I'll Pay Any Price It Takes to Keep You (Damon/Elena)

Dec 15, 2012 10:04

Title: I'll Pay Any Price It Takes to Keep You
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: [spoiler]There's sex despite the sire bond, so definitely dub-con in my books. This shit is dark.
Wordcount: 500
Characters/Pairings: Damon/Elena
Spoilers: 4x09
Summary: After everything fails, Elena gets back together with Damon.
A/N: The title comes from “Help Me Hold On” by Travis Tritt. Prompted by badboy-fangirl who is a flawless human and came to my rescue. This story is WAY shorter than I expected: partly because I think it's more powerful like this, and partly because I overestimated my angst capacity. I don't have it in me to write something that depressing for pages upon pages.

I'll Pay Any Price It Takes to Keep You

After everything fails, Elena gets back together with Damon.

“It's because it feels good,” she'll tell Bonnie the next day (it's not the best choice of words, but Elena knows the rules; “right” and “real” are off limits for her, so she makes do with what she has).

She's rehearsed some other answers as well, has them all ready in case Bonnie asks questions. She gets back together with Damon because they have nothing to lose. Because the bond will never go away and she's sick and tired of it dictating her life. Because she's in love. Because this is her now, and she'll never be anyone else.

The list is long and Elena repeats it all in her head when Damon's lips trace the curve of her hip.

“Because I want him,” she thinks with focus, but Damon startles her. He suddenly pushes his tongue inside her, and “wa-aant” falls out of Elena's mouth quite unexpectedly, makes his fingers clench on her thighs.

“Shh, it's alright,” she soothes before he can say a word, but doesn't reach to cup his face.

He would freak if she touched his face.

Elena keeps quiet after that one outburst, shuts her eyes and bites her lip. Her thoughts are dancing in her head in slow, strong rhythm of Damon's tongue, they rock gently against his strokes and circles, and set her mind in motion. She gets back together with him because it's better than being without him, because she wants to live, because he understands her. She gets back together with him because he never leaves her.

(Except that one time, in the lakehouse, crossed out.)

She knows exactly when to touch his head, fist his hair the way he doesn't like. It's important that she does things he doesn't like, stops herself from making sounds or kisses one spot for too long. They're distracting, of course, but worth it, worth every effort she puts in them.

Damon watches her all the time, and at first Elena feels scrutinized, but it only lasts for a minute or forty. Damon's eyes are full of awe the way they always were, as if she was doing him a favor letting her eat her out. He feels good against her flesh, burning stares and soft hands, and Elena is close so very close, but then she starts wondering if she's fisting his hair because he doesn't want her to, or because he wants her to, and things almost go to hell. She composes herself quickly, “I love him, Bonnie,” she thinks desperately, “I do, I do, I do, I do.”

(Things she'll never tell Bonnie: she gets back together with Damon because fuck you. Because she's so tired of knowing reasons behind every single thing that she does she wants to scream and scratch and cry. Because maybe, just maybe, if she can make him fuck her hard enough, she'll finally disappear.)

Her voice catches in her throat when she comes.

fanfiction: the vampire diaries

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