Crackfic ahoy.

[xalifesochanged]

I have to deliver some fanfic. This was a really demented idea that developed from talking to 
blackjackrocketabout the formerly posted Kink Meme at two in the morning. After deciding that the idea of a request of mine was *way* too detailed, we decided to write our fic.

Title:  Blue Vengeance
Pairing: Jirarudan/Eusine 
WARNING: There is sex here! Particularly, there is a strong presence of slash. And also, there's noncon, so just be wary of that as well.
 Do not read if such a thing offends you.

It was early afternoon in the city of Celadon. The sun was high in the sky, covered by a few clouds. Eusine wanted it to rain. Rain meant water, and water meant Suicune. Not that Suicune came to Celadon, but today he was anticipating something almost as good. It wasn't every day he contacted someone with as...strong an interest in the Legendaries as he had. Of course, this man was inherently repugnant to Eusine, but he had to deal with it if he was to enact his plan.

Jirarudan glanced out the window of his airship, studying the territory below him. The overly populated city of Celadon seemed particularly nondescript today; however, that did not matter to him. Although the location took him far from home, Jirarudan had excellent reasons for arriving here. A client had just recently told him of a friend that had supposed knowledge of legendaries and their habitats, offering promises of finding a Lugia. Although the call Jirarudan received from this Legendary expert seemed slightly suspicious, he could not help being intrigued about what exactly this man could know. However, disregarding his suspicions, the Collector landed about ten yards away from a stretch of houses. Exiting the airship, he glanced at a business card from his pocket which contained Eusine's address.

The houses were basic, nothing like one would expect to house a Legendary expert. Some children who had been playing in the quiet street hushed in awe at the sight of the airship, wandering up to it to get a closer look.

Jirarudan walked up to the address of his interests, the children whispering to each other about this newcomer. Simply ignoring them, he glanced at the house in front of him, scoffing at the unoriginality of the building and wondering if, in fact, the man he sought for actually lived here. Shrugging at the thoughts, he rang the doorbell.

That was it, the familiar chime that heralded the arrival of--oh, Eusine couldn't get ahead of himself. He carefully hung the item up in the hall closet and opened the door. Yes, this was who he was waiting for, that smug expression and distinctive wardrobe were unmistakable. "Yes, you must be Jirarudan," he said, forcing his voice to be even and calm.

Glancing at the otherwise ordinary man, provided he wasn't wearing that loud purple suit which caused him to slightly grimace, Jirarudan cleared his throat and stated, " Ah, and you must be Eusine, the Legendary expert I heard of." Walking into the foyer, he glanced around, noting nothing particularly interesting. How could a man of such knowledge live in such ordinary quarters? "So, I assume we have some business to discuss."

He entered without permission. The audacity! Eusine bit back a curse and gestured to the living room set. "Have a seat," he instructed, taking the armchair for himself. There was a simple high back wooden chair next to it and he counted on his visitor taking it.

/He expects me to sit in that? Does he not know the man that he is encountering?/ Giving Eusine a slight look of disapproval, Jirarudan sat down, but did not allow himself to fully relax. He was still unsure of this seemingly common man's motives.

"How about a drink?" Eusine asked, pouring himself a glass from the wine bottle on the adjoining table. "I trust you recognize the label." Indeed, the bottle was marked with the insignia of the Ecruteak mystics. It was very rare for one to find its way out of that city.

/Well/, Jirarudan thought to himself, /he has a disgraceful taste in living room furniture, but he surely knows wine well./ "So, you told me you know the locations of a Lugia?" He leaned back and studied the other man, hoping to get down to business and be on his way.

Pouring a glass for the visitor, Eusine nodded. "Yes." Betraying this information was risky, but he also couldn't afford to lie, should this man know the truth. "In the Whirl Islands of Johto, there've been several reliable sightings of Lugia, including one not too long ago where it destroyed a Team Rocket base." Although Eusine wasn't sure which he hated more, the Rockets who would use Legendaries for their power, or people like this who would let such beasts go to waste as part of a gallery. Either way his stomach turned, and he swallowed some wine far quicker than he'd wanted to.

