I don't love you, but I always will - a Damon/Elena shipper manifesto (part 2)

[upupa_epops]

Here goes part two! Part three will probably take me a good while to write. tvdbloodstream has a Top Ten challenge, and the ship part ends on Thursday, so it appears that first I have to work on something with actual deadline. But for now, part two is alive and kicking. Without further ado:

I don't love you, but I always will - a Damon/Elena shipper manifesto

Comments

[vergoldung]

DEAR GOD WOMAN!

I just spit icecream all over my screen (well, not my screen, but whatever)...

First of all, it's oddly stiff and a bit clumsy (is it just me, or does anyone else also have a feeling that they're about to bump into another couple any second?).

Oh my. You deconstruction of this moment is hilarious. I am laughing so hard. Gosh.

(Ok, back to reading now.)

[upupa_epops]

But I really keep thinking they're gonna bump into another couple at some point!

(I have no compassion for you, because you have ice cream, and I don't.)

[kilodalton]

A big part of the reason I like D/E so much is that, like you've pointed out, there is a lot of texture to their relationship. It makes it REAL. They fight. They love each other and sometimes hate each other, and can hurt and throw insults at each other when they so choose, just like how they can open up when they so choose. They're not afraid to be their real selves in front of each other.

Maybe it's because I'm a bit older, idk, but one thing I can say with a bit of authority is that real relationships look a lot more like D/E than like S/E. Real relationships don't stay candy-coated like that for long. I think that's one of the big reasons I never shipped S/E, not even a lil bit - it always seemed a bit too saccharin to be 'true'.

Anyway, I digress.

Excellent meta! The one thing I (sorta) see differently is here tho:

He needed to know [Katherine] loved him, because in an epic romance, the declaration of love happens before sex. With Elena, he just takes what he can get, and not because he's so whipped (not that he isn't whipped

[upupa_epops]

Hmmm. After s3, I wouldn't exactly say that S/E is unrealistic. Girls talking themselves into believing in the magic of the First True Love, and then sticking to the guy, hoping that if they try real hard, they can have the magic back? It happens, unfortunately :(. It's also awful and unhealthy. Certainly impossible in the long run.

I see it differently because with Katherine, he had to ask where he stood with her. Maybe he suspected, but he didn't know for sure or he wouldn't have needed to stop to clarify. With Elena -- again, because their relationship is one where they are so honest -- he knew where she stood, complicated though it might be.

I never thought about that... But then, he eventually asks Elena? But I see your point here. With Katherine, he's really looking for answers. With Elena, even when they talk, he's just looking for confirmation of what he's already figured out.

[vergoldung]

I want to enter your cult, please. It's so nice and cosy and awesome and inviting. I can't resist it.

First of all, I love this post. It's awesome. I love what you say. I love how you say it. I love that they are a lot of pretties that satisfy the beast in me (and makr me miss Ricky boy). To make it short : it's lovely. (Also, I love that you are suicidal enough to release such profanity knowing this crazy fandom. You brave little thing.)

Epic Love is the worst. Seriously. I hate it. It's the worst. (Yes, I like repeating myself.)
I actually love the idea of life-long relationships that last because of the hard work both parties put into. But I hate the idea that once you've found your epic partner, you're owned for life. Because let's not forget that this is what this is all about. Ultimately, Epic Love means Happily Ever After. And that means FOREVER. And Forever is just the worst thing ever invented. It's even worse than marriage. I hate it. Nothing should tie you forever to anybody. (Sorry, my ranting is getting out of hand

[upupa_epops]

Careful! You're gonna make me blush, and that's not pretty!

(Also, I love that you are suicidal enough to release such profanity knowing this crazy fandom.

I'm a troll. And I find discussing stuff like that in open posts weirdly refreshing :).

Nothing should tie you forever to anybody.

I feel you. I never wanted anyone to promise me they'd be with me forever. If they just, idk, keep wanting to be with me for years, it's fine. But I don't want anyone staying just because they said they would.

I think I might quote you on that. (Is that allowed?)

I will be honored :D.

But when people where saying 'This is when I started shipping DE, they were so EPIC!'

I started shipping D/E when he broke her brother's neck in front of her :P.

I hope your painting went well, and that you got some sleep! If you didn't get any sleep, KNOW THAT I JUDGE YOU!

[vergoldung]

Haha. You don't get to judge me!!!! I ACTUALLY went to sleep right after that! With some good logic the bf managed to convince me that it would be stupid to continue working all night and be all sleepy during class. Which at this point is the most important thing in my life. Every hour counts. (I threw such a rage fit when I fucking overslept last Tuesday!) So at that, I was very convinced and went to bed.
But yes, the painting is going really well right now. I am late as fuck though. And I freak out every single day over the fact that I only have three weeks of time with my (precious) teacher left. And after that I will be on my fucking own to finish this. (AHHHHHHH HELP ME I WILL DIE SUCH A PAINFUL DEATH THIS SUMMER!) And the pressure is on. Like the fuck on, since I'm in the middle of painting my blue Flower (and she's only the most important thing ever SHUT UP SELF!). But at least it's pretty :) For now.
(Yep, the panic is rising. No doubt about that.)

