Compassion to one animal may not be compassion to another

[amolibertas]

I was walking through a mall strip the other day and a gent had seen me consider buying my boyfriend a soda. We decided against it, but he caught that I had some ones, obviously, because he immediately came upon us and asked if we could "spare some money, he wanted to get some food." Well, maybe I'm just a sucker, but I always open my wallet and

Comments

[danneeness]

Personally, I do think it is judging them. If you are giving people money, you are letting them decide what to buy with that money. They could buy alcohol or drugs or meat or whatever, but it's not your money any more. You may buy vegan food and the person you're giving that money to may go out and buy a burger with it. You can't control how other people spend their money. If you don't trust them to make the best decisions about their life and their money, then don't give them money, or give it to a shelter or homelessness cause that you support. But giving a speech sounds horrible. If you're hungry and poor, you buy what will fill your stomach. Apples or snacks aren't going to be as filling or useful as a burger. We should be working towards making healthy, ethical (not just vegan, but also good for labor rights and environmentalism) food more available, not shaming people for making the choices that make the most sense for them in constrained situations.

[haywagonsmom]

Love your answer.

[kill_inhibition]

Honestly, this is why I stopped giving money to people who asked for it. There are many resources (and other people) who would give that person help or money had he asked them. I don't feel guilty because as humans, we have those options, but the animals who become burgers certainly didn't.

I have bought people asking for money vegan food though. Often I hang out in an all vegan restaurant/cafe/bookstore and have become quite familiar with a few people in need in the area. If I have some extra cash they know they can ask me for food and I'll get them something vegan to eat but I won't give them money. They understand why and are grateful for the food.

[bestdaywelived]

I say no, and then go home and occasionally donate to groups that help the homeless get off the streets, like the Homeless Advocacy Project. I don't give panhandlers cash because I pass so many of them daily that, quite frankly, I'd be giving up a lot of cash.

Oh that, and I was the target of an attempted robbery be one of these panhandlers a few months ago, so I avoid them now. (He concocted a story about being in a car wreck and needing me to go to the ATM and take out cash for him, and he happened to know an ATM on a side street a few blocks away, HOW CONVENIENT.)

[amolibertas]

In general, I stopped carrying cash regularly on my person a long while back. At least when I was younger, I had a tendency of "losing" my wallet, either by leaving it on top of my car as I drive off, or it just plain fell out of whatever I was keeping it in. After having various amounts of cash taken, achecks written in my name, my bank account info was stolen from those "ATM" reader/catchers... I don't keep cash on me unless I intend to use it almost immediately. And I can always cancel cards.

I have never been directly robbed/mugged, but have been indirectly robbed multiple times. Meh. But your story does bring up a safety point.

Being mugged is much more likely as I'm peering into my purse or digging in a wallet.

[bestdaywelived]

I carry a purse, but that's the same way I feel. I use credit cards because when my card was stolen by a coworker, I immediately remedied the situation.

That's exactly the issue ... and you NEVER want a panhandler to see how much you have on you. Letting someone see you with cash is how you get targeted. Maybe it's because I"m a smaller woman, but I've been targeted by men who feel the need to intimate me and try and ask for ridiculous sums of money (can I have $3.50 for a bus ticket? never mind that buses cost $2 here). So now, I won't make eye contact, and I walk really fast.

The attempted robbery really terrified me. He was clearly on drugs, and clearly not in a car wreck, but he targeted me because he thought I was a stupid woman. It did feel fucking empowering to say right to his face that I wasn't taking him to an ATM because that's how women like me get robbed, and I wasn't about to let him do that to me.

[sushineko]

Vegan or not, I always had a bad feeling giving people money, as there are various things I don't want them to buy from "my" money (including cigarettes and booze).

Buying them food or a coffee, or giving them an apple (that they will not decline if they really are asking for food money and not booze money, for example) or another snack, a sandwich I have not eaten, etc. feels much better to me. That way you do help them, and you are sure it's something vegan. :-) And of course, your food-donation will certainly be appreciated, too!

[spyral_path]

I've seen people throw away the apples that came with bag lunches charity groups were giving away. If you've been poor for any length of time chances are your teeth aren't in good enough shape to eat an apple unless someone has cut it into small pieces first.

[sushineko]

I've had people happily accept apples or whatever other food I could offer (to buy) them. They are free to decline the food offered, and they do when they don't want it.

[amolibertas]

Good points. I was thinking of some of those High calorie Cliff bars. They hold up relatively well in a purse and certainly not hard enough to cause anyone issues.

[stone_in_focus]

Depending on your location there are most likely social services available through which such persons can acquire food. It is more likely that your dollar went to drugs or alcohol rather than a hamburger. This is the reason I have learned to absolutely never give money to panhandlers.