"I see. Those creatures are quite powerful and indeed capable of destroying whatever is in their paths." Jirarudan slightly shuddered at the memories of his last encounter with a Lugia, but maintained his composure, sipping the wine. Involuntarily, he slowly relaxed and began to feel slightly mellower, causing the previous memories to dissipate. "Well, the Whirl Islands are certainly a location I am not quite familiar with, but I am certainly intrigued about the secrets and treasures they may contain."

"Well...there are rumors...that the Whirl Islands conceal more than one Lugia. Not the one you search for, but any of them could be used to bring that one out of hiding." The mental image pleased Eusine, of this man attempting to do so and being blown out of the sky again. "By the way, how did you get here? I heard an airship land, so I assume that was yours."

"Ah, yes, that'd be my airship. It's one of my slightly smaller models, but with a powerful engine. It was custom made and arrived less than a month ago," Jirarudan continued. "I had a larger one, filled with precious artwork some time ago; however, a destructive incident with a particular group of Legendaries destroyed it." He sighed and glanced towards the floor. Was he really telling this man of his previous failure? "Despite that, I've managed to regain some parts of my Collection in hopes to begin again."

"I'm familiar with your story. Frankly I'm surprised you managed to keep such a low profile after this" /without being strung up like a common criminal/, Eusine finished mentally.

Jirarudan was hoping Eusine was going to be unaware of his downfall, but alas, he was proven wrong. "Actually, I'm quite surprised I have been able to do so myself. On the other hand, I am not sure whether or not I'm wanted by the police in some areas, so most of my business has been done in secrecy, with reliable agents, of course."

"Yes, of course...reliability is important. Is the wine to your liking?" Eusine had built up an immunity to the wine's powers over the years. He had taken to drinking it every chance he could to gain the power it gave, the power of visions, but it had lessened in strength over time to the point where he no longer felt a thing. What he had given Jirarudan wasn't nearly enough to cause a shift in mental capabilities, but was more than enough to temporarily incapacitate him. "Tell me, why do you want Lugia so badly?"

"Oh, it is quite up to my expectations, definitely a nice choice you made with the brand," The man relaxed, turning Eusine's question around in his mind. "Well, I've been fascinated with Legendaries for years, and I find Lugia exceptionally entrancing. Such a Pokémon like that is truly beautiful, magnificent and a very fine piece of work. It is certainly not a treasure most Collectors would possess; however, I must have it and be able to fully experience its divine beauty."

The corner of Eusine's mouth twitched, frozen as it had been in a thin practiced smile. "So you would keep it as a museum piece then?" The very idea!

"Well, I suppose that is how you could put it. Generally, that's the normal idea of Collectors. I wouldn't consider using Lugia in the battlefield and letting it stay out in the wild and remaining unknown to man as it is just wastes its natural beauty."

This man was sick. Imprisoning a Legendary for nothing but personal viewing? It was maddening, and Eusine balled his fist to keep from reacting too quickly. He had to wait, at least a few more minutes, until this man showed some signs that the wine was affecting him. "Of course..." he let slide. "You know, you took a big risk coming here, as you said. Is the thought of chasing Lugia that important to you that you would risk prison or worse?"

Jirarudan blinked as his vision was becoming slightly blurred. "Finding a piece like Lugia is worth many risks, but I would assume someone in your position and of your insight would understand." After saying that, the man began to feel engulfed by weariness. /This is odd/, he thought to himself, holding back a yawn.

Good, it was starting. Eusine took another sip of his own wine to act as a cover so the man wouldn't suspect the source of his weakness. "My insight tells me that such creatures as the Legendaries would resist capture at all costs. What, pray tell, do you intend to do to maintain Lugia should you succeed?"

