...

[thetrousersnake]

What the fuck?

No. Seriously. What the fuck. What the hell is wrong with you, Potter?

I saw you. Don't deny it. I saw you hiding behind that gargoyle on the third floor, the one that looks like your face but prettier, just after lunch today. Sucking on your trousers, and laughing.Not only that. Not ONLY that, but not three minutes later you came

Comments

[moopylunin]

Oh, Severus. It's so good to have you back.

[thetrousersnake]

Screw you, treacle tits. I want answers.

But yes. Hello, Lupin. Top of the morning, all that shit.

[moopylunin]

Well why do you look at me as if I should know? Trust me I'd be the last person to know around here.

Hello, good summer? End of summer anyway. After the- the newt thing.

Ahem.

[thetrousersnake]

I don't want to talk about that period in my life, thank you. I've left it behind.

How about you? Apart from The Incident We Shall Not Name?

[ihaveweeprongs]

You're a filthy liar Snivellus and you always will be.

[thetrousersnake]

At least I don't need serious psychiatric help! Head boy for a reason. Head case.

Your trousers are wet again, I see.

[ihaveweeprongs]

I'm a victim of circumstances.

[thetrousersnake]

Whatever, nut.

In other news, Nice scar, by the way. Corrective surgery to cut the big cock off your forehead was a smart move, Potter. Thumbs up.

[ihavebigprongs]

HERE. NOW HOLD ON JUST A MOMENT.

I HAVE NEVER SUCKED TROUSERS IN MY LIFE.

BEATEN UP FIRST YEARS WITH RUBBER CHICKENS AND SNIFFED TRACY SCOGGINS' KNICKERS MAYBE. BUT SUCKING TROUSERS. NO, SIR.

[thetrousersnake]

Wasn't that you just up there?

What?

[ihavebigprongs]

...

Oh my god I've been COLOGNED!

[thetrousersnake]

That's Cloned, you anus.

Er.

Where's the scar?

[vilyofthelalley]

Why hello Severus. I am glad you are no longer an amphibian!

I think James has a doppleganger of some sort, who is going around attacking innocent people. If I find out that you had any hand in it at all I may be forced to take points from Slytherin. And you know how much I hate that.

[thetrousersnake]

Evans.

Shocked as you may be to hear this, I have had nothing to do with recent events. I just don't fancy getting my trousers salivated on by some James lookie-likie.

Um. Yes. Anyway. Yes.

[vilyofthelalley]

I had every faith that you weren't involved, Severus.

Each to their own, I say.

Anyway?

[ihavebigprongs]

Here, actually. I did find Sirius's trousers precariously tossed in the hall with rather large, damp, suction marks around the crotch.

..

dun dun duuunnnn.

[thetrousersnake]

Nice.

[ihaveweeprongs]

Circumstantial. CIRCUMSTANTIAL.

ttfn!