she looked so beautiful tonite. fuck i miss her.

im still broken hearted everyday. i thought by now things would start easing up but in all actuallity, i got better at faking and now i feel worse everyday. its hard to give up on the only thing that ever meant anything to you and try and move on. fuck, i hate myself.

i am hurting soo bad right now. i havent cried for a while, but i feel terrible. i am still terribly in love with her. its so hard. i wish it didnt have to be this way. i hurt deep deep inside. i havent felt this kind of hurt before. i havent cried this hard since october. for some reason tonight was really hard for me.

i wish she would want to go to prom with me. :(

would have been 4 years today.

its sucks when the only friend you really do anything with is always doing something.

i still miss her.

fuck tonite.

i wonder how she still feels about me? am i still attractive, how will i ever find someone as great as her? questions that run through my mind every second. i cant concentrate half the time on my work. what the fuck. this sucks. i cant stand reading my old lj entires, so saddening. someone save me.

i wish i still had a chance. should have never updated this thing.

WOW, its been along time since i updated this, over a year now! My life hasnt changed much since; just me working alot more and getting very involved with it and katie leaving me in october (in a since). she just wanted to end the realtionship but not our friendship, we are best friends and i love it, but i deeply love and miss her and always will ( Read more... )