"Um," Jirarudan found himself not being able to properly tie words together to make a coherent sentence. "Well, I'll just hire some people to take care of it. Some other innocent bystanders I can, er, get my hands on." Suddenly, he felt as if the room began to spin. What was happening? Vertigo overcame the man and he found himself clutching his forehead in a failing attempt to regain his balance.

This was it, just a little more. Eusine reached into the armchair, pulling out the rope he'd secured between the arm and the cushion. "Something wrong?" he asked calmly as the howl of Suicune resonated in his head.

Everything was spinning and Jirarudan suddenly felt as if his whole body were going limp "Well, actually, "he said, drawling his words out, “I feel strangely exhausted." Vaguely, he noticed the rope in Eusine's hands. "What the hell is going on?"

"You were talking about someone you could get your hands on," Eusine reminded him as he ran the rope through the back of the chair, tying the man's hands to it almost casually. "There's a little lesson you have to learn, Collector."

As much as his mind wanted to protest and attack this man whom he *obviously* could not trust, Jirarudan could not physically do a thing to defend himself. Despite this, a wave of fear coursed through his body. Now incapable of using his fists, the Collector found struggling to be useless. "What? A lesson? For what? What are you going to do me?"

To deliver any sort of answer, Eusine felt as though he was lowering himself to Jirarudan's level, but he had to do something.  "I think you need to dress for the occasion. This is far too typical of you," he muttered, occupying himself with unbuttoning Jirarudan's shirt.

He slightly struggled in vain, but there was nothing Jirarudan could do. Dress for the occasion? What could he mean by that? "Get your hands off of me," he grunted as his vision was covered by what appeared to be smoke. However, this man was not simply a client or a computer: he would not comply with the Collector's useless orders.

"I don't think you're in a position to be giving any orders," Eusine snapped. Finally his anger could show through, and as if to celebrate that fact, he raised a gloved hand and delivered a stinging slap to the Collector's face.

Combined with the drug-like effects of the wine and the physical pain, Jirarudan's separation from the present situation only increased. Dizziness and feelings of exhaustion were accompanied by a bizarre ringing sound in his ears, causing him to feel like he was drowning. It was as if Jirarudan were being pulled into a whirlpool, into a rapid descent into whatever fate had been planning, and he felt completely helpless.

"Perfect," Eusine whispered, untying the man's wrists and pulling the shirt completely off, tossing it over the armchair. "I have to get you looking your best if you're going to face your punishment." He worked Jirarudan's belt off and unzipped the pressed white pants before standing and retrieving the garment he had put in the hall closet not ten minutes previous.

Sitting alone, Jiraudan's mind experienced a mixture of fear and distortion. Was this really happening? It couldn't have; such a man like himself would never be put to shame by such a common person like Eusine. Why did he allow himself to come here? Unfortunately, these feelings remained mute, as an incapacitated Jirarudan simply sat in the chair, helpless and about to be humiliated.

With a wicked twinkle in his eyes, Eusine worked the pants the rest of the way off and unfolded what he had retrieved. It was brilliant blue fabric, shimmering in the natural light, and bore what was almost a diamond pattern along the sides. He shoved the garment, loose pants cut like those worn by temple workers, onto the man's legs.

Jirarudan looked in front of him, his vision wavering in and out, and saw Eusine wickedly smiling at him. He attempted to raise his left hand to punch the man, but his muscles refused to react, and his limbs felt like lead. Even one simple movement seemed completely impossible. All he saw was the glitter of bright blue fabric being slipped on him, its distinct color being the only visible quality. His mind had recognized that color somewhere previously; however, he couldn't begin to identify its source under these conditions.

Eusine grabbed Jirarudan's left arm, limp at the side, and affixed a gold bracer to the bicep. "Good, it fits...you're better built than I thought you'd be," Eusine admitted, following suit with the other arm. The bracers were brilliant, with diamond-shaped chains running off them to nowhere. "Consider yourself lucky. Even I've never worn this. I'd almost consider it sacrilege to put you in something like this..." He sighed, trying to push that to the back of his mind. "Except you humiliated the Legendaries, so now you have to see what it's like."

