But what will the neighbours say?

[verilyverity]

For those of you who don't know, metafandom and various wank comms that shall remain nameless are currently lousy with discussion about anonymous memes.  For reasons unknown even to myself, this has led me upon a spiderweb of link trails that eventually sent me scrolling through badly photoshopped images on fandomsecrets for about forty five minutes I'll never get back.

Comments

[amedia]

At one level - as an intelligent adult who would like to believe that other intellgient adults are capable of rational discourse - I find it hard to understand the purpose of comms like fandomsecrets. It seems to me that if there are things that are important enough to want to post about, that a person is afraid to say to her friends, well, it seems like those friends aren't much worth having

[verilyverity]

Mm. The question I chose not to ask, because I couldn't find a way to phrase it that didn't imply judgement of the people who answered "yes" to any of the above was, "Do you feel such a sensitivity (ie: to opinions that aren't directed at the offended party or, really, anyone real) is justified or should be indulged?"

I'm trying to suss out whether the phenomenon stems from a consensus that genuine, personal investment in the content ("I can't be friends with someone who ships DG/Cain") is a valid point of view and should humoured, or just that fandom is, by and large, more pleasant when people who approach the fandom that way are kept happy and complacent.

[amedia]

Two things:

Thing the First:

"Do you feel such a sensitivity [snip] is justified or should be indulged?"

Here's a nice piece of cognitive dissonance for you. I don't think this sensitivity is justified AND I don't mind indulging it to an extent.

I don't get to make the rules in fandom. I'd like fandom to behave like rational adults capable of dispassionate critical thinking (like the majority of people in tinman_meta), but it doesn't. And I know it doesn't. And since I know that, I'm not going to set out to perform actions that cause a major disruption, even if I think that the disruption primarily consists of overreaction and misunderstanding

[verilyverity]

Damn, I wish I'd gotten in on that!

But yeah, I've been thinking about the issue for a while; what finally got me to post about it was this three by four inch graphic that read, "I lose all respect for people who 'lose all respect' for people over a FANNISH OPINION! Get a grip"

I though, do people really say that? Do people really do that? And they're not embarassed?

So of course, I had to bring it here. :D

[andrealyn]

I've been in a great many fandoms over the years and for me, what I've learned to tiptoe around is the 'shipping. Not expression opinions, but rather how. There are always corners for 'ships in every fandom and how they interact usually depends on the behaviour of the fen involved. Sometimes, the behaviour can be very offputting and steer people away (I speak from an outsider perspective only, but from observation, I'd class Harry/Hermione into that. There are 'fringe' fans who have given the pairing a bad reputation). Now, if they were on my f-list and I didn't agree with them, I'd probably shut up to avoid the conflict of their response

[verilyverity]

Now, if they were on my f-list and I didn't agree with them, I'd probably shut up to avoid the conflict of their response.

In the scenario you describe, do you refer to making a post in your own journal that you known someone on your flist will disagree with, or offering a dissenting opinion to someone else's post?

[andrealyn]

I'd generally avoid making a post that would get too heated as well as avoiding dissenting opinion. I've learned to become very cautious about my words after a couple of friendships I had ended up on either Fandom Wank or bringing people in from anonymous memes to attack me.

[verilyverity]

See, now this I don't get. I assume it was a purely content issue, because that's what I specified. I don't understand why there seems to be such a widespread consensus that if someone reacts to something like, "I hate character X" with personal and malicious behaviour, their feelings and actions should be respeced as if the thing they responded to was "I hate person X," or "I hate the following (real) group of people". I understand not wanting to have to deal with drama, but if someone actually decided I wasn't worthy of their friendship because I don't like DG or Cain, and, even worse, that I deserved to be punished for my opinion, I wouldn't want them in my circle/fandom/species in the first place. I absolutely do not think an attitude like that deserves any kind of deference.

[allronix1]

Every fandom has its own quirks and tolerances. Even very SIMILAR fandoms can have different standards

[verilyverity]

So how come "because I want to, that's why," isn't good enough for one or more of the guys who assembeld the canon?

[allronix1]

Part because the characters you're playing with are more theirs than yours.

[verilyverity]

Sure, but tacit consent of fanfiction is essentially a green light. It's not their prerogative to say, "well, you can write this scenario, but not this one," or "you can say this about the character, but not this". Also, I'm referring more to censoring yourself on your own space. Walking into a Cain/DG comm and posting a giant screed about how much you OMG!HAET Cain/DG is stupid and rude, but you should be able to say what you damn well please on your own livejoural or website.

[oddsbobs]

I can't make a very well thought out response, as I am sickly and it's waaay past my bedtime. However.

I do hold back on certain content related issues. For example, Snape. I really, really hated Snape for the longest time (I'm starting to get a little more understanding of the character). I know for a fact there are Snape lovers on my f-list. Since it never really had anything to do with the price of tea in China, I never brought up my dislike. My friends carried on in their Snape loving ways, I carried on doing... whatever it is I do. I wouldn't feel less inclined to comment on one of their posts and stating my dislike, and I wouldn't feel cautious about posting something that included said dislike... as long as the post was relevant

[verilyverity]

Deep dark secret #1: I DO NOT ship DG/Cain. Ew.

Deep dark secret #2: I have a DG/Cain plot bunny in my head that I want to write. (yeah, really)

And how does that make you feel? *strokes chin*

[oddsbobs]

I have NO idea. I think I need help. My mind is a very very scary place.

The plot bunny came during one of my 'Why don't I like DG/Cain?' moments. I do that frequently... ask myself why I don't like something and why someone else might. It helps me keep an open mind. The plot bunny would be a scenario where I could see it happening.

[verilyverity]

Do you plan to write it?

[neefalco]

i say what i think. i'm not typically one to hold back, but i will (especially on the internet) try to phrase what I have to say carefully as my sarcasm and bluntness often come off too harsh and sound like an attack. Everyone has a right to their own thoughts, feelings and beliefs and I will not attack that. We have the choice whether or not to watch, read, see things on the internet, on television and in books. It angers me however when people attack something they have a choice in whether or not to view. If you don't like it don't watch/read it. I practice this myself all the time. For example, I don't enjoy Cain/Glitch, I just don't see the pairing and thus choose not to read any fics related to that. I will however gladly listen to why people like that pairing and keep an open mind as to why it is liked. I do have at least one friend on my flist that is a fan of Cain/Glitch and I respect that. I personally ask only one thing. I'll respect you and your beliefs but please respect mine as well

[verilyverity]

Given that you consider it important to keep an open mind and therefore accept and respect the preferences of others, why don't you expect the same courtesy form them?

[neefalco]

Because in real life I don't often get that respect back and I see others not getting that respect back. I see people that attack the Islam faith because "their all terrorists" or "they don't respect women" and as I try to speak to these people about why they feel this way their always clearly uneducated about the Islam. Here in this fandom however, I typically except that the respect will be reciprocated as almost everyone acts with maturity and well hell we rip the canon to pieces all the time and from what I read in the comments all are very though provoking and everyone appears to respect one another's thoughts. And I really like that fact that we have that going here. Though on the other hand their are places in the fandom where I feel authors are disrespected. And while reading this next part just know I am in fact a Cain/DG fan, I find it revolting when people tell authors that their pairing should be Cain/DG or that it should eventually lead to that. That is just so wrong on so many levels and it bothers me, as I'm sure

[verilyverity]

I should rephrase that. Do you expect the same courtesy from them?