High Fidelity
Movies. That's what does it for me. While I have a very high emotional attachment to music, books, and art nothing captures, corresponds, and personifies my life and thoughts better then movies. If I am the sailboat, movies are the wind for me. It's just amazing how they take stories and fit them in as the missing answers to the trains of questions in my head. How a series of acted scenes become the soliloquy of emotions that decipher the locks that hold me back from being me.
Excuse me for a second while I write a list something I'd like to remember:
Kimberly, Sarah, Erin, Laura, Sarah, Jen, Kristi, Kristina, Dana.
That's 13 years of my life. 9 names of which there is really only 8 cause 1 is a duplicate. Now I could make that a longer list but I really felt like only putting the names that I could actually say we were together. The ones I tapped into stone not a vague, I think so.
"Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."
How very true that's been. It's definitely gotten me in and out of relationships in some of the most haphazard ways possible. But I think I'm finally content now. Funny how it takes a movie to help push your sails out to open water and be totally ok with that.
I can smile back nowadays on every single one of those names without regret, hurt, anger, nervousness, disbelief, or fear. I had been having a hard time with it all, for reason of which some of you know. But it's all ok now. Or at least that's what I tell myself at 6am on a Tuesday morning. Love and relationships are truely like flying soup cans. I could get head pounded with a soup can of a projectile tomorrow but hey can't stay indoors forever right?
I guess what I want to say is this, the soup can will find me someday again, but regardless I'll always get back up and perhaps one time I won't need a movie to tell me it will all be ok.
Excuse me for a second while I write a list something I'd like to remember:
Kimberly, Sarah, Erin, Laura, Sarah, Jen, Kristi, Kristina, Dana.
That's 13 years of my life. 9 names of which there is really only 8 cause 1 is a duplicate. Now I could make that a longer list but I really felt like only putting the names that I could actually say we were together. The ones I tapped into stone not a vague, I think so.
"Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."
How very true that's been. It's definitely gotten me in and out of relationships in some of the most haphazard ways possible. But I think I'm finally content now. Funny how it takes a movie to help push your sails out to open water and be totally ok with that.
I can smile back nowadays on every single one of those names without regret, hurt, anger, nervousness, disbelief, or fear. I had been having a hard time with it all, for reason of which some of you know. But it's all ok now. Or at least that's what I tell myself at 6am on a Tuesday morning. Love and relationships are truely like flying soup cans. I could get head pounded with a soup can of a projectile tomorrow but hey can't stay indoors forever right?
I guess what I want to say is this, the soup can will find me someday again, but regardless I'll always get back up and perhaps one time I won't need a movie to tell me it will all be ok.