As if out of nowhere, Jirarudan's eyes widened slightly in shock as he felt the cold metal on his arm. "'What it's like'? What?" All that could stumble from his lips were questions now, his voice filled with fear. This man was planning to humiliate him! If only Jirarudan could gain some control over his body, maybe then he could stop this degrading act from happening.

"You'll find out, ignorant heathen," the researcher hissed, messing Jirarudan's hair so that it fell away from the stylized puffs it usually formed. "Now get up."

Get up? How in heavens was Jirarudan supposed to accomplish that? /Maybe if I just comply with his orders, this will be over more quickly/, he thought, attempting to push himself up. He felt like a heavy weight was on his shoulders, and his legs began to give out. The Collector stumbled up and nearly fell over. His balance was interrupted and he nearly toppled over, holding onto the other man for support. "You fool," he muttered under his breath, still wobbling.

"What did you call me?" Eusine demanded. "I am the acolyte of Suicune, tasked with delivering the justice of the North Wind to the people of this world. You," he concluded as he shoved Jirarudan to the floor, "are just an unworthy collector."

The blurriness in his vision increasing, Jirarudan stared up at the enraged man above him. He coughed and spattered, "And how is this going to deliver your 'justice'?" If he was so enraged and radical about his beliefs, why did Eusine not kill him?

"I wouldn't expect you to understand the necessities of a higher power." Eusine had anticipated this for so long and could hardly contain himself. He knelt down to the ground, arranging his quarry to the proper position and tugging down the man's undergarments. "It's a shame. With your means and drive, you could have been quite something on another path. But you had to go and be greedy, didn't you?" As he spoke, he unfastened his own pants, slowly so as not to catch himself on the zipper.

Jirarudan slowly realized what going to occur. He struggled in vain to get up, but once more, his muscles failed him. At this point, he considered the earlier option of the man killing him to be slightly more redeeming than this. Instead, he found his mind restating a mantra of "This isn't happening" in hopes that he could gain some form of emotional stability.

"You'll never be able to look at yourself with pride again," Eusine warned, freeing his erection and stroking it slowly before removing his gloves and rubbing himself with the contents of a vial of sweet-smelling oil. "I know a bit of your history, I know you love doing this...I doubt you'll get any pleasure out of it now."

Glancing at the other man's erection, Jirarudan slightly shuddered. Yes, he had sex with other men before, but this just was not the same. It had never been against his will and certainly did not have the same reasoning behind that this zealous Suicune fanatic possessed. "So violating me is your path to justice?" he scowled. "Hypocrite."

"I don't care for your attitude," Eusine decided. He picked up one of the wine glasses and pressed it to the other man's lips, shoving the contents into his mouth. "I think that should shut you up, at least for a few minutes."

Once more, dizziness took over Jirarudan's mind, leaving him incoherent. The world around him faded into obscurity yet again, rendering him incapable of seeing what was happening to him. However, his sense of touch was revived when he felt the man's fingers on his skin.

Eusine was reaching around him, fondling him with harsh fingers and rough movements. "You'll never be able to touch yourself again without thinking of this, will you?" he whispered coldly, hand leaving a slick sensation.

Jirarudan attempted to struggle away from the man's touch, mumbling incoherent protests. Unfortunately, an unrelenting feeling of arousal started taking over and he began to harden, despite his disgust towards the other man. How could this be happening? Even though the Legendaries despised Jirarudan's actions, could they have enough mercy to end this torture and humiliation?

Feeling the muscle tighten in his grip, Eusine jerked harder. "That's it," he cooed almost affectionately. "Surrender to your punishment, give in to the shame..."

Shame. How appropriate. He wanted to scream in struggle, but all he came from his mouth was a simple, audible moan of pleasure. Damn this man! He writhed slightly and grit his teeth as he flushed with arousal, beads of sweat beginning to form on his forehead.

