and as for getting over people: I don't know. I think it does, but only on certain levels. like you can give way, but you can't totally disconnect. I've only gotten over one person in my life and he was a Matt. and I was a prepubescent nightmare during that whole thing.
I don't think I'm ever going to get over Ben. ever. never. not happening.
and I've noticed so many patterns in the people I fall for, and how the relationships develop, and I notice I don't know how to trust myself either. for instance, it's bad news when you find that the only way to loosen up with a prospective lover is through alcohol. that really is all I've got going for me. even when I'm not drunk I use it to mask my sobriety.
but! life...ees good. and maybe things will quiet themselves. maybe after you do stuff with destressing and massaging and all that jazz, you'll find things not so much slipping away, but settling in another horizon.
Getting over certain people is impossible, I feel, because we want it to be impossible. We don't want to forget, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves we do. Hell, I'm still in love with someone who says they don't even remember how they used to feel, and who doesn't want to speak to me at all. And I've tried not loving them, and I've tried pretending it is okay, and I've even tried loving someone else. And I can't love someone else, and I'm not allowed to love them, because they don't want it anymore. And so.
The only thing I have going for me really, is that I love writing. So I drown myself in it and continue writing more, because it is one of the few things that makes me feel good. (Aside from alcohol, which I try to never drink because of that exact reason.)
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and as for getting over people: I don't know. I think it does, but only on certain levels. like you can give way, but you can't totally disconnect. I've only gotten over one person in my life and he was a Matt. and I was a prepubescent nightmare during that whole thing.
I don't think I'm ever going to get over Ben. ever. never. not happening.
and I've noticed so many patterns in the people I fall for, and how the relationships develop, and I notice I don't know how to trust myself either. for instance, it's bad news when you find that the only way to loosen up with a prospective lover is through alcohol. that really is all I've got going for me. even when I'm not drunk I use it to mask my sobriety.
but! life...ees good. and maybe things will quiet themselves. maybe after you do stuff with destressing and massaging and all that jazz, you'll find things not so much slipping away, but settling in another horizon.
...god now I sound like a Hallmark card.
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But yeah, I dunno about getting over people. It's more like "How do you deal with the memories left behind" than anything.
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Getting over certain people is impossible, I feel, because we want it to be impossible. We don't want to forget, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves we do. Hell, I'm still in love with someone who says they don't even remember how they used to feel, and who doesn't want to speak to me at all. And I've tried not loving them, and I've tried pretending it is okay, and I've even tried loving someone else. And I can't love someone else, and I'm not allowed to love them, because they don't want it anymore. And so.
The only thing I have going for me really, is that I love writing. So I drown myself in it and continue writing more, because it is one of the few things that makes me feel good. (Aside from alcohol, which I try to never drink because of that exact reason.)
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