The Social Network Moodtheme
This is just flat out absurd, jsyk. For picspammy 's moodtheme challenge. ABSURD.
EDUARDO: You don't think -
MARK: I do.
EDUARDO: Go see if it's everybody.
CHRIS: Can't connect.
DUSTIN: The network's down.
Oh, Mark, you're such a rebel without a cause.MARK: I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall they have a right to give it a try. But there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook where my colleagues and I doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing. Did I adequately answer your condescending question.
EDUARDO: The dining hall was serving chicken for diner and I had to feed my chicken so I just...I took little pieces of chicken and I gave it to the chicken. Someone must have seen me because the next thing I knew I was being accused of forced cannibalism.
At the end of the table, MARILYN tries but fails to stifle a small laugh.
Legit, this is probably the only reason I actually want to read the book. There's a chapter called Cannibalistic Chickens, okay. Why would anyone not want to read that.ERICA: I think we should just be friends.
MARK: I don't want friends.
ERICA: I was being polite, I have no intention of being friends with you.
MARK: I'm under some pressure right now with my OS classes and if we could just order food I think we should -
ERICA: You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.
Albright spends the entire movie being angry. Except the first few minutes.
MARYLIN: The site got twenty-two hundred hits within two hours?
MARK: Thousand.
MARYLIN: What?
MARK: Twenty-two thousand.
Mark is totally annoyed in this scene. It may be carry over from the fact that Erica may or may not have lied...EDUARDO: Unless this is a coincidence, I think this is us.
MARK: It's not a coincidence.
EDUARDO: Holy shit.
Don't be anxious, darlinggg.This is the start of something beautiful. I mean, if we ignore the ultimate downward spiral and all that.
MARK: It's raining.
GAGE: I'm sorry?
MARK: It just started raining.
Come on, it's a scene in which someone is talking about rain. Clearly, the speaker is apathetic. This happens. Also, he's clearly thinking about Wardo showing up in the rain. Back when they were besties. Obviously.COME ON. This is artistic as all get out. I mean, this whole scene is gorgeous and the music. THE MUSIC. And, anyway, in terms of the characters, athletics can be quite artistic. Especially crew.
Dustin waking Mark up to ask about a girl. Admittedly, he didn't really wake up until light bulb, relationship statuses! But, yeah, awake!CHRISTY: When did you get back?
EDUARDO: I got back this afternoon.
CHRISTY: And when were you going to call me?
EDUARDO: Chris, it was kind of a rough trip and I was tired and I -
CHRISTY: Or answer one of my 47 texts? Did you know I sent 47 texts?
EDUARDO: I did, and I thought that was incredibly normal behavior.
Okay, so maybe the last line doesn't have to do with the mood...
The entire end of this movie is totally blah. I mean, for real. It's like...nothing better to do much refresh Erica's facebook page? What's more blah than that?SENIOR: As the plaque reads, this is John Harvard, founder of Harvard University in 1638. It's all called The Statue of the Three Lies. What are the three lies, Mr. Dowd?
SOPHOMORE: The three lies - The first - Shit!
Let's be honest. Mark is perpetually bored. Hence the doodling.Oh, Dustin. Dustin is perpetually bouncy. California!
MARK: I'm a little intoxicated, I'm not gonna lie. So what if it's not even 10PM and it's a Tuesday night? The Kirkland facebook is open on my desktop and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics.MARK: I've already apologized in the Crimson to the ABHW, to Fuerza Latina, and to any women at Harvard who might have been insulted as I take it that they were. As for any charges stemming from the breach of security, I believe I deserve some recognition from this board.
ADMIN: I'm sorry?
MARK: Yes.
MARK: The site's live.
EDUARDO: You know what? Let's go get a drink and celebrate. I'm buying.
War-ddoo. You can buy me drinks anytime. We don't even have to make a website first if you don't want. I mean, you probably have awful memories from the first time that happened anyway. So let's just skip all that.SEAN: You must be Eduardo. And Christy. And Mark, it's great to meet you.
Sean Parker, you chipper little bastard.
MARK: I think I've come up with something. Come outside.
EDUARDO: It's 20 degrees outside.
MARK: I can't stare at that loop of Niagara Falls which has nothing to do with the Caribbean.
The things you did for Mark, Warrrdoo. The things you did.MARK: I'm in.
TYLER: Awesome.
Satisfied rich boys getting what they want. (Armie, iloveyoulikewoah)
DIVYA: Your daughter doesn't go to school in the States?