This was far easier than Eusine had anticipated. The man was practically putty in his hands, unable to resist yet quite responsive, and the idea of so much power--power limited to one person but what a person!--excited Eusine even more. "My turn," he whispered, withdrawing his hand and

And then the phone rang. "DAMMIT!" Eusine screamed. He had half a mind not to answer it, but the ringing would only disrupt his procedure, so he scrambled for it, the device nearly slipping from his slick hands. "What the hell do you want?" he demanded, voice strained from arousal and fanatical high.

Jirarudan couldn't hear much at first, his senses still unfocused from the wine and his obvious erection. He rolled over, breathing deeply and steadily while trying to focus his vision. Suddenly, he heard Eusine's obviously irritated voice from a distance screaming into the phone. "What the hell? Don't you ever call me again, even if you do have information on Suicune, you pretentious little brat!"

The moronic child knew nothing, but Eusine's mind had already gone from one injustice to another. "Don't think I don't know who you are! You're one of Morty's little students! Put him on!" Jirarudan could be dealt with later. This was a far more pressing issue.

/I supposed he's occupied at the moment/, thought Jirarudan. /Now to plot how I'm going to get out of here./ As the other man screamed into the phone, Jirarudan took in his surroundings. He simply couldn't walk out of the front door in this state. Wobbling a bit, he got up, faltering slightly. If he could just find something to keep the lunatic controlled with. A smile crossed his lips as he devised a plan.

Eusine, still in a state of undress, had stormed off into the nearby den and was in the midst of writing furious notes as he shrieked at the man on the other end of the phone, the pen almost tearing through the paper as he did so.

Jirarudan glanced around, in search of his clothes. Putting his pants back on, he lost his balance, falling over while grabbing onto the coffee table nearby. Struggling to pull himself up, he upset an object on it and heard it fall to the floor. Regaining his balance, Jirarudan glanced at the object: a picture of a younger Eusine broadly grinning while holding a Suicune plushie. /Cute,/ Jirarudan thought, putting it back on the table, regardless of the room's state of disarray. /This must be his parents' house/, he thought to himself, grabbing his shirt from the hideous wooden chair and smirking at the piece of furniture.

"Is that all you can say?" Eusine screamed into the phone. "You can take your 'calm down' and you can fucking CHOKE on it!" And he slammed the phone down so hard that the handset broke against the desk. "Fucking stupid Morty, has the nerve to tell--So, where were we?" he announced as he returned to the living room.

"Why hello. Glad to see you're back," Jirarudan flatly stated as he slowly walked over to the other side of the room. "What? Got in a fight with your boyfriend over a Legendary?" His eyes narrowed as he stood in front of Eusine, smirking wickedly at the man.

Eusine took a step back, startled at first. "You...you must have an incredible constitution if you've recovered this much already." He shook his head. "But no matter. Justice will be served."

"Indeed,” Jirarudan stated.”Justice *will* be served." Receiving a confused look from Eusine, he used this opportunity to punch the man in the face, knocking him unconscious for a moment. "Maybe now you can 'calm down.'" Using all the strength and willpower he could muster, he grabbed Eusine by the arm, dragging him ungraciously to the other side of the room and sitting him on the wooden chair from earlier. Jirarudan took the man's arms and placed them behind the chair, pinning them in position as Eusine softly struggled. Reaching over, he took the metallic bracers and slipped them around Eusine's arms as the researcher incoherently cursed him.

The temporary blackout lasted only a few seconds, but Eusine's functions were fogged. "...the hell d'ya..." he managed, the world coming back to him in increments.

Jirarudan stared at the incapacitated man below him. He reached for the remains of the previous outfit, stumbling over slightly and knocking his head against the back of the chair. He heard the man above him stir slightly. He looked up to find his vision clouded yet again as he held on to the chair in an attempt to regain himself.

