Maybe I Should Kill Myself (an Elena Gilbert 4x06 meta)
So, remember how I just had an Elena appreciation week and vomited tons of feelings? Yeah. I'm just gonna keep doing that. Only without gifs this time (by all means, feel free to gifspam me), because I can't be fucked to spend five hours sorting through all the screams and flail on my tumblr dash. I WILL DO IT AFTER MY BRAIN STOPS SCREAMING. Which
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ALSO SHOW PLEASE CONTINUE TO BE AWESOME. I JUST CAN'T. I LOST ABILITY TO CAN.
Thank you for this meta, it help me realised some important things!
I can't even begin to imagine what 4x07 would look like but if it's gonna be better than this episode, I'M GONNA EXPLODE.
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Well, I'm glad I could help. This episode truly was awesome!
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I was copying/pasting the parts that stood out for me and then I realized I had pasted the whole meta in this comment. So instead you get me saying OMG! WOW! Perfect meta is PERFECT!!
Everything I felt while watching this episode you've expressed here and so much better than I ever could. Thank you!!
It is so refreshing to read positive Elena meta. (most of what I get is the not so nice kind that I have to try to ignore or go completely nuts)
(I hope you don't mind that I'm going to add this to my mems so that I might read it again.)
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Ugh, yes, fandom is full of Elena-hate :(. I'm trying to avoid it at all cost. But it's so good to see someone positive! :D
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Not only have I placed it in my mems but I have also rec'ed it on my lj(which just dawned on my perhaps I should have asked it that was okay first. If it's not let me know and I'll delete the post asap)
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Oh, thank you for the rec! :) I'm very flattered :D.
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I have been wanting so bad for Elena to interact with someone about her new vampire status, someone who wasn't Stefan or Damon, each with their predictable ideas of who she should be and her going through the predictable steps of trauma at being a vampire exactly the way we expected she would. I never saw it coming that that person would be Elena herself.
Because Elena doesn't think her feelings or fears matter. She feels obliged to be okay, she's angry that it's impossible for her to ignore her own pain anymore.Which, oh my god. ELENA FINALLY GETS HER BREAKDOWN. (Although I hope she has another, I feel like she escaped this one without completely turning the corner of The World Doesn't End If Elena Isn't Okay.) Oh, Elena, bb, I love you, I feel your pain. Because she's been living in survival mode -which no one can do long term, that is something that can only be sprinted ( ... )
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I have been wanting so bad for Elena to interact with someone about her new vampire status, someone who wasn't Stefan or Damon
OMG me too. I thought it would be Caroline. Turned out it was Elena herself. WHICH WAS EVEN BETTER.
Although I hope she has another, I feel like she escaped this one without completely turning the corner of The World Doesn't End If Elena Isn't Okay.
I'm pretty sure there will be more in the future. But for now, this will suffice for me ;). Baby steps <33333.
And in this episode, she couldn't avoid seeing the absolute black and white of that daily choice she makes: she has to either be coping and okay with what she's becoming and what she's done, which she considers impossible, or she can kill herself. She can live with it, or she can not live with it. The end.
SO VERY TRUE. Elena's been on high alert for the last 6 episodes, and that's too much. She needs a break, and she needs it soon.
And it's really interesting that the two people ( ... )
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That was what was so shocking to me in the episode, was that I thought Katherine would be a strong enough presence to be that ultimate survivor. But then, instead, that survivor, of all people, who would tell Elena to be like her, instead in hallucination form tells her to kill herself. Tells her that Elena is so abhorrent that she's an exception to the anything-to-survive rule. Which, no kidding that sent her running to the bridge.
She's been fighting so hard to preserve her humanity that she started losing it.And the grand irony of everything is that in dying and becoming a non-human, Elena has a chance at last to find her humanity again. It's been a long, long time (before the show started, perhaps?) since Elena could cope with not being the perfect daughter/sister/friend/girlfriend/etc. She has to be in control and not fail or fall or be undependable, because she can identify herself in relation to who depends on her and if they don ( ... )
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It's been a long, long time (before the show started, perhaps?) since Elena could cope with not being the perfect daughter/sister/friend/girlfriend/etc. She has to be in control and not fail or fall or be undependable, because she can identify herself in relation to who depends on her and if they don't or if she fails them, she's lost herself.
I kinda want to frame this :). And your therapist sounds like a very smart person!
I'm pretty sure it's a novel of the sort of thing you'd write a ton of meta on.
LOL, because I obviously need more of those XD.
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I don't really know what I want for the future? There are a few scenarios I can think of that I'd be pleased with. With the pacing TVD usually has, I don't dare to make predictions that go beyond Christmas...
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