Syphilis. Honestly, the only time you hear the word "Ottoman" anymore is in reference to something Dick Van Dyke tripped over in the opening of his show. Syphilis has the staying power we need in a champion.
Plus, it took the Ottoman Empire 400 years to get its shit together. Syphilis kills much quicker and drives you crazy in the process.
Turkey beats Spain pretty much any day of the week, but any empire is bound to fall to the ravages of disease (especially those diseases of a sexual nature) so this is really a tie.
Except that Christopher Columbus and his crew brought the Spanish Disease from the New World back to the Old World, and because that is really funny (a good punishment for the presumed rapes that went on) I have to give it to the Spanish Disease.
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Plus, it took the Ottoman Empire 400 years to get its shit together. Syphilis kills much quicker and drives you crazy in the process.
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Turkey beats Spain pretty much any day of the week, but any empire is bound to fall to the ravages of disease (especially those diseases of a sexual nature) so this is really a tie.
Except that Christopher Columbus and his crew brought the Spanish Disease from the New World back to the Old World, and because that is really funny (a good punishment for the presumed rapes that went on) I have to give it to the Spanish Disease.
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-Fisher
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