KENWRIGHT: No no. Cambridge. Majoring in French Literature, though I wasn't aware there was such a thing.
TYLER: They have Facebook at Cambridge?
Armie Hammer appreciation life.Lookit that face. Bambi, you adorable woodland creature, you.
The great moment of happiness before the downfall. Ugh.MARK: You've had a long flight.
EDUARDO: No, I've had a long wait on the tarmac at JFK, then a long wait at the passenger loading and unloading zone at SFO and in between there was a long flight. I'm the business end of this company and he's a house guest living here rent-free on a generous grant from the Eduardo Saverin Foundation.
Deer Lord. You tell 'em.
CAMERON: What in the world is this? "Hey, Cameron. I'm still a little skeptical that we have enough functionality in the site to really draw the attention and gain the critical mass necessary to get a site like this to run. We'll speak soon."
Mark, you're so classy. I mean, clearly, Ty's just come from a rugby match or something. But I'm not complaining. Here's a man that could also take me out for drinks anytime he so pleases.What EDUARDO can't see behind his back is that CHRISTY has taken the gift box and lit it on fire with a cigarette lighter.
-
EDUARDO: Holy shit! What is wrong with you?
She loves you, Wardo! Can't you see that? I want to know what happened in this story...I bet Christy invented Facebook stalking.
SEAN tries to wait but can't -
SEAN: There's a snake in here, Amy.
You're such a troll, Sean.EDUARDO: My father won't even look at me.
YOU DEER. WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE?
You made me buy that stuffed Bambi, you know. And he's soft and amayzing and I wish he was bigger but I still enjoy petting him because he's soft and he's so adorable it hurts. That is what she said.
Curiouser and curiouser.
Can I just say that when Wardo walks into the computer science building, I legit think it's a pool every time. I don't know why. But then I'm always like...why in anyone's right mind would they be having a hacking drinking game in the midst of a natatorium? Who does that?SEAN: They'll hire private detectives who'll follow you day and night. You're a target for high priced escorts. I can't prove it but I know they tapped my phones. Whatever it is that's gonna trip you up you've done already. Private behavior is a relic of time gone by. And if somehow, someway, you've managed to live your life like the Dalai Lama then they'll make shit up. Because they don't want you, they want your idea and then they want you to say thank you while you - excuse me - wipe your chin and walk away.
They see me trollin', they hatin'. I want to see Mark as a target for high priced escorts.
Call Eduardo. Call Eduardo. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Chant that. It sounds cool.EDUARDO: Mark?
MARK doesn't look up from his computer -
EDUARDO: Mark.
Seriously, he's so determined from the moment he turns around. It's amazing. This part is always the part that always makes me think Andrew, your superb acting skills are showing and just why weren't you nominated for all the awards and better still why didn't you win them anyway 'cause clearly you deserved it all they had to do was watch this scene because seriously EVERYONE LOVES BAMBI. Have you ever met someone who doesn't think that deer is adorable?
EDUARDO: I'd like to freeze this account and cancel all existing checks and lines of credit.
Wardo, you badass.Self explanatory.
SUMMERS: Well I would suggest that you let your imaginations run away with you on a new project.
TYLER: You would.
-
TYLER: Start another project? Like we're making a diorama for the science fair?
Tyyy. I always liked Cameron better...but Ty's growing on me every time. I mean, they're the same person except they are quite obviously in different houses at Hogwarts.EDUARDO: Look -
MARK: - as someone who's just really embarrassed the company in a bad way I wouldn't -
EDUARDO: It was the Winklevosses, Mark!
Yes, baby, it was the Winklevosses!
SEAN: Somebody sent that coke in there 'cause it got in there. You believe me. This is gonna be fine, right?
I've got allergies! Can we take a moment to marvel at how Mark totally shot him down when he mentioned Wardo? Maaarrrrk.DIVYA starts to bolt out of the pub. His foot gets caught on a chair leg and he falls hard face-first to the floor.
Awr, Div. Also, A+ to the group in the background. Modelin' away...
Best dance ever. Rebecca Black just didn't look into hiring the proper people.MARK: I do remember you saying that. How's Christy?
EDUARDO: Christy's crazy.
MARK: Is that fun?
EDUARDO: No I mean she's actually psychotic. She's insanely jealous, she's irrational, and I'm frightened of her.
I love that the conversation turning to Christy totally wears him out for a minute. She's just crazy, nothing new.
Okay. There are so very many options for this. But I went with this little bit because look at the size of that bottle. Also Andrew's perfect face.DIVYA grabs CAMERON and hugs him.
