I went to the supermarket today. But I did not buy anything. I just strolled around with my shopping cart, wishing I was in Italy. The Eiffel Tower is so romantic...

Truly,
-The Private

I woke up today and I was lonely.

Oh, so, lonely.

Admiral? Have I forgotten you so soon?

I've put on 30 pounds since Cindy left me. Where's my priorities?

<3 The Private

Age: 54
Sex: Not in ten years
Location: The seas
Religious beliefs: Either God or Neptune......maybe both!
Favorite county: Africa
Favorite animal: Blue Whale
Favorite food: Sperm Whale
Favorite booze: Rum
Favorite fun thing to do: The naked tango
Favorite color: Blue
Favorite word: Never!
What is on your desk right now?: a compass, a tissue, and ( Read more... )

I had a dream last nioght that I was back in Korea, at McDonolds of all places ( Read more... )

I am an empty person ( Read more... )

Today I ate a small piece of french-bread pizza, a baked potato, a whitefish cutlet, a peanut butter cookie, a coffeeeeee-feee, and a 90-calorie juice sorbet. And that's it ( Read more... )

This is a civil war, private! We are cultured people here. If you want to talk about your ding-daddy, shing-pow and woo-hah in these barracks, save it for the toilets, or else you'll be scrubbing them with your facial scruff ( Read more... )

Shirley might be pregnant, and right after we had a big fight. We didn't have sex for eight months and the first time we do she goes and gets knocked up ( Read more... )

You are have been and will always will be my bitch ( Read more... )

I'm really starting to feel the burn in my upper thigh. I can't tell if it's the exercise regime or the injections, but there's definately something going on down there. It's like when I was in the service and I'd run 5 miles a day, but I haven't gone more than point four in a long time, though I weigh more now ( Read more... )