I feel you. I never wanted anyone to promise me they'd be with me forever. If

[upupa_epops]

Good luck with painting as much as you can during those 3 weeks :). I'm sure you'll do an excellent job!

For me the worst thing of all is this fucked up cliché that 'I can't live without you' is romantic. It is not. FUCK.

WORD. You know what's really romantic? "I can totally live without you. But I still want to live with you."

But my shallowness knows no bounds when it comes to DE and shipping. No scene needed, bro, no scene needed! :D

I just consumed s1 in one crazy marathon, I didn't have time to start shipping anything ;). I need to process things in order to have opinions ;).

[hisui_ryoshi]

You say things so much better than I do! I am so glad to see the second part of this. Where do I start declaring my love? Because I just finished season two re-watch today and I was sitting there thinking to myself...where is the epic Damon/Elena love story? I don't get it. Anyway, other thoughts mine, lets address your wonderful thoughts.

I am deeply in love with how Damon and Elena work as friends. They click instantly, they see right through each other, and they create this amazing bullshit-free zone. No sugar-coating. No easy smiles. No pretending to be a better person. Just Damon, Elena, ugly truths and teamwork.This. They work so well as friends. Even with the tension. It's almost the perfect friendship for Damon because I think he is flirty naturally and Elena doesn't mind and it doesn't have to mean more. The fact that it does as time goes on is fine

[upupa_epops]

where is the epic Damon/Elena love story?

In s2? There isn't one. S2 is a huge D/E cat fight ;).

It's almost the perfect friendship for Damon because I think he is flirty naturally and Elena doesn't mind and it doesn't have to mean more.

I think they're both naturally flirty. With Elena, it doesn't show fully, because she's in mourning, and they she's trying to be more serious to match Stefan's seriousness, but look at her when she has fun, or when she's drunk. That's a flirty girl :).

She understands why he did it, they both can't loose another person, she just wanted more time to process and forgive.OMG YES! But I also love the scene in which Damon comes to ask for her forgiveness, because she's actually allowed to kick him out. Damon is brutally honest about his intentions ("I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I need it"), he admits that he has a selfish motivation, and that allows her to act completely on her own judgement. And she says no. Because there's no emotional blackmail between them. I will never not be

[hisui_ryoshi]

Thank you!

Cat fight might be the best way to put it. Makes sense. Elena keeps wanting to be in charge and Damon challenges that she can be in charge of everyone.

[ever_neutral]

Warnings: This post contains Damon and Elena.

#dear lord

But, despite of the imagery, it's not a romantic scene for me, and in a conventional story, it would be. According to all the narrative rules, this scene should be romantically significant, and it isn't.

Yeah… I keep seeing people being like THIS IS WHEN THEY REALISED~ and I'm like, lol shut up no it isn't. Damon is the substitute. He's not supposed to be there. He is literally standing in Stefan's place. Damon and Elena are not meant to be. They were never supposed to happen at all. (But they did. How unfortunate.)

This dance works, because it's not a romantic dance. It's funny, playful, and a little bit sexy. It shows Elena and Damon as they truly are - two people who can have fun, even if they know that things are going to hell.

PREACH. Reasons why favourite.

Disappointing dances (Maybe that's the problem?), kisses with no follow-up, insignificant confessions. And, in the end, (as ever_neutral likes to say) she calls his dying ass and still refuses to sugar-

[upupa_epops]

Ugh, I will steal this shawl icon as soon as you stop using it.

Damon is the substitute. He's not supposed to be there. He is literally standing in Stefan's place.

YES. I really, really want the fic in which he just curses this whole thing, because he hates to be a substitute, and hates to step in, and hates the irony of what's happening. Seriously, if I were him, I would start throwing shot glasses into a fireplace.

The writers are so unapologetically subversive and postmodern with D/E (i.e. it's a trollfest) and people DO NOT GET THAT THIS IS THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS STORY. Elena rejecting Damon's love confession at a fairytale ball. Damon becoming a somewhat better person only to have Elena (still) reject him anyway. THIS IS WHY THEY WORK. You can't just throw honest, brave storytelling away for a romantic ideal that does not exist.

I approve of your life choices.

Damon/Elena is a ship for people who hate both themselves and the world.

Thank you, Doctor Freud.

D/E can be dark and gloomy too, obviously, but the comedy in

[eowyn_315]

Damon is the substitute. He's not supposed to be there. He is literally standing in Stefan's place. Damon and Elena are not meant to be.

LOL THAT IS TOTALLY WHY I STARTED SHIPPING IT THEN. #doomed ships ftw

Damon/Elena is a ship for people who hate both themselves and the world.

This is gross and absolutely true.

[upupa_epops]

LOL THAT IS TOTALLY WHY I STARTED SHIPPING IT THEN. #doomed ships ftw

This is why we're friends!