YES!
EDUARDO: I wish he'd been asleep.
You still look fine, if that makes you feel any better.SEAN: The next transformative development? A picture sharing application. A place where you view pictures that coincide with your social life. It is...the true digitalization of real life. You don't just go to a party anymore, you go to a party with your digital camera and your friends relive the party on Facebook. And tagging. The idea -
This scene. Seriously, before the whole getting busted and the interns having coke...Sean's actually not trolling! It's crazy. There's something about this scene that just...Sean I don't understand you.
SEAN: He's wired in.
EDUARDO: I'm sorry?
SEAN: He's wired in.
EDUARDO: Is he?
SEAN: Yes.
EDUARDO picks up MARK's laptop over his head and smashes it down on the desk, breaking it into pieces.
EDUARDO: How about now, are you still wired in?
Ugh. Seriously. Andddrrreeeeeew.EDUARDO: From that point on it was the Sean-a-thon.
-
EDUARDO: He owned Mark after that dinner.
EDUARDO: Hang on, I've gotta tell you something you're not going to believe.
MARK: What?
EDUARDO: I got punched by the Phoenix.
Mark is totally envious, whatever he says.Lifeless? Yes. Sleeping on a Tuesday night? Pffft.
MARK: I know, I'm totally psyched about this, too.
No no, it's just you, Mark. But that's okay, you're still fabulous.EDUARDO: Have you slept yet?
-
EDUARDO: Mark? Mark? Are you praying?
Clearly this is my favorite scene. Clearly. Just wait, there's more.
CHRISTY: Your friend - is that Mark Zuckerberg?
EDUARDO: Uh...yes.
CHRISTY: He made theFacebook.
EDUARDO: Yeah. I mean it's both of ours - but, yeah we - yes.
CHRISTY: Cool. I'm Christy. This is Alice.
EDUARDO: Very nice to meet you.
CHRISTY: Facebook me when you get home. Maybe we can all go out and grab a drink later.EDUARDO: When did you get this?
MARK: About 10 days ago. Right after we launched the site.
EDUARDO: Jesus Christ.
-
EDUARDO: Why did you show this to me?
MARK: It was addressed to me.
-
EDUARDO: Don't screw around with me now. Look at me. The letter says we could face legal action.
This is what happens when your bestie is Mark Zuckerberg.
People don't really eat much in this movie. But Div looks like it could be full.MARK: Welcome to Facebook.
Again, hacking drinking game? Geeks and nerds.
I didn't want giddy and giggly to be the same...but giddy means lighthearted and what not...so.Mark and Christy...livin' it up drinkin' their appletinis.
SEAN: I'm gonna call you back. What's up?
EDUARDO: What's up? Mark was supposed to pick me up at the airport an hour ago, I've been calling his cell.
Gloom and doom Wardo.Sean Parker's feelin' good. Especially 'cause Zuckerberg just offered him a place to live.
CAMERON: Thank you very much, and Dad - alright love you too.
WINKLEVOSSES. YES.Like I said...groggy Zuckerberg...
EDUARDO: He's 25 minutes late.
MARK: He founded Napster when he was 19, he can be late.
EDUARDO: He's not a god.
MARK: What is he?
EDUARDO: 25 minutes late.MARK: You know you didn't have to be that rough on him.
SEAN: Listen, I'm putting together a party -
MARK: Sean? You didn't have to be that rough on him.
EDUARDO: We have groupies.INTERNS! I don't know how the coke got in...
DUSTIN: Mark? Mark. There's a girl in your art history class. Her name is Stephanie Attis. Do you happen to know if she has a boyfriend? Have you seen her with anyone? And if not, do you happen to know if she's looking to go out with anyone?
MARK: Dustin, people don't walk around with a sign on them that says -
This is also a Joe Mazzello appreciation life. Also adorable. Also a woodland creature.Someone's gone into the next stall.
EDUARDO: Shit.
CHRISTY: I don't care.
Girl's gettin' it done.
Wardo, you sexy thing. Christy's just showing you your essence...Mark. Mark, Mark, Mark.
BOB: You know, I could swear he was looking at you when he said the next Bill Gates could be right in this room.
MARK: I doubt it.
BOB: I showed up late, I don't even know who the speaker was.
MARK: It was Bill Gates.
BOB: Shit, that makes sense.
Bob. Haha. Kid's totally Mark's fist fanboy. Absolutely. Look at how excited he was to meet him.TYLER: 22,000 page requests.
CAMERON: 22,000?!
