i don't think i really thought this through. i kind of want to come home. i've been here for 3 months. i've never been so lonely. but it's a strange kind of lonely, self-inflicted. since i'm here with two of my best friends. israel is beautiful and i like being of drinking age. i like the food. the language interests me, but not enough to ( Read more... )

have i told you about renn fayre? ... it's coming. this time friday i will be guzzling champagne at 60 miles per hour, chain-smoking, and screaming with joy at the top of my lungs. i don't think i would have chosen reed if it weren't for renn fayre. the school pays for everything but the drugs (usually about $50,000, i would say the total drug ( Read more... )

i think that a big chunk of that little girl inside of me died last night. maybe i'll get the faith back but right now it feels unrecoverable.

ok, so, really, i am still an emo kid on the inside. just have to check in every now and then. keep a record of these events so that in 2 million years when aliens discover the world wide web they'll know my name (although i'm sure they'll mis-pronounce it ( Read more... )

it is so funny to me that i am writing in my livejournal. i am drinking "gypsy cold rememdy" tea that they gave me at the reed health center. i have bronchitis. i'm supposed to be reading durkheim. actually i'm supposed to be at work. reading durkheim. i was a zombie wednesday through now. everyday i count the days i've been a zombie and ( Read more... )

so. it's the last monday of my freshman year. actually, that's not even fair to say as technically, i'm no longer taking classes, and it's not even reading week anymore, just officially finals week. wow. this whole thing is about to be over. recently, i've been feeling kind of two ways about it. on the one hand, thank god. i need to go home ( Read more... )

so, yeah, it's been awhile but, as usual, i'm stoned and have no idea how this should go. most days i'm pretty miserable. ever since i got back from spring break, really. being home was kind of amazing and at the end there was just so much love. being back here is mostly a disappointment. drunken weekends and hazy work intensive weeks. i'm so ( Read more... )

let's see, successes of the day. well, 1) i managed to stay awake through both 90 min lectures i had this morning and take notes 2) conquered my harsh intense fear of tampons (i know, kind of tmi but whatever) 3) my psych rat, afrika, kicked ass in our lab today and then we had a bonding session in the hallway. [seriously, after the first lab, i ( Read more... )

it's been just lovely in portland. i've been in definitely better spirits.

i have ideas. i think rachel and i are just going to say fuck it and get ourselves a puppy. on top of that, in two years, i hope to be with eric messerschmidt in central american a-building ourselves a farm. i think these things would be just right. they would be steps ( Read more... )

believe me when i say that i want to find my way out of this. i just don't see any options or routes. i wish that someone understand how i feel these days just by looking at me but no one seems to get it. i've been freaking out more than usual and would prefer sleeping to being awake most of the time. i feel like i don't have a place or a ( Read more... )