pair of shorts. “Let’s get you out of here,” he mumbled, dragging the auto-boy out of the box and onto the floor. The brunette grabbed the manual, deciding to go ahead and boot up the auto-boy. After all, what could it hurt?
*Future Tech Incorporated. Kabushikigaisha is just one of the useful things I learned in Business Writing in Japanese.
I started writing this because I have writer's block like WOAH and haven't even felt like touching anything I've been working on for weeks. This all was written today, and hopefully I can pop one out a day until the end of finals to keep me sane. Bear with the insanity, I live with it all the time.
I <3 comments and will pelt you with imaginary money if you give me comments. Firefox screws up my line breaks, but I am too lazy to fix it. If you really hate it, let me know and I will try to remedy it in future posts.
Author: xme_chanx
Pairings: Saga/Shou, Saga/Tora
Warnings: Manxman, manxrobot, your mom, slightly emo Saga
Disclaimer: Leave me alone! I own nothing and everyone is made up anyway… Similarities are totally accidental. *nod*
Summary: Loosely based on “Absolute Boyfriend” by Yuu Watase. Saga is alone and miserable until a love robot introduces complete chaos into his life. And why the hell is Tora so jealous of the Auto-Boy?
Author’s Notes: Pre-finals fluff. I felt like writing, so hey, I wrote. P.S. Business writing is killing me. With moushiagemasu’s. If I never see that phrase again, I shall die content.
1: That’s a HUGE…. box
“Loneliness… It kills more people every year than car crashes, boating accidents, fencing, and Frisbee golf combined.” A lanky brunette complained loudly. His current companion, a black-haired, slightly taller male just snorted.
“Fencing doesn’t kill. Besides, Saga, you could get a date if you wanted to, you just need to tell him how you feel.” The taller male nudged him, causing him to release a long sigh.
“Tora, I envy you your cavalier attitude about life. I’m going home, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Saga picked himself up off Tora’s couch and left. Since Tora lived next door, the walk home was neither long nor eventful.
Upon entering his apartment, Saga went straight to bed, moping until he fell asleep.
***
“Are you going to talk to him?” Tora whispered, poking Saga harshly with a pencil. The brunette frowned, eyes trained on his crush, merely meters away in the student union’s lobby. “Maybe…” he said doubtfully. The taller male rolled his eyes. “Saga, cut the crap and just ask him out already.” Saga sighed and stood up, looked meaningfully at Tora, then walked slowly to where his crush was seated, a few tables away.
“Hi, Yumehito, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some coffee with me, um, after Medieval history? Sometime,” Saga chewed his lip nervously as he waited for a response.
“Hi, Saga. I would, but I’m seeing someone. Sorry!” Yumehito smiled cheerfully and waved at the brunette, clearly dismissing him.
Saga turned sharply and strode back to Tora, who looked surprised and horrified. In any normal situation, the rejection would have been less brutal, or so he thought. But no, Yumehito had to shoot Saga down cold. “Saga, it’s ok,” Tora said softly. Saga looked up at him, obviously distraught.
“I’m going home. I’ll see you later,” he mumbled, packing his stuff into his bag and leaving.
***
Somehow, he ended up at a café, being harassed by a salesman named Nao. Nao sold “revolutionary tech products that revolutionize things” or so he said. Saga wasn’t really paying attention until Nao mentioned lover trouble.
“I have your attention now!” Nao cried, shoving a booklet at Saga. “Now, this is really important, this line is top-secret. It’s brand new, barely on the test market, but you seem like a good kid, so I’ll let you look at it.” Saga raised his eyebrow at the salesman’s use of ‘kid’ when Nao couldn’t have been any more than a few years his senior.
“Top secret, you say? What are they, blow up dolls?” the brunette asked dryly. Nao shook his head and grinned.
“It’s much better than that. They’re automated lovers.” Saga choked on his coffee and gave the salesman a disbelieving look.