TYLER: Cam, this guy hacked into facebooks of seven houses. He set up the whole website in one night and he did it while he was drunk.
-
DIVYA: This is our guy.
Yes, he is, Divya. Yes, he is. (Or not, y'know, probably should've ignored him.)
Can I just? They don't know how to feel about each other, clearly. SO MANY EMOTIONS.Mark really doesn't care, Winklevi. Just doesn't.
EDUARDO: Sorry, my Prada's at the cleaners along with my hoodie and my fuck-you flip-flops you pretentious douchebag.
Damn, Bambi.EDUARDO looks at SEAN...then suddenly and quickly cocks his fist back to punch him in the face. SEAN flinches as EDUARDO holds his punch and lets out a small laugh.
EDUARDO: I like standing next to you, Sean. It makes me look so tough.
Oh, you looked tough before, too, babe.
TYLER: If I were a drug dealer I couldn't give free drugs to 650 people in one day.
-
CAMERON: What, do you wanna hire an IP lawyer and sue him?
DIVYA: No, I wanna hire the Sopranos to beat the shit out of him with a hammer.
TYLER: We don't even have to do that.
CAMERON: That's right.
TYLER: We can do that ourselves.
CAMERON: Hey -
TYLER: I'm six-five, 220, and there's two of me.
DIVYA: I'm with this guy.MARK: You know you really don't need a forensic team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Facebook you'd have invented Facebook.
I know, hold on. Mark's not jealous that Erica's out with other people exactly. He's jealous that Erica's totally moved on with her life, because for some reason he's still enamored with her. Despite how mean he is. But. Yeah.Oh, nothing much, nothing much, just Sean Parker trollin' again.
He's also lazy.AMY: I'm sorry, I'm late for Bio-Chem.
And lethargic. Amy's lethargic, too, will how long she spends stalling before getting in the shower.
MARK: What were their names?
EDUARDO: Did you hear what I said?
-
MARK: Fashion. Fashion is never finished.
Mark is interested in nothing in this entire scene. Winklvi's cease and desist letter? Meh. Advertising? Who cares. Girls? A little more interesting, but whatever.Maaarrrk. There's no one left for you.
But just remember, sometime in the future you're going to get a puppy and you'll name him Beast and you'll give him a Facebook page of his own which is clearly the best way to cement yourself as an amazing owner, jsyk.
Hmm, yeah.C'mon the entire opening is rather melancholy. The muuuusssicc.
CAMERON: No, I'm sure you're right, this is a good guy -
DIVYA: Wow!!
CAMERON: - and he's very bright and I'm sure he didn't mean to...do what he did.
Cam is soft and sweet and mellow. (she also said that) JS.MARK: You sure about this?
SEAN: You're 20 minutes late. You're going to walk in there and say you overslept and you didn't have time to get dressed. They're gonna pitch you. Case Equity is gonna pitch you. They're gonna beg you to take their money. You're gonna nod, you're gonna nod, you're gonna nod, and then you're gonna say "Which one of you is Roth-" No, not Roth, Manningham. "Which one of you is Mitchell Manningham?" And he'll say "I am". And you'll say "Sean Parker says 'fuck you'" and then walk out.
MARK: Okay.
They see me trollin', they hatin'.
Mark spends this entire phone conversation being moody. I mean, he's all angry and then he's like whatever, good news! Like...he just wants Wardo to be with him.GLOOM AND DOOM WARDO. He's like some strange superhero villianly thing.
EDUARDO: Who are you gonna send it to?
MARK: Just a couple of people. The question is, who are they gonna send it to?
Mark! Comparing women to farm animals. Also, Phoenix parties look pretty dirty...another kid simply falls to his hands and knees and throws up
He's using livejournal. And hacking facebooks. Nerd.Bambi's last sceneee. Don't be nervous, darling, you're there.
EDUARDO: Do you remember the algorithm on the window at Kirkland?
MARK: Yeah.
Nostalgia...but adorably so.EDUARDO: I can't feel my legs.
Eh, whatever. NBD two girls want us to facebook them, Bill Gates was just talking to us and oh, there's this letter over here but it's okay 'cause Mark's dealin' with it and it's all good, nbd nbd.EDUARDO: I didn't know whether to dress for the party or for the business meeting so I kind of dressed for both.
ASSISTANT: Sean, he'll be right with you.
SEAN: No problem. You know this is where they filmed Towering Inferno.
MARK: That's comforting.
So peaceful. For the lulz.MARK: Do you ever think about the girl?