"Notgonna...mmph, dammit...little freak..." Eusine forced himself to sit as straight as he could, realizing with some disgust that his pants were around his ankles. "Fucking blasphemer...what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sitting up and reaching to the back of the chair, Jirarudan tied the chains of the bracers together in a hurried and somewhat secure knot. "Well you did tell me you've never worn this before, right?" he asked, still having trouble putting words together.

"Suicune will punish you for this..." Eusine insisted with far less emphasis than he'd hoped for, his head still swimming. "Its faithful acolyte can't lose to a filthy, disgusting degenerate like you...!"

"Oh, I'm sure it will have some interesting comments to make about you on your front lawn." Jirarudan reached over to the bright blue trousers, finally able to reach them. He wrapped them around Eusine, nearly stumbling into the man's lap. /Why doesn't that wine just wear off already?/ he asked himself, trying to shake past his blurry vision to secure the fabric.

With determined, unrestrained flailing, Eusine kicked repeatedly but to no avail; the crumpled trousers prevented him from doing the damage he wanted. "Can't let--idiot! Idiot!"

Jirarudan stared at the man's pants, still attached to his ankles, pondering whether or not to remove them. Leaving them on would continue to render him incapable of kicking anything. Holding his forehead as he encountered a soft feeling of vertigo, he decided leaving the pants on would be a better option. Slowly rising to stand up, he proposed, "How about a breath of fresh air? You look like you could use it." /And right now, I could use a good nap/, he thought to himself.

"You can't go to the police," Eusine reminded him, "you're a wanted man; you get me, they get you!"

Jirarudan turned to him, studying him slightly for a moment. "Well, given your current state, I don't think you could go, either." He began to pull at the back of the chair as much as his tired muscles would allow. This was going to be slightly more difficult than he had assumed.

The fog around Eusine was clearing, but it did little to calm him. Now that he could see his situation with clarity, it only served to work him up even more. "Blasphemer!" he screamed, rocking to and fro in the chair. "You'll never get away with this!"

Ignoring Eusine's name-calling, Jirarudan pulled at the back of the chair, dragging it for a couple of yards before pausing to catch his breath and steady himself. Noticing the struggling man, he chuckled to himself at the sight in front of him.

The headache came back, jolted through by the violent swaying, and Eusine cried out. "DAMN it! You're digging your own grave! You won't get away!"

Sighing, Jirarudan pulled the chair to the door which he opened. Looking outside, all seemed to be quiet on the street. /Not to worry/, he told himself in the fog that he was experiencing; /there shall be some commotion in a few minutes./ Dragging the chair behind him, Jirarudan placed the man next to a small bush on the lawn. " Actually, I plan to do so as soon as I can reassemble myself." He leaned against the brick wall, panting and trying to clear his head. "In the meantime, I suggest you enjoy your stay out here on that disgraceful thing you call a chair."

Eusine didn't know which part of his rant the 'plan to do so' had been directed at, and with neither of them in their right minds the question would go unanswered. "You're going to pay! You can't run from justice!" His shrieking attracted the attention of the neighborhood kids, who tore themselves away from admiring the airship to investigate.

As the children approached the flailing lunatic, Jirarudan simply smiled at them before heading to the door and closing it behind him. Once inside, he leaned against it, head swimming. The only thing he could tell himself was how much of a fool he was for actually arriving here in the first place. Locking the door behind him, Jirarudan walked over to the couch, feeling overwhelmed by sheer exhaustion.

Outside he could hear Eusine, still ranting his vengeance to the heavens and to anyone who would listen. Which, judging by the children laughing and teasing him, wasn't anyone at all.

Lying down, Jirarudan ignored the man outside, closing his eyes. /Oh well. Tomorrow is another day to begin again./ However, as he began to fall asleep, the Collector couldn't help but wonder if the report of the Lugia in the Whirl Islands could actually be true. Perhaps, but that'd have to be dealt with some other time without the presence of alcohol.