unhappiness disguised as loneliness... i can't do this alone

[thisisnotmylj]

i don't know why i get so emotional out of nowhere. Right now, i have the unexplainable, unreasonable desire to cry. And i don't think i can hold it in. I don't like to be alone. Alone and sober is even worse. I'm desperately seeking someone to just sleep next to me. Nothing weird or unusual, just someone to lay beside me while i sleep. Maybe that

Comments

[smoke_au]

*hugs*

*just hugs*

*just more hugs*

Feeling like you alone can be a terrible feeling if thats not where you want to be. I think that is different to being lonely though. I dont really ever feel alone, but I sure have felt lonely. Getting past being alone is as easy as going out and sitting in a shopping mall surrounded by people. That satisfys my extroversionism. Im not always feeling gregarious though.. but usually I do now-a-days. Thats sometimes harder to satisy. Anyone can go out and make new friends though. If I can anyone can ;-)

Um.. and if youre referring to someone to sleep in your bed as what you need as opposed to being lonely.. well, Im probably not the person to ask about that type of thing.

Whatever the problem you can always talk to me. I dont promise to always be available or to actually have any experience or helpful advice to give, but I can listen. 8-)

[thisisnotmylj]

i will talk to you since you're on msn now! yay! :o)

[masochismisgood]

Hun, I know. There are some nights where I just lay and I don't want to sleep for fear that when I wake up it'll all be the same routine. I get so sick of being so sad sometimes that I just baul. And I know. All you want is someone to hold you, to be there for you and to wipe away your tears. I think that's a desire most of us have.

But you shouldn't have to feel sad. All you can do is make the best of every situation and just have a hope for the future. I'm praying for you and hoping that things will get better. *hugs, kisses, and lovin*

[thisisnotmylj]

thanks hun. you're a sweetheart. You're right about wanting someone to hold me. That really is all i want. I want someone to still care about me despite all my negative qaulities. But i've been alone for way too long, i'm starting to lose any hope i had for the future. My future just looks dark and lonely to me now. I wish i could make it better because there is no reason for me to feel so sad. But it seems that i can't find anything but temporary solutions that don't last very long. I can push my sadness away for hours at a time but in the end it's still there with me.

I'm hoping for a change, for things to get better like you said. I'm glad that there is someone who can understand how i feel. :o) *hugs n kisses* take care of yourself, babe.

[masochismisgood]

i'll definitly take care of myself. i know you may have no hope for the future. but what i have to think about, what gives me strength, is that i know i have goals and i know i have an effect on people's lives, even though sometimes i feel worthless. but in reality, it's only logical that we have such an effect on the lives of others. therefore, we all have a purpose, which is somewhat comforting.

also, what helps me is just to know that i know that God is preparing that man out there for me. if we aren't together now, i know that God is whipping that man into shape according to His own time and will. i dont know whethere or not you're a religious person and either way thats awesome, but thats just something that gives me hope and makes me feel better.

i really hope things get better for you. and i know its so hard. just know that i love you and that you're awesome. *hugs, kisses, and lovin* you're awesome and please dont ever forget that

[thisisnotmylj]

Thanks. I'm not a religious person but sometimes i wish i was. It would be nice to have that comfort of knowing someone was looking out for me. Alot of people keep trying to convince me that if i "find god" it will make my life better. Maybe they are right, i don't know, but it's hard for me to believe.

It's good to know that someone out there thinks i'm awesome. lol. Thanks. ;o)

your not alone

[anonymous]

man i know exactly how you feel! i feel the same way inside...but yet i have to act happy for my friends..however that fuckin kills me! to be something im not..if i act how i feel..there will be people saying "whats wrong" all the time..its really sucks being alone..it makes me even more depressed..dont worry your not a whore..everyone has their needs..i wish i had someone to sleep next to me..just to feel that someone is there and comforting me..that would be awesome...well im going to end this long comment...take care i guess..i just wanted you to know i feel your pain...

ashley
(www.xanga.com/delicate_layla)

Re: your not alone

[thisisnotmylj]

Thanks. It's good to know that other people go through similar things that i go through. It sucks to have to act happy just to please everyone else. People don't want to be around someone who is constantly unhappy. And that sucks but it's something that we have to always deal with. It's nice having someone sleep next to you, i hate not having someone to say goodnight to and i hate waking up and not having someone there. Unfortunately i don't always have someone there no matter how much i wish i did. Anyway, thanks for the comment. I hope things get better for both of us. Take care.