SEAN: What girl?
MARK: The one - the girl in high school who was - with the lacrosse thing.
SEAN: No.
And here we see Mark being different. Because Mark'll still think about the girl.
CAMERON: I just want him to tell me a couple more times how close the race was a couple more times. Brutal. It was brutally close. Excruciatingly brutal. Never seen a race so excruciatingly JESUS! EDUARDO: He's set up other meetings?
MARK: Yes.
EDUARDO: Without me knowing anything about it?!
MARK: You're in New York!
EDUARDO: I'm in New York riding subways 14 hours a day trying to find advertisers!
MARK: And how's it going so far?!!
LAWYER: Would you like to use my pen?CAMERON: Mark? Are you Mark Zuckerberg?
-
CAMERON: No, we have an idea we want to talk to you about. Do you have a minute.
I have way more than a minute for you, Armie.
Ugh, I hate those program charts in the background...and I hardly ever used it.IMULSIVE AND UNPREDICTABLE. That's you, Mark.
And it looks good on you.I know, I know, I could've used like anything on this. But this is what I thought of. Unfortunately, there was only the one cap of Wardo actually with the glass...so. It's just kinda awkberg.
Mark just got rejected. Harshly.CAMERON: Is there any way to make this a fair fight?
TYLER: We could jump out and swim.
CAMERON: I think we'd have to jump out and drown.
TYLER: Or you could row forward and I could row backward.
CAMERON: We're genetically identical, science says we'd stay in one place.
TYLER: Row the damn boat.
Well, Armie looks relaxed. Max did, too, for the most part.EDUARDO: Is there anything you need to tell me?
MARK: No.
Dustin. Restless, bouncy, adorable.AMY: Are you kidding me?! I could have been killed!
SEAN: How?
AMY: By running too fast...and getting twisted in the curtain - What do you need to ask me?
Mark totally makes Marylin sad, which is why she's also...sympathetic. See what I did there?THUMBS UP, WARDO. (which sounds like an action figure.)
EDUARDO: Jesus Christ.
CHRISTY: When did you get back?
EDUARDO: You scared me. I need you to knock.SY: You were accused of animal cruelty.
EDUARDO: Wait -
SY: You weren't?
EDUARDO: This isn't happening.
SY: I have an article here from the Crimson -
EDUARDO: Jesus Christ.
TYLER: Stop it. Stop it, Cameron. Knock it off. I don't mind that we lost to the Dutch today by less than a second. That was a good race, that was a fair race and they'll see us again. What I mind - and what you should mind - is showing up on Monday for a race that was run on Sunday. We tried talking to ourselves, we tried the Ad Board, and we tried the president of the University. Now I'm asking you. For the last time: let's take the considerable resources at our disposal and sue him in federal court!
DIVYA: Come on.
CAMERON: I need a real drink.
Y'know, metaphorically.DUSTIN: Who are the girls?
Christy being sleeping. I wouldn't mind being on Wardo's shoulder, either.And there's not really any options for this...so...they look like they could be straining themselves...yeah.
EDUARDO: Don't fish eat other fish?! The marlins and the trout?!MARK: Sharon.
SHARON: I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were -
MARK: No problem. Here you go.
SHARON: Wait -
Now do you see what I did there?CAMERON: Screw it. Let's gut the freakin' nerd.
DIV AND TY ARE VERY THANKFUL, CAM.
Wardo's got two beers, that's how thirsty he is.MARK: Did you know there are more people with genius IQ's living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?
ERICA: That can't possibly be true.
MARK: It is.
ERICA: What would account for that?
MARK: Well, first, an awful lot of people live in China.
COX: Hello? Wait, what? At 4 in the morning?
GRAD STUDENT: Well there's a very unusual amount of traffic to the switch at Kirkland.
COX: You're saying it's unusual for 4 in the morning?
GRAD STUDENT: No, this'd be usual for halftime at the Super Bowl.MARK: Wow. You'd do that for me?
Sarcastically, of course.
Well, that would make me uncomfortable, too.Sean's a weirdo. NOT A WARDO. HAR.
MARK: We're expanding to Yale and Columbia. EDUARDO: You and Erica split up?
MARK: How did you know that?
EDUARDO: It's on your blog.
MARK: Yeah.
EDUARDO: Are you alright?
MARK: I need you.
EDUARDO: I'm here for you.
- DEER GOD THIS TOOK SO LONG. Please don't hotlink/take without asking, etc.
- Credit: fanpop and script for the quotes.
- End of story, I suppose.