“Here, see! You can even choose the size of their breasts, small, huge, however you want.” Nao smiled and handed the catalogue to Saga, who blushed slightly.
“Um, I don’t want a girlfriend… But thanks anyway,” he smiled and started to stand, but the salesman grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.
“All you had to do was say so, here’s a catalogue of our boy-toys.” Nao laughed raucously at his own joke, which only made the poor brunette turn a deeper shade of crimson.
Upon opening the first page, one face stood out among the rest. A kind-looking face, with large eyes, plush lips, dark blonde hair, and cute nose. Saga pointed at it, “That’s him. That’s the one I want.”
The salesman nodded. “He’s a cutie. Sign here, and we’ll go over the list of options.” Nao handed Saga a paper to sign and then pulled out a list of options for the Auto-Boy.
***
2 hours later, a very tired Saga fell into bed. He only dragged himself out of bed because Tora came by with some takeout.
“You look like shit.” The dark-haired male pointed out.
“Thanks. I needed that. What did you bring me?” Saga pointed at the bag in Tora’s left hand.
“Kimchi and fish bento.” The taller male grinned. Saga wrinkled his nose.
“You’re kidding right? That’s fucking disgusting. Get out, before you make my house smell!” the brunette tried shoving the taller male away but he merely laughed.
“Saga, it’s curry. Let me in and we can eat.” Tora ruffled the brunette’s hair and smirked. “Besides, you need to quit moping.” He said. Saga glared. “I wasn’t moping. I was getting ready for bed.” The brunette stuck out his tongue childishly.
***
After sleeping through his first class, Saga wanted nothing more than to simply stop existing. He knew he was overreacting, but he didn’t care. Tora had promised he’d bring dinner by again, so Saga decided he would simply rot in bed until then.
The doorbell rang, and he ignored it at first. He couldn’t ignore the insistent knocking however, and he got up, reluctantly put clothes on, and answered the door.
“Sakamoto Takashi?” Saga nodded at the delivery man. “Sign this.” The brunette complied once again, and thanked the man as he left. Saga frowned at the giant crate that was now occupying approximately half of his living room. SHOURAI TECH KABUSHIKIGAISHA* was emblazoned across the side of the crate, which the brunette thought was ominously looming at him.
He let out a soft sigh and began opening the cardboard monolith, wondering what an Auto-Boy love assistant really did. Saga gasped in surprise as he uncovered a human-looking boy-thing in the box.
His cell phone chose that minute to ring, and he answered crossly.
“SAGA! It’s Nao, how do you like him? He’s great huh? Have you already given him a test drive? I bet you have!” Nao snickered. Saga let out a sigh. “I just got him, he isn’t even out of the box. You didn’t tell me he was so…big.” The brunette said.
“You choose for him to have a large penis. That was one of the options you selected.” The salesman stated bluntly. Saga blushed, despite being alone.
“I didn’t mean his PENIS! I meant the whole unit… the body! He looks taller than me.” He finished.
“They’re life size! Anyway, get him started up and I’ll be by your place later to check on you kids. Ciao!” Nao hung up.
Saga sighed again and stared at the model he ordered. “Wow,” he breathed. Saga reached in to touch it, marveling at the realistic flesh. He blushed again when he noticed the automated boy was only wearing a tiny pair of shorts. “Let’s get you out of here,” he mumbled, dragging the auto-boy out of the box and onto the floor. The brunette grabbed the manual, deciding to go ahead and boot up the auto-boy. After all, what could it hurt?
*Future Tech Incorporated. Kabushikigaisha is just one of the useful things I learned in Business Writing in Japanese.
I started writing this because I have writer's block like WOAH and haven't even felt like touching anything I've been working on for weeks. This all was written today, and hopefully I can pop one out a day until the end of finals to keep me sane. Bear with the insanity, I live with it all the time.
I <3 comments and will pelt you with imaginary money if you give me comments. Firefox screws up my line breaks, but I am too lazy to fix it. If you really hate it, let me know and I will try to remedy it in future posts.